The title pretty much sums up this story. I wrote this after "Instinct" as a way to reassure myself that all the events that transpired between Myka and Helena could be nothing less than love. It is basically just a summary of their epic love story.
Myka watched in the side mirror until Helena disappeared from view. She couldn't stop the flow of tears that began as she said goodbye to Helena, and only with great effort was she able to keep the wracking sobs she knew would come when she was at last alone, at bay for now. She didn't look at Pete, instead keeping her watery gaze on the passing scenery in the side window, but seeing none of it. The only thing she kept seeing was Helena's beautiful face, forever locked in memory. Mercifully, for once, Pete kept his comments to himself and remained as silent as the tears that continued to escape down her face.
They sat in the airport terminal, Myka grateful the tears seeming to have subsided for the moment. She could feel Pete's stare and finally resigned to look at him, through tired eyes. What she saw in Pete's concerned gaze was almost enough to break her. He suddenly knew.
"Oh, Mykes…I didn't know, I'm sorry," he spoke softly. "I mean, I knew you cared about her, and I'd get these vibes about you two when you were around each other, but I didn't know. You love her, don't you?"
Myka couldn't stop the tears again and she didn't trust her voice, so only nodded. She tried covering her face but Pete moved to envelope her into a hug.
"Hey, Myka, if you love her, we should go back so you can tell her," he encouraged.
Myka shook her head adamantly. "I can't, Pete. She's chosen her life now, and it isn't with me."
"But Myka, you were right. HG, she's not a normal person. That normal life isn't her, you know that, so does she."
"I can't, Pete," she replied.
"Why not?"
"Because I love her," she replied softly. I have to let her go, to choose the life she wants."
"But, Myka," he tried to protest.
"No, Pete, just don't," she said pulling away and firmly wiping away her tears. "This is how it has to be. Helena will live her life, with a family she loves, and I will live my life with the family I love and the warehouse," she said firmly dismissing any further discussion.
Pete said nothing more, but silently watched Myka as she took out one of her infamous books to read but read none of it.
They remained silent on the drive back to the B&B from the airport. Myka awake but curled against the passenger seat window, her eyes closed as visions of Helena played behind her eyelids.
The porch light was left on in an otherwise dark bed & breakfast as they parked. As tired as she was, Myka found herself grateful for the late hour. This time of night, she wasn't likely to be bombarded with Claudia's excited interest about Helena or Steve's kind inquiry. That would have to wait until the morning, a morning Myka wasn't sure she was ready to face anymore.
She tiredly unlocked the front door and let them in, hearing Pete lock the door again behind him. She silently began her ascent upstairs when she heard Pete call out to her.
"Myka…"
"'Night, Pete," she cut him off never turning to face him as she steadily climbed the stairs. Pete watched her go silently, the frown on his face only growing.
"Goodnight, Myka," he managed on a sigh.
Myka closed her bedroom door behind her and walked as if in a daze to her bed where she collapsed, not bothering to change into sleep clothes. The moment her curly head touched the pillow, the sobs began to wrack from her body. She tried to contain them to no avail and just buried her head in her pillow hoping she wouldn't be heard.
Helena had suggested they meet for coffee next time their paths crossed. The idea was ridiculous. When would Myka have time to go to Wisconsin for coffee? She didn't and that was the point, wasn't it? She cried herself to sleep at the empty offer.
Only Pete who followed her upstairs heard her sobs as he stopped briefly by her door. He wanted to comfort her, but he knew Myka wouldn't let him and probably resent him for trying. The only one who could truly comfort Myka was HG, the very person responsible now for her emotional anguish.
Pete continued to his own room and began to berate himself. He asked himself how he could have been so blind. By the book Bering broke the rules for HG, and only HG. HG was the reason for Myka leaving the warehouse, and the reason she came back. How could he have not have seen it?
His last thoughts before succumbing to sleep were how to make things right for his partner.
"Good morning," Pete spoke as he joined Claudia and Steve at the breakfast table.
"Petester, you are looking at the woman responsible for saving the warehouse," Claudia bragged good-naturally.
"But she's still so humble," Steve joked.
"Shush, you," Claudia retorted.
"Yeah, Artie told us something about that over the Farnsworth. Good job, Claud."
Claudia looked at him skeptically. "I save the warehouse and all I get is a good job, Claud? I think I deserve at least an awesome and thank you that we all still have a place to work."
"She was awesome," Abigail agreed as she joined them at the table.
"Yeah, yeah, sorry, Claud. Awesome job," Pete amended, "my thoughts are just a little distracted right now."
"Yeah, how was your case? How was HG, did she come back with you? And where is Myka? She's usually the first one up. Oh my god, are they upstairs together…you know?" she asked her expression giddy.
"Claudia, that's not really any of our business, if they are," Steve tried to scold.
"Claud, you knew Myka and HG were in love?" Pete asked surprised.
Claudia grinned and squealed in excitement. "I didn't know for sure, but the way they looked at each other, yeah, you could tell there was something between them. After all, HG is the reason Myka left the warehouse…"
"And the reason she returned," Steve supplied earning a glare from Claudia for interrupting. "What? I'm not allowed to add my take on their relationship. I may be the new guy, but only because Myka left because of HG."
"I'm sorry, I missed something here. Who's HG exactly?"
Pete, Claudia and Steve all turned to look to Abigail.
"I guess you haven't been briefed on everything related to the warehouse yet," Claudia spoke first. "Should we…?" she asked looking uncertain to Pete and Steve.
"Yeah," Pete spoke. "I think Abigail should know about HG. But first, Claud, Steve, the reunion with HG and Myka wasn't…what it should have been, I guess."
"What happened?" Claudia instantly looked concerned.
Pete sighed heavily. "I didn't even know Myka loved HG until she started crying as we drove away."
"Oh, god, what happened?" Claudia swallowed hard.
"HG is apparently trying to live a normal life, even though as Myka said, she's not normal."
"She?" Abigail interjected. "I didn't know Myka was…"
"She's not," Steve interrupted. "It's just HG, only HG. We had a brief conversation several months ago on a case," he explained to the curious faces of Pete and Claudia.
"Oh man, why would she tell you and not me?" Pete asked hurt.
"She didn't really say anything, Pete, to confirm, it was just the feeling I got when she happened to mention HG, that's all."
"Can we focus, please? We all know Myka doesn't talk about her feelings; we have to interpret them. Now, what happened, Pete?" Claudia prodded.
"HG has, I guess there's no other word for it but adopted, a normal life, complete with a live-in boyfriend and his daughter."
Claudia leaned forward. "How old is the daughter?" she asked knowingly.
"Close to Christina's age," Pete confirmed.
"Who is Christina?" interjected Abigail. "And are you going to tell me exactly who HG is?"
Claudia and Pete ignored her questions and continued on. "Oh my god, poor, Myka," Claudia spoke defeated.
"I know," Pete nodded.
"So HG is substituting the so called life of normalcy to have a daughter again."
"It appears that way. Myka called her on it too, telling her that life wasn't who she was. HG didn't react favorably to it."
"But if anyone would know HG, it's Myka. HG said it herself that day in the woods with the Janus Coin."
"I know," Pete shook his head vigorously. "How do you say goodbye to the one person who knows you better than anyone else? I should have realized it then they were in love," he said shaking his head dismally.
"Well yeah, remember the way Myka lashed out at you for even suggesting to destroy the coin with HG's consciousness? Logically, we all knew the idea made sense to save the warehouse, but emotionally, Myka couldn't do it. And once again, it was HG that had to convince her to go through with it. Thankfully that's when you arrived, Jinksy," Claudia patted his shoulder.
"Well, glad we can see the bright side of those events now," he smiled.
"Okay, enough," Abigail spoke agitated, beginning to rise from the table. "I'm completely confused to what's going on. If you don't want to explain, it must not be any of my business and I'll just leave you all to your war stories."
"No, wait, you need to be involved in this too," Pete spoke quickly.
"What for?" she asked perplexed.
"For HG. She isn't well, you need to help her."
Abigail met his imploring eyes and looked again at Claudia and Steve who both nodded their confirmation.
"Fine then. Will someone, please explain to me who HG is and Christina and what they have to do exactly with Myka?"
Claudia began. HG is HG Wells, as in the father of science fiction who is actually…"
"A woman," Pete interrupted earning him a glare from Claudia. "What? I met her before you did."
"Yeah, on the other end of a tesla if I remember correctly," Claudia smirked.
Abigail held up her hands. "Okay, I think this story will go more smoothly if just one of you tells me what's going on."
Pete and Claudia looked at each other, Claudia quirking an eyebrow.
"Fine, you tell her," he pushed back in his chair.
"Okay," Claudia grinned, "so the cliff notes version is this. HG Wells is actually Helena George Wells, who lived in Victorian England. She was the brains and research behind all the novels that were written by her brother, Charles. HG was also an agent of Warehouse 12. Tragically, her eight-year-old daughter, Christina was murdered in Paris where HG had sent her to spend a holiday with cousins. HG went mad with grief, but in hearing the accounts of what happened that day, apparently Christina's governess fought the murderers in a martial arts form called kenpo that HG was versed in. That fact made her realize she had somehow managed to travel back in time to attempt to stop Christina's murder. So, HG created an actual time machine and tried to change the past, but it didn't work.
"Desperate, she tried to find another way. After all, she worked with endless wonder everyday at Warehouse 12. She felt there had to be something to bring Christina back. Through her carelessness, she accidentally killed a fellow agent. It was then that HG asked to be bronzed. The regents agreed, who knows why, but they felt she was a danger. With me so far?" Claudia breathed.
"I think so," Abigail spoke.
"Good. Fast forward to 2010. James McPherson, Artie's old partner, turned dark and began selling artifacts on the black market. He released HG from the bronze sector and Pete and Myka met her for the first time at her home in London."
"Right from the beginning she knocked us off our feet," Pete supplied.
Claudia glared at him.
"I'm just saying, the woman is genius," he added.
"Yeah, that's not what I remember you saying as you recounted the story of being flung up to the ceiling."
"Yeah, well, Myka was impressed, at least after her initial disbelief that an anti-gravity matter she read about in a novel as a kid actually existed because of a female HG Wells."
"Yes, we're getting to how Myka fell hard for her." Claudia turned back to look at Abigail. "Pete's right. Myka's favorite author was HG Wells. To find out she was actually a woman, a woman ahead of her time, now living in our time, only fueled Myka's hero-worship of her.
"Myka next met ran into HG Wells at a university in California, where I might add, I was on my first assignment as a warehouse agent with her."
"Apprentice," Pete interjected.
Claudia rolled her eyes. "Yes, well, long story short, Myka went from initial distrust, as in she was choking HG with one hand and had a tesla aimed at her from another, to complete faith and trust in her to save my life; which she did."
"Don't forget about the grappler," Pete added.
"Of course, I would be remiss if I didn't mention the grappler gun. Before saving my life, HG saved Myka's life by pulling her out of the way of a speeding vehicle by way of a grappler gun. After saving my life, HG disappeared without so much as a goodbye, except she left her grappler for Myka." Claudia breathed. "You still with us?" she asked Abigail.
"Yes," Abigail replied.
Claudia nodded approvingly. "So, the next time their paths cross, it's again to help with a case and Myka alone has a conversation with her. This is after Artie implicitly told she and myself that if we ever had another run in with her, we were to fill him in immediately."
"Right," Pete spoke up. "Myka never mentioned her conversation with HG until we were with Artie trying to figure out why HG was at NSA headquarters where our former boss was killed by an artifact. She was trying to explain a valid reason HG would be there other than being the source behind the killing, something that Artie was convinced she was.
"I mean, looking back now, I realize how major that was to their story. Myka Bering has always been a by the book agent, no room to divert from the plan, she would never disobey an order from a superior. And there she was, having a conversation with HG when she should have apprehended her. Once again, how did I not realize how huge that was for Myka to do?" Pete looked around the table.
"I don't know, dude, but if it makes you feel better, none of us really picked up on it then," Claudia added. "You better finish this story, I wasn't there."
"Right. So, the case leads Artie, Myka and I to Russia, where, we run into HG. I'm skeptical about her being there, but Myka points out that we could use the help, because by that time, Artie had disappeared by the man responsible for killing our former boss, the son of a man Artie used to work with long ago. He blamed Artie for his father's death, and cutting to the chase, HG saved Artie's life."
"But not before succumbing to an artifact herself," Claudia added, remembering the events being recounted to her after that mission.
"That's right. She almost froze to death by a plank of wood from the Titanic."
Pete looked at Claudia. "You know, Myka took her back to her hotel room that evening, and I didn't see her again until morning. I knew she was helping HG with the after effects of the artifact, but she never mentioned what she did to help her and I never thought to ask," he suddenly looked perplexed.
"Relax, Pete. The important thing is HG recovered, whatever Myka did to help her obviously worked," Claudia replied.
"Yeah, right," Pete grinned. "Do you think they…?"
"No, and don't even finish that sentence."
"I don't know. You weren't there when HG was reinstated as an agent. Myka's smile was so…happy. Different from the smile she gives the rest of us."
"Well yeah, HG was her hero and because of Myka's field report, she was reinstated as an agent, rather than be re-bronzed and Myka would get to work beside her on a daily basis, actually get to know her."
"Man, Artie was not happy about the reinstatement."
"Considering the events that followed, he had reason not to be."
"What happened?" Abigail asked.
Pete and Claudia looked at each other and nodded.
"She tried to end the world," Claudia spoke sadly.
"Oh my god," Abigail breathed horrified at the idea. "That poor woman. Her grief truly did drive her mad."
"Yeah," Claudia nodded. "Our mistake was not getting someone like you to help her the moment she was reinstated. She fooled everyone into thinking she was perfectly fine."
"And Myka?" Abigail questioned.
"Myka was the only one who could talk her down, according to Artie," Pete spoke. "He was with Myka at Yellowstone where HG had a trident to end the world. It was only by forcing a gun into HG's hand and having her point the gun to Myka's own head, daring her to take Myka's life that HG finally dropped the trident."
"She couldn't kill Myka despite trying to destroy the world," Abigail spoke understanding.
"If it had been anyone else but Myka to talk to HG, we wouldn't all be sitting here now," Pete spoke with conviction.
"Obviously HG loves Myka," Abigail spoke.
Claudia nodded. "Yeah, but Myka left the warehouse right after that incident. She couldn't trust herself anymore. Her feelings for HG could have cost the world. And that's where the Janus coin comes into play we mentioned earlier. The regents could no longer trust HG, but decided against re-bronzing her. Instead they used the Janus coin to separate her body from her mind."
"How awful," Abigail spoke sincerely.
"Maybe, but the bronze wasn't any better solution. HG told us at our first meeting that the bronze left her immobile, but not unconscious. For a century, she had nothing but her own thoughts, and memories of Christina and her murder," Pete explained.
"That's horrible," Abigail intoned. "No wonder she went crazy. Thank god she had Myka in her life."
"Thank god they had each other," Claudia supplied. "HG is the one who convinced Myka to return to the warehouse when no one else could."
"Hey, don't rub it in," Pete spoke; still hurt he wasn't able to get Myka to return.
"I'm just speaking the truth, Pete, none of us could bring her back."
"Except HG. How?" asked Abigail.
"Mrs. Frederic brought HG's consciousness to Myka at her parent's bookstore. The device they stored HG's mind in was able to create a projection of HG's body and she talked to Myka. Myka has never said what HG told her, but I find it interesting Mrs. Frederic knew HG would be the one to help Myka return."
"Yeah, Mrs. F is freaky that way," Pete agreed.
"Really, was I so terrible that you couldn't let me step into Myka's place?" Steve asked.
Claudia and Pete both gave him a skeptical look.
"Right," he breathed, "there is no replacing Myka, you're right," Steve quickly nodded. "Besides, she saved my life that first case, so I'm eternally grateful to her."
"As you should be," Claudia agreed. "Besides getting Myka back allowed you the distinct pleasure of working with moi."
"I'm not sure pleasure is a word I'd use," Steve remarked.
Claudia raised an eyebrow. "Oh really?
Steve began to laugh heartily.
"Can we get back to the story at hand," Abigail interrupted. "You said earlier HG's body and mind were separated. Her mind was stored in some sort of device, what about her body?"
"Right, the story, Myka and HG's story," Claudia continued. "We'll get to what happened to her body in a moment.
"So, HG was pulled from the, as Pete refers to it, the pokeball, to work a mission with him and Myka which resulted favorably. Myka seemed a mixture of happy and sad to see her and work with her again, but there was no incident, and no reason to see HG again until Sykes happened."
"What's Sykes?" asked Abigail.
"Not what, but who," Pete spoke. "Walter Sykes was a young boy when he discovered an artifact that allowed his crippled legs to walk. The Collodi bracelet allowed the wearer to do have great power, but it turns you completely dark. The bracelet wasn't removed from him in time before the darkness took over and he never forgot the power he was robbed of when he became a cripple again. As an adult, he set about to destroy the warehouse, and HG became a part of his plan."
"We found a file that led us to Cheyenne, Wyoming where Pete and Myka went to a high school there mentioned in the file. There, they found HG's body, given a completely new identity and mind of Emily Lake. The regents treated her as if she was a victim of amnesia and created a completely new identity for her. The great time traveler, writer, inventor HG Wells, was now a high school English teacher."
"With a cat," Pete supplied.
"Pete, really?" Claudia asked. "No wonder Myka gets annoyed with you."
"I'm just saying. Dickens saved my bacon, that's not something I'll forget. I wonder what the regents did with him?"
"Who knows what the regents do with anything?" Claudia replied exasperated.
"Anyway, Sykes' goon came after us and while I was fighting him off, Myka took Emily to try to escape. But that's when good ole' Steve here held them at gunpoint, shot Myka and I with a tesla and took off with Emily Lake."
Abigail turned to look at Steve confused.
"I was working undercover. No one knew except Mrs. Frederic and the regents," he offered helpfully.
"We were desperate by that point to figure out what Sykes's plan was. Obviously he wanted HG for something, but he only had one half of her. Finally the regents allowed us to obtain HG's mind again and Pete, Myka and I raced to get to the coin first, hoping HG would know why Sykes wanted her."
"Only she didn't know a thing about it either," Pete spoke. "Still we had one half of her, arguably the more important half, and we were ordered back to the warehouse."
"Only Pete here came up with an idea to save the warehouse right then."
"To destroy the coin," Abigail spoke. "That's what you mentioned earlier."
"Right," Claudia continued. "We stopped in the forest to talk about it and Myka wouldn't hear of it. To be truthful, I wasn't for it either."
"Hey, I didn't want to do it, I just felt it would be better for the warehouse," Pete replied defensively.
"I know, and it made total sense, even I knew that. But, like I said, Myka wouldn't hear of it. So I let HG out of the device so she could be present in the conversation that involved her fate. She agreed with Pete. I'll never forget the look on Myka's face when she turned to see HG agreeing with Pete about destroying her. Myka looked so…devastated."
Pete nodded sadly. "HG told Myka they had to think rationally and not emotionally. They tried to say goodbye, but…"
"How can you say goodbye to the one person who knows you better than anyone else?" Claudia spoke softly. "That's what HG told Myka. And it's true, Myka does know her better than else, just as HG knows Myka better than anyone else."
"But the coin wasn't destroyed?" Abigail asked.
"No, I showed up at that moment and was able to take it from them," Steve supplied.
"Yeah, with the help of another artifact. Cecil B. DeMille's riding crop allows a person's body to be controlled," Pete explained. "It stopped me from destroying the coin…"
"Just in time for me to snatch it from under Jinksy's nose," Claudia interrupted. "Jinksy caught me but finally let me in on his secret that he was working undercover so I gave him the coin."
"And I gave the coin to Sykes who finally reunited HG's mind with her body. And, that's about the last thing I remember about this plot," Steve spoke.
"Right, because you were killed, and then we brought you back to life." Claudia looked at Abigail's bewildered face. "And that's a story for another day," she said quickly brushing it aside to continue her story.
"So, at last HG Wells is once again corporeal and Sykes takes her to Hong Kong where Pete and Myka are hot on their trail."
"Yeah, we found the underground sanctum of Warehouse 8 that allowed a portal connection to our warehouse. As it turns out, Sykes needed HG to unlock the gateway. Cataranga was HG's teacher and mentor of Warehouse 12 and he designed the chess lock. As in, you had to win a game of chess to unlock it."
Abigail looked confused. "That doesn't sound so difficult. Anyone who plays chess should be able to open it easily."
Pete shook his head dubiously. "Not this game. Three wrong moves and you're dead, as Myka and I witnessed just as we arrived on scene. Before we knew what was happening, Sykes used DeMille's riding crop to force HG to put Myka in the chair and play the game. HG was desperate to find a way to win the game. She'd told Myka to play two moves that didn't work and Myka was one move away from being killed. The look that passed between them – I should have known then they were in love, but I was so scared for Myka it didn't register."
"How did they beat the game then?" Abigail asked interested.
"Myka told HG to take a breath and said she knew HG was going to save her life. Myka's unwavering faith in HG allowed her to do just as Myka asked. She took a moment to think and the answer suddenly came to her. 'Change the rules.' She told Myka to move the pawn in a play that shouldn't have worked, but it did."
"Given their history, HG's betrayal before, the fact that Myka trusted HG even when her own life was in jeopardy – it's incredible," Abigail breathed. "Myka's devotion to Helena is truly like nothing I've ever heard before," she spoke admiringly.
"Yeah, but the celebration was short lived. "I tried to take out Sykes with a tesla and he used the riding crop on me to shoot Myka and HG with it instead, just before we passed through the portal without them.
"Sykes took back the Collodi bracelet allowing him to walk again. He planned to pass through the open portal Myka and HG managed to come through, after he set off the timer to a bomb with artifact elements. I tackled him to the ground and he hit his head, which turned out to be fatal. With the help of Artie and HG, Myka neutralized Sykes with another artifact, Gandhi's Dhotti, just before he died, thus saving the warehouse and all our lives."
"Yeah, but remember what Artie finally told us," Claudia interrupted. "There was an alternate timeline where the warehouse was destroyed."
Abigail looked confused. "Another timeline? If the warehouse was destroyed, wouldn't that mean…" she asked looking around the table.
"That we would have died," Pete nodded. "Yeah, only HG saved us. According to Artie, she managed to rig some sort of force field from the protective barrier set around the warehouse when it was being threatened. She encased Artie, Myka and I in that force field and sacrificed herself."
Abigail drew in a sharp breath. "I'm beginning to feel you're assessment that this woman is not normal is an understatement. To have the intelligence and the bravery to perform such a selfless act…and under so much pressure…it's incredible."
"I don't remember that timeline," Pete spoke, "but this is HG and Myka we're talking about. Everything we've mentioned so far speaks about their…devotion to each other. If Myka was in danger, I have no trouble believing HG would do whatever was in her power to save her. I'm just glad she did, for all our sakes."
"Yeah," Claudia added, "thank god you and Artie were standing near Myka at the time, because if HG had been forced to choose who to save, all my money is on Myka.
"As it was," Claudia continued, "Artie had an artifact on him, a pocket watch that gave us clues about an artifact that could turn back time for 24 hours."
"Magellan's astrolabe," Pete supplied. "Artie hasn't said too much about the events leading up to finding the artifact, but it allowed him just enough time to discover an artifact, Gandhi's Dhotti, that could stop the bomb and save the warehouse."
"But the astrolabe came with its own problems, as you're no doubt aware of," Claudia spoke addressing Abigail who nodded in confirmation.
"So what happened to HG then? Where did she go after the bomb was diffused?"
"The regents took her away. At first we didn't know for what purpose, but I think she was working odd jobs for them," Pete supplied.
Claudia spoke, "HG was the first one to realize what artifact Artie used. Myka said HG seemed suspicious that Artie knew there was a bomb in the warehouse and exactly where it was. While working separate from us, HG figured out Artie used the astrolabe and told Mrs. Frederic, who then told HG to disappear with it until it was safe to return."
"So now the question is, why didn't HG come back to the warehouse after the astrolabe was returned?" Pete voiced the question the rest of the table asked themselves. "And what can we do to finally do to bring her and Myka together again?"
"I think, based on what you've shared with me this morning," Abigail began, "the feelings HG and Myka have for each other can be nothing short of love, given the actions they have displayed towards one another. However, if anything is to come of those actions, it has to come from the two women involved, not anyone else. I think, as difficult as it may be, you just have to let them work it out on their own."
Pete sighed heavily. "I was afraid you'd say that."
Myka was silently reading, curled up on the sofa in the B&B library when at last she sighed. "You can come in, you know Claudia."
Claudia straightened at her words, pretending she hadn't been sneaking looks inside for the past ten minutes.
Myka didn't raise her eyes from her book until Claudia plopped down on the sofa beside her. Only then did she lower her book and look at Claudia expectantly.
"So…you and HG," Claudia opened the conversation somewhat nervously.
Myka's eyes widened at the statement. "What did Pete tell you?" she asked startled.
Claudia smiled weakly. "Besides the fact the trip to suburbia land didn't go so well, he didn't say anymore than what I all ready had suspicions about."
Myka looked down at her hands resting over the book in her lap. "Claudia…" she tried to explain, to deny, to…she wasn't sure what, as tears blurred in her eyes.
"Hey, Myka," Claudia interrupted, "I loved her too."
Myka looked up sharply at her words.
"I mean, not like you obviously love her…obviously," she stuttered. "Because that would just be weird…not that I think it's weird you love her that way or anything…" she tried to explain, mentally chastising herself that this conversation that wasn't going the way she meant it to.
Myka laughed lightly, her eyes bright with unshed tears. "Relax, Claud, it's okay. I know what you mean."
Claudia looked at Myka then, really looked at her, this woman who was both a mentor and big sister to her. Even in her obvious distress, Myka was trying to comfort her.
"You looked up to her, valued her opinions, learned from her," Myka went on.
Claudia nodded, tears beginning to prick at her own eyes. "Yeah, but you're in love with her, aren't you Myka?" she pressed.
Myka sat up, slipping her feet off the sofa to place them on the floor, almost as if in preparation to run. "I don't…"
"Myka, I know you're a very private person, but we're all family here and we all love you and just want to see you happy."
Myka bravely met Claudia's sympathetic eyes. "Right now, Claud, it feels like I'll never be happy again," she admitted softly.
Claudia scooted closer so she could wrap Myka in a hug. "I know that feeling, it's like what I felt when Steve died. But HG is incredibly smart, the smartest woman I know, after you, and she'll figure out the warehouse…and you…are where she belongs and come back, I'm sure of it."
"I wish I had your faith," Myka whispered.
"We work in a place of endless wonder, Myka. A place that made it possible for you to fall in love with a female HG Wells who was bronzed for a century. Life in suburbia can't possibly compare to a life of endless wonder at the warehouse, with you," she spoke confidently.
"I wish I had your confidence, Claudia, but life in suburbia does have something we can't offer Helena; a child. It's obvious that Helena loves Adelaide."
"But she loves you more!" Claudia persisted.
Myka sighed, rising from her seat on the sofa. "I'm not sure she loves me at all," Myka replied before she retreated from the library leaving Claudia helpless but to watch her walk away.
"Myka, hi," Abigail spoke cheerfully as she entered the kitchen where Myka was pouring herself a cup of coffee. "How are you?" she asked genuinely interested.
Myka appraised the woman before her long enough that Abigail's cheerfulness began to falter under her stare.
"How much did Pete tell you about Helena and I?" Myka asked knowingly.
"He and Claudia pretty much filled me in on your entire story this morning over breakfast," she admitted.
Myka sighed. "I should have known."
Abigail stepped forward. "I just want you to know, Myka, that I'm here if you want to talk. Truthfully, I find your story to be one of the most beautiful stories of love and redemption I've ever heard," she spoke gently.
Myka laughed but there was no humor in the sound. "We met at gunpoint and said goodbye on a driveway in Wisconsin of all places," she replied, "where Helena is still pretending to be someone she's not."
"Yes," Abigail conceded, "but we all heal in different ways."
Myka nodded. "I know," she spoke softly, and I do want Helena to heal, in whatever way she needs to. I just…I wish we had gotten someone like you as soon as she was reinstated. If we had, maybe she wouldn't have tried to destroy the world and Helena would be here now…rather than…not," she finished dejectedly.
"You're the one who stopped her from destroying the world, Myka. Take comfort in the fact that she cared more about you than her plans to end the world when that had been her plan for who knows how long."
Myka swallowed hard. "It doesn't mean very much when now she's in a place where she feels she belongs, and it isn't here."
With me was left unsaid, but heard by Abigail nonetheless. She moved closer to Myka to give her arm a gentle squeeze in comfort. "I'm here if you want to talk, Myka, and not as a psychologist, but as a friend."
Myka's troubled eyes met Abigail's kind ones. "I guess I just want to make sense of it, you know? Why did Helena feel she couldn't come to me after the astrolabe was returned? Why didn't she care enough to say goodbye at the very least?"
Abigail thought on these questions a moment. "It's true, I've never met Helena, but I get the feeling she's a proud woman. I think perhaps, she feels she doesn't deserve your friendship or your love after all she did. Perhaps the reality is she cared too much to say goodbye."
Abigail's words resonated with Myka, and they triggered something else Helena told her at their last parting. 'You will never lose this friend.' Helena hadn't said goodbye and Myka managed a soft smile at the thought. Maybe this wasn't the end of their story after all, but merely another beginning in a story that truly was a wonder.