I'M A FUCKING MESS AND I'M BEYOND EXHAUSTED JSJS. Anyway, school is difficult and I just wanna sleep forever but; here I am. ANYWAY

Sorry for how slow updates are, I'm genuinely struggling with school and my mental health (yeet), but I'm getting there (ish).

I'm so tired. I have a massive exam soon so ahhh.

ALSO HALF THIS STORY IS RECOVERY BUT THEN MORE PLOT IS COMING BECAUSE I'M A DICKHEAD XOXO

Enjoy:

Leo POV:

I couldn't be having a panic attack. Nothing had happened to me. I wasn't like Percy or Annabeth. I didn't have a solid reason. So why the fuck am I freaking out? Why does my chest feel like it's tearing itself apart, and my legs won't stop moving.

I move my fingers, bending metal around and around in circles, jumping slightly when it snaps, the loss of tension scaring me into holding my head, gripping my hair in an attempt to slow my breathing once again. All the techniques I had taught myself seeming to be too far away for me to grab, too far away to breathe again. Calypso had calmed me down recently, as they had gotten worse. Telling me what to do, how to breathe, how to breathe in time.

But she was so far away. I couldn't reach her. Everyone had their person, Jason had Piper, Hazel had Frank, Percy had Annabeth. Even though Nico had Will, and Thalia had her huntress girlfriend (who she refused to tell us the name of) those two had each other. And I was alone. Screaming in silence.

"It's too early," I complain, sliding down to the seat next to Percy, who gives me a sigh of agreeance. The demi gods are sitting around a table, everyone looking exhausted. No one had done classes the past two days. It was a Saturday and Harry and Co. where suspicious of us, bugging us with questions of why no one was doing lessons.

"We're fucking up this quest." Thalia was the first to speak, no one responded to her. "We can't focus on home."

"Says the person who's girlfriend is in Scotland right now."

"Shut it, Di Angleo." She hissed, turning on him, glaring. Nico shrugged, raising his hands in defence. "That's not even my point. We need to plan this better. We need to assign ourselves different parts of the quest. I think. I think we all need to try to be friends with Harry and his friends. Piper and Hazel, you first maybe. Annabeth?"

"I'm doing a project with Hermione. I can try to befriend her first off, and then the others. But she's really sus."

"I can try with Ron, and the twins," I suggest. "At least the twins. They have a good joke shop and are handy. I can offer some help. Maybe getting closer with some of Ron's family will help in this case?"

Everyone nods slowly; "yeah, that's a good idea." Jason stands up, walking to the other end of the table, facing myself and Annabeth directly, he leans on the chair in front of him, head hanging down over his hands, almost touching the back of the seat with his forehead, his body hunched, and tired. "Umbridge?"

"Handled. Nico and I are trying to befriend her, in some sense. Percy and Thals will snap too easily. She already hates you, Thals. Don't give me that look."

"Anything else?" I ask the room is silent for a moment, except for Piper tapping on the table in a messy beat.

"Frank, Jason. You try with Harry. Leo you too. Maybe try to crack the boys first. Piper, try to help them. We just need to get close to these three or at least befriend them and everything will be so much easier." Annabeth bites her lip thinking.

"We should try with their other friends as well," I suggest. Everyone turns around. "That weird girl, everyone calls her Loony…"

"Luna Lovegood." Nico supplies. I nod to him, he just stares back. That kid gives me the creeps.

"Her. We should try to befriend Luna, and Neville. Maybe Ginny as well. She seems to be in their group. Maybe, Cho Chang, rumour has it Harry is into her."

Nico almost laughs at this, wiggling his eyebrows to Thalia, who stares at him and turns back to me, mouthing a sorry.

"Not Cho." Jason mutters. "She was with that boy that died last year. Cedric. He was in my house, they all seem to be suffering. Especially the sixth years."

"He died?"

"Yeah. During the tournament last year, he died in the final task. Apparently, it really messed Chang up, and the rest of his house. I think we should stay away from her for a while. At least from the Hufflepuff kids, I don't think they're ready to accept that Voldemort is back."

"Jace, I don't think anyone is."

Calypso cocked her head to the side, her hair falling over her face; "I can ask to come."

"That would be weird." I mumble. She frowns in response, rolling her bottom lip in. "I miss you."

"I miss you too. Are you feeling okay?"

I go to nod, reassure her that I'm doing okay, that I'm feeling fine. That everything is okay.

"Don't lie, Leo." I don't look at her, biting my lip in thought.

"I had a panic attack last night." She didn't say anything, watching me. "I need to stop having them. I don't have any reasons to."

"Leo."

"I don't. I didn't fall into hell, I missed half the war because I was with you. I stayed away because I was on my ship. I was away from the trauma. I shouldn't be doing this."

"Leo. You're allowed to be upset."

"But I'm having panic attacks," I mumble. She flickers, the mist failing for a moment.

"Stop denying yourself the panic attacks."

"I'm not."

"Leo."

"I can't have them. It's not fair." She shakes her head at me. "I shouldn't be having them."

"Stop it. Now. You've been through so much. Don't shake your head. You told me. You were thrown into the fire by Hera, you were almost killed by Gaea, repeatedly. You lost your mother, and were called the devil. Leo, you have been through so much. You are allowed to be sad, and have panic attacks, and feel shitty. Stop saying you aren't allowed to." She finishes. I shake my head at her. "Leo. Let yourself have these feelings."

I want to turn my back to her, try hide the fact that I'm crying again. The tears stinging my eyes.

"Leo?"

"I'm fine. There are classes soon. Bye." I shut off the mist, putting my head in my palms, taking a deep breathe, in and out. My breathing is shuddering, and shaking.

I can't fall apart. Not today. Everyone else is hurting. I have to wait. I just have to wait.

Fred and George sat either side of me, with stupid smiles spread across their faces. That looked suspiciously…suspicious.

"Hear you like a good prank?" George asks. I try hide my smile, turning to grin at my plate.

"Do you want to join us in a prank," Fred basically demanded. I turn to him, attempting to hide my growing grin.

"That doesn't sound like a question."

"Tis not, dear Leo," George started. "It would be an honour to enlist you."

"Depends what the prank is."

"Only the best pranks, my love Leo!" Fred spoke, allowing to put as much emphasis as he could into the word 'love', having a mini fight with his brother, the pair turning to each other, throwing dirty looks.

"I'll join you."

"Fantastic. The real question is, who do you love more? Fred or myself?"

"Myself?"

"George, I'm in love."

Hermione POV:

"It's so late," Ron complains, swaying against me and away from me as we roam the halls.

"We're on duty, Ron."

"So? I'm still tired. Isn't this near Umbridge's office? Can't we avoid it?"

"No, Ron. We have to patrol." I grab his arm, pulling him towards the route we're meant to follow, him grumbling to me in response.

"We should try. With the exchange students. Before you grumble. I was talking to Percy the other day, and he doesn't seem bad, Herm. You said we need house unity."

"I don't trust them."

"Neither do I. But I think we need to try."

I tap my fingers, thinking. He's right, we need to have house unity. We all need it. For the good of the survival of the Hogwarts, and the hat. The bloody hat thinks we need it.

"I guess," I mumble, glancing at Ron who's beaming at winning the mini argument. We walk together, Ron lagging behind more than usual, dragging his feet at the pace that made me want to throw him off a bridge.

"Fucking hell, Seamus keeps bugging me about 'borrowing' my divination work."

"Since when were you good at work?" I tease, Ron grumbles in reply, pushing me softly with his hand. "Okay, okay. But seriously?"

"I make it all up! It's so easy with that subject, you can bullshit it all. That corner there? There's a change in your life is coming soon," he 'whooing' sound with his mouth, moving his arms up and down like he's doing a bad freestyle. "The ceiling? You're being held down my something in your life, or a person close to you is. The flickering fire? New drama's shall arise soon, and trouble your life."

"I get it, you're so funny."

"I am funny," He grins, "but seriously, he won't leave me alone. Can't he do his own work?"

"If you could only hear yourself." I laugh, turning the corner, grabbing him so he follows me on the correct path.

"Yeah, but it's divination. You can make it all up, and still be correct. You can't make up the stuff in DADA and potions."

"So? You're complaining to me, about what you do, to make me complain."

"Shh, let me be upset." He grumbles. "Also, I want to sleep."

"Same."

"Let's just sleep here, instead of roaming these bloody halls for another hour, pretending we care about the students we see walking the halls."

"You care if it's a Slytherin."

"Yeah, because it's a Slytherin, and they need punishment."

"'We need house unity.'" I quote, "if any kid is out, we take house points."

"Yes, but, if we take more points from Slytherin, then it evens out the points Snape takes from us for breathing during potions."

I can't help but laugh, pushing Ron away, his face breaking into a smile, his face red from walking.

Nico POV:

"Who's that?" A boy sneered. Nico turned around slowly, photo of him and Nico clenched in his hand. "Are you a fucking fag?"

"What's it to you?" Nico replied. He did not want to be involved in this conversation in the fucking slightest. Yet here he was.

"That you're a faggot who fucks boys."

"I mean yes." Nico laughed. "I do fuck boys, specifically my boyfriend. And only my boyfriend."

"Fag." He sneered, pushed up against his face. Moving closer to him, small, beady eyes flickering and glaring at him.

"Want to say that again, Goyle?" Draco sneered, coming up from behind Nico. He has the foulest looks on his face, daggers towards the other boy. "You're really going to use that language? I thought better of you."

"He's a fucking faggot. What if he touched me?" Goyle took a step or two back, arms crossed across his chest. Almost if he was protecting himself. Draco didn't move from his position, standing with his arms beside his side. He had the power, easily.

"You're sickening. He's not a rapist. I can tell my father all of this. What would Daddy Goyle say, huh? Seeing you're targeting others? I don't think Dumbledore would be overly pleased to hear about this."

"You don't even like Dumbledore."

"You don't like him for different reasons to me."

"Because he's a fucking queer."

"You're really hitting out with these slurs." Draco continued, stepping closer to Goyle, almost in his face at this point. Although Goyle was a bigger boy, he almost shrunk under Draco's glare, the venom in his voice. Although small, Draco was fucking intimidating, and Goyle looked near shit scared. "What else are you going to say at this point? I'm honestly waiting for you to spit out the N word at that Hazel girl, or dyke at Nico maybe? You'd be stupid enough to use the wrong slur." He was right in Goyle's face now, the other boy pushed against the wall, no room to speak up against Draco, or make a comment.

Goyle opened his mouth to continue, possibly spit another slur. But a smile crept across his face, a glint in his eye; "why do you care so much? Are you a queer?"

"What does it matter? At least I'm not a dickhead. Come on." Draco stepped back, turning. Grabbing the stunned Nico by his arm and leading him out of the common room. Silence between the two as they walked. Nico's ears ringing at the discussion that had just occurred. Draco's pale face, red. Hands shaking with what he guessed was anger.

"You didn't have to do that." Nico mumbled, once the pair had stopped. Draco shrugged in reply, hands scrunched into tight fists. "Thank you."

"He's a jerk. If he says shit about Hazel, tell me."

What is UP!

I'm trying and tired.

I have a massive exam in a fortnight

Ahhh

~ Georgia