A Holiday of Unexpected Surprises

(an Unexpected Christmas story)

by Snapegirlkmf & CJ Moliere

1

~ The Gingerbread Rebellion ~

A/N this takes place after Chills, Thrills, Tricks, and Treats, and we'll celebrate the holidays with the Golds, Hoppers, Charmings, Hatters, and Hoods and their friends. Hope you all like!

Gold's Victorian:

It was only four weeks till Christmas, and Rumple decided he'd better start baking all the various cookie doughs he'd made during November and frozen. He decided that day to make gingerbread men.

He defrosted the dough and started rolling them out and cutting several men. He decorated them with gumdrop eyes and piped white icing around the gingerbread body and put a mouth and a row of colorful M & M buttons down the men's front. He put little squiggles on the arms for cuffs.

Then he popped them into the oven to bake.

Soon the kitchen smelled heavenly, of sugar, spice, and mouthwatering gingerbread.

Rumple's mouth watered and he could hardly wait to eat one. He got himself a glass of milk and put it on the counter, ready to dunk a cookie in when they were cool.

He cleaned up while the cookies were baking, then slid the first batch out of the oven and onto the racks, and put the second in. All in all he had made three batches of cookies. He put some of the cooled cookies away for Christmas in colorful tins with reindeer, ornaments, and candy canes on them. He would give them as gifts to friends, family, and carolers who came to the door to sing the week before Christmas. Some he would take to his shop to leave out for customers to eat, for little children were always less cranky and inclined to touch things if they had a cookie to munch on.

The last batch of gingerbread men were cooling on the racks, their gumdrop eyes winking at him, when his little daughter walked into the kitchen.

"Papa, what you makin'?" she sniffed. "Mmm!"

"It smells good, doesn't it?" he chuckled. "I made some gingerbread men to eat. You can have one when they're cool with some milk."

Now Adriana had just watched Shrek on TV and when she saw the gingerbread men, she immediately associated them with the movie where Gingy was about to be eaten. Thinking these gingerbread men were like the one in the movie, she yelled, "NO! I ain't eating them!"

"Why?" Rumple asked, astonished. "They taste wonderful."

He brushed some flour off his green apron, which he wore over his white button down shirt and a pair of relaxed fit jeans.

"M'not gonna eat Gingy...you're MEAN! Papa, MEAN!"

"Adriana, everybody eats gingerbread men at Christmas, dearie! They're cookies, that's what you do-eat them!" Rumple tried to explain the tradition to her.

"NO IT'S NOT! You's killing them…that's murder an' ya could go to jail!"

"Dearie, I'm not murdering anybody! They're not alive, they're cookies, mo astor! See?" He picked up a cooling gingerbread man from the rack, dunked it into a glass of milk he had on the counter and took a bite. "Mmm!"

"YOU KILLED IT!"

Her mother's broom flew out of the closet and delivered a hard blow to her father's backside.

"Now, don't be a drama queen, dearie-OWW!" a shocked Rumple yelped.

Adriana waved her hands at the cookies and they all came to life. "You gots to go be free Gingies before he eats more of ya!"

"Adriana Isabelle Gold!" Rumple cried, regaining his equilibrium. "You stop this right now! You don't hit your papa!"

"You not 'sposta eat Gingy!" Adriana wailed and sent the broom after him again.

The gingerbread men starting jumping on the counters and grabbed items out of the cupboards and threw them across the room.

Rumple was forced to duck behind the chair in order to avoid another whack. He gestured and the broom was sent back into the closet. "Young lady, no setting that broom on me, I don't care what you don't like!"

Several others started taking dishes out and smashed them on the floor and threw the rest.

"What the HELL!" Bae cried, coming into the kitchen to get a cookie and almost getting brained in the head with a dish.

Another gingerbread man opened the refrigerator and tossed items out of it. A chocolate cake Rumple baked the day before flew at Bae.

The boy tried to move out of the way but the cake zoomed at him and hit him right in the face!

The gingerbread men started laughing and blew raspberries at him.

"My God! I've been cake bombed!" Bae cried, wiping cake off his face. "Papa, what is this-the gingerbread man rebellion?"

"He ATE a Gingy Bae, He ATE HIM!" Adriana screamed.

Bae gaped at his small sister. "Whoa! You caused all this . . .cause Papa ate a cookie?!" He ducked as a fork almost speared him in the thigh. "Rumplette, you're wrecking the kitchen, now knock it off!"

"Rumple, is everything all right in here...oh my God!" Belle cried at the disaster before her eyes.

Three of the gingerbreads escaped into the living room and crashes could be heard as they threw items at the Hoppers.

"What in the hell?" Archie exclaimed, using his umbrella to protect his wife and children from flying photo frames and DVDs out of the entertainment center.

"The cookies are possessed, Daddy!" Gisella screamed.

"Driana's reaallllly mad..." Jonny singsonged.

"This is NOT funny, John Wayne Hopper!" his father yelled.

"Archie, look out!" Marie yelped as the DVD of The Alamo soared towards his head.

"Dammit, I almost lost my head in The Alamo...Rumple, whatever the hell is going on in there will you please make it stop!" he shouted.

One of the gingerbread men snatched his umbrella out of his hands and smacked his backside with it.

"Why you little...when I get my hands on you I'm going to drown you in a chocolate milkshake!" Archie threatened and chased the cookie all over the living room.

Rumple stood up, angry now. "Adriana, STOP!" he shouted. Several forks, butterknives, and skewers flew at him, thrown by the gingerbread men. Luckily they all missed, impaling themselves into the wall behind him in a Rumple-shaped decoration.

"ENOUGH!" Rumple thundered, and suddenly all the gingerbread men went limp, the spell animating them cancelled by the elder sorcerer's greater magic.

"You killed them!" Adriana bawled.

"No, I dinna kill anything, dearie! They're cookies, meant to be baked and eaten. Now look at the mess ye've made o' my house! This is . . .a disaster!" Rumple scolded. "Is this how ye behave, Adriana Isabelle Gold? Throwin' a fit wi' yer magic an' hittin' me with a broom?"

Bae's mouth fell open. "She hit you with a broom, Papa?" Even he hadn't dared to do that when he was small, scamp that he was.

"Adriana! You do NOT hit your father!" scolded Belle.

"You 'served it!" Adriana yelled back giving him an angry Look. "Gingies are 'sposta be free not eaten. Cannibal!"

Rumple threw up his hands. "Never ye mind! Ye don't tell me what to eat an' not to eat in my own house. And ye dinna hit me, for any reason." He felt his stubborn daughter attempt to use her magic again, and he locked it down firmly.

"You don't havta eat Gingies!"

"An ye dinna have t' mess up my kitchen 'cause ye're havin'a tantrum!" Rumple snapped. "Somebody coulda gotten hurt-like ye're brother!" he pointed at Bae who still wore cake all over him. "Or yer uncle, or cousins! Those cookies came alive cause o' you, young lady an' they almost skewered me!" He pointed to the Rumple-shaped space outlined on the wall. "Is that what ye want? T' hurt yer papa?"

He made his countenance stern and forbidding, almost like the Dark One again. For this was the danger of magic awakening in children . . .this loss of control and emotions.

"I...just...didn't want ya ...to eat...no more Gingies..." she sobbed."I didn't wanna hurt you, Papa...m'sorry!"

Rumple felt his heart melt at his baby's sincere apology . . .and he took her in his arms and hugged her. But at the same time he knew there must be consequences for this tantrum . . .and very unpleasant ones at that. "Sorry's all well n'good, dearie, but all magic comes with a price an' so do yer actions. An' now ye're in serious trouble! Come wi' me." He picked her up and teleported with her to his office, his face a mask of disappointment and anger.

Bae winced. "Your butt's grass an' Papa's the lawn mower, Rumplette!" He knew full well what was going to happen, having been on the receiving end of that lecture and punishment many times.

In his office, Rumple locked the door and set his child down in front of him while he sat in his desk chair. He wore one of his Very Disappointed Looks.

"You gonna spank me..." she cried, covering her bottom.

Inwardly, Rumple cringed, but he forced himself to remain firm. Now was not the time to be soft. "Yes, I am. For three reasons." He held up three fingers. "Throwin' a tantrum with magic is never allowed here, dearie. You could have hurt me or someone else in this house." He put a finger down. "Two, you hit me with your mama's broom an' that you must never do, for whatever reason. No child should ever hit her parent." He put another finger down. "Three, ye made a huge mess outta the kitchen and the den, which ye'll be helpin' to clean afterwards." He put his last finger down. "And that, dearie, is why you'll be getting four swats, one for each year of your age and one for remembrance."

"I won't do it again...I promise...!"

"I hope not . . .for both our sakes," her father sighed. Gritting his teeth, he removed her hand from her bottom, saying, "I'm very disappointed in you, now remember this an' don't make me do it again, y' hear?"

Then he pulled her across his knees and gave her four firm spanks. He winced when she cried, feeling like a monster, even though he knew it was deserved.

"I won't," Adriana sobbed. "M'sorry Papa!"

Rumple cuddled her against his shoulder. "Yes, I know, and I'm sorry too that I had to do that. It hurts me more than you, dearie, now please learn your lesson, or else your behind's gonna regret it." He knew he hadn't spanked her terribly hard, just enough to sting for a short time, yet he hated doing so, and only used that punishment when his children had done something truly naughty.

"I won't do it again," she vowed.

"Dinna be like yer brother, lass," he warned. Then he kissed her forehead. "I love you, now be good."

"Love you too, Papa."

He sat with her for a few more moments, before saying, "Now let's go and help your mama clean up the big mess. An' no magic either, little imp."

"Okay..."

Then father and daughter left his study and entered the still wrecked kitchen. Bae and Marie were helping Belle clean up.

Archie and Gisella were working on cleaning up the mess in the den.

Belle saw Rumple standing there and looking rather saddened and she came and gave him a hug. He smiled at her and said, "Shouldn't you be doing that to our daughter?"

"You need a hug too. I know how you don't like punishing her that way. But you were right and now she knows better, so stop feeling guilty."

"I'll try, dearie. Now let me help clean some of this," he gestured and the items that had been stuck in the wall were put back into their proper drawers and the wall was fixed. "There! That's better! Reminded me of a dartboard, and I was the target."

"Thank goodness you didn't get hurt!" Belle said in relief.

"Yes, it's a good thing gingerbread cookies have terrible aim," he said, and summoned a mop and a broom to clean the floor near the counter where various syrups had been smeared all over.

"Cool, Uncle Rumple!" Jonny exclaimed, pointing at the self-cleaning mop. "It's like them mops in Fantasia with Mickey n' the magic hat!"

"You know, you're right," Rumple chuckled, and then he gestured and a second mop appeared and began cleaning.

Belle giggled, thinking that at times her husband could forget he was an adult and act very much like a mischievous child again . . .which was, she thought, a good thing, and one of the things she loved best about him. She supposed it was one reason why he was good with children.

Adriana clapped her hands and giggled too, sounding almost like her father. "Funny, Papa! Swish swish!"

Rumple half-knelt and pointed to the mops cleaning. "D'you see, dearie, how I use my magic to help clean the floor? That's what you need to do."

"Yeah, listen to Papa, Rumplette," Bae advised. "Or else you're gonna always be in trouble, like me."

Adriana shook her little head. "Nuh uh, Bae! I be good. No more spankings!"

"You're smart, Rumplette," Bae said. Unlike me, who's always been a trouble magnet, and always will be, he thought ruefully. But he was lucky, because his parents loved him anyway.

After kitchen and the den were sparkling clean, and the formerly animated gingerbread cookies thrown away, Rumple made simple gingerbread cookies, ones that were round and not like men. Some he put in Christmas tins for Christmas and the other half he had on a plate for everyone to eat.

The smell of gingerbread filled the house and all of his family ate the delicious cookies, and so ended the Gingerbread Rebellion, the first of the holiday mishaps.

A/N: If you're new to the Unexpected verse here is a list of the stories in it, reading them first might be a good idea, if you haven't done so already. :D Unexpected series-This Doesn't Have to Be Love, Unexpected Surprise, True Love Conquers All (Archie and Marie's story), Date Night, Bae's Babysitting Blues, Chills, Thrills, Tricks, and Treats. Please note only the first three are full length novels, the others are little one-shots. Happy reading and happy holidays! Please review, it's like getting presents for us!