Chapter 1: Awakening

Darkness. Plain old darkness accompanied by his ever so lasting companion, the coldness. Why had it suddenly dropped in temperature? It had been so warm and comforting before in that place. That place? What was it again? Never mind that. Air. She needed air, now more than anything. She felt a pressure all around her body, a thickness she couldn't exactly describe yet it appeared to have no particular consistence. As she tried to flail her arms around, her hand had suddenly come out of that thickness and as hard as she could, she began moving –with harsh difficulty – into the direction her hand had gone.

Soon enough, her head left the thickness too, her body still trapped behind. Her eyelids slowly opened but immediately shut close again as bright light stung into her pupils. She blinked a few times, adjusting her eyes to this foreign environment. Upon looking down she found what she remembered being called a lake, knowing it to hold a great amount of water. Wet. So that's why she felt so heavy. Her clothes had doubled their weight and the only thing on her mind now was escaping from there for fear of it dragging her down again.

Flailing her arms around like a butterfly caught in a net, she tried moving towards what she assumed was the bank of the said lake. Upon finally reaching it, she leaned her head to the bank of the lake, the water still glued to her clothes as if it wanted to bring her to the very depths of nothingness again. Nostalgia crept into her mind as she wondered why she suddenly felt so familiar with this place. Shaking those ominous thoughts away, she put her hands firmly on the dry ground with the intention on heaving her body out of the water which had since the beginning, been viewed as a fiend to her eyes.

However, as much as she had tried pulling her body out, her arms adamantly refused to draw any kind of effort for it to work, shaking like the last lone leafs on a tree branch in dire winter at every try. After a great amount of time spent for it to work, she was finally able to heave herself out of the water, falling onto her back to the ground. She felt every little rock on her bare back and while it could have been uncomfortable for any other person, for her, it had been the most comfortable place she could wish for at the moment.

Her chest rose and fell back at a leisurely pace as she took in her surroundings, eyes darting from tree to tree, only to realize that all seemed…lifeless. Even the lake which she got out from should have been filled up with beautiful azure colored water but instead it was a dark almost pitch black color. The trees, which she remembered being a vivid green, held up no leafs but were shining with layers of silver and grey colors. So foreign yet so familiar all the same.

Feeble rays of light peeked through the thick forest of lifeless trees, making the silver color shine like diamonds and it could have been a beautiful sight to stare at if she hadn't suddenly felt a familiar pain gnawing in her chest. It hurt yet it wasn't a pain someone had inflicted upon her but rather a pain of having hurt someone else. The pain grew stronger with each breath she took and something she remembered as being panic started to rise up. "Get it out, get it out!" She shouted in her mind, biting her lip as the pain intensified.

Soon, she fell back exhausted of having used her arms –which she hadn't realized she had moved in the first place. Holding up her hands, she saw a red liquid seeping from her extreme long nails and brought them to her lips. An odd taste it was, much like its smell. Looking back down to her fingernails again, apart from the rest of the blood, there had been tiny pieces of flesh tied to them. She unwillingly lifted her upper body to get a better look and as her eyes wandered to her chest, she noticed more blood seeping through claw marks specifically right above her left breast.

When had she done that? Maybe in her panicked state she had unconsciously hurt herself? No, she knew exactly why. There was just this something in her chest that had made her remember those feelings called hurt. Thump. Thump. Yes, it's doing it again. It's making a weird sound which she is even able to feel in her mind if she's silent. It's…thumping? It shouldn't, right? It's weird, right?

She searched her mind for an answer but nothing came up. There was still that fogginess which forbade her to look deeper into her memory. Answers which she knew she had in her but couldn't get to them because something was keeping her away from digging deeper.

However, one thing she knew for sure is, that thing in her chest should not be able to beat lively like this. It shouldn't, not anymore. She started to rub her nails above it again when she stopped, noticing that it would be futile to try to tear, whatever was in there, out like that.

Time passed and still there was nothing that came to mind about what she should do. She didn't even know where she was or where she could go. Her clothes felt uncomfortable on her skin and she held the edge of her dress, sliding it up, thinking of a way to get rid of it but figured she wouldn't have the strength for it anyway and quickly gave it up.

She reminisced about that bright and warm place she had been before and wondered if she could go back there but how? Her eyes caught sight of the dark ominous lake. "Should I go back in there?" She feebly shook her head. Bad idea, she could drown. Drown? So what if she drowned? What would happen? She couldn't exactly remember but knew that if it happened to her, she wouldn't be here anymore.

Her mind grew more and more confused as everything she wanted was simply a purpose. Where should she go and what should she do? Before she could confuse herself further, the bushes suddenly rustled and seen as there was no wind, it could only mean that there was something or someone else there.

She could feel her chest tightening as her eyes darted from left to right, her body shaking as she was about to confront the unknown. Her gaze went back to the lake and just as she was about to leap back into it, a figure suddenly emerged out of the bushes. It neared dangerously with confident yet a bit hesitant steps and she mustered all her strength into her arms, trying to distance herself by scrambling on the ground.

However, her attempts on fleeing from the stranger were futile seen as said stranger was much quicker on his legs. The shadow approached some more until stopping, crouching down and she was met with strikingly, beautiful, azure colored eyes. It made her remember the ocean, the rain, different lakes, the sky and many more things she thought she didn't know. They gazed into each other –with her still being on her guard, her eyes narrowed in suspicion as well as in fascination.

"Aerith…" His voice sounded soothing to her ears and she wished he hadn't stopped talking. "Aerith? What's that?" She tilted her head to the side, earning a ghost of a smile from the stranger. He brought up his hand and sensing danger, she twisted her body away, shaking her head wildly. A look of what could be called as hurt passed through his breathtaking eyes as she noticed that the blue contained something else which she couldn't quite describe.

"You… don't know who I am?" The pain still reflecting in his eyes, the man questioned, his voice which had sounded so soothing had suddenly dropped a note. She slowly started to hate that pain-filled look he gave her and simply pain in general since she'd been feeling it in her chest all along. She said nothing, simply glared back at him. She wouldn't be deceived by someone she knew nothing of.

His face suddenly hardened, his eyes giving nothing away yet one could still perceive a slight sparkle of that so familiar pain. He reached out his hand once again, enveloping it securely around her wrist. The face he made after laying his eyes upon her wound above her breast didn't surprise her the least. Pain painted all over his features as he failed to keep his face as unfazed as possible.

His grip on her wrist tightened as she tried to twist her body anew and out of his reach. She hammered her free right hand against his chest and he stopped her with his second hand, now enveloping it around her ball formed fist. His hand was much bigger than hers, his strength, one she couldn't compete against but she still tried to pull away as hard as she could.

All in vain of course, but she wasn't ready to give up so she attempted to shout. However, nothing came out of her mouth and she stilled at that. Was she mute? The stranger took her momentary pause to his advantage and quickly hoisted her body up on his shoulder before she could protest again.

It had taken her by surprise as she now saw the lake growing smaller in the distance, different shaped and lifeless silver trees passing by as the stranger took her away. She limply hung on his shoulder like a vulgar potato sack with no strength left to fight against her abductor –since she had used up all of her energy previously.

He suddenly stopped, putting her gently down something hard and cold. She didn't dare to try and flee since she knew that he could easily catch her again. She eagerly looked at the several details of the object she was sitting on before looking up at the stranger which had been staring at her still with that pained expression he seemed to wear at all times. It soon faded, leaving on his expressionless mask and the ghost of a smile which suited it perfectly. He slowly opened his mouth. "That's a motorbike."

Images flew through her mind and she had to shut her eyes to keep them from burning further while clutching her hands to her head. The pain stopped as something warm came down on her hands. Her eyes fluttered open, noticing he had put his hands on hers, a black thick and uncomfortable material preventing her to feel his flesh. "Would it feel any different, I wonder?"

Making sure she had calmed down, he went to sit behind her, his two legs hanging on each side of the motorbike as he gently put hers sideways above his left leg before cradling her head in his chest. "Hold on tight."

She did as she was told, grabbing onto the same rough material as that of his hands. The motorbike started with a strong purr and soon it began moving. She no longer felt scared of it; she had finally remembered what it was after only a few seconds of driving.

He drove at a leisure pace and stopping at every red traffic light he encountered –combing a hand through her hair at every stop as if making sure she was still there. It had been quite a distance and when he finally stopped his engine, it had already grown dark as several days had passed – with her being asleep for the most part of the voyage. She looked around and nothing seemed familiar. Everything was odd to her. Colorful lights and skyscrapers dominating most of the city, people laughing and talking as they went about their lives… There weren't that many people which only meant that it was already rather late. She took a minute to look around some more only to notice that the sky was devoid of stars, those shining white dots in the sky which she had observed during the travel and that seemed to entrance her were gone, leaving in its stead only a pitch dark and dull sky.

Feeling the stranger's gaze on her again, she looked up at him, noticing he had already left his seat on the motorbike. "So that's why I feel chilly." She needed the warmth which she could only assume to have disappeared with him and she threw her arms wide open, hoping he would give at least some of it back to her. He widened his eyes for a second, staring straight back at her with a bewildered look. She felt silly all of a sudden and brought back her arms to her side. He was still a stranger that much was for sure but why is it that she couldn't bring herself to hate him. "Hate? What an ugly word."

He seemed to finally come back to his senses, crouching down a little to cradle her back into his arms and lifting her off the motorbike. She felt the warmth coming back and sighed contently, leaning her head onto his chest. He was holding her differently than that other time where he had hoisted her above his shoulder and she liked this way better. The gentle rocking when he walked was soothing and if only he would talk like the first time she had met him it would be perfect. During their little journey of walking up stairs after stairs, the stranger finally stopped in front of a wooden door with intricate metal decorated edges and took out a stack of dangling keys after having safely put her back down, letting her lean against him since her legs were still weak.

The door opened, revealing a chic cream colored decorated room and he took her in his arms again, letting the door bang shut with help of one of his boots. More images of familiar rooms were playing in her head and she bit her lip at the upcoming pain. He noticed it and quickly deposited her on what seemed to be a modest double bed after bringing his hands above hers again. After a few seconds, the pain faded and she opened her eyes, only to find his ocean colored one's looking back at her. "Again with that pained look." She bit her lip. How she hated pain.

He sighed, looking confused, and she assumed he probably thought about what to do next. Oddly enough she felt comfortable, not wary of him at all –not anymore. He looked up at her from where he was crouching before mumbling a short "sorry". She tilted her head, not sure why he was apologizing when he hadn't done anything wrong. What could be called wrong anyway?

He had left his boots at the entrance and looking at her feet, she noticed that her shoes were missing. When had she lost them? Her eyes observed him as he stripped down his clothes. His jacket was since long gone, and he now pulled at his turtleneck shirt, leaving a bare muscular chest in full view. "Right, he is a man." It was odd how she remembered only now how different the two of them were. She looked down at herself and clearly, there were a bunch of things she had that he hadn't.

He rummaged through his closet, getting a pair of grey cotton track pants and a matching T-shirt which he immediately put on. He pulled at his pants but stopped as he felt her gaze on him. He looked conflicted, not sure if he should continue or hide from her gaze. Then, he turned around, his back facing her as he left his black pants for the grey ones. Once fully clad again, he crouched down in front of her, bringing a hand towards her face. He cupped her cheek and she leaned into his touch. Warm. Why did she need so much warmth?

He looked at her, then at her chest and up again. "Will you be able to take a bath alone?" He hesitantly asked, only receiving a confused tilt from her head. "Bath? What was it again?" She frowned, not sure if it was something she should have known essentially and as she looked at him for more details, she was faced with a very conflicted looking man. He was biting his lip as he nervously ran a hand through his blonde hair, his eyes darting from her chest to her face. After a little moment, he took a quick intake of fresh oxygen, his face reverting back to the expressionless mask –without the ghost of a smile this time.

With skilled hands, he slowly began to unbutton her dress from the front all the while mumbling words of apology. She sat still, feeling as if this is something he shouldn't be doing but at the same time, something that didn't seem wrong either.

As he finished unbuttoning her dress, she felt a chill run through her body and she shivered. She attempted to look at him, hoping he would notice her lack of warmth but stopped when she saw his eyes wavering as he looked at her stomach. She looked down where a long straight scar was formed. Now, how had she done that?

She heard him gulp audibly before finally tearing his eyes away from the scar, looking up at her with moist eyes as he strangled on his attempted words of apology. It took him some time to notice her shivering from the cold and he quickly rubbed his hands up and down her arms, giving her a little more warmth before he continued with his previous action.

After having made sure that she was at least a little bit more warmed, he proceeded into unclasping her bra, letting it fall into the ground almost immediately. She had noticed his fingers shaking but nothing could be read from his expression as he kept his head low. His fingers momentary lingered above the hem of her briefs as he sighed, looking up at her as if he was seeking a kind of permission on her part. She tilted her head again, not knowing what he could possibly want. He gave out another defeated sigh, pulling her briefs slowly out of the way.

She felt cold again, the straps of her dress still hanging on the edges of her shoulder. He held her up, avoiding looking at any other part of her body than her face. The dress fell to the floor as she was lifted in his arms again and towards another room.

Arrived at the pristine white tiled room, he gently put her down on what she finally remembered in being a toilet upon seeing it and looking around for another object, she found her mind remembering them too. He went to the bathtub, filling it up with water and while it was filling, he absentmindedly stared at the water level rising, and she assumed he must be avoiding looking at her when there was no need to.

The sound of gushing water stopped and she could feel how the room had slowly grown warmer but still not enough to stop her shivering. She anxiously waited for him to cradle her back into his arms which he didn't fail to do after a few more dipping of his fingers into the water to check the temperature. He cautiously laid her into the bath and the foam produced from the body soap instantly tickled her body at their contact but not in a bothersome way. Although she couldn't voice it out, she gave about weak giggles, making the blonde man bring up his ghost of a smile back.

He crouched next to her, crossing his arms on the edges of the bathtub propping his head on them as he watched her soundlessly giggling and playing with the foam. He let her do as she wished for a while before grabbing a sponge and proceeding to wash her body. She granted him access to every part of her body, watching him as he carefully dabbed at her wound and around her breasts. She noticed him clumsily brush his sponge over her breasts, freezing each time he felt her squirm at his touch. The sponge felt weird on that part of her body and she couldn't control the movement her body made at every touch.

He refused to look at her when she had tilted her head and during the whole process of cleaning, he mumbled sometimes more words of apology. He then lifted her right leg out of the water to have a better access and as he brushed the sponge around her feet, she felt her body squirming again, her soundless giggles jumping out of her throat. He looked at her with a smile, a different kind of smile she found herself drawn to.

As he finished cleaning both of her legs, he stood still, a conflicted expression on his features as he observed the half foam-filled tub. She tilted her head per usual when she grew confused then heard him audibly gulp as he turned his face to look at her, a look of determination in his azure eyes. He crouched half way down, reaching for her hand and making her grab the sponge all the while keeping a tight hold of her hand. The soft material of the sponge tickled on her hand's skin as his hand lead her further down her body to the last body part which still hadn't been touched. She only knew that place to be very intimate, even more than her breasts but found no complaint to give and something in her told her that it would be okay for him to touch –well indirectly that is, since he's only guiding her hand.

She felt her whole body convulse at the touch of the sponge on that part, and she bit her lip, her breathing growing unsteady wondering why she felt a certain kind of pain but no harm was done rather it felt actually good. The sponge circled delicately and through her half-closed eyes she peeked at his face. He was also biting his lip, eyes closed and his free hand turning white at the knuckles as it tightly grasped the edge of the bathtub. She noticed his brows deeply furrowed and wondered why she seemed to be the only one to actually enjoy this noticing his face showing a certain discomfort she remembered him wearing when he had undressed her.

After a moment, he stopped, placing the sponge on one corner of the bathtub before taking out a purple bottle. A blue liquid escaped from the lid he opened, falling into the palm of his hand. "Shampoo…" It hadn't taken her too long to figure what he would do with it since the next second, he gently rubbed his hands into her hair, massaging slowly and she closed her eyes in contentment. His touches felt relaxing and she leaned her head back to help him better in his task.

To her dismay, he soon retracted his fingers from her hair, pulling her up by her arm, her legs shaking as she stood –clearly not ready for walking any time soon. He took her in his arms again, her eyes wandering to the tub she had previously been laid in and wondering how the water had turned black when previously it had been nothing else than a pristine clear blue.

Before she could continue to think about it more deeply, she was on her feet again, standing into a four-walled object, her mind calling forth the name "shower". He had slid one wall to the side, his feet staying outside while he stretched his upper body inside, his arm reaching for the shower head. He checked the temperature of the seeping water before sprinkling it on her. The shampoo dissolving and she closed her eyes at the burn she felt coming from her wound on her chest.

After making sure she was completely devoid of any stains of dirt on her body, he helped her out, enveloping a warm and fluffy white bathrobe around her. Her fingers found their way on his shirt, grabbing onto it tightly as her legs continually shook as if her upper body carried too much weight for her legs to hold.

He dried off her hair with a towel, his movements rough but not hurtful, the same as with the hair dryer. Her hair was flying into every direction and she kept her eyes closed; only opening them to catch glimpses of her hair color. "Brown." Chestnut brown, slightly dark blonde highlights radiating from it at each streak of light it received. At the discovery of a new part of her body, she felt a deep curiosity building inside of her chest. She wanted to know more about her appearance, something more than her milky skin toned body and brown long wavy hair.

The noisy sound of the hair dryer finally died down and she tightened the hold she had on his shirt, looking up at him with a demanding look, hoping he could guess what she wanted. However, he shot her a confused look, giving no intention on suddenly showing his mind reading skills –which she had actually hoped he would have.

She turned her head to the side while sighing in disappointment. A certain glint caught her eyes, and turning her head to the side, she noticed the very object she had been looking for. "Mirror…"

She let her grip on his shirt go, slowly trying to walk into the mirror's direction but as soon as she did try to walk on her own, she felt her legs buckling, unable to keep her steady thus, making her fall. A strong pair of arms caught her in time, helping her to move into her desired direction, the blonde man seeming to get what she had wanted to do.

The first thing she noticed was bright beautiful green orbs looking back at her. Her fingers slowly crept on her face, checking jaw, lips, cheek, nose, eyebrows and forehead as if to make sure it all belonged to her. His bright blue eyes observed her gestures, the ghost of a smile drawn on his lips as he gently patted her on her head, fingers caressing strands of hair now and then. She watched him for a while, wondering why his so gentle and half hidden smile didn't match his pain-filled eyes. "Pain again. Is that the only thing we can feel?"

She was soon finished with the mirror gazing and he lifted her up in his arms again to make her sit down on the bed. While she played with the woolen belt of her bathrobe, she heard him fumbling in his wardrobe. He came back with a pair of beige track pants and a black T-shirt, putting it gently on the bed right beside her.

"You watched me dress myself earlier, so will you be able to do it yourself?" He got answered with the same tilt of her head as her eyebrows furrowed, trying to remember what he was talking about. She surely remembered having watched him in particular and not the way he put on his clothes and she looked up to him, an unsure expression on her face.

He sighed –definitely not out of annoyance but rather out of discomfort – as he looked down at her pink tattered and dirty dress and discarded undergarments with a frown, mumbled words coming out of his lips again. "We'll have to get you new clothes too but for the meantime…" He took her hand to help her up, peeling the fluffy bathrobe off of her all the while keeping his eyes on hers. He reached for a short black fabric which she had seen a similar one on him earlier. He noticed her questioning look and brought his trademark ghost of a smile up at his next whispered words. "I know this is men's underwear and they might be a bit loose but bear with it for now." His voice was gentle yet it missed that soothing note he had when he had uttered that name "Aerith". She still didn't know what it meant and even if she would inquire about it, she didn't know how.

She had been so caught up in her thoughts that she didn't notice the black material already hanging a bit loosely on her hips. He helped her put up the rest of the clothes in which she could feel herself swimming.

He let her sit on the bed again as his eyes darted to the desk clock on the nightstand showing the green neon colored numbers: 1:00 a.m. on its screen. He stared a little longer at the clock before finally walking out of the bedroom after having told her to wait for a bit.

She looked around the room as she waited, wondering what he could be doing while suppressing the urge to look for him when something in her chest told her that his absence was paining her. After what felt like hours, he finally came back with a tray in his hand, a ravishing scent evaporating from the objects on the tray. She suddenly felt a kind of crave, her mind alerting her that food was what she needed. He sat down, depositing the tray between them as her eyes followed his every movement, widening at the sight of the delicious food she was presented with. Familiar images of foods flew in her mind, strangely no hurt coming with them this time and she looked up at him, waiting for permission to dig in.

He nodded as he spoke out gently, "If you don't remember how, just look at me." She tilted her head at his words, watching him taking a three-pointed tool in his hand as he guided it into the food and up to his mouth. Her hand naturally found the second "fork", remembering his gesture and doing the same. Warmth spread through her tongue as she tasted the so familiar chicken meat and she felt her stomach ask for more. She repeated the process while she watched him doing the same only stopping when the plate was emptied.

He left the room again with tray in hand and she let herself fall backwards into the soft satin sheets. She found it to be better than the ground she had previously lied onto, even better than the foam-filled bathtub. The sheets brought her more of that warmth she'd been craving to have back yet it wasn't all that. While being on his arms, she found a kind of warmth which she couldn't seem to find somewhere else but even then there was more missing. With time, the desire to be filled up with warmth was intensifying, especially that warmth she felt when she had been over there but she figured it might also very well come from the fact that the clothes she was wearing weren't all that warm.

Her thoughts were once again interrupted by the thud the door gave upon closing. He walked up to her, gently pushing her shoulders back down when she had tried to sit up, helping her under the sheets.

"Time to sleep, tomorrow you'll surely have more energy to spend. Good night." He was about to walk away again but her grip on the hem of his shirt made him stop in his tracks. His questioning eyes found hers, catching on the fact that she wouldn't let go unless he stayed with her so much her grip was strong and her eyes firm.

"Alright, I won't go anywhere." He reassured her, moving to the other side of the bed as soon as her grip on him had vanished. He got under the sheets turning his body to the side to face her. She stretched out her arms towards him, his eyes widening at her gesture. Silence enveloped them as he continuously seemed to hesitate, but the craving for warmth soon took over her and she glided to him. She wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his chest and she felt his body growing rigid.

Still, the warmth she got wasn't enough and she looked up at him, their faces mere inches from one another while his breath tickled her nose. She noticed his face containing that kind of pain she was met with at their first meeting, his lip quivering as if he wanted to talk but couldn't for fear of having his lips sewn forever were he to talk.

She was about to tilt her head to the side but was stopped when strong yet trembling arms enveloped her frail frame, drawing her closer to him. Her face was met, with incredible force, with the soft cotton fabric of the T-shirt, his arms crushing her entire being as her chest tightened with pain. This should have been enjoyable so why was she feeling pain instead of that warmth she desired so much to have?

She heard him make muffled noises coming from his face which he had buried in her hair while his body shook with each muffled sound he gave out. It was settled, she wasn't enjoying it at all and she blamed the pain for that. After a while, he finally stopped, a rhythmic breathing settling as his chest leisurely rose up and down, his tight destructive hold on her loosening. He had fallen asleep.

She was still wide awake, settling her arms around his waist for a better position as she laid her head on his chest. Thump. Thump. Her eyes that had been half-closed suddenly shot wide open. "He has one too?"

Somehow, she felt him having one too was a complete normal thing while hers, whatever it might be, it shouldn't be beating like that. She knows it. She might repeat it again and again but it shouldn't neither beat nor exist for some reason. Despite the fact that she hated how much she despised the sound of that thing in her chest, his however, was different. She closed her eyes, listening to the soft thumping it gave under his chest.

As she was about to fall asleep, her mind sent her a last wave of flashing memory: the noises he had made before falling asleep, those were made by his crying.


A/N: So this is my first work which goes into a sort of an angsty direction so excuse me if it'll turn a little too dark sometimes. I'm still kind of a novice when it concerns angsty genres and there might still be little grammar mistakes which I probably didn't notice here and there. Anyway, hope you liked it people~ See you in next chapter: Chapter 2: Calling Names