Before getting on with the story, I would like to thank absolutely everyone
who has been supporting this fic, you've all been great and you've
tolerated the little glitches that have sneaked their way into my grammar
because of my lack of a beta reader too :) I also have to warn you that
this is the final chapter, the epilogue actually, which I hope will answer
all of your question, if not feel free to e-mail me and I'll be happy to
answer any of your quarries. I'm looking forward to reading any last
thoughts or comments regarding the story on the review column. Again, thank
you and now, let's move on:
Epilogue
The one and only
He walked in the darkness, heading for the Sunnydale High. As he went on, he was suddenly overcome by all the memories the places he passed by held. All the fights, all the kisses, all the bickering, love, friendship, death, hell, hope, rebirth, becoming a part of the world again after decades lived in utter despair and darkness. The innocent and shy Willow Rosenburg barely managing to say two words in front of him in the beginning, the always jealous and suspicious Xander Harris, the cheerleader queen, overconfident, Cordelia Chase who could crush anyone under the heel of her shoe, the stuffy British librarian with his own unique sense of humor, Rupert Giles, the silent werewolf with a good heart, Oz, the little mischievous 10 year old Dawn Summers, even the always cocky Spike in his wheelchair and the crazy vampire Drusilla, though he'd never admit it. And of course the small blond slayer, Buffy Summers.
He suddenly stopped, wondering where he was going. It took him a minute to break out of the hold the memories had put on him. He was going to the Sunnydale Highschool to see Cordy. She had told him sometime during the day that she was going to check out the highschool with Connor later that night and that he was welcomed to come along. An invitation he had accepted to Connor's annoyance. But by who's fault he didn't know, he had missed their departure and now walked alone in the darkness in their pursuit.
"This time, I really think I found something," Cordy had told him enthusiastically. And if she was really going to remember everything again or at least get a few stray memories back, he wanted to be there.
At the Sunnydale High, Connor and Cordelia walked down the corridors. The school was empty, no one seemed to haunt its hallways on this particular night, only eerie sounds seemed to call out to Connor from beneath the building, but he brushed them off, not listening to them. They walked and walked, went into every classroom, every little room, searched every corner, but Cordelia's memories did not surface. She was disappointed. She had hoped so much that that day would be the day she finally remembered. But apparently it was not.
"Let's go home, it's pointless. Just like everything else I've tried," she told Connor in a heartbreaking voice and the boy wanted to do anything possible to make her happy again. But he knew it didn't stand in his power. "I really thought that coming back here, to Sunnydale, I'll find something, just the smallest most insignificant thing I could remember, but now, I'm here and nadda, zilch," she paused. Connor didn't know what to say to her. "Let's just go."
As they started walking towards the exit, between the rows of lockers, a voice called out to her:
"Hey, Cordy!" She turned towards the origin of that voice. It was a girl with blond hair, wearing a colorful outfit. Cordy didn't know who she was, but she seemed...familiar. She stared at the blond girl and Connor seeing this, looked in the same direction, but saw nothing.
"What is it?" Connor asked, while another voice answered the blond girl's call:
"Coming! So what are you wearing to the dance tonight?" a girl with long brown hair passed right by Cordy and headed for the blond girl.
"Well, I was thinking about that really cute blue outfit I have. You know the one..." the blond girl began talking to the brown haired girl as they headed down the hallway in the other direction from Cordy and Connor. For a brief moment the brown haired girl turned around and looked at them. Cordelia was shocked to see herself staring back. Then suddenly, she remembered.
"The spring dance," she recalled what the two had been talking about. "Harmony's gonna wear that blue outfit and that idiot Gerald Pratt is gonna dump punch on it and that stain will never come out," she let out in a great sigh of relief as all her memories started tumbling back inside her mind. "That's where my locker used to be in the old school," she pointed towards a locker. "And that's where Xander's was. And that," she pointed towards a door leading to a broom closet. "That's where we used to make out before everyone found out about us! I remember, Connor, I remember!" she started laughing and in the excitement of the moment she hugged Connor and then kissed him. But the kiss turned into something more deep and meaningful and it was this that Angel saw from the shadows. He watched them for a moment before turning on his heels and leaving.
At the "Welcome to Sunnydale" sign, a father was getting ready to say goodbye to his daughter. Standing beside a beaten old truck with windows painted in black, Spike watched the city of Sunnydale spreading in the horizon. Joy was standing a few feet away from him leaned on the sign with her mantle hanging over her shoulders, looking at the ground.
"You should get going. It'll be light soon," Joy broke the silence and looked up at him.
"I guess I should. I'm just...I don't bloody know what I'm doing that's what it is," he said turning away from the view of the city.
"You're waiting for her. Hoping she'll show up and just say 'to hell with the world, take me with you and let's leave this place behind'," she smiled.
"That'll never happen," Spike smirked. "She isn't that kind of girl."
"The kind that shoves responsibilities aside? Of course she's not, dad," Joy approached him. "That's why you love her so much. She's a fighter that one."
"Yeah, she is. So are you going to leave after I..." Spike started.
"I think I'll stick around for the sunrise, then leave," Joy interrupted him with the answer to his question. "Now, what did I ask you not to forget?"
"That whatever happens I do whatever it takes to get Willow to New Orleans five years from now on august 21," Spike repeated the words she had told him.
"Good. Now, give your girl a hug and get out of town," Joy smiled and hugged her dad.
"I'm gonna miss you, luv," Spike whispered over her shoulder.
"I will too, dad," she closed her eyes for a moment in his embrace and she realized that no matter the price, he was worth saving. Pulling away from him she looked for something in her pocket. She found the photo she had been looking for and handed it to him. "Here, so you can remember me. Us. Everything that could have been."
Spike looked at the picture amazed, it seemed surreal, like a dream imprinted on paper, a memory of a time that was, but hasn't been yet and will never be.
"I can't take this," he said as if she had just offered him the most expensive gift in the world. He extended it towards her.
"Keep it, it won't do me much good. Jacques found a way to keep it as a memory of our time so it won't change with the world. It'll stay the same. A good memory, for you," she smiled and Spike was speechless. He looked down at the picture another time before carefully placing it in one of the pockets of his coat. "Goodbye, father."
"Goodbye, sweet girl," he smiled and opened the door of the truck. He started the engine and then looking at Joy through the opened side window, he told her: "If you'll be suspended in time like you said and you get a chance, you visit your old man."
"I will," Joy smiled, while the truck pulled away and started down the road leading far away from Sunnydale. Joy watched as the truck disappeared in the horizon and waved a last goodbye to her father and then turned away. She headed for the graveyard. She thought it was a good place to see her last sunrise.
Buffy looked through all of Sunnydale for Spike, but she didn't find him. She only found out from a demon that he had bought a truck and said he was leaving for good. She even walked all the way to the outskirts of Sunnydale, but again, no luck, as Spike, though he *had* been there, was gone for a while now. Deciding her search was hopeless she returned to the graveyard, where, unknown to her, Joy awaited her last sunrise. Spotting the slayer among the graves, Joy hid behind a crypt, observing her.
As Buffy stood there, feeling abandoned, but somehow at peace with that feeling, she felt a presence behind her.
"It's going to be light soon," Angel said in a gentle voice, remembering the last time he had been there with her.
"Can you stay in town, as long as I want you?" a weak smile crossed her lips as she turned towards him.
"How's forever? Does forever work for you?" he smiled back. Buffy sighed.
"Do you feel that every relationship we have is doomed?" she asked him stepping at his side.
"Maybe destiny's giving us a hint," Angel suggested. There was a moment of silence after which Angel and Buffy said at the same time:
"I can't leave Sunnydale/I can't leave LA."
They stared at each other for a moment and then they both started laughing.
"Think we can ever work around everything?" Buffy asked.
"Why not? We've got eternity in front of us," Angel answered as they started walking out of the graveyard.
"So tell me the truth about Joy. Who was she? Cause she definitely wasn't who she said she was," she finally asked as she let her hand slip in Angel's.
"I have no idea," Angel lied.
"You know I heard about this shaman who can restore souls..." Joy heard her say as they disappeared out of the graveyard and her life.
Soon after, the sun rose over the horizon, warm, welcoming, cheerful, lighting the land and making even the saddest place, like a graveyard, seem beautiful in its own unique way. Joy sat herself down next to a crypt leaning her back on its wall as she watched the sun rise just a little bit higher.
"Everythin's okay now, chere," Jacques told her appearing out of nowhere.
"It is?" she asked and she seemed to her friend much weaker than he knew her to be. "Tell me of the new world, Jacques..." she requested and to her surprise Jacques sat down next to her and took her hand in his two.
"I had to be here for you' last moments," he said and she smiled and let her head fall on his shoulder. "There's a new Joy, you know. Buffy and Angel's pride and joy. Pretty, just like you. She got your eyes, but her hair...pitch black. I couldn't call her Joy."
"What do you call her then?" Joy asked.
"I call her Angie, short for Angel, that's wha' I called her when we were small - little angel," he smiled.
"Are they okay? Mom and dad?"
"You' dad's fine. I've seen him a coupla times. He came visitin' after Angie was born. He seems to remember you just fine. Always looked at me strangely. He doesn't know if I remember. I'll have to tell him one day. And your mom...she's great. Angel turned human. Yeah, it happened a few years after Angie came into the world. They're beautiful together, the kinda people you'd see growin' old together, ya know?" Joy smiled.
"And your mom? She okay? And Remy?" she continued to ask.
"Oh, they're fine, wouldn't you know it that if momma hadn't published that big bad book about Fred she'd find somethin' else to make money outta," he chuckled. "Somethin' about what she found in that vulcano in the Amazon. Sold like hotcakes."
"LA wasn't destroyed?" Joy opened her eyes to look questioningly at him.
"Oh, it was destroyed, but it only took a handful of people with it. Wesley kept a promise, that's what Fred told me. Somethin' about a girl with white hair...Remember where that big ol' monument used to be?" Joy nodded. "That's Wesley's now."
"He died," she realized.
"He died savin' the world," he pointed out.
"And the rest? Are they alive? Fred, Gunn, Connor, Cordelia, Celeste?" she closed her eyes again.
"Yeah. Fred isn't all that bad once you get to know her. She and Gunn are still in LA runnin' a demon huntin' business. And get this, Dawn and Xander work with them."
"Xander? Anya didn't die?" she assumed.
"No, she did, but he found the strength to continue fightin' cause of Fred. She had been through the same tragedy and she hadn't let herself fall, she had become even stronger."
"And Dawn?" she let her hand fall limp in his.
"She still a little grim, now and then, but she made it," he smiled.
"Is Liam alive?" she asked after a pause.
"He is. And you wouldn't believe how much he smiles! He's happy now," he was silent for a moment. "But sometimes, he told me, it's like a part of his soul has gone missin' somewhere, in time. And he's sad cause he knows he'll never get it back. And other times, he dreams of a girl with white hair and green eyes," he paused before continuing on a lighter tone: "And that sister of his! What a woman! He wasn't lyin' when he said she was somethin' special. I just hope she's not a heartbreaker," he laughed softly and looked down at Joy. She had fallen asleep with her head on his shoulder and her hand in his. He smiled and brushed away a few strands of hair from her face. "If you think I'm just gonna' let you disappear, chere, you got another thing comin'," he whispered and kissed her on the forehead before they both disappeared under the rays of the morning sun.
Far away, a bag melted in Connor's pocket and on the ground of the graveyard next to a random crypt, colorful shards of glass shined under the rays of the sun, remains of an amulet used to do great magic, to undo a future, to bind and unbind ties between people. A future that became a shadow creeping over the present and the dreams of many.
When the sun will shine
I won't be there to see your face
But when the moon will rise
I will be there for your embrace
From dusk till dawn
I will be watching over you
A haunted soul, a hidden face
A shadow that will always follow
Hoping, begging, for one moment without sorrow.
The day you were born,
The universe stopped
My tears fell, my soul cried,
The world changed.
I felt alive,
Yet dead.
The End
Epilogue
The one and only
He walked in the darkness, heading for the Sunnydale High. As he went on, he was suddenly overcome by all the memories the places he passed by held. All the fights, all the kisses, all the bickering, love, friendship, death, hell, hope, rebirth, becoming a part of the world again after decades lived in utter despair and darkness. The innocent and shy Willow Rosenburg barely managing to say two words in front of him in the beginning, the always jealous and suspicious Xander Harris, the cheerleader queen, overconfident, Cordelia Chase who could crush anyone under the heel of her shoe, the stuffy British librarian with his own unique sense of humor, Rupert Giles, the silent werewolf with a good heart, Oz, the little mischievous 10 year old Dawn Summers, even the always cocky Spike in his wheelchair and the crazy vampire Drusilla, though he'd never admit it. And of course the small blond slayer, Buffy Summers.
He suddenly stopped, wondering where he was going. It took him a minute to break out of the hold the memories had put on him. He was going to the Sunnydale Highschool to see Cordy. She had told him sometime during the day that she was going to check out the highschool with Connor later that night and that he was welcomed to come along. An invitation he had accepted to Connor's annoyance. But by who's fault he didn't know, he had missed their departure and now walked alone in the darkness in their pursuit.
"This time, I really think I found something," Cordy had told him enthusiastically. And if she was really going to remember everything again or at least get a few stray memories back, he wanted to be there.
At the Sunnydale High, Connor and Cordelia walked down the corridors. The school was empty, no one seemed to haunt its hallways on this particular night, only eerie sounds seemed to call out to Connor from beneath the building, but he brushed them off, not listening to them. They walked and walked, went into every classroom, every little room, searched every corner, but Cordelia's memories did not surface. She was disappointed. She had hoped so much that that day would be the day she finally remembered. But apparently it was not.
"Let's go home, it's pointless. Just like everything else I've tried," she told Connor in a heartbreaking voice and the boy wanted to do anything possible to make her happy again. But he knew it didn't stand in his power. "I really thought that coming back here, to Sunnydale, I'll find something, just the smallest most insignificant thing I could remember, but now, I'm here and nadda, zilch," she paused. Connor didn't know what to say to her. "Let's just go."
As they started walking towards the exit, between the rows of lockers, a voice called out to her:
"Hey, Cordy!" She turned towards the origin of that voice. It was a girl with blond hair, wearing a colorful outfit. Cordy didn't know who she was, but she seemed...familiar. She stared at the blond girl and Connor seeing this, looked in the same direction, but saw nothing.
"What is it?" Connor asked, while another voice answered the blond girl's call:
"Coming! So what are you wearing to the dance tonight?" a girl with long brown hair passed right by Cordy and headed for the blond girl.
"Well, I was thinking about that really cute blue outfit I have. You know the one..." the blond girl began talking to the brown haired girl as they headed down the hallway in the other direction from Cordy and Connor. For a brief moment the brown haired girl turned around and looked at them. Cordelia was shocked to see herself staring back. Then suddenly, she remembered.
"The spring dance," she recalled what the two had been talking about. "Harmony's gonna wear that blue outfit and that idiot Gerald Pratt is gonna dump punch on it and that stain will never come out," she let out in a great sigh of relief as all her memories started tumbling back inside her mind. "That's where my locker used to be in the old school," she pointed towards a locker. "And that's where Xander's was. And that," she pointed towards a door leading to a broom closet. "That's where we used to make out before everyone found out about us! I remember, Connor, I remember!" she started laughing and in the excitement of the moment she hugged Connor and then kissed him. But the kiss turned into something more deep and meaningful and it was this that Angel saw from the shadows. He watched them for a moment before turning on his heels and leaving.
At the "Welcome to Sunnydale" sign, a father was getting ready to say goodbye to his daughter. Standing beside a beaten old truck with windows painted in black, Spike watched the city of Sunnydale spreading in the horizon. Joy was standing a few feet away from him leaned on the sign with her mantle hanging over her shoulders, looking at the ground.
"You should get going. It'll be light soon," Joy broke the silence and looked up at him.
"I guess I should. I'm just...I don't bloody know what I'm doing that's what it is," he said turning away from the view of the city.
"You're waiting for her. Hoping she'll show up and just say 'to hell with the world, take me with you and let's leave this place behind'," she smiled.
"That'll never happen," Spike smirked. "She isn't that kind of girl."
"The kind that shoves responsibilities aside? Of course she's not, dad," Joy approached him. "That's why you love her so much. She's a fighter that one."
"Yeah, she is. So are you going to leave after I..." Spike started.
"I think I'll stick around for the sunrise, then leave," Joy interrupted him with the answer to his question. "Now, what did I ask you not to forget?"
"That whatever happens I do whatever it takes to get Willow to New Orleans five years from now on august 21," Spike repeated the words she had told him.
"Good. Now, give your girl a hug and get out of town," Joy smiled and hugged her dad.
"I'm gonna miss you, luv," Spike whispered over her shoulder.
"I will too, dad," she closed her eyes for a moment in his embrace and she realized that no matter the price, he was worth saving. Pulling away from him she looked for something in her pocket. She found the photo she had been looking for and handed it to him. "Here, so you can remember me. Us. Everything that could have been."
Spike looked at the picture amazed, it seemed surreal, like a dream imprinted on paper, a memory of a time that was, but hasn't been yet and will never be.
"I can't take this," he said as if she had just offered him the most expensive gift in the world. He extended it towards her.
"Keep it, it won't do me much good. Jacques found a way to keep it as a memory of our time so it won't change with the world. It'll stay the same. A good memory, for you," she smiled and Spike was speechless. He looked down at the picture another time before carefully placing it in one of the pockets of his coat. "Goodbye, father."
"Goodbye, sweet girl," he smiled and opened the door of the truck. He started the engine and then looking at Joy through the opened side window, he told her: "If you'll be suspended in time like you said and you get a chance, you visit your old man."
"I will," Joy smiled, while the truck pulled away and started down the road leading far away from Sunnydale. Joy watched as the truck disappeared in the horizon and waved a last goodbye to her father and then turned away. She headed for the graveyard. She thought it was a good place to see her last sunrise.
Buffy looked through all of Sunnydale for Spike, but she didn't find him. She only found out from a demon that he had bought a truck and said he was leaving for good. She even walked all the way to the outskirts of Sunnydale, but again, no luck, as Spike, though he *had* been there, was gone for a while now. Deciding her search was hopeless she returned to the graveyard, where, unknown to her, Joy awaited her last sunrise. Spotting the slayer among the graves, Joy hid behind a crypt, observing her.
As Buffy stood there, feeling abandoned, but somehow at peace with that feeling, she felt a presence behind her.
"It's going to be light soon," Angel said in a gentle voice, remembering the last time he had been there with her.
"Can you stay in town, as long as I want you?" a weak smile crossed her lips as she turned towards him.
"How's forever? Does forever work for you?" he smiled back. Buffy sighed.
"Do you feel that every relationship we have is doomed?" she asked him stepping at his side.
"Maybe destiny's giving us a hint," Angel suggested. There was a moment of silence after which Angel and Buffy said at the same time:
"I can't leave Sunnydale/I can't leave LA."
They stared at each other for a moment and then they both started laughing.
"Think we can ever work around everything?" Buffy asked.
"Why not? We've got eternity in front of us," Angel answered as they started walking out of the graveyard.
"So tell me the truth about Joy. Who was she? Cause she definitely wasn't who she said she was," she finally asked as she let her hand slip in Angel's.
"I have no idea," Angel lied.
"You know I heard about this shaman who can restore souls..." Joy heard her say as they disappeared out of the graveyard and her life.
Soon after, the sun rose over the horizon, warm, welcoming, cheerful, lighting the land and making even the saddest place, like a graveyard, seem beautiful in its own unique way. Joy sat herself down next to a crypt leaning her back on its wall as she watched the sun rise just a little bit higher.
"Everythin's okay now, chere," Jacques told her appearing out of nowhere.
"It is?" she asked and she seemed to her friend much weaker than he knew her to be. "Tell me of the new world, Jacques..." she requested and to her surprise Jacques sat down next to her and took her hand in his two.
"I had to be here for you' last moments," he said and she smiled and let her head fall on his shoulder. "There's a new Joy, you know. Buffy and Angel's pride and joy. Pretty, just like you. She got your eyes, but her hair...pitch black. I couldn't call her Joy."
"What do you call her then?" Joy asked.
"I call her Angie, short for Angel, that's wha' I called her when we were small - little angel," he smiled.
"Are they okay? Mom and dad?"
"You' dad's fine. I've seen him a coupla times. He came visitin' after Angie was born. He seems to remember you just fine. Always looked at me strangely. He doesn't know if I remember. I'll have to tell him one day. And your mom...she's great. Angel turned human. Yeah, it happened a few years after Angie came into the world. They're beautiful together, the kinda people you'd see growin' old together, ya know?" Joy smiled.
"And your mom? She okay? And Remy?" she continued to ask.
"Oh, they're fine, wouldn't you know it that if momma hadn't published that big bad book about Fred she'd find somethin' else to make money outta," he chuckled. "Somethin' about what she found in that vulcano in the Amazon. Sold like hotcakes."
"LA wasn't destroyed?" Joy opened her eyes to look questioningly at him.
"Oh, it was destroyed, but it only took a handful of people with it. Wesley kept a promise, that's what Fred told me. Somethin' about a girl with white hair...Remember where that big ol' monument used to be?" Joy nodded. "That's Wesley's now."
"He died," she realized.
"He died savin' the world," he pointed out.
"And the rest? Are they alive? Fred, Gunn, Connor, Cordelia, Celeste?" she closed her eyes again.
"Yeah. Fred isn't all that bad once you get to know her. She and Gunn are still in LA runnin' a demon huntin' business. And get this, Dawn and Xander work with them."
"Xander? Anya didn't die?" she assumed.
"No, she did, but he found the strength to continue fightin' cause of Fred. She had been through the same tragedy and she hadn't let herself fall, she had become even stronger."
"And Dawn?" she let her hand fall limp in his.
"She still a little grim, now and then, but she made it," he smiled.
"Is Liam alive?" she asked after a pause.
"He is. And you wouldn't believe how much he smiles! He's happy now," he was silent for a moment. "But sometimes, he told me, it's like a part of his soul has gone missin' somewhere, in time. And he's sad cause he knows he'll never get it back. And other times, he dreams of a girl with white hair and green eyes," he paused before continuing on a lighter tone: "And that sister of his! What a woman! He wasn't lyin' when he said she was somethin' special. I just hope she's not a heartbreaker," he laughed softly and looked down at Joy. She had fallen asleep with her head on his shoulder and her hand in his. He smiled and brushed away a few strands of hair from her face. "If you think I'm just gonna' let you disappear, chere, you got another thing comin'," he whispered and kissed her on the forehead before they both disappeared under the rays of the morning sun.
Far away, a bag melted in Connor's pocket and on the ground of the graveyard next to a random crypt, colorful shards of glass shined under the rays of the sun, remains of an amulet used to do great magic, to undo a future, to bind and unbind ties between people. A future that became a shadow creeping over the present and the dreams of many.
When the sun will shine
I won't be there to see your face
But when the moon will rise
I will be there for your embrace
From dusk till dawn
I will be watching over you
A haunted soul, a hidden face
A shadow that will always follow
Hoping, begging, for one moment without sorrow.
The day you were born,
The universe stopped
My tears fell, my soul cried,
The world changed.
I felt alive,
Yet dead.
The End