A/N:

Hello everyone! I just wanted to leave a small note here to give a big thank you to Bamcn24 for helping me out on this. She took the time to give me great feedback, and helped make this story even better. So make sure to give her lots of thanks, too. I'm probably going to keep my A/N's to a minimum throughout this story so I don't have to go back and edit them all out (it's a pain!), so I want to say a big THANK YOU in advance for reading this story, and any reviews you guys will leave. I love every single one of them.

And with that, I'm going to go ahead and start you off with three chapters. Happy reading!

Today starts the same as any other day. Breakfast: plain toast and half a grapefruit, followed by cleaning the dishes and being dismissed to my room. But this is where the similarities end. Normally I would head to school or out to volunteer with the Factionless, but today, I must reflect. I must think about my choice, and I must not waver in my decision, for there is no second chance.

My aptitude test did nothing to quell the gnawing fear I've had growing in my gut for the past few months. In fact, it made things much, much worse. Instead of telling me exactly who I am, the machine told me it didn't have a clue either. I sigh as I sit down on my bed and stare out the window. In the distance I can see the familiar prongs shooting into the air and I wonder if there are others out there like me, others who are just as scared and confused as I am. There must be; I can't stand the thought of being the only one. I've never been one for jealousy but today, I envy those out there who have no doubts; those that know where they belong.

A soft knock on my door brings me out of my haze.
"Yes?" I call out.
"Ten minutes until we leave," my mother says.
"Okay."

I am no closer to a decision than I was ten minutes ago, and I'm certain I'll be in the same predicament in ten more.

The bus ride is long, as usual. I'm not sure which part is worse, being jostled around painfully as the bus finds every bump and hole in the road, or having to give up my seat to a Candor girl and her boyfriend. She sits on his lap, and as hard as I try not to, I keep glancing up as she kisses him. I can feel the warmth on my cheeks and the back of my neck -this type of behavior is frowned upon in our faction after all- but I'm sixteen and curious as to how love works in the other factions.

I tilt my head to the side to get a better view. I'm having a hard time deciding where her face ends and where his begins, when I feel a sharp pain in my side. I glance to my left quickly and see my brother, Caleb, staring with wide eyes at me. I look to my parents who are standing on the other side of him, but they are distracted with a quiet conversation between just the two of them. I shrug slightly and mouth a quick sorry before turning my attention to the bus floor, and keeping it there.

When we arrive at the Hub, I, along with the rest of the Abnegation, wait patiently for the others to exit the bus first. We gather at the doors and hold them open for any other faction member entering, before regrouping in the lobby to make the long march up the stairs. I am out of breath and breaking a sweat in this summer heat, but like the others around me, I keep my discomfort to myself and continue on in silence. After twenty flights, we take a moment for ourselves to calm our breathing and gather our composure before walking through the doors and taking our places before the stage.

Before the ceremony starts, I take a quick look around at the other factions, and my focus is immediately drawn to Dauntless. They laugh and joke and are generally loud and obnoxious, but it doesn't bother me the way it seems to bother the other Abnegation. Or every faction, really. Some of my earliest memories are of me trying to run and play the with the Dauntless children, and I find myself smiling at not just the memory, but at my aptitude results too; Abnegation, Dauntless and Erudite. The woman who administered my test told me that it was extremely rare for two results, let alone three, and that I had to keep it a secret to stay alive. A shudder races through me, and I turn my attention back to Marcus Eaton, our faction leader, who is taking the stage.

"Good afternoon, and welcome everyone. Today is a very special day, as you know. Today is the day you become an adult and a full-fledged responsible member of our society. Sure, you will still learn and grow within your chosen faction for the next few years, but I know that whatever you choose today, you will make amazing contributions to our fair city, and I personally thank you for that. May God be with you and your families today."
Marcus bows his head in respect before continuing. "First up, Anthony Young."

The Erudite boy heads up to the stage, takes the knife that Marcus presents to him, and makes a cut in his hand. When his blood hits the water, his faction cheers and welcomes him back with smiling faces and open arms. The same thing happens again and again -different factions, same results- until the first transfer happens; an Amity girl named Krystal. She makes her cut and chooses Abnegation. I watch as she is gently welcomed into our faction before looking over at her parents. I can see the tears falling down her mothers face, and her father holds onto her tight, trying his best to comfort her.

I'm not sure which is harder; staying somewhere you're not sure you belong to be with your family, or leaving them behind.

When my brother's name is called, my stomach knots with nerves. He carefully makes his way to the stage, and when he makes his cut, I hear the loud gasps before I can even register what has happened. He makes his way over to Erudite, where they welcome him with open arms and smiling faces as though he's always belonged. I look between my mother and father quickly; she is smiling happily, while my father looks shocked.

"Beatrice," my mother says, pulling my attention back to her. "It's your turn. Go on." Still stuck in my stupor, I missed my name being called.

My heart beats loudly in my ears as I slowly make my way to the stage. I glance over at Erudite but my brother isn't even watching; he's too busy discussing something with the boy he's sitting next to. My heart aches both for my father and for the betrayal I feel, and as I take the knife in my hand, I wonder if he even cares.

I make my cut, and hold my hand over the cold gray stones without hesitation. I may have an aptitude for two other factions, but I have to do whatever it takes to stay safe. The woman who administered my test told me Abnegation would be it, and for whatever reason, I believe her. I am welcomed back with smiles and respectful nods. I take my place next to my mother, who reaches over and squeezes my hand gently. I know it's meant to be reassuring, but I sit there for the remainder of the ceremony, feeling what can I only describe as empty.

When the ceremony is over, I help the others fold chairs and stack them against the wall. This year there were two transfers, and eight of us who stayed. We work together as a team, our initiation already underway.

Thankfully things take a while, so the bus ride home is relatively empty and we can all sit comfortably. When we arrive we are greeted by our instructors. The six boys follow Mr. Hadley to their dorm, while the four of us follow Ms. Day to ours.

Ms. Day is one of our most respected elders; she is a member who decided to strictly devote her life to Abnegation and nothing else. She never married or had any kids, so every year for the past 42 years, she has volunteered to work with the new initiates. If you ask her, she will tell you how much she loves children, and she always felt her purpose was to teach us how to selflessly live our lives in the best way possible.

"Welcome ladies," Ms. Day says as we enter the dorm. "For those of you who are new to the faction, our initiation lasts for thirty days. In those thirty days your time will be spent strictly volunteering; at the hospital, at the distribution center, at the packaging plant and finally with the Factionless. You're also going to experience life as they do, so you can truly understand the life they lead and the hardships they experience. Each day is a 12 hour work day, beginning at 7. There will be no horsing around, do you understand?" I feel the girl from Amity, Krystal, look over at me.

"I don't think I do," she says quietly.
"What I mean is, you will do your work, and nothing else. This is not a social event. You will follow my rules explicitly, and I will not stand for anything less than perfection, am I clear?"
"Yes Ms. Day," we say in unison.
"Good. Now please choose a bed."

The three girls, Krystal, Rose and Susan choose beds right next to each other, and look over to me to join them. It's not that I don't want to be near them, I would just rather be off my myself. Three sets of eyes follow me as I walk a little ways down and choose a bed.

"Okay," Ms. Day says. "Krystal and Rose, come with me and we will get you a change of clothes. Beatrice and Susan, you can head to your houses and grab what you already own. Please make it quick."
"Yes Ms. Day," we say in unison.

Susan and I live across the street from each other. Caleb and I would occasionally walk with her and her twin brother, Robert, to the bus on the mornings her father didn't drive them. It feels sort of similar now, except there's no more school, and no more Caleb. Or Robert; he transferred to Amity.

"I'm sorry," I say, making pleasantries, "About Robert and Caleb." While dating is not allowed in Abnegation, proper courting can start after we turn sixteen and choose; Caleb and Susan were about as close as you could get to either one.
"Oh, Beatrice," she says quietly. "Thank you, and I'm sorry as well."
"You're welcome. And thanks."

"You know, I sort of always thought that Caleb and I would get married, and that you and Robert would maybe get married too, and we would be sisters," she says as we walk. I scrunch my nose at the thought, and look quickly over to apologize, but she's focused on her feet and didn't notice. It's not that I didn't like Robert -he would have made a perfectly fine husband- but I do feel a little guilty at the relief I feel that he transferred. "Guess that's not going to happen now, is it?"
"No Susan, it's not."
She looks up and gives me a half smile. "Meet you here so we can walk back together?"
"Sure."

Walking into the house feels a bit surreal. It's still my house, and I'll come back here after initiation while I finish my schooling, but it feels vastly different than it did only hours ago. I open the door to my brothers room and stare at the stack of books on his nightstand. How did I miss this? Too selfish, that's how. I close the door softly and walk across the hall to gather my clothes.

"Was it weird for you too?" Susan asks as I walk down the steps in front of my house.
"Yeah, it was. Susan?"
"Yes Beatrice?"
"Can we just walk in silence?" Susan gives me a quick nod and looks at her feet as we walk back to our dorm.

"Perfect. Thank you girls," Ms. Day says as she comes back with Krystal and Rose, who are now fully clothed in gray. I look between the other three; they're all at least five inches taller than I am, so their clothes, while still baggy, fit so much better than mine. The three of them also look, well, like adults. I look down at the thick cuff on my pants and my thin, childlike frame that's dwarfed by the rest of my clothes and let out a sigh.

"It's already close to dinner time, so for today, I will give you a short tour of where everything is kept in the dorm, as well as show you where the kitchen is. Since there are four of you, you will pair up and rotate kitchen duty every other day." Krystal and Rose immediately cling to one another, leaving me paired with Susan.

We follow Ms. Day as she shows us where the bathroom, linens, her room and the kitchen are located. "Now, Beatrice and Susan, go ahead and prepare dinner tonight, for five. Always five. I will join you each meal and we will discuss your day before you are dismissed. You'll also take a full day of kitchen duty tomorrow. Any questions?" She looks to each one of us, but nobody speaks. "Good. Rose and Krystal, you may have some private time in the dorm while dinner is prepared."

Susan and I peel potatoes and chop carrots before starting on the chicken. While it bakes, Ms. Day tells us that we are also permitted some private time. I'm not sure what Ms. Day's definition of private is, because this is clearly anything but; four girls in one large room with no separation of any kind. I sit on my bed and listen to Krystal and Rose reminisce a little about Amity, and their family. Hearing what they have to say, I don't know why they would give that up to come here.

Dinner is standard for Abnegation: prayers, minimal talking, and everybody staring at their plate as they eat. After Susan and I clean up, we are dismissed for the evening, and reminded to be in the kitchen for breakfast at six.

Just before I drift off to sleep, I wonder what Caleb is thinking at this very moment.