a Bug's Life fanfic
by C. "Sparky" Read

Chapter Three

Despite the short prep time and formidable language barrier, P.T.'s troupe managed to pull off a marginally successful show the following night. Tuck and Roll performed with precision on the spiderweb trapeze and trampoline Rosie had spun, managing to earn a few 'Ooh's and 'Aah's from the stoic-looking, meagre crowd. There had even been scattered applause. P.T. was ecstatic.

"Geniuses!" cried the flea, pumping the expressionless pillbugs' twelve hands up and down in elation. "Did you see them? Say goodbye to debt! Say so long to financial ruin!"

The other bugs smiled and nodded. The pillbugs' talents were certainly impressive, but Tuck and Roll's woodenness and general silence was a bit unnerving. However, all agreed that they were better than a big, bad-tempered bug - which, when P.T. said 'daredevil act,' was what they were expecting to end up with.

They took Tuck and Roll to a diner-slash-pub a bit later on to eat and show the brothers a slice of American life.

"It's like they've never seen a clown before," remarked Slim after once again failing to make either of the pillbugs do anything other than regard him curiously by going through a few of his routine tricks.

"Forget it, Slim," Francis told his friend. "I must have done a million pratfalls for them this morning. They're like stone."

"They must have had a very hard life." Gypsy lifted her droplet of water and watched Tuck and Roll twist in their seats, trying to take in their strange surroundings with wonder. "Give them some time."

"Heimlich, have you been able to communicate with them at all?" Rosie asked the caterpillar.

"No," said Heimlich sadly, munching on an appetizer leaf. "Dere is too much of a difference. Dey are Hungarian. Strange dialect, too."

"Well, we shall have to cope," said Manny simply, "until they learn to utilize our language."

Francis sputtered. "But tonight was murder!" he complained. "And good luck to P.T. trying to explain that cannon idea. They've probably never even seen one before."

"They should smile," announced Dim firmly.

"Dim's right," agreed Rosie. "It's more important that they at least be happy. Then we can worry about communicating."

The food arrived. The waitress dropped a check on the table and sauntered off.

The bugs picked at their dinner, no one apparently really hungry. Even Heimlich hesitated, glancing down at Tuck and Roll, who were to his immediate right. They were despondently poking at their food. He looked down at his plate, heaped high with Today's Special. He considered. Then he leaned to his left, where Slim sat.

"Slim," he said, "I am going to do something I've neffer done before." Then, before the walkingstick could ask what he meant, Heimlich picked up his plate and hurled it across the table into Manny's face.

All the other bugs jumped in surprise, then stared at Manny in shock as the plate slowly slid down and dropped to the floor, leaving the dignified mantis' face absolutely covered in gobs of food. The stares turned to Heimlich, who gripped the edge of the table as he glanced apologetically around at everyone. Then he looked anxiously down at Tuck and Roll.

The pillbugs were as stunned as everyone else; they gaped at the caterpillar, then at the frozen mantis. Food dripped off of Manny's face and onto the table in an almost rhythmic fashion.

Then Roll started to snicker. Tuck glared at him; Roll poked him and, gesturing towards Manny, remarked: "Hre vlela." Tuck looked back at the mantis and, after blinking a couple of times, doubled over in hysterics. Roll soon joined him.

"They've flipped out," whispered Francis.

But then Rosie burst out laughing, and soon everyone else was laughing too - with the exception of the waitress, who looked disgusted. The circus bugs were fully prepared to launch into a full-fledged food fight but were hastily escorted off of the premises by the diner's offended proprietor. They headed back to the tent instead.

"Okay, so they do have emotions," Francis had to admit to the others as they walked along. Manny wiped his face off with a scrap of newsprint Gypsy had found for him. Behind them, Tuck and Roll followed, still tittering. "Even if they do have sick senses of humor," added the ladybug.

"Just be glad," interjected Slim, "that they do not have short tempers."

Francis, who knew that remark was meant for him, remained silent.

"Yes," agreed Gypsy, "at least they are not fighting."

"Um," said Rosie. "...Don't turn around."

Of course, everyone did. Behind them, Tuck and Roll's mirth had turned into an unintelligible squabble over nothing apparent.

"It looks like it might become rather noisy around here," remarked Manny.

"Yeah," said Francis. "Thanks Heimlich."

"Thanks Heimlich," parroted the others.

Heimlich shrugged. "...You're velcome?"