Weiss sat at the dining table, staring blankly at her laptop and bouncing her leg incessantly.

She had her fingers intertwined and pressed against her forehead, like she was concentrating extremely hard on something. With a high-pitched grumble, she slammed her palms on the table.

"I can't BELIEVE my sister is making me bring a date to her wedding."

Weiss, against all her own wishes and at the behest of her pushy sister Winter, was tasked with finding an escort to her wedding. Which was tomorrow.

Her family being.. well, her family, she could already tell what sort of assumptions they'd bring up if Weiss had shown up dateless at twenty-one years old. There were high expectations of her, but she didn't think that it was so important to bring a date just because her sister's many important business associates would be attending, and probably also scouting out Weiss secretly.

She thought of different people she could bring to fool her sister and get her and her family off her back, but she remembers the specific request of Winter and mocked her accordingly:

"Weiss, make sure you bring someone I don't know, I checked your Facebook and I memorized all your friends and blah blah blah WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS?!" She dropped the mimic and voiced her own furious thoughts. "Why is it so important that it be someone she doesn't know? Is there a reason that everyone is in on except me?"

Weiss got off the chair and paced around the kitchen, playing with anything that happens to be out to try and cool herself off. She picked up her coffee mug and turned it around over and over again, before deciding that she probably looked stupid and set it back down.

Eventually, she calmed herself down with some deep breaths. Scanning the room for any sort of inspiration to solve this issue, she spots her phone across the table and runs to snatch it up; she had thrown it earlier out of rage and it landed on the floor, after which she decided to set it down very carefully, and very much far away from her.

Opening up her contacts, she tapped the screen down to "V."

"Okay, she doesn't even have a Facebook. Maybe Winter forgot about her."

A few more taps, and she brought the phone to her ear, hoping, through the silence of the kitchen, her friend would answer.

A few rings, and a distinct noise—Weiss sat up straight—a soft voice, 'hello?'

"Velvet!"

'Oooh no, Weiss, your sister told me you'd try an' call me.'

'Fuck.' Weiss heard of Winter's preemptive strike and cursed internally. How had Winter already thought she would try and call Velvet? She continued anyway. "What do you mean, "oooh no?" You haven't even heard what I'm going to ask."

'…alright. What c'n I help ya with?'

Weiss cleared her throat. "Well, Velvet, as you know, my marvelous sister Winter is getting married tomorrow."

'..that she is.'

Setting an elbow on the table to brace her forehead, Weiss continues her inquiry, "I was wondering if you would like to escort me to her wedding."

'That's what I thought you were gonna ask, but sorry Weiss, I can't.'

"Why not?!" She slammed her table again, immediately regretting the action, shaking her stinging palm with a quiet "ouch."

'Don't you remember? I'm already going tomorrow, but I'm taking Coco. Though she insists she's taking me, I've had to remind her that I was the one Winter invited.'

Weiss' expression switched once she recalled this information. "Shit, that's right. That's… uuughhh. What am I supposed to do? My family is pretty much expecting I bring someone because Winter already talked my imaginary date up!"

'Seriously? What'd she say?'

"That my date was incredibly attractive, successful, polite, good with kids and animals, a whole bunch of crap like that."

Weiss heard a sympathetic laugh coming from her friend, and laid her head on the table, feigning despair.

'Aw I'm so sorry Weiss, wish I could help more. Um… try Craigslist? Maybe you'll get lucky,' Velvet suggested jokingly.

The thought struck Weiss like a truck. She felt like she could finally understand the cliché scene in movies where the main character starts to realize something important and the uplifting music starts playing, and they spring into action to throw together this awesome, sure-fire plan.

"You're right."

'I'm what? No, Weiss, ahaha, I was joking. Don't—' Velvet was cut off by the determined girl's strategy.

"It's perfect." Weiss itemized her plan of action. "I'll get on Craigslist, find a nice girl, hire her to be my date, and after tomorrow we can just go on with our lives like nothing happened!" She was getting excited. What could possibly go wrong?

'Weiss, I don't—' Velvet sighed, 'okay, listen. This isn't really a good idea, what if you hire some weirdo? You can't just—' She was cut off again.

"Velvet, thank you so much. I've got to get looking. I'll see you tomorrow, aaaand you will see me next to an amazing date, okay? Okay."

'No, no wa—' Weiss hit the large red 'end' button that lined the bottom of the screen. Turning her phone off and setting it aside, she turned her laptop on and got up to make a fresh pot of coffee while waiting for the device to boot up.

Upon returning to the table with her mug in one hand, she moused past her desktop featuring Weiss and her two good friends, Ruby and Yang, and opened up the web browser.

Clicking into the address bar, she started to type as well as voice, 'vale dot craigslist dot org,' hitting enter with baited breath.

a/n: Maybe you recognized the prompt? It's from a really awesome list of AUs I found on tumblr, and this one stuck with me. I was wondering which pairing would go well with the idea, and then it hit me: there's almost no one funnier than Weiss Schnee.

Also, thanks (commentator . ihy) for suggesting this! For anyone that's confused, Winter is the elder sister in this story. Refer to chapter 6 for details!

Happy reading.