DISCLAIMER: I do not own TG. If I did, it would be a story about happy and safe Kaneki.

WARNING: MANGA SPOILERS!

A/N: Sort of inspired by the self-insert fic, 'Rare Child レアチャイルド' by orochigay! Please read that fic first, thanks! Anyway, I just wanna know where I can take this story. I decided to try an experimental style rather than my usual slow-flowing timeline.

I.

Most people are never meant to recall who they were in their previous life. To those who do remember, they know better than to speak about it. They use their time to make the most out of their lives because they understand the meaning of death more than anyone else.

Being reborn was like waking up from a dream. Everything would be hazy at most. Snippets of your life in a soft blur, memories of a life you've once had would gradually creep into your infantile mind. For me, it was only until I've reached middle school did I finally piece the puzzle.

Oh, I thought to myself one morning, I'm alive.

Back then I didn't understand what was going on in my head. Sometimes I'd babble in nonsense English which my (new) parents thought I picked up from their old 'The Beatles' records. I'd talk about weird things when I was a kid such as asking for a computer to log into 'social networks' or other things they've never even heard of.

So when I woke up one morning with full memory of who I was back then (Twenty-two, got caught in a bus accident, bedridden in hospital for weeks, died too young), it had been one hell of a shocker. It was the first day of middle school and a huge information dump crashed in my brain like a bucket of ice-cold water.

"Nagi! Hurry up! You're gonna be late!" Ah, that's right. Japanese language.

I was in Nagasaki, Japan.

To be more precise, I was in Fukue Island at the west coast of Kyushu.

"I-I'll be down in a sec, ma!" I cried out, pulling on my skirt. I really wanted to spend the rest of the day trying to sort out my thoughts because people just don't remember their past lives out of the blue. It was unheard of!

I took a quick scan of my new, yet familiar room. It was small with a single bed, a bookshelf, and a wooden chair. There was a study desk on my right with faded animal stickers on its surface. On top were my old elementary school books inside a cardboard box. Attached on the wall was a newly installed corkboard. On its surface were crayoned drawings; one was of my new family, and the other was an artwork of me.

... As in me, the twenty-two year old 'me' who was awful at sports but good at baking and collecting second handed books. I was holding hands with a little girl who I suspect was the 'me' now.

I felt a sharp stab in my gut. I know deep down, when I dive into my memories—this little girl is inside my mind. She's me and I'm her… but she'll never be the same again. The thought of it made my heart ache.

"Nagi!"

They're still my parents, I reminded myself distantly.

I grabbed my bag that was sitting on my chair and pushed my sliding doors to the side. I buttoned up my uniform top as I ran downstairs. I spent the rest of the day jogging my memory and trying to act like a kid when I really wasn't. Getting to school was more of muscle memory than anything since I had to walk there. Remembering everything felt as if my cloudy life looked clearer, like wearing a new pair of glasses.

It was almost too surreal. I was now a middle school girl named 'Kobayashi Nagisa' living in the countryside complete with their dialect and lifestyle. I was far from the wards of Tokyo.

Yes, as in Tokyo Ghoul.

Ghouls exist in this world.

It wasn't that hard to notice when all you hear from the news during dinner were about the attacks in X ward and a ghoul bust in Y ward. My school had been going on about it too, particularly my classmates. There were posters slapped on the school's bulletin board regarding tips and information to join the CCG Academy.

Living outside the wards of Tokyo didn't mean we were vulnerable to ghoul attacks. There were special doves relocated in different prefectures but not as much as they have in the cities. At most, we have around three here and I'm pretty sure they barely get to use their fancy quinques.

Of course, that didn't mean we have no ghouls around. There have been cases around cities with denser populations but I've hardly heard or seen any action in the village I lived in. I suppose I could count that as a blessing. The place I lived in was small and practically everybody knew each other.

The last attack in this area was seventeen years ago and that was by the edge of the village on the way to the city. There were barely any pieces left of the poor girl. The village did a proper burial and traditional blessing after that. I'd see a few elders leave flowers by the place of the incident every now and then.

I doubt any city-dweller ghouls would ever come here unless they miraculously found a way to get past the CCG security in the airports. That was another thing. Security was tight. Unless you had internal connections that could hook you up, you'd have to take the long route. Leaving the wards of Tokyo was strict but getting into Tokyo was a lot worse—registrations, health tests, paperwork proving you're 100% human through general hospital RC cell readings, etc.

Ah well. I doubt I'd ever meet Kaneki Ken and his merry band of flesh-eating friends anyway. We're literally islands apart and I wasn't exactly eager to fly myself to Tokyo and enroll myself into CCG Academy. I'm not an orphan and my parents don't have enough money to fund my entire trip. It would be too expensive.

Besides, I'd rather stay away from the trouble than jumping in it.

"Would you like some beverage?" asked the smiling flight stewardess.

She was firmly holding onto the handle of her trolley with one hand, and an empty plastic cup on the other. My throat felt parched from nervously chowing down the packet of peanuts they offered a few minutes back. I needed a lot more than peanuts to get rid of my growing anxiety but I didn't have the guts to ask for hard liquor.

"Just a lemon-lime soda, thanks…" I meekly replied, "A-Also, can I get a peanut refill?"

Tokyo was literally an hour away.

You might be wondering how I could have gotten to Tokyo if I didn't have any eagerness or money.

It's simple. At the end of high school, students were given the option to take entrance exams in the island instead of flying all the way to Tokyo. My parents had ushered me into trying my chances to see if I can get into any university. I was already set on taking college in Nagasaki so I thought it wouldn't hurt to try— which turned out to be a big mistake.

I didn't get into the big leagues like Tokyo-U or Haruna Gakuin but I got accepted in Kamii University with full-scholarship. I wasn't exactly an Einstein but my grades have been very good. I didn't find any point in hiding my 'intelligence' at the remote countryside so I went all out. Apparently, my dad mailed my grades along with my high school recommendation letters to the university after mom's urging.

I had to pick whether to take the scholarship or stay in Nagasaki and pay full tuition fees.

Of course I had to take the cheaper cut.

I knew how hard it was to pay student loans back in my first life so I did my best not to burden my parents. Life looked a lot more different when you've already experienced it the first time.

However, that didn't mean I went down without a fight. I threw all my ammo—the rent in Tokyo's gonna be expensive! What about the transportation fees an' food? What do I do if I get attacked by ghouls?! And my personal favorite: 'Would ya really send yer only daughter all alone in the big city?!'

Needless to say, I got lectured for raising my voice.

"You'll be stayin' in the student dorms," mom replied, wiping her hands on her apron. "Just study and do good!"

"C'mon now! Kamii's in the 20th ward—it's real safe!" dad laughed heartily,

Yeah, sure. 'Safe'.

I've been holding onto the things I've seen in Tokyo Ghoul but my memory of it wasn't as sharp as it was back when I had been in middle school. I had grieved over the loss of my first life for a few months when I was alone in my room. Outside, I kept the façade of a happy child. It took nearly two years until I've grown accustomed to living here. In the end, the island and its occupants had wormed its way in my heart.

As for Tokyo Ghoul, I remembered most of the important parts but nothing in-between. I didn't know the time gaps. I didn't know when an event would happen or if I had already missed it. I'd recall names and faces but I'm pretty sure I've forgotten a bunch of CCG investigators and members of ghoul organizations.

Ugh, no. Just focus on your course, I scolded myself. It sounded as if I was going to do something drastic.

It wasn't like I didn't want to help out. I don't think I can count how many times I've lied down on my bed thinking about the things I could do to prevent this tragedy from happening. First of all—I didn't even know where Anteiku was. It wasn't as if the manga showed the address and directions to the café!

And I was human.

Human.

Touka would skewer me if I even hinted of having knowledge of ghouls, let alone their organization. Yeah, you can help by being my dinner tonight, Nagi-chan. Yeah, no. I've already died once. I'd rather not die again.

And so the decision was made and I was going to Tokyo. I would have gotten into good detail on how my last days went but this isn't a story about my peaceful life on the island with all those tearful goodbyes and promises of long-lasting friendships. This is a story about my life in Tokyo and how I met Kaneki.

Talk about country bumpkin meeting city boy. Hah, classic.

I didn't meet Kaneki immediately after I arrived in Tokyo. In fact, he was far from my mind when I stepped foot in Haneda airport. The first thing I thought of was how incredibly small I felt compared to the huge city. The last time I've been to one was in my first life and that had been ages ago. I've been so used to walking through the countryside village, fishing during Sundays, and visiting our neighbor city when I had the time. It was weird seeing 'foreigners' again, strolling past me with their luggage and souvenirs.

"This is the pre-boarding announcement for flight JAL37 to Osaka. We are now inviting those passengers with small children and passengers requiring special assistance, to begin boarding at this time. Please have your boarding pass and identification ready."

I nervously walked past the terminal gates to find the baggage claim. On the walls were scrolling texts of flight departures, announcements, and CCG reminders. It hadn't exactly hit me until now that this was all real. Flesh-eating ghouls were real. Those CCG daily reminders were things to actually take caution on.

Back when I've been watching the news at home, I never actually felt anything other than the fact that they were creatures that existed, just like wars existed outside of Japan. You knew it was there but you never thought it would affect you. And now I was here in Tokyo on my way to the 20th Ward.

The binge-eater, the ghoul restaurant, the attacks in the alleyways, the tortures and blood and tragedy— Whoa there! Hold that thought, Nagi! We're not going to think about that...! I didn't come here to Tokyo to dive straight into that mess. I came to study in Kamii University, not run around to aid the ghouls or take part in CCG. Besides, most of my time would be being preoccupied with attending lectures in the campus, and heading straight back to the student dorms.

By the time I arrived down the escalator, I spotted my bags on the conveyer belt and placed them on my trolley. It was nearly twelve noon so it was probably best to take a breather and have some lunch. I figured I should take a look around after having my documents checked. Although there weren't that many shops around the domestic terminal, there was enough to keep businessmen and tourists happy.

There was a bookstore two shops away from a sandwich restaurant. I took a pause to stare at it disbelievingly, unsure whether to grimace or gape in shock. On the window's display were copies of Takatsuki Sen's The Black Goat's Egg. I haven't read any of her books since our local bookstore never had it stocked.

"I guess it's pretty popular here," I muttered, hands twitching. No, no, I shouldn't buy one. I need to eat...

I glanced at the sandwich restaurant and the information booth near the pamphlet stands. I needed to save up if I want to take a cab straight to the university. It was a lot more expensive but it would be the quickest route.

I sighed.

And so I bought one copy out of morbid curiosity. It was popular to the ghouls in this world, and a fiction within a 'fictitious' world was tempting to read- Oh who am I kidding? I wasted my money!

On my way to the 20th ward, I decided to take the bus and buy some microwavable bento at a convenience store. From there I had to get to Shibuya and take the train all the way to Nerima. The cab fare to Kamii was a staggering thirteen thousand yen, which was equivalent to a week's worth of my food (I'd rather not starve, thanks).

Luckily, the school was located near the train station. By the time I got to the campus, I was taking my sweet time trying to catch my breath. It was a miracle no ghouls tried to jump on me— granted, the way to the campus had been a bit crowded and no sane ghoul would try to attack someone in broad daylight… I think.

"Bad thoughts, bad thoughts…!" I quickly straightened myself and dragged my luggage towards the campus dorms. Mom had printed out a copy of the university's map— I dug into my pockets and unfolded a crumpled paper. Apparently I'll have to share a room with a schoolmate.

After walking in circles for the past ten minutes, I decided to ask for directions. Thankfully there was a woman sitting by the fountain who didn't seem too busy.

"Excuse me, miss," I said,

She blinked and looked up from her mobile phone, "Yes?"

"Can you direct me to the campus dorms? I'm sorta new here," I rubbed my arm, feeling a little self-conscious of my accent. It was obvious I wasn't from Tokyo.

"Oh um," she pointed to her left, "The campus dorms are that way. Which building are you assigned to?"

"Ak-Aki…?" I quickly looked at my paper, " The Autumn building..."

"Then it's next to the Winter building," she said, fiddling with her bangles, "Just follow the sign when you get there."

"Okay," I smiled in relief before bowing shortly, "Thanks, miss."

I didn't know it back then but I had just asked directions from Nishiki's girlfriend, Kimi. It was different seeing them in inked pages and in flesh. I couldn't immediately recognize them as I thought I would. In the back of my mind, I wondered if this would pose as a problem later on.

I got to my dormitory safe and sound. My roommate, Yamada Kei was a major in Biology science, specifically molecular and cell biology. She was polite if a little on the odd side. Kei had a big collection of books dedicated to ghouls. It was clear why she chose her course.

"So, uh, you like ghouls?" I hesitantly asked, hoping that she wasn't a ghoul herself.

"Not really," she murmured nonchalantly, "I'm more interested in RC cells."

Kei was a year above me so she knew her way around the campus. Unfortunately, she was a science major and I was part of the literature department so she couldn't help me with my schedule. (I decided to take English language and literature since I was familiar with both.)

I'm embarrassed to admit that I was dreadfully paranoid and cautious during my first month in Tokyo. I only left the campus twice to buy something at the nearest district mall. I kept looking around for 'familiar faces' like Nishiki, Hide, or even Kaneki but I couldn't find any of them.

So I decided to just focus on my studies. It was what I came for after all. I phoned my parents regularly about my progress at school as well as my old high school friends. Most of them decided to work early while others took college in Nagasaki.

Eventually I stopped worrying and let the days pass by with ease. I made sure to update myself with news regarding the CCG right before my morning classes. I buried myself with lecture notes, research papers, and instant coffee. It felt weird being a college student again but the soft tug of nostalgia was not unwelcomed.

I made more friends with Kei's biology major buddies than my own. With all the books our professors have thrown at us, it was a little hard to juggle quality time with people in the same class as you. It didn't help much when we all had to compete for the title of 'who's borrowing that book in the library first'. It was that or we had to buy in the bookshop.

I've seen Hide once in the span of my first semester in Kamii. We weren't in the same class and we've never formally met but it was the closest encounter I've had with a 'character' (excluding Kimi). It was around the middle of June. Hide was speaking over his phone right by the corridor. My English class had just finished and we were lucky to be let out early.

" … I'm telling you, man! That show last night was great!" He nodded fervently before laughing, "Yeah well, you just don't understand the appeal of Katase's ace detective skills!"

"Oi, Hide!" a guy called from inside the lecture hall I've just exited, "Let's go!"

"Yeah, sure!" Hide said, covering his phone before bringing it back to his ear, "Kaneki, gotta go! The last class just finished early since we're using their lecture hall for our group presentation." A snicker, "Yeah, yeah! I've got it all under control!"

It was brief and I was barely given the time to look at his face properly but it was definitely him. My memories were foggy at most but those headphones and bright hair were easy to distinguish.

I went into a blank daze after that. After plunging in deep into my lecture notes and tests, it was so easy to forget about Tokyo Ghoul. Just hearing its title felt so silly now.

For the first time since I've arrived in the 20th ward, I decided to open Takatsuki's book that night. I finished the entire thing without sleeping. The Black Goat's Egg is a gripping tale about a son and his mother who happens to be a serial killer. Slowly, the son's mentality begins to deteriorate as he realizes that he himself begins to have the same impulses as her.

As a literature major, it was hard not to notice Takatsuki's style of writing. Her story pales in comparison to other books I've read. It was clear that she was young for her age, if not talented. However, it was easy to see why it was so popular. Something about her book felt absolutely believable. The elusiveness of her writing only made it more suspicious, as if she was used to secrets and lies. Her work was mostly appreciated for her talent in vividly painting the brutality of her broken characters.

But as a human being, I found her work terrifying.

This is the kind of world you're living in right now, I reminded myself.

I stared down at the white cover of my book and found myself thinking how it should have been red.

.