Light and Dark In All Of Us

By. SadieAnnabethMellark

Summary: "You're not a bad person. You're a very good person who bad things have happened to. Besides the world isn't split into good people and death eaters. We've got both light and dark in us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are." Sirius Black is having a hard time with coping after running away from home and to the Potters. A talk with Charlus helps Sirius.

Disclaimer: I'm just another one of those average people who don't, unfortunately, own Harry Potter. Sorry to get your hopes up.

"Come in." The voice from the other side of the study door called. I hesitated for a second, but then turned the door knob and stuck my head in. Sitting at the desk, Charlus Potter was looking over his glasses at me, smiling softly.

"Sirius." He acknowledged, "What can I do for you?"

"I just want to come talk to you, sir." my voice was shaky as I spoke, but I knew I needed to do this. I couldn't let them help me any longer. I had imposed on them far too much already.

Mr. Potter beckoned me in. I did as he told me. I slid into the room, shut the door behind me, and planted myself on the edge of the chair he pointed to in front of his desk in my most cordial and perfect pure blood behavior. The way mother had ingrained into my brain from the time I was born. Mr. Potter seemed to notice, because he looked at me a little differently than he had before.

"What's wrong, Sirius?" He asked in a quieter, more gentle voice. I internally felt myself long for Mr. Potter to pull me into a hug and not let me go. I wish he wouldn't understand, but I knew he would. And because he would understand...he would do what he needed to and kick me out. Just like I deserved.

Putting on my best impassive mask I spoke evenly the words I had practiced for an hour before coming to speak to the head of the house, "I wish to thank you for your hospitality thus far Mr. Potter. I shall not impose on you any longer. I will be gone by sunrise." Mr. Potter looked like a cross between confused and worried. This was a side of the man, that I couldn't help but love like a father, that I had never seen before. He stood from his desk slowly, pushing his glasses that looked very much like his son's up his nose and came to stand in front of me. Leaning back on the dark table top he looked down at me worriedly with his soft blue green eyes.

"Sirius?" he asked slowly, "What's going on?"

I looked down at the floor for a second to compose myself. It had been hard enough to say three sentences and now he was looking at me, like a father would look down at his son, and was asking me for an explanation. But, I knew he already knew the answer as to why I was to leave. After all, it was obvious. I was surprised I actually hadn't seen the problem and hassle sooner. In the couple of days I had been here, I now finally knew why Mrs. Potter would give me a prolonged glance every time she saw me. I now knew why Mr. Potter would sigh deeply when ever I exited the room. I now knew why James would poke his head into his room that we had been sharing before entering. It was all because of me. It was all because I was a Black. It was because I was a death eater by blood. Just the thing my mother had tried to drill into my head and had joyful announced to me just before I fled my childhood home, "You are to be a death eater." I couldn't impose on them any longer with that in mind. If there was one thing that I knew for sure, it was that the Potters were good people, workers with the light, and they didn't need somebody from the dark side taking advantage of them.

Looking back up with a serious and stony expression I spoke cordially, "Mr. Potter, I feel as if I've been imposing on you long enough. I shan't continue being a burden around here."

Mr. Potter looked at me with an unreadable expression, "You haven't been a burden Sirius." My heart wanted to believe Mr. Potter's words, but my head knew better. Mr. Potter had been raised to be an heir. He knew the script.

"Thank you, once again, for you're hospitality." I spoke finally as I started to stand, but Mr. Potter's warm gentle hand (still to which I seemed to be unconsciously flinching at) pushed me back down into the squishy armchair, that I had just vacated, softly. I looked back up at Mr. Potter's face. His eyebrows scrunched together in worry and his lips were in a tight line.

"Sirius? Are you alright?" As he spoke he looked like the father I had wanted him to be. I looked down at my knees, trying not to break into sobs. I didn't want to do this...but I needed to.

"I'm fine sir." My voice cracked slightly on the word 'sir' as I blinked back forming tears.

A warm callused hand softly lifted my chin to look up into the same grass green eyes I had seen so many times, "Please, love, talk to me. You know you can right?" He whispered as he knelt down in front of me.

"Yes, sir." I nodded, "But, I can schedule a time with you to talk, and I don't want to waste your time, you have so many things to do after all being an auror is hard work and you have Mrs. Potter and James and you have the order-" I was speaking very fast, something I had tended to do when I was trying to keep myself in check.

"Shh, Sirius." Mr. Potter crooned as he wiped away a stray tear that had started to roll down my cheek, "Just calm down now. It's alright. What's this all about?"

"I need to leave."

"And why's that, love?"

"I've imposed on you long enough. And James I'm sure would like-"

"James loves you being here. But that's not what this is about. What is this really about, love?"

I rubbed my fist across my running nose, ashamed of my now free flowing tears. But Mr. Potter's kind eyes did not falter. He just continued to gaze at me begging me to speak to him. But I kept quiet. I was to scared of my own truth to even think about it, let alone confess it to one of the men I admired most, if not the most.

Mr. Potter wiped away a few more tears with his thumbs and continued to plead with his eyes.

"Please, love? I can't fix this if you don't tell me what's bothering you."

I let out a soft sob as I thought of what this was about.

"It going to be alright." Mr. Potter almost cooed as he pulled me closer to him and held me in his tight warm arms. I buried my face in his dark blue sweater that smelled of his cologne and of dark strong coffee. It had been a sweet surprise to find that I was not the only one to take to the more American drink.

"Not it's not." I croaked out between sobs. Mr. Potter rubbed my back gently whispering nonsense into my ear softly as he held me in his arms, trying to calm my seemingly infinite sobs.

"I don't belong here! You're such good people and you are so happy and you deserve so much and you are kind and loving and good people and I'm ruining it for you, because I'm a bad person and I deserve to be dead just like mother-" I chocked out between sobs.

"No, love, that's not true! And don't you dare believe anything that woman ever told you!" Charlus squeezed me tightly for a second as he rubbed my back, his voice firm but gentle as he spoke.

"But i'm a death eater." I cried.

"What?"

"I'm a death-"

"I heard you the first time, love. But you can't be a death eater." Mr. Potter sounded so sure.

"I am! My whole family are Death Eaters. They all are knifing little pieces of scum on the bottom of Voldemort's shoes, and I'm just one of them." I shook as I sobbed out these words.

Mr. Potter was quiet for a minute as he continued to cradle me in his arms. Something I was so grateful for. As weird as it sounded, Mr. Potter gave the best hugs right under Mrs. Potter. But hers were different from her husbands. Dorea had squeezed your torso like she was giving you the Heimlich maneuver and rocked back and forth slightly, especially when she was happy to see you (which for her was most of the time). But, Charlus's hugs were full and warm and comforting bear hugs. They consumed your whole body with warmth, strength, and comfort. But, even through Charlus' comfort I knew he was realizing who he had let into his house. Who he had let sleep in a spare bed. Who had sat at his kitchen table for the past week.

"I want to show you something, love." He told me quietly, "Let's take a little walk, shall we?" His voice was still comforting and soft, like an old blanket from childhood that had helped you chase away the monsters of the night. I nodded quickly and he let his arms from around me drop as he propelled himself to his feet and then pulled me out of my chair and to his side, his arm around my shoulders.

He pulled out of the door of his office and we started down the long west wing hallway. Charlus had once told me that he had wanted his office on this side of the manor so he could watch the sunset...and (according to Dorea) so he could watch James and I play a pick up game of quidditch instead of filling out forms for work. Normally, I would have made some wise crack about how of course he loved to watch James and I, after all we were the best players in England, but today I couldn't bring myself to speak this aloud, especially when there were more pressing matters at hand. Where would I stay? I couldn't go back home. I couldn't stay here. Maybe I could visit Andy and Ted, they might have an idea. What would I do when I got to school? Obviously James wouldn't want to be my brother anymore...who would want to be best friends with a death eater?

Mr. Potter steered me into the small sitting room a little ways down the hallway where James and his family often had afternoon tea, in case Charlus had any incoming work calls. I had been in here several times over the past summers and past week. It was one of my favorite rooms in the entire house, because it was so different from Grimmuald Place. It was painted a warm brown and had two cozy sofas that were nice to nap on. The fireplace was always a light with a warm fire and there was always a plate of Dorea's homemade chocolate chip biscuits. The curtains were always open, letting in the blazing sunlight and Charlus almost always had the wireless playing some muggle music, Jazz I think is what he called it. Whatever it was, I liked it.

Instead of heading towards the sofa, where I thought he might be leading me, he lead me to the side of the room where a number of many portraits had hung. I had never really studied them fully in depth before, but now I looked at them in detail. Hung on the far left was a portrait of Charlus,who smiled at me reassuringly, his jet black hair as wild as always, his grassy eyes shinning. Next to him, hung his wife, Dorea, her fiery auburn hair just as curly as it always was in its soft ringlets. Her portrait waved at me from her place on the wall. Next was a picture of my best friend, my brother. James' Hazel eyes were alight with mischief as he ran a hand through his untidy hair and smiled at me warmly.

"It's not quite finished yet. We were planning on showing you on your birthday next week, but I think you should see it now." Charlus told me softly as he pointed at the last portrait that was covered with a white sheet. I stared at it in shock, horror, anticipation. I couldn't quite describe the sensation that was consuming my body.

"Would you like me to-" Mr. Potter asked as he motioned towards the sheet with his head.

I nodded softly, "Please." Charlus let his arm around my shoulders drop as he reached forward and swept the sheet off the wall revealing the portraits behind the white monstrosity.

The first was a portrait of me. My grey eyes shone and my dark hair came down to my shoulders in their curly fashion. I could only smile since my arms didn't seem to have been painted yet, but that was okay. I felt another round of tears well in my eyes as I looked at the half finished portrait. Then I turned my attention to the second and complete portrait. It was a picture of Charlus and Dorea sitting in two arm chairs, holding hairs, their fingers caressing each other lovingly as they smiled happily down at me. James stood behind his mother, his arms wrapped lovingly around her neck in a soft hug. Dorea leaned into her sons soft embrace. And then, to my surprise, I knelt next to Charlus. His hand rested on picture me's shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze every now and then.

"Look at the top of the portrait, love." Charlus's soft tone glided across my ears. Looking up at the top of the huge portrait I saw three words that broke my heart: The Potter Family.

Tears streamed down my face as I bit my lip and looked away. No, they didn't understand. I couldn't be. I just couldn't be a part of their family. I was a bad person. A death eater. A nut case. A dark wizard. My whole body was wracked with my sobs.

"Sirius, love, I love you. And so does Dorea and so does James. Dorea and I may not have conceived you and we may not have raised you, but Sirius you are just as much my son as James."

"But I'm a bad person, Mr. Potter. I'm not-"

"You're not a bad person, love. You're a very good person who bad things have happened to. Besides the world isn't split into good people and death eaters. We've got both light and dark in us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are.", Mr. Potter turned my face up to look right into his eyes, "And Sirius, you've act in light. And you deserve this. If there's anybody who's not worthy of your love, it's me. I don't know what I did to deserve a son like you." I grasped onto Charlus' robes and held onto him with everything I had, burying my face in his shoulder.

"Welcome home, Sirius. Welcome to the family." Was whispered into my ear as I was grasped back tightly.

THE END

A/N:( Woohoo! A new story. It's taken me long enough. When was the last time I posted a one shot...over a month?! Wow! That's a really long time for me. I guess that I've been so busy working on my poetry. I've been working on this piece for a while now, and I eventually combined two ideas and came up with this story. I loved writing this story, but Sirius seems a little OOC to me. Plus, even though I am a real Hurt/Comfort writer, there was a lot of crying even for me. Was it over kill? I'm not sure. Let me know in a review. I really liked this idea, because first of all, I've always wondered how/why Sirius was this great philosopher and I've also wondered what the relationship between Sirius and. Mr. Potter was like. Any who, with this now posted, I am one step closer to writing my 50th one shot! If you haven't voted as to which couple will be feature, go to my profile and vote. And since I haven't posted in a while, I guess I'll share one of my poems with you in thanks. Tell me what you think about it. So, R&R. See you...ha I'm funny, I can't see you...since this is like a totally one way relationship...you all get my drift though. Love Ya, S.A.M.)

Smile

Written By: SadieAnnabethMellark

"What's wrong?" had been the first thing he said

"Nothing." It was a lie

"Come on. Just tell me."

And I looked up into his worried brown irises

Something inside me cracked.

I told him how I had a bad day at school

And how I wasn't given praise for my poem that I worked hard on

And how my Photo teacher thought I sucked

And how I was sure this boy didn't like me back.

And I told him how I felt alone

How I just needed a hug

And a kiss on the cheek

And told that I was someone worth something

Then he looked at me

His sweet chocolate eyes filled with heartache.

And for some reason, I could tell he understood.

He was like me.

He too was a Facade.

And then he pulled me to the side

Away from a few wandering eyes

And he gently hugged me

And he kissed me lightly on the cheek

"Smile." he whispered as he pulled away.

And so I put on a thin small smile

And he rolled his eyes and gave me a look

"That's not a smile. I mean, a real smile."

And so I smiled a little wider

And my lie got a little bigger

"I know you can smile."

"I can't." And I couldn't.

Agitatedly he stepped back

But he had always been clumsy like me

He tripped over his own feet

I couldn't help it

I let out a low chuckle

Sprawled across the floor he laid

His brown bangs falling into his eyes

I let loose another small giggle

Moving to help him to his feet

He sat up to look at me

"Mission Accomplished." he declared

"What?" I asked confused

"You smiled."

"I guess I did."