Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin.
Warnings: Non-Con. Slave. Possible Rape.

Sorry for the long period of time without and update. Rough time, I moved out from living with my mom and things have just been at an all-time shitty level. I appreciate your patience. u v u

The carriage bounced wildly on the rocky trail, that was my only indication that I was moving and that they were taking me somewhere. Blood caked my shirt and pants, my feet had blisters that had popped and skin rubbed raw all over the soles and my face was littered with fresh bruises. I couldn't see, they'd blindfolded me. I couldn't move, they'd bound me. I couldn't speak, they'd gagged me.

At that moment in time I had a million questions running through my head as I struggled in vain against the ropes that bound me in that carriage. Where am I? Where's Balto? Why are they taking me? Are they going to kill me? Where's Mikasa? Where's father?

I think, looking back on it now, that I knew deep down what had happened, where they were taking me and had known where the rest of my family was. But I still struggled even then, I still thrashed at them wildly when they first released me and I fought when they tried to detain me inside they're little 'home'. I was no longer Eren the second I was thrown in that horrendous cell, they called me something else, something I had never heard of before that time and something I didn't understand; "Whore".

I fought, I refused to eat, I would spit at them and yell at the top of my lungs. I couldn't come to terms with what had happened to my mother and I certainly couldn't come to terms with what was happening to me. They beat me, they starved me, they whipped me, and sometimes they'd do other things, things that I didn't understand, things that made me filthy. Disgusting. But that's what I was, a disgusting whore.

They say that when you're told or called the same thing repeatedly you begin to believe it yourself. I did.

Soon I forgot my name, I forgot how to think, I forgot how to scream and I forgot how to fight. I was a whore, waiting for an owner. I was scum, rotting away in my cell. I was forgotten with only the nightmares plaguing my sleep to remind me of my past.

At that moment in time, I lost a part of me. A part that even to this day I never regained. I thought I was going to lose more, I thought that I was going to break, but then, he came.

It's dark, it's always dark. I lie on my back against the cemented wet floor, looking up at nothing in particular. I'm tired but I can't sleep, today is the day, the day I die.

Balto had warned me at the last auction that I had one more chance to get sold or they would dispose of me. The thought felt warming to be honest. I'd been looking forward to today, counting the days down in my head like a child would their birthday. My eyes shift over to the bars of the cell, waiting for the men to make their appearance and counting the minutes that pass in my head.

When they come, they come with chains. I hear chatter from some of the others within the cell but I'm too giddy to understand it and simply wait for my turn in line.

The chains rattled noisily as they clinked together when the men moved, they latched around my sore and bruised wrists, binding me to the person in front of me. I blink lazily, my eyes unfocused as I'm tugged along, light pouring in from the next room, the shower room.

I've been through this procedure so many times before but I still grimace and shrink in on myself at the sight of the hoses and the men who hold them. They bark at us in words, words I can't understand but I know what they mean. The girl in front of me shakes as she moves with the others to the opposite wall from the men. I stumble behind her, the light burning my eyes, and press my stomach against the wall, my backside facing the men.

Scalding hot water shoots out from their hoses, it burns but I make no sound, they do it more if you cry. I stare down at the floor, teeth clamped on my lower lip as I watch the clear water mix with different colors. Brown, black, red, white and yellow. The water dies down, I hear the groaning and whimpering around me, I'm probably doing it too as they bark at us again. We turn, careful of our chains, and face them. The front is always the worst.

Newcomers scream the most, that's how I know when it's someone's first time. I almost feel bad for them, but I'm too distracted by my own pain. When it's over they bark again and we're led back out, they follow close behind us. I keep my eyes to the floor, too tired and weak to lift it up, as we're led to the big room.

The big room is different than the shower room and our cell, it's big and lit up, it smells nice and there's a big stage. That's where we're supposed to stand. Mr. Balto waits for us impatiently, I can hear him yelling at whoever was in front and suddenly we're pushed along faster.

We're lined up on the stage, staring at the big red blanket in front of us.

Balto walks around, his face slightly red from a cup of wine too many and his bald head just glowing from the light above. He wears his red coat and boots, large stomach protruding out over his pants. His footsteps are heavy and loud as he walks around, his voice light but dark.

He doesn't say anything to me or even so much as look at me when he passes by. He's probably hoping that someone will buy me, or maybe he's hoping the opposite. Maybe it will make him happy to kill me.

He speaks to his men and then we're all forced to our knees, that means the big blanket is about to open up. Balto pulls up his pants and straightens out his coat, clapping his hands as a sign.

The blanket is pulled apart and we see the rest of the room, the tables filled with men and women. The eyes looking us up and down with scrutinizing looks. The money jingling together in pouches. The stench of smoke and alcohol.

I stare blankly, staring almost through them all as I let my mind wander. Only a short amount of time left and then it will all be over with, I'll see mother and father, and I'll see Mikasa. I feel the corner of my mouth quirk upwards at the calming thought.

"Ladies and Gentleman!" Balto calls out, his hands waving dramatically, "Tonight I present to you a fine selection of individuals, I ask only that you do not harass them without means of purchase. You may examine them and ask questions as you may like. If you're interested please call me over and we can negotiate a price"

There's a few cheers from the crowd, I'm used to it. The sound is quickly drowned out as the sound of my heart beating fills my ears. I let my eyes wander across the silhouette of the crowd before slipping shut. I feel so sleepy and tired, I just might fall asleep.

The girl to my right is crying, I can hear her over my heart, it's sad and I ignore it. I ignore the footsteps of someone walking towards her and I ignore how much louder she gets. She's unlucky for being born pretty and nice, that's what I tell myself when someone is picked off first.

I used to be picked off but when I spoke and fought, they'd change their minds. Now, I'm not beautiful, I'm dirty, I'm disgusting and bruised. I'm not me, I'm a monster.

"This one, what's the name". The voice is low and cuts through my silent haven. It was inhumanely sultry and it vibrated, sending shivers down my spine. But worst of all, it was close.

"Rivaille? I haven't caught you in this side of business in a long while, my friend" Balto greets happily, his heavy footsteps coming closer. Too close. I furrow my eyebrows and tell myself that they're for the pretty girl next to me.

"Cut the bullshit. His name" The voice repeats, agitation clinging to it. 'His', me, they're talking about me. I force my eyelids to open, ready to glare at the trespasser of my peace, of my death. But any thoughts that I might have get short circuited in my head when I see him.

His silver eyes are locked on mine in an glare that swam with both disgust and longing. His features were sharp yet mature, but with no wrinkles or blemishes marking his porcelain skin. His hair was a foreign raven color and was cut in a military style with the lower half buzzed and the upper falling and framing his face. He's wearing clothing of the likes that I have never seen before; A large grey overcoat clung to his upper half, extending down to his knees, and showed no mercy in showing just how built he was underneath. Dark jeans disappeared under knee high black boots that shone in the flickering lights above us. It looked as if they'd been polished ten thousand times too many with angels tears.

"Eren is his name" Balto replies shifting his gaze to look at me in plain disgust. Is that my name? I furrow my eyebrows in thought, it sounded familiar.

"Eren?" the man pronounces, his mouth making some sort of odd clicking sound and then it really sounded familiar, Eren, yes that was my name, that is my name.

"He's a foreigner from Shiganshina" Balto tells him, detaching his greedy eyes away from me, "A virgin as well"

"I'll give you twenty gold, no less" the ravenette says, looking me up and down in some sort of unknown sparked curiosity.

"But he's a vir-"

"He's filthy, smells like shit, underfed, and illegal. You can't possibly tell me otherwise. Twenty gold" The man cuts him off with a wave of his hand.

I want to growl out, to respond, to say something, anything. But my body is too tired and my mind can't seem to form any sentences much less words.

Balto seems to weigh his options, watching me for some sort of reaction but getting none, he lets out a long withheld sigh.

"You've got a deal" There's the tell-tale jingling of money deposited in Balto's hand that signals that my fate has been decided.

I'm stiff as men come up behind me, the weight on my wrists disappearing. My head spins as I'm forced to my feet, everything blurring together somewhat.

"Have your thugs escort him out to my carriage, he looks like he can barely stand on his own two feet, if you can even call them that" I can't tell if he's disgusted or pleased by his voice, it almost sounds the same.

They're careful not to shove me, no they're really gentle as they take me outside. It's cold and I let out a shaky noise when the air hits me, one of them laughs. It smells so nice out here, it feels so cold but I don't mind it right now.

There's a slamming noise and I'm being shoved towards a big box on wheels, the man from before is standing impatiently by the side with crossed arms. When we get closer I realize that I'm a bit taller than him but not by much, for some reason it makes me feel a bit better.

"Stop" the man, Rivaille, commands, and the men pushing me stop. I stare down dizzily at him as he unbuttons his nice jacket, he has a white shirt on underneath it, "Put this on him, I'm not having his filthy ass touch my seats."

"Yes, sir" the men agree through clenched teeth. My arms are tugged and I almost fall when the coat is on me, it's so heavy. It's a bit baggy in the arms and it doesn't do much to cover my legs, but everything else is warm; I want to lay down and sleep.

I don't say anything as I'm hauled up into the carriage, I fall back into one of the seats, my head knocking painfully against a wooden frame for a window like feature on the opposite side but I don't really care at this point.

I stare absentmindedly up at the night sky, at all the stars the shine and twinkle against the black darkness.

'Do you see them Eren? They shine for you every night, they keep the monsters away just like mommy does and even if mommy isn't there to help you, know that they're trying their hardest too alright? They're fighting for you, Eren, you need to fight for them too'

The twinkling lights get blurry and my face is wet, but I don't have the energy to reach up and wipe at it.

I'm not dead. I should be dead. I want to be dead. I want to be with mother. I don't want to fight anymore.

The last thing I see is Rivaille peering out the window at the sky too, I don't remember him climbing in the moving box and I don't remember us start to move, but I do remember seeing his silver eyes searching the stars, as if he were trying to find what I had found.

The rocking of the carriage and the twinkling starlight lulls me to sleep, and I forget about mother, Balto and Rivaille. For a short while longer, I can pretend to be dead again.

"Dear god, he's a sack of bones"

"Water. Bath. Now"

"How old is he? What's his name?"

"Young and Eren, now do as I said"

"Where the hell did you even get this kid, he weighs less than a sheet of paper and he's colored all over...fuck Levi, I didn't really take you as the feed the homeless type much less take them home"

"Please, spare me. It's late, I want him bathed and put in my extra room, you can experiment and ask questions tomorrow, four-eyes"

"Please tell me you brought him here and that you're asking me to take him to 'that' room because you found this boy on the streets and it sparked a tiny fire in you ice cold heart. please tell me it isn't what I think it is"

"Goodnight, Hanji"

"Levi!"

I shoot up in my bed, sweat beading down my forehead and my head pounding loudly. There's a ringing noise in my ears and at first I can't see anything, it's all so bright. But then, my eyes begin to adjust.