Chapter 8

Elsa

Elsa paced outside her sister's room, wringing her hands worriedly. The servants had come to her not long ago, and she had rushed to meet Anna. At first, she was upset with her – no proper lady should have been out that late with anyone. Better yet, she should have had better judgment than racing down a muddy path on the back of a horse. And now all Elsa felt was worried and afraid.

She didn't want to go in, so she stood outside the door, much like Anna had done in their younger years. She stood there, waiting for some sign to go inside. Night had fallen and the servants had all but doused the candles. Elsa had dismissed them once she knew her sister was in no danger. It was a nasty hit to the head, but nothing time wouldn't heal.

Thunder still boomed in the distance and rain pelted against the windows. There hadn't been a summer storm like this in quite some time; it was a reminder that winter wasn't too far away.

Lightning flashed through the halls and with a defeated sigh Elsa turned the doorknob and peeked inside the room. A low fire was burning, casting a small light on Anna's face. It was hard to tell if she were awake, so Elsa crept into the room as quietly as she could. She wanted to see her sister was asleep before leaving her to be.

Anna lay with a wrap around her head, her head turned away from the fire light. One small scuffle of Elsa's feet and Anna turned to look at her, eyes slightly open.

"Elsa?"

Elsa stopped in her tracks. "Just making sure you're all right."

"I'm fine," Anna said, sounding tired nonetheless. "The only other thing hurt is my dignity. I'll be up in no time."

"You gave the servants quite the fright."

"I know." A pregnant pause crept up between the two of them. "How is Hans?"

"He's staying in the spare bedroom. I'll deal with him tomorrow."

"Over dinner?"

The thought of dining with a stranger made her insides clench. "We'll see," she said, her breath coming out in an icy visible haze. She was losing control again. "Good night, Anna." She didn't pause to hear if her sister responded. She went out and shut the door behind her with a resounding click, then headed off to the stables.

The stables. Far from the castle but remote enough from the village she had nothing to worry about. Sleep would elude her that night, so better yet to take a walk to where she felt comfortable. The storm was still billowing outside and she grabbed a thick cloak to block out the rain during the journey.

She couldn't explain it. For most of her life she had lived enclosed to her room, yet during these past few days there had been a sense of claustrophobia setting in. The walls were closing in, reminding her she could no longer hide. People occupied her halls and kingdom and the only place they didn't occupy were the stables. It was a freedom to get away.

The guards let her pass and she let them know in few words where she was headed, and they needn't worry, and she went on her way down the long bridge. The fjord's angry waters splashed against the bridge, causing small puddles to form here and there on the bridge. Her boots were more than protective enough against the elements; they had survived many of her frantic snow outbursts in her room.

The stable dark and unlit, she fumbled around for the door knob and cranked it open, then moved to light the one candle she remembered to bring. It was exactly the same as it had been on the coronation night – completely void of human life. Except for the man, Kristoff, and he hadn't spread anything about her powers. She wasn't worried on that front.

In fact, she was a little excited to see if he was there. She slowly drifted down the stables, hesitating a bit before the empty stall, then peeked in.

And there he was lying on the haystack, his reindeer awake with his beady eyes locked on her. Kristoff mumbled something and sat up, his hair a frizzled mess with a couple of hay stuck in his hair. Once he caught sight of her he shot up, dusting himself off and running a hand through his hair.

"You do know these are the royal stables?" Elsa said, lifting an eyebrow. "You could get caught."

"It's a good thing that I have someone such as you to vouch for me when I do," Kristoff said, finished dusting himself off. He reached over and scratched his reindeer behind the ear. "To what do I owe this pleasure at this late hour?"

"I'm not here to see you. I'm here to be alone."

"Right, of course." He motioned to an intact haystack for her to sit down on, which she did.

Awkward silence filled the air and Kristoff cleared his throat. "So… I hear your sister is courting someone."

"Courting?"

"She and that prince."

Elsa's stomach clenched even tighter and she bit her lips to keep from exploding. She didn't want to hurt Kristoff again.

Kristoff shifted, holding up a hand at her uneasiness. "Perhaps I misunderstood."

"They're not," Elsa ground out. "They have to get my approval first."

"Okay."

"Besides, he took her out riding today and came back with her bloody and bruised."

"What?" Kristoff practically shouted.

Elsa shrugged. "She fell off her horse and hit her head. Prince Hans rushed her home and apologized, and I'm supposed to deal with him tomorrow."

"Oh."

"I just want him gone," she muttered, twiddling her thumbs. "He's ruining everything."

"Ruining or just changing things to normal?" Kristoff sighed. "Not that I know anything about normal. I sleep in barns."

"And I sleep in a castle."

"Yes and you've been hidden from the world for quite some time. It's hard to say what normal is, but now that you're queen, you definitely have some say so in what's normal. I mean, you rule Arendelle. What you say is law."

"Not everything. My board of advisors helps my decisions. They say it's making Arendelle practical. Normal, I guess, just like any other kingdom."

"Well… that's not exactly my area. But maybe it's time for a change."

Elsa didn't agree but she couldn't disagree either. "I should go." She paused near the stall door, her fingers on the handle. "I'm grateful you haven't told anyone about me."

"It's not my secret to tell."

"Still. It's been awhile since anyone has known."

"Aren't you lonely?"

"Aren't you?" Elsa responded sadly, then left him behind, wrapping her large cloak around her. She would sleep, or try to, and then face Hans in the morning.

The next morning the sun was shining through the window, warming Elsa's face as she woke up. One wouldn't have guessed it was dark and stormy the day before. She took her time getting prepared that morning, taking an extra long bath and letting her hair dry in the sunlight. Her dress was like any other dress; a deep blue long sleeved shirt, a cinched black bodice and a dark blue skirt with white rosmaling near the hem. The extra clothing didn't even help prevent her from unleashing magic, but she liked to think it did.

The gloves were a reminder of what she could do; her father had made it crucial she wear gloves, no exceptions. She owned more gloves than one could need, nestled away in a drawer. A gift from her father every single birthday, every single small business trip.

They were a bleak reminder of him and the set of conflicting emotions she had of him. He was always calm and collected, but… distant. In truth it had been her that created the distance, but he had been the one who hadn't questioned it.

She couldn't remember the last time she hugged him or her mother. Or Anna, for that matter. She supposed it didn't matter at that moment. Nothing really did except her keeping a control of her powers. That's all that mattered.

Though she wasn't sure she could control herself around Hans. She wanted to berate him for what he did, but in truth, it was as much as his fault as Anna's. Both of them needed to be reminded of what it was to be nobles; they had a responsibility.

When she walked into the throne room she nearly faltered at the sight of Anna and Hans standing before her chair, holding hands. They hadn't noticed her, but they were making their intentions blunt now. Anna stood with a smile on her face as ever, her head bandaged with a small cloth. Hans was playing with the white strand in her hair, making a comment Elsa couldn't hear.

Elsa cleared her throat and strode in the room, praying she wouldn't mess this up. At the sight of her approaching the two lovebirds dropped their hand holding, yet still looked flushed and… happy. Elsa didn't like it.

"Queen Elsa," Hans bowed, a low, deep bow.

"Prince Hans. Anna." Elsa sighed, wanting her beating heart to calm itself. "I trust you two understand how much trouble you could have been in."

"We do." Anna nodded her head firmly. "And we fully regret what we did. But we have come to ask for your blessing." She giggled and grabbed Hans hand, pulling him close to her.

"We intend to court each other, as is proper," Hans said, looking down at her with a lopsided grin. "I understand my actions yesterday weren't so wise, but I wish you to know we did not mean to come back the way we did. The storm caught us unaware, and we were waiting for it to pass. We were foolish enough to race down the hill, and at that, Anna was injured." Hans cleared his throat, and took a step forward closer to Elsa. "So I ask you to give me another chance, and I swear I'll go about this right this time. You know of my intentions. You know of where I'm from, my family. I just ask you give me, us, a chance."

Elsa had to admire his determination, but something about him didn't sit right with her. The way Anna looked at him with love clear in her eyes – was it love or plain foolishness? A simple fancy that would fade in time? What did her sister know about love?

Elsa sighed. Surely not more than she herself did.

"Elsa?" Anna prodded in a small voice. "We want your blessing, and that's all."

"What if I don't give it?"

Slight hurt passed across Anna's face, but she didn't respond. She probably didn't know how, figuring Elsa would give them her blessing no matter what.

Anna hadn't thought this through. But then again, a courtship was a long process. There would be plenty of time for Anna to figure out what she needed. "I'm not your mother, Anna," Elsa began. "And I will never be. I'm the queen, yes, but I'm also just your sister. I can't control your actions, and I can't keep you locked up forever. I will give you my blessing, only on one condition: that you take time." She flicked her eyes to Hans. "The same goes for you, prince Hans. You have a duty as a prince to be wise about this, and I want you to treat my sister well. What happened yesterday will not happen again, and if it does, I may have another word to say about my blessing."

"You have my word I'll treat Anna with love and respect," Hans said, bowing once more. "Thank you."

"Oh, Elsa!" Anna stepped forward as if to give Elsa a hug, then seemed to remember who she was dealing with. She awkwardly dropped her hands to her side. "You have no idea what this means to me. Thank you."

Elsa had had enough and turned to leave. "I do have an idea what it means," she said quietly, then went on her way.

She was unnerved, slightly disturbed, and ready to ice something deliberately, which was something she didn't admit often. With a quickened pace and the air freezing around her as she went, she ran, practically diving into her room and kicking the door shut behind her.

Ice snaked across the ground from where she was standing, slicking over the carpets and up the walls with the windows shaking as a blast of icy wind blew past.

Leaning against the door, Elsa whacked an angry fist against the door. She was better than this. She could control it. She was a better queen than this.

She wouldn't cry.

Sniffling, she moved to build a fire, stacking it high with the wood she always kept in stock. She would wait for the ice to melt so she could mop it up once more, as she always did. It was an embarrassment for her. She wished she could clean it up once she created the ice, but the ice never obeyed her. It had a mind of its own, only letting itself shown when Elsa didn't want it.

She kept to her room the full day, trying to lose herself in a book, but coming up with nothing. With an angry huff she tossed it aside on the bed and decided to go for a quick walk, the ice not having melted all the way just yet. She had set several rags on the floor here and there, but the ice was uneven and thicker in some parts.

The castle was lit with candles by then, night having once again fallen while she wasn't paying attention. More than often her blinds were closed, except for the rare circumstances where she forgot to close them.

She thought of the words Kristoff had asked her last night. Are you lonely?

She was. Terribly lonely, and now that Anna was distracted by someone else… the next few months were going to be torture. If she and Hans eventually married…

It was almost too much. She couldn't survive that long without somebody knowing about her, and that somebody was probably sleeping in the stables again. She had to find a way for him to stick close, but, as queen, she shouldn't find that task too difficult. There were plenty of jobs out there for Kristoff to have within the castle – it would create an opportunity for her to have someone who know about her powers. Someone who knew to keep their distance.

The stables were empty that night when she checked in, so she waited in the stall. Surely Kristoff would agree to work in the castle. Surely-

"All right, ice lady, I'm beginning to think you're jealous of my bed," Kristoff said, arms crossed on top of the stall and an amused expression on his face.

"I have a proposition for you," Elsa said, standing up and dusting the hay off her skirt. "I want to offer you the position of Ice Master and Deliverer."

"That's not a thing," he chuckled.

"Yes, it is."

"No, it's not. I would know."

"You think I wouldn't know?" Elsa now crossed her arms. "I know. And I want you to live in the servant quarters. I can have a private room set for you, and you can live there for free. You wouldn't have to sleep in a barn."

Now Kristoff looked conflicted. "You barely know me, and you're offering me – what, a job? For the queen? I get to live in the castle?"

"Somewhat. And yes, I'm being selfish. You know about me. You know about my powers. The men on the council… I don't know what they would do when they found out about my powers. I just need someone I can trust and.." Elsa shrugged. "… Anna and Hans have stated they wish to court."

"Have they," Kristoff muttered, kicking a random puff of hay on the ground. He looked disappointed.

"You'll be paid well. And Sven can stay in these stables all he wants."

Kristoff shrugged. "What the hell. I can't pass this up. I just hope you don't expect me to save you all the time – ice can take awhile to harvest. It's not an easy job, and I'm usually out for a couple days."

"I understand that."

"One question, though. Why won't you let your sister in on your little secret? Wouldn't it make everything easier?"

"You'd think so." Elsa looked away. "I injured her terribly when we were younger, on accident. She lost her memory of her me, and I lost control of my magic. It's spiraling out of control all the more, and once people know… they get too close and I'll hurt them."

Kristoff looked contemplative, then shrugged. "You're the one who knows you best. But I just hope you're doing the right thing."

Elsa pulled on the hood of her cloak and moved past him to head back to the castle. "I'll arrange this tomorrow, so stick around. You'll receive your summons to the castle, and there I'll be able to grant you the title of Ice Master and Deliverer." She walked towards the stable door and pulled on the heavy wooden door.

"That's still totally not a thing!" he shouted after her.