Hey, guys!

Okay, so, obviously, updates are irregular, which I'm sure you could tell since each time I post a new chapter, the time span in between gradually grows longer. Sorry.

Nearly a year and only 2000 words. Sorry.

You guys are really supportive and I really appreciate it. I re-read the reviews all the time and your love of the story never ceases to amaze me. If you're reading this now, thanks for sticking with me for this long.

I love you!

Reviews at the bottom

Lucy sat crossed - legged in front of the water, enjoying the rare peace she was being granted. She wasn't really doing much with the scarce, unknown amount of time that remained, just dragging her fingers along the water's edge and basking in the morning's dawn. She hadn't gone home yet and was still wearing the same jeans and sweatshirt as she had been the day before, but the scenery had looked too beautiful to pass up, so calm and inviting without the annoying residents of Magnolia wandering around. She sighed a breath, smelling the tranquility that existed only in the early hours and silent mind.

She'd left a note for Master Makarov, thanking him for watching over her while she slept, and had set the small scrap of parchment to the left of his snoring form, which was bent over his desk in what looked like a rather uncomfortable position. She had considered moving the small old man to the couch, but prefered not not wake him. After all, he needed rest, too. He was most likely up most of the night stressing about her, no doubt. And it's probably in my best interest to make for a clean escape, instead of waking him and having to carry on some sort of coversation in response to all his incoherent mumblings and drool gurglings, she had thought then, but now she was feeling what she assumed was regret because Makarov was going to wake up in a world of pain due to whatever awkward posture he had adopted throughout the night.

She wasn't aware of who carried her up the stairs and into the Master's office, nor was she truly worried about finding out. She was fairly certain it wasn't Makarov, though. He wasn't stupid; he knew he couldn't carry her, much less up the stairs. She also didn't know how much attention might be directed to her at her return, given the fact that she had been rendered unconscious before being able to tell if anyone out of her circle of friends (Family? Aquaintences? People?) had seen the event through their hazy, alcohol - induced states of bliss and happiness.

She wouldn't trouble herself over it now, though. She would spend this time without the usual internal torment as peacefully as she could. Who knew when she'd receive something as great as silence again?

The sun was trailing behind the tall buildings that resided in the town, slowly but steadily rising and bathing everything in a shimmering, red - orange light. From the right angle, dust particles in the air could be seen, moving as the wind pushed them along, looking like floating sparkles, each leaving their own trail of fairy dust to marvel at. The trees were as beautiful as the flowers, all radiating a healthy green aura that blended into the world, their leaves seemingly painted a pinkish gold tint. It was all so mesmerizing. But, to Lucy, the most amazing view was the water.

It was gorgeous, the way the red rays of the sun reflected and would fade to a pink and to an orange and to a yellow across the liquid expansion all while maintaining its original strong, clear blue. The ripples she made as she traced her fingertips along the color stained surface only added to the magnificent artwork that nature itself displayed, swirling small waves of coloration in an alluring way, as if the tones of the dyed river were dancing slowly and intimately, and she watched as each hue mingled with one another. The entirety of it was breathtaking, so wonderful as to make one forget everything. It was like a dream one would never want to wake from, like the first taste of happiness on your tongue and never wanting such an enticing flavor to leave.

She sat for hours, still tracing her fingers in the beauty that was the water, not thinking of anything in particular. Just listening to the early birds and their cawing children, feeling the sun on her skin travel higher into the sky, and inhaling the sweet tasting oxygen in the destructionless world that existed during the hours that humans were at rest, only rising from her spot on the cobblestone street at the first sight of bustling townspeople.

She didn't really need to go home. She had her keys and Jewels, so she could really go back to the guild and pretend she had been there the whole time. It wasn't out of character for her to stay at the guild past it's open hours, anymore. Though, she thought. I am running out and the pharmacy's on the way to the guild anyway.

-/-

A few days later...

She foregoes her ritual of morning drinking — just this once — in favor of watching Mira wipe down the expanse of the counter from her side of the bar. Not being inebriated and therefore having the ability to focus on the details of things for long periods of time, Cana thought the movements were hypnotic; every motion executed with the same amount of purpose as the last. It was calming, equanimous. For herself, at least. She knew that Mira was anything but either.

Since she was a kid, Cana had always seen Mira doing something. It didn't matter what it was as long as it occupied her, kept her busy. Fighting and competing with Erza when they were younger, or taking missions before she retired as S-class, or cleaning. That was what she did. It was her way of keeping her mind off of the things she couldn't afford to think about, a way of temporarily disinfecting her head.

And she was doing it now.

"Is there a reason you're cleaning so early? No one's even ordered anything yet."

Her head snaps up as Cana's voice brings her back to reality and Mira nervously laughs before answering. "Oh, I'm just getting a head start, is all."

"Sure."

They're both quiet after that.

"Hey, guys," Lisanna beams, skipping over from her table to the bar, breaking silence between the two, and leaving Natsu, Erza, and Gray to converse by themselves.

Cana mumbles a greeting and Mira gives her sister a weary smile that turns somewhat into a grimace part way through and says a hello, putting her wet rag to the side and giving Lisanna her full attention.

"That's your 'pretend your not worrying' face. What's wrong? What are you worried about?," Lisanna's face turns inquisitive and she looks at Cana for an explanation. "What has she been worrying about?"

Cana shrugs, not in the mood and now completely regretting her decision of sobriety. Mira quickly jumps in to answer and plays it down well with a light laugh. "Nothing's wrong, Lisanna. Everything's fine."

Lisanna opens her mouth to retort, but is interrupted by the opening and closing of one of the guild doors and the appearance of Lucy, who pays no mind to anyone and walks straight up to the request board.

"Well, she looks focused today," Cana says. "Her rent must be due some time soon."

She looks back at Mira, who looks as if an invisible weight has just lifted itself from her chest. Cana offers a reassuring smile that had an 'I told you so' feel to it. "See? She's fine! Nothing to worry about."

Lisanna spins around and asks, "Why would you be worrying about Lucy? Seriously, just tell me what's wrong!"

"There isn't anything wrong. Everything is normal, just like it usually is," Mira reaffirms and Cana rolls her eyes. Though Mira would never verbalize it, Cana knew she was probably cursing her in her head, thinking something along the lines of:

You haven't even touched alcohol today, yet you could convince anybody you're heavily intoxicated with just your actions, you stupid, damned drunkard!

Mira shoots her a warning look as soon as Lisanna's back is turned, reinforcing Cana's prediction. Cana rolls her eyes again and, in spite of herself and her foretelling, grins a small bit.

Spot on.

Her grin fades as her eyes land on Lisanna, who's standing still and looking lost as she watches Lucy. "Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah," Lisanna tears her gaze away and her sapphire orbs focus on Cana. "Yeah. Just — Never mind."

"No, tell us. What is it?" Mira urged.

"I — just — Look, I know I've only been back for a little while, but Lucy seems… different than how she was when you all came to Edolas compared to how she is in the guild now — to me, anyway. And I know I don't know her or anything, but —" she groans, exasperated at how her thoughts sounded to herself, "I don't know."

They absorb her confession for a few awkward moments and Cana says, "Wait, so, you don't know Lucy?"

"Well, I know her, but I don't really know her."

"Have you talked to her since you got back? You're at the guild, like, all the time."

Lisanna avoids their eyes and bows her head down slightly. "No, I know. I should've talked to her already. She probably thinks I don't like her or something." Mira goes through the separating gate of the bar and rests a reassuring hand on Lisanna's bicep.

Cana's seen Mira do this many times before, and experienced the performance quite a few times herself, but she could watch it a thousand times more and it would never grow old. This magic she has — not her real magic, of course, but Cana liked to think that this power of pure, nearly unconditional love and acceptance and forgiveness and tolerance she wields from her seemingly unprotected heart was a form of magic, and a spectacular one, at that — it's unlike anything she's ever witnessed.

Mira's kind, endlessly deep blue eyes are an ocean and anyone would find it difficult not getting lost in them, the touch — the physical contact — bound you to her, showed you that you weren't alone, and her smile had a way of convincing you that everything was going to be okay. She was like a hypnotist. An amazing one. You couldn't help but believe her.

"I'm sure that's not true. And if it is, you're not the only one to blame. She hasn't tried to speak to you, either." Lisanna melted right into the assurance, not unlike anyone else.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." She hugs her older sister. "I should probably go talk to her, then. Thanks, Mira."

Cana watches as Mira's eyes widen and she immediately recognizes the look in her eyes. It was the 'I'm planning something' face, a face to be wary of. Or, at least in Cana's case(s). That face got her in all kinds of trouble when they were kids. But she supposes she can't help that now, so she takes a deep breath and downs a swig of invisible scotch from her invisible glass and holds onto the rest of her invisible sanity with a death grip because there's never been a time where Mira's worn that look and had a plan pull through correctly.

"Perhaps you and Lucy could take a mission together. I have to be honest, I've been a little concerned about her myself. She doesn't really talk to anyone anymore, guild or not. Maybe you could get her to talk to you?"

Cana had to admit, that was quick thinking. But she also had to admit that as brilliant as this plan was, it could just as easily fall through.

"Of course." Lisanna smiled determinedly and left for the request board, her confidence dwindling with each step.

"That was clever," Cana compliments Mira as the woman returns to her place behind the bar. Mira finally let's doubt seep into her features, frantically searching for support in Cana's eyes. "Do you think it'll work?"

A piercing shout rings throughout the guild hall before Cana can answer. Needless to say, everyone's attention is now on the commotion.

"LISANNA, YOU'RE GOING ON A MISSION WITHOUT US?" Natsu comes barrelling towards the request board. "Take me with you!"

Happy flies up and lands on the Dragon Slayer's shoulder, furry arms crossed, a 'seriously?!' expression written across his muzzle. Natsu sweat drops and then amends, "Take /us/ with you!"

"Please, Lisanna," the blue cat begs. Natsu echoes him.

"It's not up to me, guys. It's Lucy's mission." Natsu and Happy fall to their knees, hands clasped beneath their faces, which were both hopeful. Cana almost thought they'd cry if the blonde refused to invite them.

Lucy opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted by the clanging of metal, resulting in two cries of pain from the grovellers. Erza had smacked the both of them upside the head. "Have you no shame? Get up!"

They did, telling her that they did, in fact, have no shame. "Now, I'm sure Lucy has no qualms with you two accompanying Lisanna and herself, so there's no reason to cause such a scene."

"Yes, Ma' am. Of course, Ma' am," Natsu and Happy respond unnecessarily while nodding. When they continue to nod afterwards, Erza's metal clad fingers find purchase in Natsu's pink hair and jerks his head to a stop. A small shriek of fear exits his mouth.

"Yeah, you guys can come. Just don't destroy anything. It's a security job," Lucy says, shattering the tense air. "If we leave at noon, we should make there on time."

Erza releases Natsu's hair from her grip and smiles. "Have a safe trip, you four." Lucy nods.

"Wait, why don't you and Gray come, too?" Lisanna asks Erza.

Titania turns to Lucy with a smile. "If you'd have us, we'd be glad to join you."

"Yeah, sure, whatever. We all have to get our stuff packed or we're going to be late." Lucy starts heading towards the doors. "We'll meet at the train station."

"WHAT?! CAN'T WE JUST WALK!?" Another metal clang, then whimpering.

"Lucy said we leave at noon, so get packing," Gray says as he follows the blonde out of the guild. Cana admires how he managed to control his urge to insult Natsu and escape the ordeal unscathed. Then, she turns back to Mira.

"My answer: no."

Walking Dreamer:

I am crying right now. This truly shows an aspect of what happens in a person's mind while suffering from mental illness. I'm not sure if that was what your are going for but that's what it came out to be. This is real stuff, I can tell you that! I have been through what Lucy is going through right now in this story and I survived. I was weeks from not surviving it though. I almost committed suicide and no one new until I came out and told them about it. It's a really hard thing to write. I am in love with this story. Please keep going. It makes me so happy to see someone share this. I will be waiting for the next chapter.

I am so glad that you could relate to this on a personal level. I mean, I'm sorry you had to go through all this kind of stuff, but I'm glad I could illustrate it in a way you could relate. In all honesty, when I first started the story, I was writing about...me, I guess. Depression, ya know. I was stuck for quite a while, but I'm climbing myself out of that dark pit of nothing. I'm elated at your survival and I appreciate that you felt comfortable enough to confide these things in a public review (or, in which case, you'd rather not have it public. If so, PM me and I'll take it down as soon as I possibly can). It may be slow going, but I will continue this until the very end. Thank you for supporting me and reading! I hope more people, like you, are able to relate to this and feel just a little bit less alone :)

PrettyStarsInTheSky:

Please more! It looks so great! I really want to know the rest of the story!

The chapter updates from now on are officially irregular, not that they weren't before, considering how sporadically I posted. I want to know the rest of the story, too! Really, I'm just making things up as I go along :P Thanks for reading and your support!

KlausMikelson:

wow, so Makarov, Mira, and Cana are the only ones who notice that something is wrong? poor Lucy. if I had a voice inside my head that was actually talking to me, I would go crazy, I mean who wouldn't

Yep. Technically, we all have a voice in our heads that talks to us, so we are all crazy. By technicality. XD Thanks for reading and your support!

Demonmiko14:

B*** CLAP THE SOUND OF MY HEART AS I READ ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND BOOM CLAP THIS MAKES ME FEEL GOOD, KEEP WRITING MORE KEEP WRITING MORE NOW! yes i am a nerd. I have realized this. Please update sooon you genius you.

Lol. Nerd, you may be, but me a genius? I think that's stretching it. Finally, an update... almost a year later. SORRY! Also, sorry The Voice wasn't in this one. I know how you love it. Thanks for reading and supporting me!

skylightblaze:

Wow. Just simply, wow.

This story is AMAZING!

Please continue!

Thanks! I plan on it. Thanks for reading and supporting me!

HellsBloodyAngel:

Is it bad that I enjoy the thought of something dark going on inside Lucy's mind when she acts happy all the time? I enjoy your story and in my opinion, it's very well written. I can't wait for the next chapters!

I don't think it's bad. But I'm a slut for angst and dark stuff like that, so I'm probably not an ideal opinion on the matter. Lol. Next chapters will probably be up in a few millennia. Thanks for reading and supporting me!

Guest:

:I really like this story! It's one of the best fanfics I've read in a long time. I would love to see more

I'm glad I could be on list of best fics. Eventually, I'll get my shit together and write some more chapters up...hopefully. Until then, I fare thee well. Thanks for reading and supporting me!

nawdah:

I don't know why I'm crying! But I am very moved by your story. I've been a fan of these types of stories for quite a while now. Can't wait for the next chapter! .

As weird as it sounds, I'm glad you're crying. Moving people was not something I planned on, but I'm certainly glad I did. Here's your chapter! Thanks for reading and supporting me!

:

Ooh~ interesting. Its not all that cliche but more original and I like it. I wanna see what you're referring to in chapter 2 also where Mira is gonna regret waiting to see if Lucy will be fine and what the rest of the guild will think of all this. I say keep this story going. Dont hold back on us. :D

I'm glad you like it. Also glad that I'm making you ask yourself questions 3:) . I don't plan on stopping. Thanks for reading and supporting me!

And, as always, thanks to everyone who like or favorited me or the story!

Love you all!