Varrick's head was pounding, his heart beating, his thoughts darkening. He had never felt so helpless. He had never been alone like that, never since Zhu Li joined him a lifetime ago, much less had he been betrayed by her Angry, sad, disappointed, he felt most of all alone. He had been moved to a smaller room that had no ceiling trap and of course no Zhu Li who would come rescue him. Sitting on the bed with his head in his hands, he felt like a pathetic loser.

Should he have seen it coming? He had never thought he would lose his ever faithful assistant, his first and best supporter, his other half of sorts. Yet she had denied him, called him a fool and probably thought even worse of him than she would say. Zhu Li wanted no more to do with him and he would not get her back. She was gone, gone for good. He had heard pledge allegiance to Kuvira the crazy. There was no turning back from that.

He had never known for sure where Zhu Li stood exactly, where her loyalty came from, but it seemed vain to wonder at that now that she would never be by his side again. She had called him a fool and in truth, that was how he felt. She had been right about him. He was nothing compared to Kuvira. At least Zhu Li had made the right decision for her by leaving him. She would be safer with the Great Uniter. Worry for himself, he might, but if Zhu Li was in Kuvira's good books, he had no fear for her life. The thought made him feel slightly better.

Maybe he did have a conscience after all. There he was, thinking about someone else's well being! The other thought, unbidden, came that none of this would have happened if he had cared for Zhu Li more and shown it better. In truth, thinking back about everything she had done for him, he had never appreciated it, never enough. It was dawning on him now, and he felt overridden by guilt. He was guilty of being an utter fool who not only lost his only partner in crime and managed to get himself locked up in the process, but moreover slighted her and hurt her with his attitude. He should have been thankful, he should have, but the past was as it was and he groaned in frustration.

He simply could not get her out of his thoughts. Memories came swarming into his mind. How completely devote she had been all this time. And to think she had thought him a genius at some point! He couldn't be, though, not when he missed something as huge as that. He wanted nothing more than to go back in time and cover Zhu Li with praise and loving kindness.

He sat right up, his eyes widening, rubbing his chin, not quite believing what his mind had brought him to think. Love for Zhu Li? Another thought came, just as unbidden as the first, that just this morning, he had had her on top of him, happy and smiling, thinking he was her hero. He knew he was no hero, how could he when he was locked up like a vulgar criminal, but maybe, just maybe, if he had responded to her smiles instead of yelling at her, if things had gone smoothly, she might not have left him. He should have been attentive. Only now did he see that they had had the perfect set up for a kiss. Fool, fool, fool. Maybe, if he had waited even a second instead of bossing her around, she would have kissed him, her valiant hero who saved her from a dangerous fall. Or maybe he should have kissed her. It wouldn't be so bad, kissing Zhu Li, nay, opposite: it would be amazing. He cursed himself for only thinking that now, for only feeling grateful once it was too late.

In truth, if he ever saw Zhu Li again, and the thought felt like a stab in the heart that he might not, he would need to grovel at her feet and beg for forgiveness. He would not get her back, not in the same way as before, but his newly found conscience would feel less heavy. A kiss would never happen, though, that train was long gone, missed and forgotten. It was true what they said: you only realize how much you need and love something once you miss it because you lost it. And Varrick loved his Zhu Li. Lying on his bed, he closed his eyes and dreamt of hugs and kisses.