This story is a bit different. It is strange and odd and I'm not sure how many people will like it. But it kept running through my head so I had to write it down. I'm not sure where it will take me, but I hope you all enjoy it.

I will post about once a week, and I'm thinking it will be less than ten chapters. I'm not sure though since I'm not done writing. I'm seeing where it takes me.

a/n: beta'd by MadJo33 as of 11/8/14

re: edited 2/10/15

1

My paws dig into the dirt giving me leverage as I race across the cool ground. I lift my head up to the sky and breathe in and the slight scent of decomposing leaves, the tangy saltiness of the ocean, and the dusky odor of small prey is brought into my lungs filling me until I release once more.

I used to be human. I think I still am, but after all this time I've forgotten how to change back. That time seems more like a dream.

In my dream I lived on the outskirts of a small village in Russia. I had a family, two older brothers and a younger sister and brother. My dad was a carpenter, he made things out of wood for our village like cabinets, shutters, doors; even little trinkets one would give to their lovers. My brother's helped my father in the shop, and us girls kept the house up and did errands. My little sister Akilina tried to help, but usually her attempts were in vain. At the young age of three her hands often caused more good than bad.

We were different from the villagers, we always had been. We lived in the woods, unlike most who preferred the safety and numbers of the town. Father always warned us to never tell anyone how different we were. Every night after we prayed over sup he made sure to press this, staring each of us in the eye.

"Never speak of this outside our home." The command was clear and to the point.

Akilina didn't mean to do it, she didn't realize what she was saying. She began talking about the moon to one of the vendors I left her with, telling him how magical it was and how she always felt the need to call to it. I hurried over to get her, attempting to excuse her words using the pretext of a child's fantasies. Those words from Akilina were all it took. Our village had been suspicious of us since my grandfather moved here almost half a century back with three sons and no wife, sticking to the shadows and refusing to join in their merriment in the evenings.

That night the villagers came to our house with flaming sticks, throwing them onto our house as we slept and chanting that we were demon worshipers. Akilina didn't make it, the smoke too rough on her tiny lungs. My older brothers were the first to race out of the house. The villagers grabbed and held them down, their shouts of pain echoing into the darkness of the night. My mother rushed out after them and faced the same fate as they. Father knew what they were going to do them, I could see it in his eyes. He told me and my little brother Gavrie to run out the back while he distracted them and don't look back, never look back.

We did. We couldn't help it.

We rushed into the cold snow with our teeth shattering and tears freezing to our cheeks. Gavrie led me to a cave our older brothers had shown him and we hid huddled together waiting for papa. Once daylight hit we could no longer listen to what he told us, impatient to see the end result of the night. We quietly walked back to the house, our footprints already erased by a blanket of snow, and searched for whatever was left of our family.

When we got there everyone was gone. Our home was burned to the ground, the fire already put out from the cold weather. The charred, blackened wood had blown across the surrounding snow and it looked as if hell itself had opened up over our home. I was startled when Gavrie burst into tears, being too distracted by the state of our house to notice anything else.

In front of our house stood two crosses, a body burned to each of them. On the great tree that we use in the summer to swing and climb hung my mother and father, swaying with feet curled, rolling back and forth in the light breeze.

"We have to bury them," is the first thing that came to my mind. "Find Akilina." My brother doesn't listen, laying on the ground as he cried with abandonment. I marched over to him, my black cloak trailing behind me like a funeral procession as I grabbed him by the shoulders. "Get yourself together. We have to bury them." I let go, staring him in the eyes before repeating. "We have to."

I don't wait to see if he listened, too busy searching for something to dig with. I find a stick and began slamming it into the earth with a one track mind, attempting to break up the icy layer over the ground.

"It's no use," my brother sniffled. "We can't bury them. The ground is too hard with ice. No one gets buried in the winter; the undertaker keeps the bodies until the ground thaws. You know that."

"We have to," I gasped out, winded from my attempts to dig into the earth. "If we don't, no one will."

"Mila," he trailed off. "We have to leave them. They're going to come back, they'll kill us too. Dad died for us, don't ruin that."

The sky was blue. It was sunny out but we didn't feel any of the warmth, the wind being too cold. I closed my eyes and felt as it blows across my cheeks, and then the first tear fell. "We can't leave them."

He placed an arm on my shoulder. "We have to." He dragged me up by my arm, tugging me into the forest without much resistance from me. My last view of my family was my older brother's blacked bodies and my parents serenely swinging in the breeze, as if at peace.

I do not feel at peace. They did not even kill them justly. Our whole family weren't Vilkacis, only three of us were. Both Akilina and I had the wolf in us, the females being more likely to have it than males, so did my older brother Wenzel. My father, mother, and older brother Ivano weren't even wolf. If they had to die, at least have it for a reason. But it was not, and it had me feeling empty with bitterness.

We almost died that winter. The only thing that kept us alive was my wolf. My father always warned me of my instincts, telling me to ignore them or else I would lose myself to the wolf.

But I had to.

We were both cold, Gavrie's appendages began to look unhealthy. We were starving with nothing to eat. We both knew what I had to do in order for us to survive.

My warm pelt kept us both warm, and I was able to hunt food and gather wood for my brother to live off of. When spring finally came my brother's fears came true: I could not change back. I knew before this would have bothered me, but now I couldn't understand why. This form was better, I could protect my kin with it. I could provide and nurture him until he became an adult and made his own pups.

Sadly, it did not work the way I planned. My brother was twelve, old enough to become an apprentice to another carpenter. In exchange for food and shelter he helped create items out of wood. My instincts told me to avoid humans, so I would not come around when the man Gavrie listened to was there. Gavrie tried to visit me in the forest as often as he could, bringing little meats as treats for me. Soon the time came when Gavrie left the man's house, moving to the town over to open his own wood shop. He started a family and told them of me, the wolf who had saved him as a child. I played with his children, for they were my kin too. I protected his house the night someone tried to kill and rob him of everything he owned. I watched as Halina, his oldest daughter, grew older and traded kisses with her lover under the darkness of the trees. I sat in the shadows as his oldest son married the baker's daughter who, for some odd reason, people greatly admired.

And then the day came when he was old and withered, his hair white and head balding. The only way to distinguish him as the boy I used to know was the scent of sweet apples and sandalwood he'd always carried with him. He passed away in his sleep one night, living a long life for someone that worked the hard life of a peasant at the age of fifty-one. I stayed for a while, watching as his oldest son took over his father's business and as his kids began to rush about just like he did as a child. I knew his son didn't need me, and my brother had been the only reason I stayed. I said my goodbyes, rubbing my muzzle against his chest. I think he knew I was leaving, because when he hugged me to him and let go water trailed from his eyes. I remember making that water once, a long time ago. But time has erased the reasons why.

I do not know where I went to, I just ran. Sometimes I heard wolves. Once I even joined a wolf pack. But something told me I didn't belong there, and when the alpha died in a fight with a bear I took my leave as well.

I was captured once, placed in a cage that sat in an even bigger metal box. When I released from the large metal box they did odd things to me, trying to make me jump through hoops and using thin sticks of pain to make me do it. I was always hungry and never hunted for my meals. There were no animals to hunt. I escaped when one of the humans didn't close the door tight enough, disappearing into the night.

This new land they had taken me to was different. There were odd creatures that I had never seen before, like the grey and black animal that had a wolf face but was round at the belly and the wrong coloring. The black circles around its eyes were odd, and it's size off. After hunting one I realized they were edible. The air smelled different, a scent that I couldn't put a name too. For a long time I thought I was the only wolf here, but after many seasons passed I let out a cry to the moon circle in the dark sky and howls answered me back. It filled me with joy, and I raced across the landscape with a newly found vigor.

The land is magical now, different from when I was a pup many moons ago. Metal boxes with circles at the bottom transport humans as fast as I can run, sometimes even faster. I now wonder who is the better animal, me or the box. I do not wish to find out. Nothing looks soft about it.

I rush across the surface of the earth, exhilarated and racing as fast as I can. The trees are blurs, but somehow I am able to avoid them. Suddenly I trip with the help of a hidden root under the colorful leaves. I yelp loudly, pain zipping through me as I fall awkwardly onto my leg. I know immediately it is broken, and worry begins to course through my mind. The world may now be magical, but I am not. I cannot heal any faster than anyone else. Now is the time to find a place to hide, preferably somewhere near the never stopping water flow, and hope to heal. I've only broken a bone once before, and that time was miserable. I was emaciated by the end, weak and almost lifeless. I ate rabbits and squirrels until my strength returned.

This break I can tell will be different. It is not lined up like my other one. This one leaves a visible bump under my fur. I begin limping, and although my foot never touches the ground fiery pain spreads through me with every step.

Perhaps this is the end.

The cracking of a branch stirs me and I bring my head up, cocking my ear in the direction I heard it. The footsteps are quiet, much quieter than any human. It sounds big despite this. Maybe it is a bear. I can only hope my death is swift. Nerves have me bringing my head down, inching as quietly as I can to a nearby bush. I'm almost completely covered when the animal breaks through the trees to me. But to my surprise it's not an animal.

It's a human. A large human, but a human none the less.

I yip pitifully. Last time I dealt with humans they captured me and stuck me in a small cage with no room to run and no food to hunt. I do not like humans. They are dangerous.

The man pauses, tilting his head towards me to take me in. It is silent, neither of us making a noise. He sniffs the air and makes mouth sounds. They're halted, as if unsure, and great spaces sit between each one. He reaches a hand towards me and I growl, my hackles going up and teeth clearly displayed. Immediately he brings his hand back, and makes the mouth sounds again. This time I can make something out that he keeps repeating.

"Ets oke, ets oke." I have no clue what he is trying to say, but he seems to be trying to calm me down. I don't fall for it one moment, at least not until our eyes meet.

His incessant noise stops, along with his breathing. I sniff, taking in his scent, and realize fear is a prevalent emotion in him. But just like him, I pause too. This man smells familiar, like home. Another look into his eyes tells me all I need to know.

Mate.