The room was dark and filled with the musty scent of a decrepit basement. She could hardly see anything that wasn't within inches of her face, but she could tell she was no longer alone.
She heard him – every deep and ragged breath he took pierced straight through her.
She could smell his sickening odor as it clashed against the smell of mold.
Worst of all, she could feel him.
She felt his presence in a way more real than the bondages that touched her wrists and held her arms tight above her head.
He moved closer and JJ felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. Resisting the urge to scream out, she heard her voice as if it came from someone else, "What do you want?"
The familiar laughter that her question evoked churned her stomach, and for a moment she feared she would be sick.
From deep inside his throat, the man whispered the answer to her question: "You."
JJ shot up from her spot on the couch while screaming "No!"
Her brief nightmare had left her drenched in a cold sweat; terror pulsing through her veins. As her heart finally began to slow down and her surroundings became familiar, JJ was mortified to see five pairs of eyes staring at her with a mixture of concern and alarm.
For months now she had avoided falling asleep while in the vicinity of her beloved team members, and up until this point her avoidance had worked.
She could kick herself for dozing off, but her lack of sleep was finally beginning to catch up with her.
Emily had been watching JJ closely ever since that son of a bitch Michael Hastings had her and Cruz abducted. She knew that JJ was not okay… and how could she be? But the dark bags under her eyes had become a permanent fixture on her tired face, and Emily knew that JJ rarely slept with any sort of peace.
Emily had decided to take a leave of absence with Interpol after JJ was safely returned home. It wasn't long before her friends had convinced her to resume her post at the BAU.
The choice to leave the BAU had been exactly what Emily needed at the time - a fresh start, the ability to make a life for herself that didn't have to be determined by her past. But her time away had allowed Emily to regain her life and step out from the shadow of Ian Doyle.
She was surprised how quickly Quantico became home; and this time around, she had no doubts. Within a month she had purchased a beautiful condo and began to set her roots. It certainly helped that she knew how badly JJ needed her. As her best friend, staying away from JJ had always been the hardest part of moving away. But Emily cared too deeply for JJ. She could never leave her now.
A painful memory jerked to the forefront of Emily's mind: breaking into a dark room to an unfathomable horror, not hesitating to put a bullet in the head of the man who nearly stabbed JJ, rushing to check on her friend. But the worst part had come upon realizing that JJ had left the room, and Emily replayed the devastating, hoarse whisper of Monteo Cruz:
"It's personal for her."
After that, it had taken all Emily had to chase after JJ and Michael Hastings without completely breaking down.
What had that bastard done to her?
What made it so personal for her?
The team knew exactly what Hastings did to women when he had the time. They had seen the evidence.
At first, Emily hadn't known how to ask JJ about her horrible experience, and the closer she got, the farther JJ pulled away.
It hurt, there was no denying that, but Emily knew it wasn't personal. JJ was pulling away from everyone around her, retreating into herself and her own quiet pain. It killed them all, but JJ was unwilling to accept help. Emily knew that she needed time, and she also knew that she would be there however she was needed when JJ was ready.
JJ was strong in a way that Emily never had been. Emily had the ability to shut things down deep inside and never bring them to the surface… but that wasn't strength. That was fear.
JJ, on the other hand, always had a way of showing her emotions fearlessly and owning who she was.
But this time was different. This time she was broken, lost in a darkness that she was trying desperately to keep hidden from everyone around her.
She was scared, and for the first time ever, she was afraid to admit it.
"I'm sorry," JJ whispered breathlessly to the team. "Bad dream."
Emily moved over to the small couch occupied by JJ and made room to sit beside the woman. She was visibly shaking and looked like she could be sick at any minute. As Emily reached her hand out to grab JJ's, JJ quickly pulled away.
She could see the hurt in Emily's eyes and it killed her. If only she could explain that she didn't pull away on purpose. She wanted the comfort of her friend more than she knew how to explain…but her body just wouldn't let her accept human touch. And she couldn't ask Emily to help her figure that out – because it was impossible.
"I'm sorry," JJ whispered again, lowering her eyes.
As the worried faces of her team members began to disperse and return to conversation, JJ took a deep and steadying breath.
"JJ, look at me," Emily said.
She didn't want to, but JJ raised her head to meet the deep and comforting eyes of her best friend.
"I want you to take my hand," Emily said. "Right now. Simple as that… just reach out and put your hand into mine. Okay?"
Tears welled up in JJ's eyes, and despite herself, they began to flow freely down her cheeks.
"Oh JJ, please," Emily pleaded. "Please honey, come here." Her arms were open wide, inviting JJ in.
"Can we talk after we land please?" JJ said quietly, quickly regaining her composure as she wiped a stray tear from her cheek.
Emily let out a frustrated sigh and took a minute before responding.
"Yes JJ. That would be fine."
Knowing the conversation would never end up happening, Emily rose from the couch and headed to find her own seat.
JJ watched her go - the woman who had flown across the world and risked her own life to save hers - and felt more hopeless than she ever had.