I don't know how I feel about this story. I know that I have a lot of stories that I need to update, and I do plan on updating them soon. Things have just been... crazy lately, and my mind has been all over the place. I use writing as a way to cope; a way to let out emotions. And if you know me, you already know that. And it is because of how messed up things have been lately that I have not been writing... because no one needs to see the dark side of my thoughts.

Anyway, this took maybe like forty-five minutes to write, so it is not my best work, not by a long-shot. I decided to just write and allow whatever came out of it to come out, if that even makes sense. I never plan my stories... but you all seem to like them anyway, so hopefully you all like this. One-shot or multi-chap... I don't know what this is. I guess that is up to what you guys want, though I am working in too many multi-chapter stories at the moment, but again, it is up to you guys.

Enjoy.

He reached for the door, right tan hand pushing against its solid surface. He allowed the shorter brunette and the blond to walk out before following close behind, all the while doing his best to hold back the tears that he could barely restrain. Logan - the shorter brunette - stared at him for a moment with concern sketched all over his pale face. Kendall, the blond and unofficial leader of the small, not-quite-complete group of best friends, had his gaze turned to the ground, hands stuffed into his jeans' front pockets. James sighed, running a hand through his disheveled brown hair. Normally, he would be upset over having messed up hair, but not today. Not when there was so much on his mind. Not when his other best friend - his brother - was lying on a hospital bed, fighting for his life.

"This cannot be happening," James muttered, tears gathering in his eyes and making his vision blurry. "I can't... It just can't be happening."

Kendall bit his lip, stretching out an arm and pulling James into a hug. He stretched out his other arm, signaling with his free hand for Logan to get nearer. When he did, he pulled him close and buried his face against the soft tufts of hair that covered his best friend's head. He willed himself not to cry. He couldn't cry, not in front of them. He had to be strong. Even if he was the youngest and often wanted to seek the comfort of others, he just couldn't allow the tears to fall. He had to be strong for all three of them, even if it killed him in the inside.

"He's going to be okay, guys. We'll make sure of it. As soon as he's out of here we will not allow him to hurt again."

"You can't stop someone from hurting, Kendall," Logan said, looking up at the blond with doe-like brown eyes. "You can try... we can try to protect him, but no one is ever one hundred percent safe from being in pain."

"I know, Logan," Kendall said, a bit agitated. "But I will not allow him to hurt so much again."

Logan bit his bottom lip and gave a small nod, letting his head rest against Kendall's shoulder for a moment. He then looked up, staring at James with a quizzical look, but the younger brunette did not seem to notice. He was staring blankly into space; face unreadable. His brown eyes turned to Kendall after a few seconds, meeting his warm green eyes. He offered him a smile, one that was visibly forced. Kendall did not smile back. He simply rubbed his shoulder in a comforting manner with his hand and placed a kiss to the top of his head. A stranger would have most likely misjudged the small gesture, but to them it wasn't anything out of the ordinary. James, Kendall and Logan - and Carlos, of course - were all very close, so to them it wasn't anything strange. It was a gesture of affection, and Kendall only hoped that it would comfort the brunette in a time like this.

"James?"

Logan didn't know when it was that he had opened his mouth, but as the name slipped from his lips, he realized that it was he who had said his best friend's name. The taller boy looked down, eyes teary, lips trembling... Everything about him seemed broken.

"Hmm?" he asked, or more like hummed in response.

"Are you okay, James?" he asked softly.

"I'm fine," was James' reply, and before Logan or Kendall could question him any further, he had pulled away from the hug and started walking off towards their parked car. Logan let out a dry sob as he felt Kendall pull him impossibly closer. He allowed the other teen to guide him towards their car. James was already seated on the driver's seat. He had a tight grip on the steering wheel, knuckles white from the force. Kendall guided Logan to the back section of the car and opened up the door so that Logan could climb inside.

"James, are you sure you want to drive? Because I'll drive if you can't-"

"It's fine. Keep Logie company," James answered, not even turning to look at him.

"Okay," Kendall mumbled back, right before climbing into the back with Logan and wrapping a protective arm around his shoulders. The dark haired brunette curled up against his side, tucking his head under Kendall's chin and closing his eyes. He wasn't the kind of person to seek comfort. If anything, he always tried to hide his emotions, much like Kendall and James. He wasn't like Carlos. The little Latino wasn't very good at hiding his emotions... at least, that's what everybody thought. But now, all of them were beginning to question that, because today, they had realized that that wasn't true at all.

It is sometimes the happiest people, the ones who go out of their way to lift others' spirits, that are the ones who hurt more than anyone... in silence.

All of the boys coped with pain in different ways. Logan would cope by drowning himself in books, writing, any activity that would distract him from the pain. James would isolate himself from everyone and pretend he was perfectly fine when it was obvious that he wasn't. Kendall would distract himself by attending to everyone else's every need, offering others a shoulder to cry on, even when he so desperately wanted the same thing himself. And Carlos... Carlos hid it, hid it well. Too well, now that Logan thought about it.

"I'm such an idiot."

Kendall's voice broke everyone out of their thoughts. Logan froze as soon as the younger boy's four-word sentence registered in his brain. James sighed and turned around, shaking his head from side to side.

"No, Kendall. We are not going to play the blame game. If you even think about saying that this is all your fault, then I suggest for you to not even open your mouth and stop thinking like that. Would he want you to be blaming yourself?"

"You don't understand, James. You don't get it! I should have n-noticed..."

Logan winced, feeling the way Kendall shook slightly as the tears finally rolled down his cheeks. He felt paralyzed. Kendall never cried. The only time he had ever seen him cry was when he was ten years old and his father had dared to walk out on his family. But other than that, never.

Without thinking, Logan wrapped his arms around the boy's slim waist, squeezing him tightly. "Don't do this, Kendall. Don't blame yourself. The blame rests on all of us, not just you. We should have seen it sooner," he said in a soft voice. Kendall didn't respond. But Logan felt him turn to putty in his hold; crumple up like a beaten up sheet of paper, and for once allow himself to be comforted. James watched the sight with pain-filled eyes, wanting more than anything to break something, because this wasn't fair. This was too much pain; too much to take in in one day.

Crawling over the front seat, the tall brunette climbed onto the back seat, pulling the two broken boys close, and finally, finally allowed the tears to cascade down his cheeks like a waterfall. Pain demands to be felt, and sometimes one can't help but allow it to take control, coursing through their body the way a snake's venom flows through one's veins.

Nothing hurts more than seeing someone you love in pain... or seeing them attempt to take their own life because of it.

Hate it? Love it? Anything I can improve on? Please let me know, and thank you for reading.

~ BigTimeRush-BTR :)