I do not own Dragonball or Dragonball Z. They belong to their appropriate owners.
Warnings: yaoi, strong language, drugs and probably more
A/N: Forgot to mention that the last time, so at least now I'll do this:
Don't eat while reading that.
Boarding school
by sol-chan
Chapter V
Gokou blinked for a few times before regaining any measure of conscioussness. He growled furiously as he realized he was being woken up for the second time that night. Was he going to get any sleep at all tonight ?! He didn't want to get up... But then, he remembered of Vejita and feeling something pulling desperately on his foot he sat up abruptly, forcing his eyes to open and adjust to the darkness while his hand was looking for the switch of the night lamp. It was Vejita, pulling weakly on the sheets in the feet of the bed, his black eyes wide with fear, his breathing ragged and obviously causing him pain and a lot of vomit on the floor all around. Vejita, on his knees, barely conscious, frightened and begging him with his eyes to wake up... Even a month before Gokou would've never believed if someone had told him he would see Vejita like that.
He moved closer to the other boy and pulled him up on his bed and wrapped the sheets around him realizing how vicsiously he was trembling. Honestly, he didn't know what to do. He had no clue how bad it was with Vejita, if he wasn't close to dying... Should he call for help, for someone to go get a doctor ? But yet again, they would've gotten to know Vejita drugged and this becoming known around the school was equal to him being expelled if not sent somewhere where he'd heal. Even if Vejita was suffering now Gokou knew he didn't forgive him calling a doctor after, when the police or whoever else would've joined them. He just knew. But how else could he help ? What he knew of first aid didn't involve treating someone who had gotten drunk and taken acid and heroine few hours later, he had no clue what to do !
" Vejita..." He called softly.
Vejita was lying motionless on the bed with wide open motionless eyes, open but not seeming to be seeing anything, visibly pale despite his tanned skin, breathing slowly, too slowly...
" Vejita !" He shouted louder trying to get Vejita's attention, if this was even possible...
" Uhm ?" Vejita's eyes moved to look at him, pained expression appearing on his face for a second.
" How bad do you feel ? You want me to call a doctor ?"
Other boy shook his head vicsiously, his eyes narrowing for a while, but soon enough getting back wide and absent.
Vejita didn't want him to look for help. So what was he supposed to do ? He had no clue... He felt tears forming in the back of his eyes. Damn, he couldn't cry ! He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand before doing one thing he could do, turning the lamp off and lying down beside Vejita, wrapping his arms around his small frame. Vejita didn't protest, even snuggled closer.
For a long time Gokou couldn't fall asleep, despite that it was the
middle of the night and he was so tired, he just couldn't. He was listening
to Vejita's slow breaths, holding his own in the breaks between them, seeming
too long for him, fearing that the next could not come. But finally he
had fallen asleep, hoping he wouldn't wake up in the morning next to the
dead body.
At 7 am the ringing of the bell could be heard in whole dormitory, waking the students up an hour before the beginning of the lessons. Gokou blinked sleepily for a few times before the conscioussness came to him fully. He opened his eyes and looked frantically around. Vejita was there, still wrapped securely in his arms and returning the hug, warm and breathing, alive. His breathing came back to normal, but he was still pale and most likely weakened. He was going to have one hell of hangover... Gokoy considered for a moment if he should wake him up at all. But yet again, Vejita needed to go to school, one couldn't not to go if a doctor didn't judg him ill. Poor Vejita... He'd have to go to school despite how bad he was probably feeling. Hopefully, their classes ended early that day.
Gokou sighed before beginning to shake the other boy. He wondered how things between them were going to be, after what had happened that night, after what he had seen and done, after he had gotten to know Vejita knew what he felt for him, and after he had assured him of that taking him to his bed for that night.
Only after another minute of vicsious shaking Vejita opened his black eyes but closed them immediately after.
" Vejita, you need to go to school."
" I won't." Muttered Vejita before grabbing a pillow and putting it on his face.
" How do you feel ?"
" Shitty..."
" But... You think there's something wrong with you or is it just hangover ?"
" I feel there's something wrong... I have hangover..." Muttered Vejita in the pillow.
" It can't be that bad. You talk at least."
Vejita took the pillow off his face and glared at Gokou.
" Listen, moron. I... I'm sorry I bothered you that night, though I didn't know what I was doing, know one thing: that doesn't mean anything ! That I almost kissed you, that we slept together - that doesn't mean I want things between us to change, I do remember what happened, but let's act like if I forgot, `k ? And now, leave me the hell alone ! I can go to my bed if this bothers you..."
" You can't." Said Gokou pointing another bed in the room, covered in vomit. " But you may stay here. I'll clean that mess up as soon as I'm back. I... I just don't know how you can stay here, they'll ask where you are, and first they'll come check here..."
" No. Just tell Brian..."
" Who ?"
" Our English teacher, that I can't go with the hangover and tell him not to come to me till evening."
" Sure." Said Gokou hesitantly before getting up himself and heading
to the bathroom.
Vejita hadn't gone to school that day, but no one complied, as usual, thanks to `Brian`. Gokou had told him that Vejita couldn't come because he had been feeling too bad with the hangover just before the beginning of the lessons. He had just nodded and done something about it so that no one had bothered Vejita about his absence. After the lessons, Gokou had come back to their room only to find Vejita asleep in his bed, but at least undressed, and the mess in the room cleaned up a bit. Gokou had ended the cleaning and tried to study to the math test whole afternoon, sitting at the desk looking at his math book open still at the same page, thinking about something else. Thinking about Vejita, to be honest.
Around 7 pm Vejita's lover had come to him and asked Gokou to leave. He had complied and gone for a walk at the river's bank and then met some classmates around there and talked with them a bit, but still, when he had come back over two hours later, Brian hadn't left. Gokou had needed to wait another hour, watching TV at the club before the man had finally left. He had come to check on Vejita then and here he was, standing in the center of their room and watching wide-eyed like Vejita was throwing out with blood, lying in the blood-soaked bed, blood coming still from his backside.
" Vejita... What happened ?" He asked moving to kneel down next to the bed.
" Is it really so hard to figure out what happened ? We had sex, Brian likes it rough sometimes..."
" He hurt you..."
" That's your fault. He got angry because he thinks we're fucking like rabbits when he isn't looking. He said he can see it in the way you look at me and talk about me... He's fucked up... I know, I did realize that... Only a bit too late..."
" I'll kill that bastard."
Vejita turned his head to look up at him.
" You mean it ?"
" Yes. He hurt you."
" This is enough of a reason for you ?"
" Yes."
" Don't be stupid, Kakkarotsu. I know you wouldn't do this. But you could go break his nose for me..." Vejita smirked, but after a while grimaced in pain and threw out again, and again... for a few minutes without stop. It seemed Vejita had eaten something during that day, now it was all thrown out...
At some moment, Gokou found himself holding Vejita half-sitting, while otherwise he'd have collapsed in the vomit, and then, when he stoppedm taking him to the another bed in his arms, and still holding him and playing with his ebony hair to soothe him, while he was trembling vicsiously. Gokou didn't know anymore what was that, alcohol, drugs or whatever `Brian` had done to Vejita that had gotten him so ill... One thing he knew was that this shouldn't continue.
" Vejita... why are you with him ?"
" Who ? Brian ?" Asked Vejita weakly.
" You don't love him, do you ?"
Vejita almost laughed at that. Him, loving someone, anyone, and especially someone like Brian, especially considering the circumstances. He was just hopelessly stuck with the man, who, realizing his control over him, lately had begun to use it, making his various nasty fantasies real, knowing that Vejita had no way to dump him anyway.
" Do you ?"
" No, Kakkarotsu... Isn't that obvious ?"
" What ?"
" You know... It's about time for me to shoot up... You'll do that for me ?"
Gokou's face turned strangely blank, his features hardening.
" No."
" Do you really want to see how I rip my forearm to shreds when I can't find the vein ? You think how I've gotten all those scars ?"
Gokou casted a glance to Vejita's forearm, scarred with countless marks left by suringe, getting in the vein more or less fortunately. Vejita was still trembling, his hands trembling as well. Maybe it was really better to help him... Once again Gokou found himself being the one helping Vejita to drug himself. Kami, how he wanted not to have to do this, how he wanted Vejita to stop destroying his life with drugs and sleeping with men like Brian, how he wanted to be away of this shit, not feeling anything for the shorter boy... The worst person possible for him to fall in love with, definetely...
Soon enough, heroine had gotten Vejita high and he was lying there looking absently up at the ceiling and blabbering something about how he had slept with Bulma for the first time when she had been still a virgin and how funny it had been. Gokou didn't truly want to know, but yet again, some part of him... He wanted to know how it was, he had never been with a girl himself... nor with a boy, for that matter. It was disturbing him, that he was showing interest in such things at all, but yet again, wasn't that normal, in a way ? Vejita, on his part, didn't seem embarrassed at all, talking and being more open than, Gokou bet, he'd ever be around him completely sober. He threw out few more times but it didn't seem to cause him pain, like if he didn't feel the pain anymore. They didn't go out for dinner and Vejita didn't want Gokou to bring him anything to eat, he was just chattering incessantly for hours, laughing most the time and grinning like an idiot the rest. Gokou found it hard to deal with him that way, despite that it had been happening before and he had used to that, well, at least a bit... Vejita had gone then to describing how and with whom he had been before, getting to Brian and stopping then to become talking about something else. About how he felt whole the time, why he was doing drugs and Gokou found himself listening with more of attention than before, soothing Vejita as he began to cry while still laughing.
" You know, Kakkkarotsu... I'm lonely, despite with how many people I slept... I can want someone, make him want me, have fun, but that's all, and it isn't changing anything about that I'm alone... There is something wrong with me, it's my fault that I don't have friends, that no one loves me... That's my fault, that I'm not capable of more feelings than desire, annoyance, hate and jealousy... I don't feel much, but what I feel seem too... intense... When I want something, I can't live normally until I get it, when I hate I can feel that only killing the one I hate could help me to get rid of the feeling, when I'm jealous I want to get what I'm jealous about and shove it in the persons face, to show it how much I'm better... and when I'm annoyed I'm the worst ass one can meet... you know something about it, don't you ?"
" Why ?"
" Why what ? Why I'm like that ? There were times when I wasn't, we all were the same at first, all too-trustful innocent creatures... But obviously one can only be thrown away, ignored, beat and used by people he thought he loved only for that long... That's all my fault that no one feels anything for me, maybe Bulma, maybe you, I can't figure you out, why are you still here beside me and more to this, trying to help me..."
" Because I love you." Said Gokou with shy smile.
" You're stupid."
" I know... but I can't help it, you're so beautiful..."
Vejita rolled his eyes.
" Just shut the hell up, Kakkarotsu..." He muttered before throwing out to the bowl which Gokou had brought there for him. His hand reached then to look for cigarettes in his pocket, but found none. " I'm out of cigarettes. You'll have to buy me some..."
Gokou nodded absently, not knowing anyway what he was asked about. At least Vejita hadn't told him `no` verbally. Maybe there was some chance for him, for them, after all. Kami, how much he wanted to help him, to show him that he wasn't that bad and deserving the loneliness like he seemed to think he was, to get him out of his addiction, and make him happy, in the end...
" Vejita..."
Other boy didn't answer, already asleep.
Gokou bit his lip. One more lost chance...
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