Disclaimer: We don't own Harry Potter. Or the cliches that come with the fandom.

In this lesson, we will be teaching you how to construct a very basic and original character: Mary Sues. There is just one very basic and important rule about these types of characters. They are perfect, no matter if it would be their magical ability, their family background, their emotional stability, their talent, their appearance... You hear me? Every single thing = perfection.

Our first tutorial in this lesson will be how to describe a Mary Sue's appearance. Long, swaying hair that glistens in the sunlight, beautiful eyes that would capture any boy's heart, and a figure worthy of America's Top Model (disregarding the fact that they might only be around 12 years old). Here's an excellent demonstration:

she has really pritty, like, strewberry blonde but like not totally blonde, still like hazelnot brownish, and she has nice blue eyes to match like her hair, cos blu is rlly rlly preetttyy. also she smell like alstroemeria, amaranthus, amaryllis, anemone, anthurium, aster, roses, lilacs, calla, chrysanthemum spray, sunflowers, coxcomb, delphinium, daffodil, dahlia, fressia, gerbera, ginger, hycainth, heather, liatris, lily, orchid, snapdragon, tulip, stock

and like only a thousend mroe flewors heheeh

Mary Sues seem to have so many magical abilities, to emphasize their flawlessness, they have multiple animagus forms, can cast a patronus in the First Year, and have the immunity of a god (They sacrifice themselves for a love interest and get shot by an Avada Kedavra? Chances are, they will probably have ancient love magic that is connected to their loved one, and therefore is stuck in a coma until one day BOOM. Alive again. Marriage. Family. (Optional) epilogue. The end and happily ever after).

Of course, to complete a Mary Sue (We're not saying that all Mary Sues have this, but most of them do) they must have tragic pasts and deceased parents. They will be strong, and brave, and selfless, and will never ever ever confide this top secret information to any other people (excluding their love interests, of course...Because, uh, obviously you would tell a guy you met for 2 days your whole life story). Here's an example of what you should totally do!

loads of tears forme d in her eyes and then she got so sad bcos she dont want to tell any1 abt her really sad past and her dead perants, whyyyy r the slytheerin girlz so mean!? pansy shud notbully her for such thing she cannt helP!1!1! her parents r daed and cant hekp her, she has suchhhh a tragic tragic life, how dere dey not feel sed 4 her :( :( :(

They also happen have a startling resemblance to literal human perfection. I mean, if you could find all the good aspects (selflessness, kindness, generosity, wisdom, et cetera) possible in humankind, said Mary Sue would definitely have all of these aspects. They would be ridiculously selfless and generous - popular and lovable - clever and knowledgeable,

Mary Sues are never the 'transfer student'. (Sarcasm, dear reader.) They will always be the one all the boys' heads turn to, the one girls gaze at with admiration or jealousy, and the one who looks 'strikingly beautiful', they have inhumane attributes such as eyes that change color, hair that can change length and so on (the author is convinced that this makes their character more beautiful).

every1 stare at her, jaws open and widenedd eyes, they all gasp at her BEAUTY and PERFECTIon lik omggg shes so pretty! amazing right? shes like so cute adn all the girlz are jealous and every1 is just like, waitin 4 her the sorting hat 2 like, give her a house dat will also determnie their lvoe interest!1! hah very romance, rite

The next tutorial in this lesson will be teaching you how to pair random male characters (or female, if you want) with the Mary Sue. Usually this is accomplished by a guy just falling in love with the Mary Sue ("Oh, I'm just dazzled by your brilliant magical ability and perfect appearance! Can I marry you?") or this horrendously angsty story where the guy spends 101% of the plot trying to pursue the girl.

Now the next thing you need to do is identify which male character you're shipping the Mary Sue with. Hagrid/OC? Great! Professor Flitwick/OC? No problem! Ron/OC? Sure, they're super original and creative options. You could also go with Dead!Person/OC (very underused) or Flower/OC (because that's totally related to HP) or Butterfly!Dumbledore/OC (of course Dumbledore has colorful wings! He has a beard too, to match, because duh!). Let your imagination flow, and I'm sure that everything will be flawless!

I'm also very sure that your readers will be pleased when Mary Sues finally break down and their 'super cool facade' melts away, leaving an beautiful, generous, warm heart...that apparently needs comforting from Mary Sue's boyfriend? Oh, right. I forgot. Mary Sues are perfect and very strong until they are in a 100-meter-range of their love interest in which they become clumsy idiots, have the IQ of a dead snail, gets struck by a fatal curse but then survives, suddenly start crying, and have a horrendous case of brain damage after falling down the stairs, but somehow survive anyway. Here's an example for those who feel a little bewildered:

mary sue kills 10 death eater (includes bellatix, luciuz, rodulphes and all the scary death eaters), voldemort (harry? harry who?) in 2 nanosecs, and then she walk to where her SUPERAWED botfriend is and suddenly OH MY GOD trips!111! emergency! she bruissed her kne and need hopital now, so boyfrind cary her, bridel stlye cos its rly cute k ME BEYFRIEND AND ME ALWYAS DO IT, ITS RLY CUTE OK DONT JUDGE ME AHAH3xx

"The plot must go on" says a fellow author as she puts her Mary Sue into impossible situations that normal people would never be able to get out of. However, her Mary Sue and her love interest will always come out alive, their romance burning like a strong, passionate fire (insert scoff here).

Hope that wasn't too cheesy? Ehehe. Leave us a review and tell us if you know where that song reference (see: "The plot must go on") comes from! ;) As usual, if you have any requests or suggestions, feel free to tell us and we'll try to incorporate it in the next chapter! xD

-Vanillanchocolate