Author's Note: I'd like to thank everyone who stuck by me and this story. I'm really pleased with how it turned out and, for now, this is the end. I'm going to one day write a sequel to this, I think. Thank you. Sincerely.

Trigger Warning: This chapter gets a bit gross in some places. My apologies to those of my readers with sensitive stomachs.

~ REMUS ~

"Did you hear about Potter and Black last night?"

"The fight? It had to have been staged."

"Yeah, that's totally something those two would do to rile everyone up."

"Wait, there's Lupin. Shut up."

Remus laid his books down on the table neatly in front of him. He could feel two dozen pairs of eyes boring into him as if the contents of his mortal coil could explain what had happened last night. Remus would have enjoyed that very much, but alas, the only explanation he could muster was that both his friends were complete and utter idiots.

Sirius and James were nowhere to be found at the breakfast table that morning. He was silently grateful for that; he had no idea what he was going to say to either one of them. It wouldn't be long before it wasn't just the Gryffindor table talking about this. James was head boy. Sirius was one of the most popular people in the whole school. News was bound to travel fast.

Remus was just as thankful that Peter was nowhere to be found. He wasn't sure how much Peter remembered, but he was sure the last thing he wanted to do right now was to figure that out.

He never had much appetite on the day of the full moon. He had served himself eggs, sausage and toast more out of habit than out of real hunger. Every movement he made was a true labour - his joints screamed in protest with every bend of his knee, with every flick of the wrist. True pain was yet to come and this he knew, so he kept it mostly to himself. With a jolt of pain, Remus flipped open one of the books he had brought down to breakfast with him, Beyond Good and Evil by Nietzsche. Nibbling distractedly at the crust edge of his piece of blackened toast, he attempted to ignore the incessant murmuring surrounding him.

As 11 o' clock came around, Remus was shocked that none of his friends had shown up to eat. This was perhaps the first time he had failed to see Peter at the breakfast table. That James and Sirius had not shown up was not surprising. His eyes followed the words on the pages before him, but he didn't take in their meaning. The slow realization that his friends might not show their faces at all today was rather comforting - he could take the day to himself. Calm himself down before what had to happen tonight. It had been a very long time since he had last faced a transformation completely alone.

It's not like I haven't done it alone before, Remus thought to himself as he shut his book in frustration, I did it alone for my first few years here. I can do it alone again.

~ SIRIUS ~

Sirius dragged a hand shakily across his mouth and peeled his face away from the cold of the porcelain toilet seat. He breathed in and out a few times very slowly and deliberately before retching again, bringing up nothing but the burn of stomach acid. He was sweating; he could feel it all over his body. He was shaking like a leaf all over, not helping at all with the convulsions his stomach was going through. He had vomit in his hair and on his clothes from where he had, he assumed, thrown up on himself in the night. He felt like shit and hated himself for it.

When he had propelled himself from his bed to the toilet this morning he had barely spared a glance at the dormitory. He had noted Peter's curtains were still firmly snapped shut, but he hadn't had a chance to see if James was there. He would have to face his friend sooner or later. But that time was not now.

Finally, after several more minutes of painful heaving, he dragged himself to his feet by the edge of the sink. When he caught sight of himself in the mirror, he recoiled instantly. A large black bruise had bloomed around his left eye and he very clearly was coated in a layer of his own bodily fluids. With shaking hands, Sirius turned on the taps, cupped up handfuls of hot water, and splashed them repeatedly against his face. The room span every time he shut his eyes, but he somehow managed to pull through and wash most of the filth from his face, neck and hair.

This has to stop, Sirius thought to himself as he picked up his toothbrush and very slowly began to brush his teeth. His mind flashed back through what he could remember of the night. Fighting with James in the dormitory. Dancing drunkenly in the common room. Flashes of anger at seeing Remus chatting up some Ravenclaw boy instead of paying attention to him. Insulting Evans. James' fists pounding his face… Remus yelling at him. Remus angry. Remus disappointed.

Sirius felt like retching again.

"I'm not going to put myself through letting myself fall for you and then having to wake up to you sneaking off because you're too ashamed of me to stay." Remus' words echoed deadly inside his head.

It's not you I'm ashamed of, Sirius thought. It's me.

"I love you." Sirius had said, just before kissing Remus hard the night before.

"I love you." Sirius repeated aloud, unable to meet his gaze in his own reflection.

He had to talk to Remus. He had to make sure Remus knew he was serious about what he had said, as much as it absolutely terrified him. But how? How could he bring himself to say that to Remus, someone who deserved so, so much more? Maybe it was better if they kept their distance. Maybe it would be less painful and confusing.

One thing he knew for sure was that this drinking absolutely had to stop. He had been nothing but drunk since he left home and he was secretly terrified that he wouldn't be able to function without it. Something traumatizing happens and there James is with a bottle and a couple of shot glasses. It seemed natural. Easy.

He teetered his way back out to the dormitory, walking slowly towards his trunk. James' bed was messy, but empty. A foot sticking out of the curtains at Peter's bed told him he was still firmly asleep. Remus' bed was made and the curtains tucked neatly out of the way. He was the only one conscious here. He very carefully got dressed in the first things he grabbed and swung his book bag onto one shoulder.

He had to find Remus. He had to do something about this.

Sirius walked slowly and deliberately down the hallways, chewing a piece of willow bark with a grimace. It was the only thing he could find in his standard issue potions kit that he knew would numb the headache threatening to shatter his skull. He knew it wouldn't help much, but he didn't dare show up at the hospital wing in this condition. Madam Pomfrey would know exactly what had happened and it would not be a pleasant twenty-minute visit. Not that it ever was with good old Poppy Pomfrey.

It was Saturday morning and the hallways were full of students aimlessly wandering around, unsure of what to do with themselves on their first Saturday back at school. Every Gryffindor he passed stared and muttered quietly to themselves about his lovely black eye and how he'd received it. Sirius clenched his jaw and kept walking. He had to find Remus.

Logic dictated that he would find Remus in the library, and so off he went, book bag slung lazily over one shoulder, ignoring stares and whispers as he went.

The dimly-lit coolness of Hogwarts' vast library was a great relief on one so hungover. He glanced quickly around, taking in the dozens of empty desks and the hundred rows of books. Of course, nobody but Remus Lupin would be here on a Saturday.

He strode forwards, his footsteps echoing cacophonously against the complete silence. Magically-lit torches (of course, real fire would never have been permitted) flickered as he passed, up and down the many stacks and rows of books and scrolls. Not one of them held Remus. He even checked the Care for Magical Creatures section twice. No. Remus was not here.

~ REMUS ~

It was the way the wind shook the leaves on the huge, ancient oak tree above his head that made him come here on the days before the full moon. It was so perfectly serene here out on the lawns behind the school, facing out across the lake with the cool grass beneath him. Here, it was almost possible to forget about his idiot friends and his aching body.

Lunchtime had come and gone, but he hadn't wanted to leave his shady spot by the oak for long enough to eat. Besides, he felt it was easier to keep his stomach settled during the transformation if he avoided food during the day.

He had nearly dozed off when he heard voices coming towards him from over the lawn. He wiped the grass off his jeans absent-mindedly and leaned around the trunk to see who it was, silently begging that it wasn't Peter or James. Or worse, Sirius.

"I told you it's still like summer here in September." came a lilting male voice towards him.

A deep, male laugh answered. "Anything is like summer compared to where I'm from."

The slight Russian accent snapped him back to last night. The tall, dark-haired Ravenclaw who had shared a cigarette with him.

They stopped just out of sight of Remus.

"I'm glad you decided to come, Andrei." said the voice with the Dublin accent.

"It was worth it just for you alone." Andrei replied, a note of warmth colouring his deep baritone.

Remus had begun to get up to greet them, but the tone of Andrei's voice stopped him dead in his tracks. He instantly wished he wasn't here.

"This is a beautiful country." Andrei said, after a few moments of silence.

"Wait until winter. It rains non stop for months." The Irish voice replied.

"I have experienced colder. And wetter. It is no big deal to be having rain." Andrei said, stumbling ever so slightly over the English.

"I can't believe you actually left Durmstrang." The other voice said, almost too quietly for Remus to hear.

"It was for the best. This would never have been allowed to happen."

This? Remus thought, the word rolling around in his mind.

"I missed you." The Irish voice replied.

"And I, you." Andrei said, the longing in his velvet voice triggering something primal and unwelcome in Remus' stomach.

Remus peered around the edge of the tree just in time to see Andrei give the other boy a surreptitious kiss on the mouth.

Remus darted quickly back around the trunk of tree and willed himself to be absolutely silent, his knees in searing pain from the half-crouch he was currently holding.

There was silence for a few moments made only more acute by the incessant pounding of his heart in his ears. Soon, their voices picked up again but from further away as they headed back towards the school.

Remus collapsed down against the grass, his knees unable to hold his weight any longer.

Just as he thought they were out of range, Remus stole another glance around the trunk of the oak and with a jolt in his stomach, met Andrei's gaze as he looked back over his shoulder to where Remus sat.

~ SIRIUS ~

Sirius braced his hands on his knees and hung his head as he struggled to regain his breath. As often as he climbed to the top of the astronomy tower, he had never quite become accustomed to the sheer number of stairs involved.

The afternoon sun was blinding as he stepped out onto the empty observatory deck. Surprisingly, nobody was up here. He had figured that after the library, the common room and the Great Hall, he would certainly find Remus here.

He crossed the small space between him and the southern edge of the tower, pulling a cigarette from his bag. Still breathing heavily, he lit it and placed it between his lips.

The air was cool and crisp up here, but he could still feel the heat of the sun on the side of his neck as he leaned against the ancient stone of the barricade between him and the many feet of empty air.

For a few minutes, he smoked in silence, looking out over the empty grounds and the solid blackness of the lake. If Remus wasn't up here, he wasn't sure where he would find him.

Sirius leaned his head forwards into his hands after flicking the butt off the edge of the tower. He knew he had screwed up. Majorly. Not only with Remus, but with James, too. How could he ever fix what had happened between them last night?

Rubbing his face vigorously, he let out a deep sigh. Letting his hands fall down by his sides, he gave the grounds one last glance before turning to climb back down into the school. Out of the corner of his eye he spotted the huge oak tree on the near side of the lake and his face suddenly lit up. He knew where Remus was.

~ REMUS ~

Remus stood to his feet slowly as soon as he was sure that Andrei and his... friend had disappeared around the corner of the school onto the front lawns.

His heart hammered hard against his ribs and he could feel his stomach churning uncomfortably with an emotion he wasn't sure that he could place.

He had never seen anything like that at Hogwarts. Of course, boys and girls were often caught together in under-used stairwells or classrooms, but they were always exactly that - boys and girls. This was something totally different. And Andrei had seen him watching.

He began to put his books back into his bag, unable to shove the mental image of Andrei's gaze out of his mind. When they had locked eyes, neither one of them looked away until a few moments later when they were out of sight of one another.

Had he known I was there the whole time? Remus wondered, thoughts racing like mad through his head.

He fumbled, his hands shaking hard, and his entire book bag fall open, dumping ink, quills, papers and all fall out onto the grass.

With a deep groan of frustration, he scrambled to pull it together, cursing under his breath as a bottle of ink shattered all over the research notes he had begun to make for the first Defense Against the Dark Arts assignment of the year.

"I thought I would find you here."

Remus looked quickly over his shoulder to see a slightly more dishevelled than usual Peter walking slowly towards him.

Remus let out a long, low sigh and sat back down on the grass. Today just was not the day he was going to be alone.

"You weren't at lunch." Peter said, leaning down to help Remus gather his things.

"No, I wasn't. I wanted some peace and quiet." Remus said, an unintentional edge in his voice.

"Oh... Sorry." Peter said, handing Remus a pile of papers. "I just figured after last night you'd want someone to talk to."

"What do you mean?" Remus said a little too quickly. Peter doesn't remember, does he?

"Even I remember the fight, Moony." Peter said with a chuckle. "Not much after that, but I do remember James pounding the daylights out of Sirius."

Remus couldn't help but note the slight note of smugness colouring Peter's recollection of last night's events.

"Oh, yeah." Remus said, letting out a sigh and running a hand through the shaggy mop that his hair had become. "Well, it was pretty rough."

"You're telling me." Peter said. "I've never had a worse headache in my life. And barely any appetite at all. Oh, speaking of, I've brought you some sandwiches."

Peter rummaged around in his bag and produced a package of sandwiches clearly wrapped in an old essay.

"Thanks, Pete." Remus said, "But I'm really not hungry. Full moon and everything."

Peter's eyes shot wide open. "Oh, shit."

"Yeah." Remus shrugged, kicking his legs out in front of him.

"Well." Peter said after a long pause. "That will be interesting with Sirius and James - "

"You know, I'll be fine by myself, Pete." Remus interrupted. "I don't want to hear about those two right now."

"Well, you're not going to be alone." Peter replied, puffing out his chest. "I'm coming with you."

"Peter, please. I'd crush you." Remus replied.

"How else are you going to get into the Willow?" Peter asked, crossing his arms stubbornly.

"The same way I always used to. Professor Dumbledore will help me." Remus shrugged. He honestly hadn't thought that far ahead.

Peter let out a deep groan. "Do you always have to be so stubborn?"

"Suppose I do." Remus sighed. He clapped a hand on Peter's shoulder. "I appreciate it, mate. I really do."

"I know." Peter said with a small smile. "Now I'm going to sit here until I've witnessed you eat both those sandwiches."

Remus smiled.

"Fuck." Peter said under his breath twenty minutes later, watching as a dark figure came towards them over the lawns with Sirius Black's familiar loping gait.

Remus swallowed heavily and felt his stomach churn so badly he may have thrown up had Peter not clapped him hard on the back.

"Want me to tell him to piss off?" Peter asked, suddenly putting on a protective air of bravado Remus thought rather endearing.

Remus got to his feet slowly, using the trunk of the old oak as support.

"How much do you remember after going upstairs?" Remus asked, watching as Sirius paused to hitch up is shirt sleeves around his elbows.

"Nothing, honestly..." Peter said, an eyebrow raised.

"Good." Remus replied, picking his book bag up and starting to walk to meet Sirius.

"Long time no see, mate." Sirius joked, reaching out to clap Remus on the shoulder.

Remus side-stepped ever so slightly out of Sirius' reach.

"Okay." Sirius said, nodding and turning his awkward shoulder grab into a motion to smooth his hair back away from his face.

"It's 'mate', is it?" Remus asked, putting a hand up to shield his eyes from the sun.

Light sensitivity, the logical part of Remus' brain thought from somewhere deep inside. So it begins.

Sirius let out a long breath.

"Look." Sirius took a step forward towards Remus and went to touch his elbow.

Again, Remus stepped back.

"Alright, Pete?" Sirius called out angrily to Peter who had awkwardly followed Remus and then had fallen back a few paces, tracing his toe in the dirt.

Peter took the cue and walked solemnly back towards the tree.

"Fine." Sirius said, taking a step back his hands up. "I just figured... After we... Talked last night that things were okay between us."

Remus chewed his lip, looking anywhere but at Sirius. He could feel heat rising in his face as he remembered their kiss last night - Sirius' drunken confession of love. Again, Sirius had proved nothing more than his inability to express legitimate emotion without alcohol. If this was the pattern their life together would take, Remus wasn't sure he wanted to be a part of it.

"I know I have to stop drinking." Sirius said, as if he had read Remus' mind. "I know it's getting to be a problem."

"It is." Remus agreed, painfully aware of every ache and pain in his legs and hips.

"But listen, Remus, I wanted to tell you, what I said last night was - " Sirius began, taking a step forwards.

Sirius glanced over at Peter who was still within earshot. Remus felt his breath catch in his throat. How long were they going to play this infuriating game? Why couldn't people just spit things out? Say exactly what it was they were thinking?

"Let's talk later, okay?" Sirius said, touching Remus lightly on the elbow.

Remus said nothing, as Sirius turned to walk back across the lawns towards the school. Just as Remus was about to turn away, Sirius turned back to look, meeting his glance just as Andrei had earlier that afternoon.

Dinner churned uncomfortably in his stomach. Even the plainest fare he could get from the dinner table that night was turning his stomach. Peter had pestered Remus incessantly until he had eaten a few mouthfuls of mashed potatoes and half a slice of unbuttered bread, but he could feel it threatening to come back up at any second.

The sun was setting a dusky purple colour that tinted the entire hall in deep candle light. Remus would have thought it was beautiful had his skin not begun at that moment to crawl incessantly. The typical din of the Great Hall at meal time had risen in his head to a fever pitch, and every word Peter spoke to him assaulted his ear drums.

He hadn't seen James all day. Nobody had. The chatter from this morning about James and Sirius' fight had only intensified and it was all anyone was willing to talk about. And, unfortunately, he had been the one who had broken the fight up making him a person of interest. He hated being talked about.

Sirius hadn't turned up for dinner either. Remus imagined he was off feeling sorry for himself somewhere. Smoking up on the astronomy tower like he usually did when something was bothering him. Remus suddenly ached for a cigarette at the thought.

"It's time to go, Pete. If you're coming." Remus said, his voice strained as he pulled himself to standing. Remus stole a glance up to the teachers' table and found Dumbledore already looking at him. They exchanged a brief nod before Dumbledore turned back to his conversation with Professor Vector.

Remus didn't wait for Peter to follow. He had already started off for the Willow.

As he strode out towards the main entrance to the school, his thoughts turned towards the transformation. He hasn't seen James. He hadn't seen Sirius. That's fine - he would be okay. He always was. He had transformed without them dozens of times. He wondered absently as his knees throbbed with the effort of walking where they were right now.

Peter caught him under the arm and guided him across the lawn as the sun's last rays faded from purple to blackness. When they turned the corner and they could see the silhouette of the Willow shadowy against the deepening sky, Remus felt the panic he had been squashing down rise with full force.

How was he going to do this without them?

Peter seemed to be thinking the same thing, his hands shaking as he guided Remus down to stand in front of the huge boughs of the shaking tree.

"Stay here." Peter said, swallowing the crack in his voice as he transformed into Wormtail and scurried across the grass towards the familiar knot at the base of the trunk.

Remus was shaking violently. He could feel the wolf in him waken, fighting to take control. Remus stole a glance up at the sky - the moon hadn't risen yet, but he had heard the husky cry of an owl from somewhere nearby.

Remus could see Wormtail rise on his haunches after the great tree had shuddered to a stand still. Remus willed one foot to move, then the other, and somehow he made it to the tree and down into the tunnel.

Wormtail darted to and fro in the dark around Remus' feet, warning him of snags and potholes in the uneven dirt path.

Remus could feel the wolf getting stronger and it was usually when he lost sight of the sky and the moon's position that he started to get anxious, but he could feel panic crashing in waves against him tonight worse than ever.

He missed Sirius' usual incessant quips to lighten the mood and James' strong grasp on his arms steering him firmly down the path. Remus kept careening sideways into the path wall, every small scrape feeling like millions of tiny knives under his skin.

As the pin prick of light at the end of the tunnel got closer and closer, Wormtail bit gingerly at Remus' ankles to push him forwards more quickly. Breathing was hard. Moving was harder.

Finally, Remus grasped the wooden doorframe, pushed the battered door opens and screamed out as the wolf made its first pulls against his flesh.

Wormtail's nervous back-and-forth movements were making things only worse.

"Stay... Still..." Remus choked out, biting back the screams he knew were coming.

Wormtail stood still momentarily, but then returned to his rodentine pacing.

Minute after agonising minute passed as his joints snapped and popped, his skin crawling violently over lengthening bones, and Remus never tore his eyes away from the door.

Just as the world faded to black he could hear over his final scream the baying of a dog.

~ SIRIUS ~

"About time you showed up. It's time to talk about why you've been such a prat lately."

Sirius closed the door behind him. Sirius had skipped dinner and had decided to hide out in the library all afternoon instead. It was just about 8:00. The light from the sun was fading from a brilliant blood red into a deeper shade of purple. Sirius knew he had to be quick.

James was sitting on the edge of his bed, his fingers knit together between his knees. A dark black bruise had swollen on his right cheek.

Sirius rolled his eyes. He crossed to his bed and pulled off his shirt.

"You can't ignore me forever." James said again after Sirius didn't reply.

Sirius gritted his teeth and ignored him. He threw his shirt down on the bed and grabbed a well-worn t-shirt to pull on instead.

"I've been out looking for Remus all afternoon." Sirius said in a monotone, willing himself to keep from snapping James' neck. "Where were you?"

"I'm not sure he wants you to find him, mate." James said, "Not after how you've been carrying on."

Sirius could feel anger roiling in his stomach. He wanted to take it out on James - he did. But the sun was setting and he still hadn't decided whether he should go down to the Shack or not. He didn't know whether his being there would make things worse or better between him and Remus.

"I don't have time for this shit, James." Sirius snarled, tossing his book bag on the bed and turning to leave.

"That's the problem." James said.

James had clearly already changed - he was clearly intending on going down to the Shack.

"I'm leaving. We can discuss this later." Sirius said, taking the high road for once in his life.

"It's just going to make things worse, Sirius, if you don't talk to me about this now." James said, following Sirius down the stairs.

"James, will you kindly shut the fuck up?" Sirius snapped, walking as quickly as he could through the common room and out the portrait hole.

"Not until you tell me what is going on to make you such a prick lately." James said, hot on his heels. "It's because of you and Remus, isn't it?"

"James, you don't know anything about what goes on between me and Remus." Sirius said bitterly, taking the stairs two at a time.

"Listen, Sirius," James grabbed Sirius by the shoulder and whirled him around. "I don't want to fight."

"I think you do!" Sirius said.

"I think you have feelings for Remus." James said quickly before Sirius could turn back around.

"Say that again and I'll knock your fucking teeth out." Sirius said, feeling with an uncomfortable realisation that tears were forming in his eyes.

"Look. I'm sorry for being so rude and you know - punching you in the face and stuff - but you have been a royal prick to everyone around you ever since about a week before we came back to school. I know that it's because you're confused, Sirius. I know that's what was going on all summer." James said, his voice more gentle now. "You'd have to be pretty dense not to notice."

Sirius took a deep breath. His thoughts were racing a mile a minute.

"I didn't want to talk to you about it like this but I can't keep going with your behaviour, mate." James said. "Last night you were a right shit head to Lily. I'm worried she'll never speak to you again after what you said. And so I'm happy I kicked the shit out of you, in a way."

Sirius rolled his eyes. He shoved his hands in his pockets and kept walking towards the front doors. Night was beginning to fall now - the sky a deepening indigo. He prayed with all his heart he wasn't about to break down and cry in front of James. He would rather die.

"You know what, James? You have two parents who love you. You have a home to go to for the holidays. You have a bright future. Teachers love you. Girls love you. You're head boy. You're on the fast track to getting the girl you've been dreaming of since you were in first year." Sirius said, taking a ragged breath to keep the tears away. "Forgive me for being a little bit distraught when my parents throw me out of the house I grew up in, however much I hated it there. Forgive me for being a little terrified when my best friend suddenly cares more about girls and school than he does about having a good time. Forgive me for getting a little upset at finding out one of them has a huge crush on me and not knowing how to deal with it."

James recoiled slightly, but nodded.

"Those are reasons, mate. Not excuses." James replied calmly.

Sirius walked quickly across the lawns, cool grass crunching under his trainers.

"I will have scars for years from what my father did to me." Sirius finally said.

"So will Remus." James said solemnly. "You love him, Sirius. This is what this is all about."

Sirius felt the tears coming and, in an instant, transformed. Immediately, his racing thoughts cooled to a murmur. Thoughts as Padfoot were easier to process - more simple, more linear. Wriggling out of his clothes, he ran hard for the Willow, dodging and weaving in and out of branches in order to hit the knot.

James was right behind him and Padfoot ran into the tunnel, following Remus and Wormtail's scent. He could hear the still-human screams coming from the end of the tunnel with his heightened sense of hearing. Padfoot responded - loud barks, howling, anything that Remus could possibly hear.

When they burst finally into the Shack minutes later, Padfoot found Remus mid-transformation. Wormtail was dancing back and forth around the wolf, useless.

James became Prongs and together he and Padfoot moved in. The scent of vomit and blood filled Padfoot's nose. Someone had forced Remus to eat. He thought everyone knew to not make him eat.

Moony tossed back his head as the transformation completed itself and howled - a strangled, horrible sound that Padfoot hadn't heard in years. This transformation was not going to be easy to deal with.

Prongs advanced with his head down, antlers forcing Moony into a corner. Long claws answered, swiping hard at Prongs' head. Prongs dodged, but only just so.

They had made significant process in the past couple years to ease Remus' transformations. The last few months of their previous school year they had even managed to leave the Shack and roam the Forbidden Forest together. It had been thrilling; an adventure unlike any other they had ever undertaken.

But tonight - tonight was just as bad as it had been when they had first started coming along with Remus to the Shack. Moony was already covered in his own blood and his maw was caked with vomit. The transformation had been painful.

Cornered, the wolf howled. Padfoot paced back and forth, barking and baring his teeth, showing the wolf he wasn't about to be dominated, though everything in his dog's spirit told him to bend the knee. This wolf was an alpha. Padfoot was small, less powerful - in every way he should have been the beta to Moony's lead. But Padfoot bared his teeth, did not break eye contact, did not back down.

Wormtail had done his bit; he had calmed the tree. From here on out, Wormtail was more in charge of watching and keeping an eye out for intruders. It was rare, but the Hogsmeade rumours of this Shack being haunted had drawn curious thrill seekers before.

Hours passed. Padfoot collected scratches and bruises and gashes and Prongs had nearly had his left foreleg broken, but they continued to fight the wolf down.

Finally, the wolf tired itself out, panting heavily on all fours, staring the stag and the dog down with eyes that spelled revenge. But his strength had gone.

Prongs collapsed, breathing heavily, but Padfoot stood strong, maintaining eye contact with Moony. The dog knew better than to break it. Breaking it meant submission and probably death.

Padfoot moved closer, sniffing the air madly for any warning sign of hostility from the wolf. The steady scent of fear wafted towards him, but nothing else. Padfoot advanced, and just as he was within touching distance, the wolf struck.

Claws dug into Padfoot's side, tearing flesh and fur to reveal bright red. Padfoot uttered a yelp and managed to steady himself on his feet. It was deep, but not grievously so. Prongs got immediately to his feet, antlers down and backing the wolf away. But Moony picked himself up and looked as if he were about to go after Padfoot again, but instead took his claws to himself.

Padfoot barked madly, lunging at the wolf to keep the claws away, but there was nothing he could do. Prongs and Padfoot exchanged terrified glances, but all they could do was watch Moony tear himself to shreds.

When the dawn broke and Moony changed back into Remus, he was bloody and bruised and barely breathing. Padfoot transformed in an instant, and sprang to his feet, clutching at the bleeding wound at his side. He collapsed, half blind from sweat and exhaustion and tears, next to Remus.

"Don't die." Sirius whispered, scooping Remus into his arms.

"Go!" James yelled at Peter who was standing off to one side, pulling his clothes back on. "Get help!"

Peter nodded and bolted for the door back to the tunnel.

Sirius leaned over Remus, taking in the extent of the damage, unable to think straight. James was pacing back and forth, his clothes back on. Sirius was still naked, and so was Remus, but he didn't care.

Sirius cradled Remus' head in his arms, tears streaming so fast and so hard he could barely see.

"Please, wake up." Sirius begged, pressing his forehead to Remus' and praying, to whom he wasn't sure, that Remus would open his eyes.

They stayed like that in total silence for minutes, with nothing but the sound of James' pacing and the slow trickle of blood against the ground. James at some point had draped a blanket around Sirius' shoulders, but it didn't stop the shivering. Sirius rocked back and forth, his forehead pressed firmly against Remus's, crying.

"Sirius?"

Sirius peeled his face away from Remus' long enough to see Remus' bright blue eyes staring groggily up at him.

"Oh, holy shit." Sirius managed to whisper before leaning down and kissing him.

Remus' hands slowly came up to the sides of Sirius' face and pulled him in closer.

"I'm okay." Remus said, his voice barely more than a whisper.

"Don't speak." Sirius replied, before pressing his lips back against Remus'.

At some point, James came up behind them and put his hand on Sirius' shoulder.

"McGonagall is coming. We need to leave." James said gently.

Sirius nodded, taking the blanket from his own shoulders and draping it around Remus' naked body. James handed him his clothes which he slowly and carefully stepped into. He was still bleeding copiously from his side and James had to hold him up so he didn't fall over.

Just as Sirius had pulled his shirt on, Professor McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey burst through the tunnel door.

~ REMUS ~

The rest of the night passed mostly as a blur. He remembered being put onto a stretcher and being carried to the hospital wing. He remembered Sirius' fingers in his hair and their lips touching, but he wasn't sure if it had been a dream or not.

He had woken three days later and had lay silently in bed for a few hours listening to the goings-on outside the curtains. From what he had extrapolated simply from lying quietly and listening, Sirius was still in the hospital, as well. James and Peter had been in and out all afternoon, presumably around classes.

He had been busy trying to put the events of the night of the full moon straight in his head when he was interrupted by the sounds of an argument breaking out just outside the curtains to his bed. Something about quidditch tryouts and who got to use whose shin pads.

"Will you all kindly shut it?" Remus called out, his voice hoarse from disuse.

The curtains immediately snapped open followed by a bright burst of light.

"You're awake!" Peter exclaimed, pushing his way through first, followed by James and then Sirius who were both wrestling to get in next.

"Cor…." James exclaimed, catching sight of the bandage around Remus' entire chest and left arm.

"It's pretty impressive." Remus said with a hoarse chuckle.

Remus' heart jumped when he saw Sirius, even though he, too, was bound up in a bandage around his ribs which he could see through the hospital gown he was wearing. Had Sirius been in here this whole time, too?

James was sporting a black eye, but he wasn't sure if that was from the night of the full moon or from his and Sirius' fist fight. Whatever tension there had been between Sirius and James had clearly dissolved.

"Will you two kindly get the fuck out?" Sirius asked, grabbing Peter by the shirt collar and forcibly ejecting him from the curtains. He then pushed on James by the chest until he left.

"Get better!" James called, just as Sirius snapped the curtains closed in his face.

"Merlin's beard," Sirius said, gathering his pale blue hospital gown around himself before settling gingerly on the edge of Remus' bed. He swung his legs up onto the bed and pushed his way in.

"Scootch." Sirius commanded. Remus obeyed.

"Should you be out of bed?" Remus asked, wincing as Sirius got him to slide over.

"Maybe not." Sirius shrugged. His long hair had been tied back into a ponytail at the base of his neck. Remus had never seen him wear it like that before.

"Your hair looks nice." Remus said.

"Thanks." Sirius said.

A moment of silence fell between them before they both lunged forwards and tangled themselves in each others arms. Lips locked, eyes closed.

"I can fucking hear you two in there." came James' disgruntled voice from just outside the curtains.

"Then you should be paying us for the pleasure." Sirius replied before snuggling up under Remus' chin.

"I want you to know you have a fat head." Remus groaned under the weight of Sirius' hug.

"Don't care." Sirius sighed happily. "I want to crush you."

"But I just woke up. Do I have to die so soon?" Remus sighed, twisting his free hand into the hair that had come loose from the ponytail."

"Oh, don't joke about that." Sirius said, glancing up at Remus. "Seriously, don't. I thought you were going to die in my arms and I was never going to see you again."

Remus felt a weight drop into his stomach.

"Was it really that bad?" Remus asked, running his fingers through Sirius' hair.

"We made it just in time for you to transform. James and I." Sirius said. "I'm sorry we were late. James was being an emotional twat on the way down to see you and when we got there things were bad, Moony. Really bad. I'd never seen you like that before and James - well, James and I both thought you were dead for sure. You clawed yourself up so badly that I - "

Sirius paused.

"It's okay, you don't have to keep going." Remus said.

"Thanks." Sirius sighed, finding Remus' hand and entwining their fingers.

"I think it's because you thought James and I weren't coming." Sirius said quietly.

"I heard you barking right before I transformed." Remus said, the memory coming back to him.

"Not in time." Sirius said. "The wolf had already got to you."

They lay quietly together for a while, Sirius listening to Remus' heart beat while Remus played with his hair.

"I'm sorry, Remus." Sirius said. "I am. I've been nothing but a little shit for weeks."

"Don't." Remus replied. "Let's not go there. Not now."

Remus tilted Sirius' chin up and kissed him again.

Somehow, the pain didn't matter so much anymore.

FIN