Neighbourly

"Hello? Is this Mr. Alec Trevelyan?"

A moment of silence, "Yes."

"Ah," he continued a little hesitantly, "this is Quentin Taylor, your neighbour."

"My neighbour," came the deadpan reply. The voice on the line was deep and slightly familiar from cordial greetings in passing. A voice Quentin admittedly quite liked. But in this case it was also rather unbending – it gave him nothing.

Still, he'd taken initiative as a good neighbour and he was damn well following through.

"Yes, I live to the right of you – the nerd with the black cat. I'm sorry to disturb you -"

There was the sound of a loud bang through the phone and Quentin fell silent from the sudden shock of it. His conversational partner, however, remained utterly calm. "How did you get this number?"

"Um." He had hacked MI6 to find the man, agent's, phone number but that was not something he wanted to admit to, especially not to someone who worked there. In hindsight this was a very ill-conceived idea.

For a long moment the only sounds were the unidentified noises from the other side of the phone.

He cleared his throat, "That- uh. Well, that's not really the relevant issue right now. It- uh. It appears someone was trying and has, by now, broken into your apartment. I felt it might be something you wished to be informed of."

"Description?" was the no-nonsense reply.

"Ah, I'll send a photograph to your phone."

The agent let out a soft grunt of acknowledgment and presumably took a moment to look at the photograph that Quentin had taken by hacking into the build-in camera in a laptop left open on his neighbour's coffee table. He sincerely hoped the man was not too defensive about his privacy. It was not a move Quentin would have made lightly, obviously, but he'd been aware that his neighbour was some sort of law enforcement or agent and therefore assumed that the consequences of someone breaking into the man's apartment could very well be more serious than a stolen television.

A snort, "I know him. He's a… friend."

Quentin blinked and wondered if that brief pause before the man said 'friend' was in any way meaningful. It might well be another word for enemy. Or significant other. Or assassin. Or any number of other things.

As a rule, the hacker much preferred clarity in situations like this. "When you say 'friend' you mean an actual friend? Or is that secret agent speak for something else entirely?"

"An actual friend," the man clarified with what sounded like amusement.

"Oh, good." Though why anyone would feel the need to break into a friend's high security apartment was anyone's guess. "Oh! Oooh, bad."

"Bad? Why is that bad?"

"I… may have overreacted to- a small extent, in that case."

At some point, within the exchange of a few sentences, the agent's voice had softened from hard and business-like to something rather more pleasant. Which Quentin was thankful for even if the man's amusement seemed to be at his expense.

"Did you call the police on him?" his neighbour asked and Quentin could practically hear the grin the man was undoubtedly wearing come through in his voice.

Oh, that would have been a logical course of action to take. But it was also one that never occurred to him – some genius he was. "Ah, no. That would have been far too logical," he admitted a bit sheepishly.

Agent Trevelyan snorted. "Dare I ask what you did?"

"I may have," Quentin started as he unconsciously closed his eyes as if flinching away from a terrible sight, "...killed all electronics in your apartment for a moment, including the lights, which lured him into the utility room to check on the plugs. And well, that room has an electronic lock and no other exits."

The other man just laughed as if it was the funniest thing he had heard in a long time.

On the bright side, the MI6 agent didn't seem to be angry with him – not this one, in any case. Judging by the skill and the physique of the person who had broken in, this friend may well be a colleague.

On the other hand, he was also less than helpful.

"Can you at least call your friend and ask him not to murder me in my sleep?" Quentin tried when the laughter died down, "I was trying to be a good neighbour."

"I'll call him. And don't worry; should he want revenge, I'm sure he'd prefer murdering you fully awake and aware."

That had better be some secret agent humour. "If that's a joke, it's not funny."

"Trust me," the agent said, "it's hilarious."

He waited it out for ten minutes, hoping that the amused man had kept his word and placed the call. There were no cameras in the utility room that he could hijack.

Just to be sure he decided to get his own apology out there as well.

"Um, Agent Bond? Uh… this is Agent Trevelyan's neighbour?" he broadcast through the Wi-Fi speaker on the washing machine, "I'm really sorry about this. In my defence. Well, I was being a good neighbour? So, uh, I'll let you out now. Also, please don't kill me?"

He released the electronic locks in his neighbour's home.

And then engaged his own security. All of it.

Predictably, the agent didn't stay inside his friend's house but calmly walked towards Quentin's own residence, eyeing the door speculatively.

Quentin let his head fall back against the backrest of his chair and stared up at the ceiling for a long moment.

Did he still have food in the refrigerator? He'd been planning on getting a pizza but he was suddenly feeling certain he'd be spending the rest of his evening in lockdown.

Maybe he had a frozen pizza in the fridge?

He should have had some sort of supplies ready for these kinds of situations. If he had enough food he could just wait it out until the man was sent on a mission for MI6.

Wait. That was an idea. He could always – nudge the system a bit to get the man a mission.

Of course, that would be very much illegal.

He really shouldn't do that.

Really shouldn't.

He checked his cameras. Agent Bond was eyeing the tree in the backyard now.

He sighed and started hacking.

So much for being a good neighbour.

A.N. I don't know how I ended up in this fandom. I think it was Sherlock crossovers? Maybe. It's all fuzzy now, but Q is great.
I've seen at least some of the new(ish) movies, but not the most recent one. It's been a while anyway. If Q has an actual name, I don't know it.

But yeah, this is how they all meet. Eventually.