Chapter 1

It was a gorgeous day outside; the enigma of a day with reduced probability of tragedy akin to Oedipus 360 quicknoscoping his father and donging his mother. The birds were vocalizing the sweet melody of ear splitting warbling of Nickleback level glass shattering, and the sun was like a Beacon in the sky, supplementing the wondrous morning atmosphere with mellow light and cancer inducing UV rays.

Nora knew that Ren was not a morning person, so sometimes she tries to make the morning fun for him. Today she was naked and pouring pillowy mounds of maple syrup all over his large Asian morning wood. She stroked the embiggening dong continuing to swell and harden like a Metapod as the sticky maple syrup dribbled down to his tiny Chinese scrotum and gooch. For some odd reason, Ren woke up, choosing not to count the sheep of his dreams jumping over the metaphorical fence of his imagination and instead slaughtering them and selling the bodies to the black market for meats.

Nora ascended Ren's hips like a dark god resting his buttocks upon his steel throne in the underworld and firmly planted Ren's raging sugary dong with the passion of a thousand Dr. Oobleck's straight into her quivering womanhood, careful not to let the acidic maple syrup damage her satanic ovaries, the gates that would one day release her brood and ruin everything.

"I'm Queen of the Castle! I'm Queen of the Castle!" Nora shouted as she wrecked herself before checking herself with Ren's syrup baptized serpent while shoving a large golden chess piece into her shitter. As Nora accelerated to Mach 69, Ren launched his Weiss colored sticky-as-syrup egg fertilizer curd at high Ruby speed level velocity out of his urethral opening, landing a direct hit into Nora's syrup encrusted vagina. Nora gasped, poked Ren in the nose, and said "Boop!". Ren said nothing, stoic as the cliff side of the sea as mentally handicapped sailors crashed into it, the jagged rocks rending their skin and splintering their bones, leaving them helpless as the dark sea claimed them and they descended to the depths, never being heard from again.

Nora got off Ren, removing his satisfied morning wood and standing, a Mao Zedong stepping down from leadership. Nora proceeded to suckle on Ren's dong in order to prevent the spread of sexually transmitted diseases towards herself such as Hepatitty M and Ebola, and to make sure that Nora's god desecrating ovaries would not cause Ren to become pregnant, thus forcing her to pay child support and never have intimate sexual moments for the next 18 years.

With the superb timing of Jaune on his period, Cardin trespassed into the dorm of JNPR, in the vain hopes of getting a discreet viewing of Pyrrha's shapely gladiator ass. The scenario paralleled to a greater time in the golden 1930's, when Richard Nixon stormed the GamerGate hotel in the pursuit of free porn, but the hotel was hosting a furry convention, causing the creatures of Grimm to be born from his testicles and him losing the presidency. Like Nixon, Cardin is not a crook.

Instead, Cardin's eyes beheld Ren's almighty horsecock. Despite Cardin's testosterone fueled bully rampages, his insistence that Velvet cried when he forced his feeble can opener into her craphole when in reality Velvet's ass was laughing at him, and his blustering, Ren's dong would mlg 1v1 dust wreck Cardin's. Cardin's weird ass mace weapon was chosen subconsciously, in an effort to escape reality and compensate for his tiny tiddlywinker. Tears freely flowing down his cheeks, Cardin turned to leave the room.

"IT'S NO USE!" Nora shouted in the name of President King Arthur as she ejaculated syrup from her pink onto the floor, the sweet adhesive binding Cardin's large ham shaped feet. Ren walked into the hallway as Nora used her hammer to break Cardin's legs, the bone support structures crumbling like twin towers. His screams were hilarious. With his legs now out of operation, Cardin was no longer able to stand upright and fell to the floor, only his arms able to keep his torso aloft, away from the repulsive acidic mixture of maple syrup and Nora's demonic fuckjuices currently binding and blistering his knees. In his vulnerable state, Ren easily shoved his moist god slaying dick into Cardin's conscientiously protesting anal passage while Nora shattered Cardin's teeth with her boobs of steel and stole his wallet.

"Aww, it's broken!" Nora pouted as she tore off Cardin's jaw and he began to choke on his blood. Particles of syrup and Nora's snatchmoist had dripped from Cardin's recently massacred ass jowls onto his scrotum, causing several bulbous bleeding blisters to erupt. Chunky blocks of fecal matter spewed out of Cardin's nostrils, as his rectum was wrecked and his throat was currently occupied by Nora's foot, leaving the shit nowhere else to run.

Ren came and Nora cracked Cardin's skull open by whacking it with a grenade. The grenade exploded, blowing Cardin's inferior body to viscous giblets while leaving Nora and Ren unharmed and sanitizing Ren's erect whomper. In order to hide the evidence, Nora picked up all the little pieces of Cardin and gave him a proper burial in the toilet. Ren was please. Nora took a nap.

To be continued