The Ruins

Summary:

The Doctor longs to get closer to Clara but struggles to break his habit of freezing up at her touch. He decides to free himself of this unwanted consequence of his new regeneration by travelling alone to the far away planet of Zolia, where he intends to take part in a ceremony held by the women of the Desert Solar Temple – the ritual is sexual and he feels certain this experience will cure him of his dread of being touched forever.

But the experience proves so intense and life changing, that the Doctor unexpectedly falls for Megdala, the High Priestess of the Solar Temple - whose people have been forced to live in the desert for many centuries by the town dwellers, who consider the remains of the sand gypsy tribe little more than savages.

But the Doctor knows very soon a terrible event will play out in the history of the planet – the now technologically advanced urban half of this world have discovered how to split the atom, and have chosen the desert as a testing site – not realising they are condemning the people of the tribe to a slow and painful death...

Knowing his warnings will be dismissed as nonsense, the Doctor knows there is nothing he can do to prevent the tragedy – but when he tells Megdala the truth, and offers an escape route to the woman who believes her life is forever bound to a temple she is forbidden to leave, she refuses to go, and the Doctor is faced with a choice :

Does he stay to care for his dying lover, or return to Earth, where Clara is waiting for him?

Rated R for - conversations of a sexual nature, scenes of a sexual nature, scenes of body piercing, tattooing and scenes of drug taking. Also deals with the subject of mortality.

Disclaimer – I own nothing at all, I write for love of fan fiction.

Chapter 1

The Tardis landed on cracked ground where a river had once flowed but had long since dried up. As the Doctor stepped out in his black suit he was not bothered by the heat of the day, because here on the planet of Zolia it was the middle of winter, making the desert land feel more like warm spring time on earth.

All around the ground was rocky, the earth was covered with sand blown on to the old weathered pathway close by, and here and there sprigs of greenery broke up the landscape.

Up ahead, an old camp site had long ago become a permanent home to the sand gypsies, the true people of this planet.

As he walked on he took in the sight of the dwellings crafted from large bricks cut from the planet's surface, there was a camp fire burning in the main square and children ran about playing while the adults stood around talking, or sat together in friendly, close groups.

This place was not as crowded as it would have been a century before. The gypsies of Zolia had long ago been driven from their land, denied the freedom to drift as they pleased, and now their population was dwindling.

He reflected it was probably a good thing, considering the so called smarter side of the population in the urban zone had come up with the clever idea of splitting the atom... Soon they would use land dangerously close to the settlement to test their A bombs, and then, what was left of the alien gypsy people would be gone.

It wasn't a deliberate act.

It was more a consequence of stupidity on the part of the settlers who had come from a nearby planet, keen to spread out the human population through the stars.

The sand gypsies were not so different to their human neighbours, their eyes were bright green and they wore clothing of shimmering silk, but they were very humanoid.

And the humans from earth were about to destroy them.

It was a disaster the Doctor knew he could not avoid.

The earth descended urban population thought they knew everything, and would not listen to the warnings of one man, even if he was a two thousand year old Timelord...

They would set off the bombs and the sand gypsies would die.

They would call it a tragedy, and learn from it.

And that was perhaps the worst thing about it – humans...they always had to make huge, devastating mistakes costing lives, before lessons were finally learned...

Not that knowing that put him off a certain human who was back on earth in another time and place, teaching a class at Coal Hill School...

His hearts briefly ached as he thought of Clara, and suddenly the distance between them seemed too far.

But that distance would always be too far, and they would never be close enough if he didn't fix a problem that had dogged him since his regeneration:

He could not bear closeness, could not bear to be touched.

He did not want to freeze every time Clara put her arms around him.

He knew if he didn't resolve that issue, pretty soon she'd be off with Mr Pink the soldier boy, because although he was not a Timelord, he could handle tenderness, he could embrace her without freezing and pushing her away...

It had to stop.

He kept that thought in mind as he entered the settlement, some of the people around the camp fire glanced his way and he politely nodded to them and then continued on his way, through the main square and towards a pathway that led up to a temple built of the same sand-shaded bricks as the housing.

This was the solar temple of Zolia, probably the last temple of its kind now the population had shrunk so dramatically thanks to pressure to make the natives break with their tribe and settle in the urban area.

"Who are you?"

The Doctor stopped walking and turned around to see a young woman standing on the pathway. Her fair hair fell to her shoulders and her eyes were an unearthly shade of green.

"You can not go up there," she said to him, "That pathway, you know where it leads?"

"Yes, to the temple," the Doctor replied, and as he thought of what he was about to subject himself to when he got there, he began to break out in a light sweat and he unbuttoned his jacket.

"But tomorrow is the day of the darkening," she replied.

"Yes, the solar eclipse I know. That's what I'm here for."

And he turned away and began to walk along the path once more, uphill, and he was sweating again so this time he reached up and opened the collar of his shirt, opening three buttons.

"You can not visit the temple today!" the woman called back.

The Doctor turned again, this time abruptly as impatience blazed in his blue eyes.

"I can do what I like, I'm a Timelord!" he said sharply, "A Timelord with plans... that's all you need to know."

And then as she looked at him in surprise, he turned back and continued on the uphill path towards the temple entrance.

As the Doctor reached the closed temple doorway, he hesitated as he felt a flutter of nervousness that went somewhere between butterflies and the urge to throw up.

"Just do it," he muttered to himself, "Do it and get it over with and go home to Clara.." And then he drew in a slow breath, gathered up his courage and knocked on the wooden door.

It was too late now, he had knocked.

That realisation, that there could be no backing out – settled the worst of his nervousness as he continued to perspire.

"I don't want to do this," he whispered as he waited, and then he silently reflected there was nothing else he could do, not if he wanted to rid himself of this glitch in his persona the new regeneration had left him with – a glitch that could cost him Clara, or any other woman who came along during the course of his long lifetime, if this was not resolved now...

There was still no answer.

As the Doctor stood there looking at the door and waiting for it to open, it occurred to him that if he was quick, really quick, he could always turn around, run back down the hill and go back to the Tardis and -

No.

That would be silly...

"You're a Timelord!" he said aloud, "Start acting like one...Stop running away from this!"

And he knocked a second time.

Still there was no answer.

He gave a sigh, resisted the urge to look back down the pathway at a last glimpse of freedom – freedom? Where did that come from?

Why was he so desperate to escape back to the Tardis, leave this world and forget he ever came here?

Most men – including many of his other former lifetimes – would have relished the chance to be here, doing this...

His Fifth persona would have loved it. So would his Ninth and definitely his Tenth. And Eleven would have asked to stay on for a few more days to go through it all again, he would have thought of it as great fun...

"But not me," the Doctor sad, and then he laughed as he thought how absurd he sounded:

What was he so afraid of?

He was about to volunteer to be stripped and massaged and oiled down by three beautiful women who would prepare him for the ceremony, which basically involved sex with the High Priestess.

Maybe all his other selves would have enjoyed it.

But not him, not now.

Too much touching...

And that was what he had to get over, that fear of being touched. If this didn't cure him, nothing would.

He thought of Clara.

The Doctor imagined leaving this place and wrapping his arms around her and seeing the look in her eyes when she realised, he had touched her first, he had pulled her close, and he was not letting go, not telling her No hugging...

Suddenly he felt stronger, and that was fortunate, because at that moment, the door opened.

"Who are you?" said the woman who stood in the doorway as she looked at him in surprise.

Clearly, these people were not used to outsiders coming to call. And the Doctor smiled nervously as he looked at the young woman in the flowing lilac gown, it hugged her curves in all the right places and the neckline plunged deeply. Her long chestnut hair fell to her shoulders, and was almost the same shade as Clara's.

Now this felt easier.

He could shut his eyes and imagine she was Clara...

Then the Doctor made a silent wish:

Please, be the High Priestess. I can do you, I can think of her and screw your brains out, especially during the eclipse when it all goes dark, in that moment I won't have to think about reality...

"I'm here for the ceremony," he said to her, "I am a traveller, I've come a long way through the stars to be here. I want to join the Priestess for the Darkening and the Coming of the Light."

The woman looked at him suspiciously.

"I'm genuinely here to participate!" he said, and hoped he didn't sound too desperate as his nerves got the better of him and he stood in front of her visibly perspiring, "I'm not some pervert here for a thrill – I'm a Timelord, my name is the Doctor. I need help, and I think the ceremony can help me. Please tell me you're the Priestess!"

The woman looked at him thoughtfully, taking in the sight of the older, distinguished man who looked rather handsome, yet nervous as he met her gaze, and then she smiled.

"I think she may be interested," she replied, "There is not much faith left in our community any more, and an outsider who has come so far may well be allowed to participate – come inside, I will take you to the Priestess."

As she stepped back to let him in, he hoped she didn't see a brief flash of panic in his eyes. He followed her in and his mouth went dry and he knew he was still sweating...

She lead him through a white walled hallway and out to a garden, where here the ground was well watered and cared for and shrubbery and trees flourished.

She gestured to a bench beside a place where water ran over rocks and the sound was gentle and soothing.

"Wait here," she said to him, "The Priestess will see you shortly."

The Doctor sat down, shot her a nervous glance and said nothing in reply.

Tension was building again and he shifted in his seat, glanced down at the running water and then to the lawn in front of him as he thought about this decision to come here in the first place, and again he wondered if there was any way he could back out...

He wanted to back out.

But he also knew if he did, his problem would never be resolved.

This was about facing his fears...

Then, as he sat there waiting, a thought hit him.

It was a thought that made him give a groan.

"Oh no!" he exclaimed, wishing he could unthink it, but it was too late because it was there in his head:

What if she was ugly?

Not just plain or standard non attractive, but hideously ugly...

He drew in a breath and let it out slowly, forcing himself to be calm.

"Stop it!" he muttered under his breath, "Just get on with it, get it over with – and she's not ugly!"

Then he thought beyond the Priestess:

There was pain associated with this ceremony.

Did he really want to get a tattoo etched into his flesh using an ancient method involving a hot blade and home made inks?

Did he really want to get a piercing in his right nipple?

Did he even know if he had a fear of needles in this regeneration?

And why, oh why was the thought of all this causing him even the vaguest sensations of arousal?

The Doctor straightened up in his seat, drew in another breath, brushed a trickle of sweat from his face and looked nervously about the garden, hoping to spot a gate, his only hope - a back way out of here.

But there wasn't one...

"Doctor?"

Her voice was soft.

The Doctor had been looking to the back of the garden, and he turned his head sharply to see a woman standing over him. She was tall and shapely and wore a black dress that clung to her curves. Her bright green eyes shimmered, her dark hair tumbled past her shoulders and she was, thank the stars, beautiful...

He stood up, and while his nerves still jangled awkwardly, he felt a little more confident now.

"Yes, I'm the Doctor," he replied, "Are you -"

"I am Megdala, the High Priestess," she replied, "And I understand you have an interest in the ceremony tomorrow. Exactly how interested are you?"

As he looked into her green eyes his twin hearts pounded out of nervousness, fear and something else that made him sweat all over again – this time, it was out of excitement, the kind of excitement an adrenaline junkie might feel on boarding the world's highest and fastest roller coaster...

Suddenly his fears were taking a back seat, at least for now. His composure was quickly regained as he met her gaze.

"I'm more than interested," he replied, "I travelled through time and space to be here for the ceremony."

"In what capacity do you wish to join the ceremony?" she asked.

He didn't hesitate to give his reply.

"An active one," he replied, "I'm here to be the sacrifice, Megdala."