hUEGGHH WHATS UP.

I love you all so much your comments make me laugh and cry and smile and omfg.

Also for once I don't actually need to add any extra notes in here! Fucking omegaverse.

Kageyama didn't like to be cornered, nor did he like to feel insecure. His mind was a clean, cool court full of walls and sleek floors. His thoughts were like volleyball plays-calculated, effective, honest.

Except for freak quicks.

Hinata in his mind was the same as Hinata in his life. Fast, energetic, unpredictable. Kageyama had only experienced unpredictability once before in volleyball and that had been when he was left alone, tossing to no one. His teammates' backs burned into his mind. Yet, Hinata drew out that surprise in Kageyama (and pretty much every team they played) and it wasn't unpleasant or even threatening. He didn't feel lost around Hinata.

Part of his mind was bothered by the fact that his perfect thoughts could get distorted by a short little spiker, but Kageyama boiled it all down to slips in the universe. He had given up trying to fight that spirit, instead embracing it by all means. He thought then that perhaps Hinata was like a light guiding him through the court, making sure he didn't miss anything or anyone along the way.

Kageyama blushed and groaned, shoving his face in his hands. Left alone, finally conscious enough to think, he couldn't keep himself from drifting to thoughts of Hinata. No matter what he did, his body seemed to betray him in the cruelest way possible. He had been contemplating his feelings obsessively since ten in the morning and he wasn't even really sure why.

He looked up; the sun was beginning to curve below the horizon, the light grazing his window and sending warm trails across Kageyama's room. Even then, he still felt cold.

An ache had formed at the bottom of his stomach and he immediately recognized it as dread. He wasn't sure if it was going to be Hinata's reaction or the team's arrival. He was counting down the minutes, eyes glancing nervously to the clock every few moments as he had abandoned his phone after multiple threats had come in on it. Even Tsukishima had texted him.

you've got a lot to sort out once you two get better.

Kageyama was also dreading that. He wondered if Tsukishima knew.

Maybe it was Tsukishima's doing that had him drowning in his crush. Damn that omega.

"No, no." He mumbled, feeling regret burst in his chest at his own cursory opinions. He would not be that alpha. He would not make judgments or classifications and he just couldn't be that alpha.

Unfortunately, the sun was aiming to betray him and it sunk below the skyline. Almost instantly afterwards, Kageyama heard the familiar thunk thunk of footsteps pounding up his stairs and rattling the medals on his wall.

"Kageyamaaaaaaaa!" Tanaka burst in, hands splayed across the door and eyes blazing. Nishinoya followed, still looking quite intimidating despite his small stature.

Even Daichi was there-being serious. Suga was behind him, his hands fisted in Daichi's sweater, his eyes giving Kageyama a warning glance.

He heard pieces of conversation from the rest of the team (it seemed they were all here).

"Alright! Alright, let's not crowd the hallway." Coach called.

Greeeeaaat.

"You guys shouldn't be so loud with a sick person..." Asahi mentioned.

"He's not sick, he's just getting punished." Nishinoya ground out.

Kageyama was numb with fear, watching as they flooded his room and took up every single available space. It was a sea of orange and black. Coach managed to nab the open spot on Kageyama's bed and he coughed loudly, causing the vibrating volleyball players to freeze and release. Nishinoya and Tanaka both held equal amounts of tension on their faces, some of it leaking onto Daichi's (and even Suga's at this point) as they stared him down. Kiyoko looked like the only normal person in the room. The beta held quite the presence.

Kagayama sneezed curtly and that somehow made everyone relax, as if they had forgotten how sick and human he really was.

"Hello." Kageyama managed, his voice raw.

"You've got a lot of answers for us." Tanaka spoke first.

"Questions first, please." Kageyama shot back, feeling more temperamental as of late. He immediately wished he could bite his tongue, hating every word and aggressive instinct that was rolling inside him.

Coach looked like he was going to open his mouth, but suddenly Tanaka looked a lot more determined and he closed it, watching his crows carefully.

"You're so stupid Kageyama. You're really dumb." Tanaka began. "And you know what's more dumb? Not owning up to it. Not asking one of us for advice, not being the alpha you need to be. "

"What do you know about me?" Kageyama barked.

"Enough to realize that you're making a mistake!" Nishinoya carried on.

"You can't just take pills and forget who you are! That's not what rank is about." Daichi was next.

"You just need to understand yourself." Suga

"We don't want to intimidate you or anything, but you really should look after your body Kageyama..." Asahi.

"You're part of a team now Kageyama-kun." Kiyoko.

With each sentence, Kageyama felt like strings were being snapped inside him. Like violin strings broken and curled up, leaving the exposed body behind. He was getting more and more angry with each word. The ache in his stomach increased tenfold and he doubled over, coughing slightly. He felt Coach pat his back kindly, but he brushed him off and tried to set himself up. The pain still remained, but now it was encased in anger born from their confrontation.

All of his early fear had slipped away. Part of Kageyama wished it remained. The other half didn't.

"Shut up! You can't fucking tell me that! How dare you! You think it's a good thing to be an alpha? You're proud of it? Don't gimme that shit. Don't give me lies. I don't have the time for it."

His words were harsh but his thoughts were hurt. He lost control of what he was saying.

"Why are you even here anyways? Did you think you could convince me of something? It's not your responsibility to look after me." He bit out, his breaths long and ragged after his tirade.

The room was silent, his words echoing off the walls. The darkness outside seemed to match their moods precisely as each team member adopted a look of pure surprise and upset. Kiyoko shook her head then and gave Tanaka a long look, her deep eyes matching his thoughts. He nodded gravely and lowered his voice.

"We're your team Kageyama. We are supposed to help you. You aren't alone anymore. You've got us."

You aren't alone anymore.

What did that mean? That he was alone before? That he was now part of a pack? Did he want that?

Kageyama couldn't seem to get words out, his sentences from before seemingly draining his vocabulary.

Kiyoko stood up now, sensing the atmosphere. "We will leave you alphas to talk. I think we might be overwhelming Kageyama-kun."

"Yeah." Suga replied halfheartedly. He looked desperate to stay, but his mind twisted with Kiyoko's words and suddenly the space was narrowed in on Coach Ukai, Tanaka, Daichi, and Nishinoya.

They didn't look so angry anymore. Kageyama spotted sadness in their downturned lips and narrowed eyes. He resisted the urge to sigh.

"Don't push us away Kageyama. We are all alphas. And we stick together. But that doesn't mean we can't stick to betas and omegas either." Daichi said.

"It's not about that." Kageyama insisted.

"Then what is it about? Why would you suppress yourself like that? Why would you hurt yourself like that?" Tanaka asked.

"Just because I'm an alpha doesn't mean to have to like it!" Kagayama retorted.

"Stop dodging the question, damn it!" Nishinoya shouted.

"Why are you being so intrusive? So what if I take suppressants? If I didn't I'd be an overwhelming, hor-"

Daichi moved forward, his dark eyes catching Kageyama in a trance and cutting off his words. Kageyama felt sweat build up on his hands, and he wondered if that ache in his stomach was going to get better or worse. He suddenly felt nauseous again, but when Daichi's hands landed on his thighs and his face was only inches away from Kageyama's, he decided against it (he then realized that his illness was perhaps more psychosomatic than he had originally thought. he tried to ignore that).

"Kageyama. Tobio. You cannot make assumptions about your rank. Alphas are not all controlling assholes. Look at me and Tanaka and Nishinoya. Do we look like awful people to you? Yes, some alphas can be possessive and angry and unbelievably stupid, but I don't think you're that type of guy."

He paused.

"You have to accept who you are. And you have to understand that what you did was incredibly reckless. You're on a team now with people who care about you. Being an alpha won't ruin your life or make us view you any differently."

Kageyama couldn't breathe. He was trapped; he was trapped physically and trapped logically. He couldn't, he just couldn't.

"You can't say that. Look at me! I'm angry, I'm sick, I'm irrational."

"Of course you are! It's because you took those lame pills, that's why your body is all out of whack." Nishinoya piped up. "You can't just ruin your hormones like that and expect to come back all better."

Kageyama looked down, shame burning his face. "How do you know these feelings will go away? How do you know that? I could just be like this all the time."

"Because you're our setter. And you're responsible and I know you actually care underneath that stupid exterior of yours." Nishinoya explained.

"He's right, you know. You can't judge yourself now and you can't simply jump to conclusions about your alpha habits. Yes, you'll be more aggressive and hot-tempered, but you won't be unbearable." Daichi stated.

Kageyama felt the pain burst again and he gasped. Daichi released him immediately. Kageyama coughed loudly, trying not to bend in half and cry. Perhaps it was more than dread after all.

"I can-you don't understand. What if-what if I hurt someone?" Kageyama voiced.

"Why would you hurt someone? You're not a violent person, man." Tanaka replied.

"Because that's what alphas do!" He yelled, the words slamming into everyone in the room. "And that's what they've always done. And I can't be that person who hurts othe-ah!"

The pain was sharp now, like a knife slipping under his skin.

"I can-I can't hurt Shouyou." Kageyama wasn't sure when he had begun to refer to Hinata with his first name, but the syllables felt right.

The others seemed stunned now. Coach took his chance.

He gathered himself and pulled Kageyama close. Kageyama suddenly deflated, the tension leaving his body. The ache was still there, but at least the knife had been pulled out, leaving a gaping, throbbing wound in it's wake. Coach's arm around his back felt like a reassurance, like ropes tying him to the ground.

"Kageyama-san. I don't want you to think we're ganging up on you. But you cannot do this again. Do you know how scary it was for us? To watch you get sick like that? Do you think Hinata-san would want that?"

Kageyama shook his head.

"Alphas are not about dominance. Not anymore. We're all people Kageyama, but life is hard, and we have to deal with whatever is thrown at us. Unfortunately, the world is made up of systems and rankings and roles. But we get over it. We respect one another and we respect ourselves. Does that make sense?"

Kageyama spat out a muffled affirmative.

"Hinata-san is kind, he's bright, and he's the biggest idiot on this team besides you. Do you really think he would treat you any differently? And do you really think you'd hurt him?"

Kageyama shivered. Unconsciously, the other three members in the room had come to circle them, their pheromones responding to Coach Ukai's comforting words.

"I don't know. I just-I'm so scared. I'm so scared I'll hurt him and he'll hate me." Kageyama admitted. "Because that's what alphas do. They hurt people. Like Tou-san."

His admission seemed to scare everyone into a stunned sort of silence, but Coach Ukai only drew him closer.

"I'm sorry Kageyama-san. I'm sorry you have to feel this way. Let us help you. Let us guide you."

"I'm-I'm-" His words were slurred and stuttered, his heart too heavy to go on. The ache continued.

Tanaka rubbed his head. "Hey, just calm down and rest. We need you back at practice too."

"We just want you to accept yourself, to be the alpha you need to be. And you don't have to be weird or overbearing or angry!" Nishinoya tried, flashing one of his signature grins.

"Yeah!"

Kageyama heard their voices in his head, but for once their words seemed to stick. Suddenly, the shining court of his mind was filled with players, with eyes and arms and legs and laughter and people.

Kageyama lifted his head up. "I can't promise you things. But I can-I can try." His words ended with a big yawn, his cheeks stretching cutely.

Coach Ukai bristled. "Hey, hey. Lie down. We do miss you two at practice, you know."

Kageyama nodded, letting himself get guided into the sheets.

He then realized that he was held to obligation, to obligatory words.

Fuck.

"Thank you." He murmured.

Tanaka and Nishinoya lit up. Daichi smiled discreetly.

"I suppose we should go now. Kageyama needs to rest." Daichi mentioned.

"Wait!" Kageyama called. "How is Shouyou?"

"He's with Tsukishima while his heat dies out. You can probably see him in a couple of days." Nishinoya told him.

Tsukishima? Hang in there Hinata. Kageyama thought.

He drifted to sleep slowly, the ache fading along with his sparkling thoughts. He was oddly reassured though, even if the back of his mind was still consumed in his stubborn ways. He found himself stuck between a conflict of interests-the panic of the pills and the promise he had just made.

As the trio left (Coach walking ahead of them to corral the rest of the team into the living room orderly), they all exchanged looks.

"We've absolutely got to set them up." Nishinoya commented, grinning madly.

"Maybe you should work on your own love life first?" Tanaka leered, his eyes drifting to Asahi's large form.

Nishinoya blushed. "Shut up!"

alpha cuddles are my favorite cuddles c:

also you guys are pretty kurotsuki oriented so i might do a oneshot of them in an established relationship. or maybe i will do tsukihina friendship.