When Sandy had been put to bed, Ugga joined the rest of the family around the fire. She crouched behind Eep and Guy, whispering to them, "Are you ready?"

Guy answered "No," at the same moment Eep answered "Yes."

"It'll be fine, Guy," Eep reassured him.

"What are you three whispering about over there?" Grug asked, pointing his sharpened bone toothpick their way. Guy gulped.

Ugga merely smiled and patted his shoulder. "Oh, it's nothing," she said as she stood and took her usual spot between Grug and Gran. "Eep and Guy just have an announcement to make."

"Let me guess," said Gran. "You've got young on the way."

"Dun dun duuun!" chimed Belt.

Thunk asked, "You're going to have a baby, Eep?"

"That's right," Eep said, grinning widely. Guy smiled too, but warily, gaging Grug's reaction. So far so good – he was looking merely stunned at the moment.

"Already?" Grug asked numbly, which resulted in an eye roll from Gran.

"They've been mated for months now, Grug. Get with the program!"

"But they're still so young," he groaned.

"I was younger than Eep is now when she was born," said Ugga.

"But Guy! He and her – her and him –"

Gran threw her hands in the air. "They had sex, Grug! What else is new?"

Grug yelped and put his hands over Thunk's ears. "Don't ruin his innocence, too!"

"But I know what sex is, Dad."

"You . . . what?"

"Yeah, I found out when –"

Guy and Eep stiffened.

"When I told him," said Ugga.

"You told him?"

"We had a nice little talk, didn't we, Thunk?"

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, we did."

"And you didn't tell me –"

"Now's not the time for that conversation, Grug." Ugga leaned over and stroked his arm. "This is wonderful, Grug. We're going to be grandparents."

Wistfully Gran said, "It feels like yesterday we got Sandy sleeping through the night," then added sharply, "and now we're getting another screaming brat."

"Mom, this is great news. How many women live to see their children's grandchildren?"

"One too many," muttered Grug.

For that, he got a hit with her walking stick. "I heard that, you lump!"

Grug batted the stick away, then got to his feet. "I need to take a walk."

Gran called after him, "Don't stay out too late now! Enjoy a good night's sleep while you can!"

When he was safely out of hearing range, Ugga said, "Thunk, I need you to promise me something."

"Sure, Mom."

"Don't ever mention . . . that incident . . . with Guy and Eep to your father. It would make him very upset."

"Oh. Okay."

"There was an incident?" asked Gran. Her eyes rested on Guy and Eep's red faces, then grinned wickedly. "He walked in on you two, didn't he?" She cackled as they looked away.

"Anyway, um, thanks for the save, Mom," said Eep.

Ugga reached around the fire and patted her shoulder. "Of course, sweetie. And Guy, don't you worry about Grug. He just needs some time. Once he gets used to the idea he'll be so excited."

"I'm still not sure he won't strangle me in my sleep."

Gran laughed. "And have to face Eep in the morning? He's not that stupid."

"You really don't have to worry, sweetie," said Ugga. "Everything is going to be fine. We'll all be here to help you two. Aren't you excited to be an uncle, Thunk?"

"Yeah!" After a snore from the nearby crib he added, "As long as it's not like Sandy."

Gran snorted. "Guy's kid? Like Sandy? That'll be the day."

The next morning, Guy awoke with Eep's place beside him empty and Grug's face in his own. With a yelp, he scrambled to the other end of the room.

"Good morning, Guy! Are you ready for some fatherly instruction?"

"Uh, yes? You're not going to kill me, are you?"

"Of course not! What kind of father are you going to be if you're dead?"

Guy hardly had time to be relieved before he was dragged into the forest and spiked into the ground.

"All right, Guy," said Grug. "Today is going to be a special day. Right now, we're standing in Tomorrow, but today is not tomorrow – it's going to be . . . the day after tomorrow."

Confused, Guy turned to Belt, who gave a shrug. "Are you okay, Grug?"

"No!" said Grug. "I am not okay! Do you want to know why?"

"Uh . . ."

"Because today, I am not Grug! I am" – he turned around and faced Guy again, wearing a ratty reddish-purple wig and with a bulge in his pelt – "Eep!"

"What is that on your –"

Grug interrupted Guy with a slap to the face. In falsetto he cried, "I am carrying your miserable spawn, Guy! The least you can do is get me some fish!"

Dizzy from the slap, Guy asked, "What?"

Grug shouted in his face, "Fish! I'm craving fish! Get me some NOW!"

"Okay, okay!" Guy pulled himself out of the ground.

"No, you're not! You are not okay until this baby and I are fed! Now get going!"

Fishing spear in hand, Guy ran into the real Eep on the beach. He fell into her arms and said, "I think we broke your dad."

"What?"

"He's pretending to be you! But even more pregnant! He's making you crave fish."

"And you have to get it for him. Me? Him."

"Yes! You should see the thing he's got on his head. Where does he even get these –"

Out of the forest came a falsetto call. "Oh Guyyyy! Where's my fish?!"

"I gotta go."

Once the fish were cooked and eaten, "Eep" demanded a foot rub. Guy could hardly bring himself to touch Grug's scaly feet. When he was finished, Grug asked in his falsetto, "Tell me, Guy. Do my ankles look fat?"

"Uh . . ."

"Oh no, they are fat! I look so ugly, you must want to leave me."

"No, I would never leave you."

Grug gave a strangled cry which, in falsetto, was anything but easy on the ears. "You want to stay and get me pregnant again? Is that all I am to you, a baby-making machine?"

"No, of course n –"

"Eep" started "weeping." "I don't want to hear it, Guy. Go away! I can't even stand to look at you."

As Guy attempted to soothe his "mate," the rest of the family was starting their day. "It sounds like a dying animal out here," said Gran.

"That's no dying animal," Ugga assured her. "It's Grug's crash course for 'fatherhood.'"

"He's doing his ridiculous impressions again? Why didn't you tell me?" She leapt onto her daughter's back. "Quick! Get me down there! I don't want to miss another minute of it!"

I'm not usually one for ANs, but I just want to reassure everyone that poor Thunk didn't see anything too naughty. Just enough to provoke a conversation with his mother about the facts of life. And embarrass Eep and Guy for the next millennium.

The larger story, if I ever write enough to publish, will be a lot more serious.