Disclaimer: The usual!

Author's Note: So it's been like a year and a half since I updated ... oops. I've been writing a lot of different fics lately on AO3, so I don't write here too often anymore. I'm not sure when I'm going to update this fic again after this. But anyway, here's a new chapter even though most of you are probably gone haha! XD Sorry if this is crappy; it's been a while since I was writing this fic.

This is dedicated to my lovely, amazing, absolutely fantastic friend Ruthabellaaa. She absolutely deserves this chapter to be dedicated and gifted to her, as it was supposed to be posted for her birthday but I'm perhaps a few months late … way too late, really. Oops. Love you, babe! xx

"Uncle Thorin will kill us, Fee!" Kili hissed. "Have you gone mad? I don't want to be over Uncle's lap again!"

"Ah, but see, little brother—" Fili grinned at Kili —"You won't find yourself over Uncle's lap. Do you know why? Because we won't get caught!"

"Aye," Kili replied dryly. "Because we never do, right?"

Fili hushed him. "That's not important."

Kili rolled his eyes. "Fili, I really don't think that—"

"You don't have to come with me if you don't want to," Fili informed his brother pompously. "I'm not going to force you to. But I'm going to go hunting and I'm going to catch myself a nice, big male deer that has gorgeous antlers. Imagine how beautiful that will look! I'm sure Uncle would be so proud and thrown off by the beauty of it that he will not even remember to question where exactly I caught the deer from. Instead, he shall be assured that it's a benefit to bring the both of us with him on the Quest! It'll prove our courage to him!"

"Aye, but then he will eventually find out and then you shall be banned from going on the Quest with him." Kili sounded incredulous. "Fee, I don't know what you're thinking! Are you mad? You're going to get both of us grounded forever while Uncle Thorin reclaims the kingdom of Erebor! Without us!"

"Oh, he'd never do that." Fili waved a hand carelessly. "We are his precious nephews. And, I'm the heir. He would never stop me from coming with him. Really, little brother, I insist — if you're too scared to come with me, do feel free to stay at home! No one is forcing you to come with me. But I will just say — imagine how wonderful it shall be for you to shoot the deer with your marvellous bow-and-arrow skills, and at the end, I shall take the deer's life with my sword!"

"You are being stupid," Kili stated.

"Aye, but brave." Fili winked.

"And reckless."

"But sly."

"I am usually the reckless and stupid one, Fee."

"Well, perhaps it's time for a change!" Fili declared, striding forward and kicking the door open, making Kili jump. Sunlight flooded into the house and Fili grinned. Turning around, he grabbed all the necessary tools he would need to catch himself his prize, and announced, "Well, Kili? It's time for you to decide!"

"You can go and die attempting to be brave!" Kili threw at him.

Fili smirked and shrugged. "Your loss, little brother." He turned around and shut the door. He was about to leave when he paused, hearing thumping noises from behind him. The door was flung open and there stood Kili, all prepared for the adventure they were about to go on. "I knew you would join me." Fili grinned.

"I can't leave my brother to just die in absolute misery," Kili told him. "Now, let's go, before Thorin returns from his visit to Balin's and asks us where we're going. You know he'll know if we're lying."

Fili laughed. "Indeed he will," he agreed as they began to set off towards the woods — which were, of course, forbidden to enter by Thorin's orders. "And we both know that he'll give us that look — the Uncle Thorin look."

"Aye, he will indeed." Kili laughed.

And oh, they should have known. They really should've.

The plan went horribly wrong.

Unfortunately for Fili, he had forgotten that the weather was far too cold for any sort of wildlife, with the exception of squirrels, birds and the occasional hares, to be wandering nearby in the woods.

Kili continued to insist that they return home. "Fee, Uncle Thor'n will surely be at home now!" he exclaimed indignantly. "This is a lost cause. We're just trudging through this cold, dark forest with no benefit!"

Fili shook his head stubbornly. "There will be something, Kee, I know it," he declared. "I vow that I'm going to go home with a deer's beautiful antlers in my hands!"

"This is ridiculous!" Kili exclaimed, halting in his plodding. "It's cold, I'm hungry, and you know that you're not going to see a deer too! You just don't want to admit it because it makes you feel foolish!"

Angrily, Fili whipped around. "Kili, don't—" he warned.

"You know it's true, brother!" Kili spat back, furious that his brother was being so stupidly stubborn about this matter. He knew that Thorin wouldn't see their actions as honourable or righteous enough to take them to the Quest — in fact, it would be quite the opposite! Thorin would think that they were both too childish to bring along to the Quest, and so they would remain at home wallowing in shame, and it would all be Fili's fault.

Fili stalked towards him. "C'mon, Kili, we're almost there."

"Almost where?" Kili cried, baffled. "Fili, there's nothing! Stop trying to be a hero that we both know you aren't!"

Slap!

Kili's head snapped to the side, warm pain blooming in his cheek. Stumbling back and staring, open-mouthed in shock, he gasped, "Y-You slapped me."

Fili seemed aghast as well, looking down at his hand, back at Kili, and then back at his hand. "K-Kee," he stammered. "Little brother—"

"S-Stop." Kili stepped back, tears stinging in his eyes. "Don't come near me."

Fili was visibly distressed. "Kili," he tried again.

"Stop!" Kili exclaimed again, and when he took his hand off of his cheek, Fili could clearly see that there was a red mark that was sure to linger for a long amount of time.

"I'm sorry."

"Please," Kili said weakly. "Let's just head back home. Please?"

Fili nodded wordlessly, and the two brothers began to trudge back home, shame and dejection practically wafting from the both of them.

Kili had been right. When they arrived home, Thorin was outside, arms crossed, legs shoulder width apart, and looking extremely worried. When he caught sight of his two wayward nephews, he immediately rushed towards them and embraced them. When Thorin pulled away, it was clear that concern had changed to anger.

"Where in the name of Middle Earth have the two of you been?" he cried. "Lord, you're shivering! Go on, inside!" He ushered the two quivering dwarves indoors, closing the door. "Sit," he ordered, and then bustled off to make warm broth.

The weather had become even colder as night dawned upon them. Kili and Fili's clothes had scarcely protected them from the cold night winds.

When the warm broth was prepared, Thorin immediately handed it over to his nephews. Kili and Fili had changed out of their clothes into warmer ones. The cold had been biting at their skin all day and they were both starving.

Kili began to spoon the broth into his mouth, letting out a small sound of appreciation as the warmth washed over his entire body. "Mmmm. Thank you for the broth, Uncle Thorin," he murmured, glancing up a bit timidly up. He knew his Uncle was upset about what had happened — hell, he was too! He just hoped it hadn't cost him and Fili the chance to tag along on the Quest. He jumped when he felt a hand brush his cheek — the cheek that Fili had struck.

"What's this?" Thorin said softly.

Kili saw Fili stop eating out of the corner of his eye. Biting his lip, he lowered his eyes and murmured, "It's nothing, Uncle."

"It's definitely not nothing," Thorin reprimanded gently. "You're going to bruise."

"It's okay," Kili insisted, trying to pull back. "It's really nothing."

"It shall be discussed along with other things," Thorin told him, letting his hand drop.

Kili nodded, an ominous shiver running up his spine. He was already dreading the spanking that was sure to occur.

Sure enough, when both Fili and Kili had finished their bowls of broth and had stopped shivering, they were all silent. Then, Thorin cleared his throat and Fili and Kili stiffened immediately, bracing themselves. "To the living room, little dwarflings," their Uncle directed.

Kili hurried to the living room, hearing Fili trudge behind him. Shaking his head, he knew that Thorin would have a handful to deal with this time — Fili was in one of his stubborn moods.

When they stopped, Fili and Kili standing in front of Thorin, the lecture commenced. "I do not understand why we always find ourselves in this position, little dwarflings!" Thorin had his arms crossed — never a good sign. "Are my punishments not enough to teach you a lesson? Is a spanking merely just a little thing nothing to worry about now, hm? Speak!"

"Noooo, it's not that, Uncle Thorin," Kili pouted. "I promise it's not that, Uncle."

"Oh? Then tell me. What is it?" Thorin raised an eyebrow. "Every time after a spanking, you and Fili assure me that you won't get into trouble again. Is that a lie?"

"Nay, Uncle!" Kili and Fili both chorused defensively.

When Thorin's other eyebrow joined the other high up on his forehead, Fili hastened to explain. "We just ... end up in trouble, Uncle. We really don't mean to, though."

"Is that the way you see it, my wild little pup?" Thorin interrogated with an expressionless face.

"Er..." Fili glanced at his brother, who was staring determinedly at the ground.

"The way I see it is that the two of you are undermining my authority." Thorin sounded unimpressed — and rightfully so. "All I see is two little dwarves being extremely reckless."

"But Uncle—" Fili protested.

"Hand me your sword, Fili. And your bow and arrow, Kili."

"Uncle?" The two dwarves stared at their Uncle. Surely, Thorin wouldn't ...

"Well?" Thorin placed his hands on his hips. "Now! I'm waiting!"

Fili scrambled to unstrap his sword and fumbled with it, seeing Kili do the same. Reluctantly, he handed the sword over to Thorin slowly, unsure of what was about to happen.

Thorin took the weapons from them, and walked over, placing them in a cabinet and locking it.

"Uncle!" Fili and Kili cried out, realizing what was happening.

"If you two cannot be trusted to be responsible with your weapons that have been gifted to you, you shall not have them at all," Thorin stated firmly.

"Uncle, that is absolutely unfair!" Fili protested, upset. "All I wanted was to prove to you that—"

"Fili, all that has been proven to me is that I should consider the two of you far too careless and reckless that I should not even take you with me on the Quest!"

Chaos broke out, Fili and Kili both begging their Uncle to rethink his decision.

"No, Uncle Thorin, please!"

"We're sorry!"

"We didn't mean to!"

"It was just a little mistake!"

"A little mistake that could have ended with two dead dwarves!" Thorin snapped back sharply. "I have had enough with your excuses and pleas." He strode over to his chair and snapped his fingers. "Kili, here, now!"

With a sob, the dark-haired dwarf stumbled over to Thorin, whimpering when Thorin yanked his trousers down and pulled him over his lap. "Fili, you will sit there—" Thorin pointed to an armchair —"watch, and wait until it is your turn." Then, he turned his attention to Kili.

Kili whimpered again when Thorin placed a large hand on his bottom, squirming and trying to brace himself for what would happen next.

"Do you understand why you're in this position, Kili?"

"Yes, Uncle," Kili whispered, voice cracking at the end. He wasn't going to fight on this topic. He knew that it had been a stupid idea from the beginning and that he should have never gone along with Fili on this plan. But, really, it wasn't like he could just let his brother go alone!

"Kili."

"Y-Yes, Uncle?" Kili stammered, realizing that he had been lost too deep in his thoughts to hear what Thorin had been saying — a lecture, probably.

"Did you hear what I said?"

"No, Uncle." Kili hung his head. This was just getting worse and worse! He and Fili both knew how Thorin felt about drifting off during a spanking. "I'm sorry, Uncle," Kili said hurriedly before Thorin could say anything. "I didn't mean to not pay attention or—AHHHHHHHH!" He let out a loud wail when Thorin landed half a dozen hard smacks. "Uncleeeee!"

"Now do I have your attention, Kili?"

"Y-Yes!" Kili cried out, squirming. "I-I'm s-sor—OW! Uncle!" he shrieked, frustrated.

"Yes, Kili?"

"I … I cannot ap-apol'gize if you k-keep spanking—OW—me w-while I try to!" Kili kicked his legs as if trying to chase the stinging sensation away. He heard his Uncle give a quiet chuckle, chest rumbling, as he paused and rubbed Kili's burning bottom.

Kili hung his head even lower, letting out a low moan. "U-Uncle … I-I'm sorry!" He couldn't believe that his spanking had barely started and he was already feeling the back of his eyes sting with unshed tears! Thorin had such a hard hand!

"I know you are, little cub." Thorin's voice was gentle. "But it doesn't excuse your actions, does it?"

"Noooooo."

"Would you like to explain why you did what you did?"

"N-Not really, but—OW! YES! Yes, Uncle, I'd like to explain!" Kili wailed, trying to twist away from Thorin's hard hand.

"That's what I thought. No more of that cheek, little cub."

"S-Sorrryy." Kili wiped his eyes with an arm, angry at himself for already crying. He probably seemed so weak. It was practically decided that he wouldn't be allowed to join Thorin and the company on the Quest! He was too stupid, too weak, too— "OWWWWWW!"

"Kili."

"SORRY! SORRY!" Kili let out a small sob. "I-I … I did w-what I did because I wanted to prove to you that I was brave enough to go on the Quest with you."

"Is that so?"

"Mhmmmm." Kili sniffled.

The sharp intake of breath from Fili, who was sitting ramrod straight as he watched, was enough for Thorin to know the truth.

"Are you lying to me, Kili?"

"Nayyyy, Uncle," Kili whimpered. "N-Not really."

"Oh? Not really?" Thorin let his hand come down on Kili's bottom again, making the dark-haired dwarf wail and kick. "There is quite a difference between 'no' and 'not really,' little cub. So what is it? No, or not really?"

"Not reallllyyyy."

"Hmph." Thorin made an unimpressed sound, lifting his knee and spanking Kili on the smooth undercurve of his bottom. "Lying, Kili?"

"AHHHH!"

"Do I ever condone lying?"

"OWWWWWW!"

"Well? I'm waiting for an answer!"

"I-I can give you an answer i-if you stop spankinggggg!" Kili sobbed.

"No, I don't think that'll do." Thorin continued to spank. "After all, naughty little dwarflings who lie should be properly taught a lesson. Never. Lie. Do. You. Understand."

"YESSSS!" Kili collapsed, going limp. "S-Sorry! Sorry! 'M sorry!"

"Good." Thorin paused, rubbing Kili's rosy bottom, making him cry harder. "Kili, come. Tell me the truth. Why did you do what you did?" He glanced up at Fili, who was looking incredibly guilty, eyes fixated on his sobbing brother.

"I dunnoooo." Kili continued to cry, shoulders shaking. "Really, Uncle. I-I dunnoooo."

"Do you need some help?" Thorin asked gently, knowing that Kili wasn't trying to be a brat.

"Y-Yes, pleaseee."

"Such good manners," Thorin soothed. "I think that you did what you did today because you knew I would find out, and you knew that if only Fili acted foolishly, you wouldn't get the attention that you so desperately need from me. Isn't that right?"

"Noooo—OWWWW! Y-Yes, maybeeee," Kili wept.

"Because you need to know that I care about you, isn't that right, little cub?" Thorin's voice was gentle. "You need to be told that no matter what happens on the Quest, before the Quest, or after the Quest, I'm still going to continue to love you."

"Ayeeee, Uncle Tho'rn," Kili whimpered. "W-What if … what if we go to E-Erebor and y-you d-don't love me and Fee no more? O-O-Or what if y-you like Fee more because h-he's your first h-heir? W-What if you f-forget about—AHHHHHH!"

"Take heed of what I am about to say, Kili," Thorin said sternly, continuing to land firm smacks down. "No matter what happens, I'm going to always love both you and Fili equally. No matter what. I will always you. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Sir!" Kili hiccuped. "I unnerstand."

"Good. So, now, tell me — why did you do what you did today?"

"B-Because I needed to k-know that you love me and w-would always love me!" Kili wailed. "I unnerstand, Uncle, I promise!"

"Very good." Thorin didn't cease spanking, much to Kili dismay. "One more thing to discuss, little cub — what is that mark on your face? What happened?"

"N-Nuffin'—OWW!"

"Think wisely before lying again, Kili," Thorin advised sternly.

"F-Fee hit me!" Kili sobbed, looking pained as he forced the words out.

"Did he, now?" Thorin shot a look at Fili, who flinched and looked down, chewing his lips. "Very well, Kili. Do you understand why I'm spanking you?"

"Y-Yesssss!" Kili was limp over Thorin's lap, no longer having the energy to squirm anymore. "I unnerstand."

"Alright, little cub." Thorin stopped spanking, gently rubbing Kili's red bottom. "We're all finished, then. You did very well. I'm proud of you and I love you."

"T-Thank youuu," Kili hiccuped.

"C'mere." Thorin drew Kili up, cuddling him and holding him tightly in his embrace. When Kili's weeping died down to the occasional sniffle, Thorin drew back and said, "Go on, little cub. Sit or lie down. It's Fili's turn."

Kili obediently stumbled to the couch, lying down on his side and watched Thorin firmly yank Fili to his feet before dragging him to the chair.

Without speaking, Thorin began spanking immediately the moment Fili's breeches were off, making the light-haired dwarf gasp loudly.

"You have no idea how much trouble you are in, little pup," Thorin growled. "Sneaking out. Putting yourself and your brother in danger. Doing something foolish and risky. And on top of that, hitting your brother?" Thorin shook his head. "I am very disappointed in you, Fili. I really am."

Thorin saw Fili inhale shakily and he knew that the last part had gotten to the younger dwarf. Fili hated disappointing others. When Thorin spoke those words, he knew he had messed up badly.

"Uncle," Fili muttered, trying to keep his voice steady. "I can explain—"

"Oh, you very well will explain!" Thorin barked, cutting his nephew off. "In fact, you'd better have an acceptable explanation for what you did today, little dwarfling!"

"I-I …" Fili struggled to speak under the relentless spanks raining down on his bottom. "I just wanted to s-show you—"

"That you were too reckless, too young, too foolish to join the Company for the Quest?"

"I-I—" Fili exhaled shakily. "Nay, Uncle. That wasn't my intent."

"Whether it was your intent or not, that's how it seemed to me. You have proven that I need to reconsider taking you and your brother along with others on the Quest. I cannot have any rash behaviour from anyone on the Quest."

Fili didn't say anything, just letting out a small whimper when the burning in his bottom grew. Eventually, the light-haired dwarf gasped out, "I just wanted to s-show you that I could be brave!"

"Fili." Thorin's voice grew softer at the confession. "I already know that you're brave. You're incredibly courageous and I'm proud to have you as my nephew. But what you did today wasn't brave. It was impulsive and unacceptable."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sure you are." Thorin continued to spank, wincing at the bright red colour of Fili's bottom — they weren't even done yet!

"I really am, Uncle," Fili whispered, voice soft and defeated. "I didn't realize how stupid I was being. I'm sorry."

"Thank you, Fili." Thorin sighed. He hated having to discipline his nephews, but it had to be done. "Do you have anything to say about hitting Kili?"

"No," Fili whispered. "Sorry."

"It was unacceptable."

"Aye, Uncle."

Thorin frowned down at his nephew. Fili was being unusually compliant. "Tell me what's going on in that head of yours, Fili," he prompted, finally slowing down his spanks.

"I just … I'm sorry." Fili sniffled. "I don't know if you believe me, Uncle. I'm really, really sorry, but—"

"Of course I believe you, my wild little pup," Thorin interrupted gently. "I know you're sorry."

"A-And I let my anger control me and I hit Kee and I shouldn't have." Fili let out a small sob. "Please, Uncle, I'm so sorry!"

"I know," Thorin soothed. "I know you are." He stopped spanking, gently rubbing Fili's dark red bottom. "You're forgiven, little one. All okay, now."

Fili let out a small whimper before beginning to sob at Thorin's words. Thorin smiled sadly as he rubbed Fili's back. He knew that Fili hated disappointing him. It had surely affected the light-haired dwarf quite strongly when Thorin had spoken those words.

"Ohhhh, Uncle Thor'n, I'm so, so, so sorryyyyy," Fili wept, burying his face in his arms. "I'm so sorry!"

"Shhhh," Thorin hushed, drawing him up and rubbing his back. "It's all okay now. Everything is okay, little pup." He held Fili while the younger dwarf cried in his arms. Thorin spread an arm, beckoning Kili forward and drawing him close as well. "I love you both very much."

"So do we, Uncle," Kili said softly. "And it's okay, Fee." He reached out and brushed his brother's hair with his hand soothingly.

Thorin was content to sit there with his two nephews cuddled on his lap, stroking their hair. He was wondering if Fili had fallen asleep when the younger dwarf suddenly sniffled, "Please tell us a story, Uncle."

"A story?" Thorin echoed.

"Uh-huhhh." Fili rubbed his eyes. "Of when you were younger and got into trouble."

Thorin chuckled, memories popping into his head. "Alright," he relented, knowing it would put a smile on both his nephews' faces. "I was a wee dwarfling when this happened. I had promised a friend of mine to play a game with him, but to our dismay, when we opened our eyes the next morning, the weather was quite horrible outside. It was so bad to the point where we were banned from going outside.

"But of course, we were both stubborn dwarflings — what dwarfling isn't?" Thorin let out a small chuckle. "So we formed a plan to sneak out. I would go down and unlock the door while my friend temporarily distracted others watching. Then, we would both sneak out." Thorin paused when Kili let out a small giggle. "What are you laughing at?"

"That's a horrible plan, Uncle," Kili grinned.

Thorin threw his head back, laughing. "Well, we weren't the brightest dwarflings." Shaking his head, amused, he continued. "Of course, things didn't go as planned. My friend distracted the others successfully with some singing and dancing, but the moment I unlocked the door and pushed it open a wee bit, the door flung open with a bang. We didn't realize that the winds were the strongest they'd ever been that day — of course the door would swing open like that.

"My father immediately rushed forward, swept me out of the way, and slammed the door shut. Needless to say, I was taken upstairs by my father, given a thorough lecture on following the rules and not behaving impulsively, and given a good, hard tanning." Thorin shook his head, a fond smile on his lips. "Really, I don't know how we ever thought it would work."

Thorin waited, but when there was no response, he frowned and looked down at the two younger dwarflings on his lap. He let out a low chuckle when he found both Fili and Kili asleep, tear stains on their flushed cheeks, and shook his head fondly.

He loved these two so much.