don't look at me. it started out as parody but i don't know what happened

i don't know what the pairings are either

why are there so many japanese sounding names in forks? idk too

Tsunayoshi Sawada was moving to Forks to live with his older cousin, Ieyasu Sawada. Or Giotto Sawada, as he was calling himself now. His father, Iemitsu Sawada, had a job that required him to travel the world and didn't want to affect Tsuna's life with the constant moving, but also did not want to leave his wife behind (again), and hence decided to dump him with Giotto.

Notably, no one asked his opinion on the matter.

Tsuna soon found out that this was a very obvious foreshadowing on his life from then on.

Forks was pretty rainy. Tsuna didn't really mind, actually. It wasn't as if he was the type to go out often, so a little rain wouldn't change his schedule that much.

It was a four hour flight from Phoenix, where he used to live, to Seattle. After which, there would be an hour flight to Port Angeles, and then another hour of travel in a car to Forks. He spent the three hours on the plane thinking of conversation topics he could use with Giotto. He hadn't seen the man in quite a few years, so things were bound to be awkward. After an hour past with absolutely no progress, he decided to give up and call it a lost cause. Whatever, his cousin was a good enough conversationalist so keep the awkward at bay, anyway.

When Tsuna finally arrived at Port Angeles, it was raining. He didn't think too much about it because he didn't care at all.

Giotto was waiting for Tsuna with a police cruiser. Now was probably a good time to reveal that Giotto was a Police Chief. Tsuna wasn't very surprised when he heard the news; the signs of Giotto's hero-complex personality had always been there from the beginning. Now, at least he got paid while he was 'doing the right thing', as he put it. Tsuna remembered what Giotto had told him when he became a police.

"This town shines like the sun!" Giotto – then Ieyasu – had proclaimed. Tsuna stared out at the literal buckets of freezing rain pouring down outside the house.

What sun?

Tsuna didn't understand him back then. Hell, he still didn't, but he wasn't going to make the mistake of trying to follow his cousin's complicatedly simplistic thought process ever again.

Giotto greeted Tsuna with a large, suffocating hug when Tsuna got off the plane, stumbling a bit due to the numbness in his left foot. Tsuna weakly hit him in the chest until he could breathe again.

"Great to see you again, Tsuna!" he grinned. "You haven't changed much!"

"Neither have you," Tsuna replied, taking in Giotto's appearance. He looked exactly the same as he had when Tsuna had first met him ten years ago, which was really weird. "Oh, it's nice to see you too."

The younger brunet allowed himself to be dragged to the car by the overly-excited blond. Was it just him, or did Giotto get stronger? Was it even possible?

"So, Tsuna! I was thinking of getting you a car!" Giotto exclaimed. Tsuna immediately stopped in his tracks, causing him to fall over as Giotto was still pulling him along.

"Giotto. I don't even have a license," Tsuna stated flatly. Giotto stared at him for a while. And shrugged.

"Then let's get you one!"

"But I don't even want one!" Tsuna was already clumsy on his own two feet, and now Giotto expected him to control a giant metal deathtrap with a circle and foot buttons? Tsuna refused to do so.

By sundown, Giotto bought Tsuna a car to celebrate the latter's new driving license.

Giotto was the only one who was excited about it.

School was pretty swell. The people here were nicer than the ones back where Tsuna was from, but that was probably because they weren't around when he was Useless-Tsuna. Impressions were pretty hard to forget, after all.

Jessica – a nice girl he had met in Trigonometry – had invited him to sit with her during lunch. Tsuna didn't turn down the offer, seeing as that would be rude. He tried his best to remember everyone's names as Jessica introduced them. And it was there, as he was quietly eating his lunch while people made conversation, that he first caught a glimpse of them.

They were sitting at the very corner of the cafeteria, not talking, not eating, just sitting. They weren't even facing one another. Tsuna found it awfully strange, but didn't bother taking a second look. It didn't concern him, after all, and if he was taking a class with one of them, he could always get to know them then.

"I see that you're interested in the Vongolas," Jessica spoke up from beside Tsuna. He blinked and looked at her.

"No, not really," he answered honestly. The girl waved her hand dismissively, not taking in a word of what he said.

"It's not a surprise. They're really eye-catching I suppose. Let me introduce them to you!" Tsuna bit back a sigh as he turned to face the five males – Vongolas? – so that he could understand what Jessica was talking about.

"The one with the fedora is Reborn. Beside him, the one with the black spiky hair, is Takeshi Yamamoto. The guy wearing the cow print shirt is Lambo Bovino, and the last black haired guy is called Kyoya Hibari. One only one with silver hair is Hayato Gokudera." Unlike with Jessica's friends, Tsuna didn't really bother remembering the names of those people. As he said before, if he was taking a class with them, he could always remember their names and faces then.

"That's cool," Tsuna answered without any real excitement, already wanting to go back to eating his food.

"They Ryohei Sasagawa – another Vongola – graduated school a while ago and is currently working in the hospital. They don't have parents, or at least, we've never seen their parents before. Almost everything gets handled by Reborn, apparently."

"That's nice." Another noncommittal answer. Tsuna was hoping that Jessica would get the hint that he honestly wasn't interested in the Vongolas at all. She didn't.

Tsuna spent the rest of his lunch learning about the Vongolas.

His entire Biology lesson was spent trying to see how far away from his table partner he could be without actually leaving the table. As fate would have it, his table partner was a Vongola. A terrifying Vongola with pitch black eyes and a terrifyingly intense stare. When he entered the classroom, he had wondered why the teacher allowed the Vongola to keep his fedora on even though Tsuna was pretty sure headwear was against the school dress code. Now he knew.

Tsuna basically counted down the seconds until the class ended and he could finally leave.

"Is it alright for me to switch biology classes?" Tsuna asked the lady at the counter after handing her his slip. "Any class is fine, really."

"I'm sorry, Sawada, but all the other classes are full. Could you hold on a bit more until the end of the term? I'm sure there'll be space by then."

"But–" Tsuna abruptly cut himself off when he realized that the scary Vongola with the fedora was standing behind him. He slowly turned around and received the intense stare at full blast. He shuddered and turned back to the lady. "It's alright. I can see that's not possible. Thanks, goodbye!" he squeaked and quickly left the office as fast as he could.

It started snowing the next day. Tsuna wasn't very happy about the added slipperiness to the floor, but he could live. What he couldn't live with, was the fact that the scary Vongola was still staring at him. Hopefully, Tsuna was able to get through Biology alive. Well, either that or he could skip, but he didn't really want to make it obvious that he was avoiding the scary Vongola.

When he walked into the classroom, he could almost weep tears of relief when he realized that his table was still empty. Since there was quite some time before the class began, Tsuna decided to take a little nap.

He jerked awake when he felt, more than heard, someone sit next to him. Slowly, warily, he lifted his head from his hands and glanced over at his table partner. A pair of obsidian black eyes stared down at him, and the male's lips were pulled up into a smirk of amusement. Tsuna tried not to shudder. He felt like a little rabbit getting cornered by the big bad wolf, seconds away from getting eaten.

"Hello," the Vongola greeted in a low baritone. "I didn't get a chance to introduce myself yesterday. I'm Reborn, and you must be Tsuna."

"How do you know my name?" Tsuna blurted out. Reborn's smirk got wider.

"Oh, everyone knows your name, Sawada Tsunayoshi. The whole town's been waiting for you to arrive," he, for a lack of better term, purred. Tsuna couldn't help but think it was a tad foreboding.

"I see," the brunet replied awkwardly. Thankfully, the teacher started class at that moment, saving Tsuna from having to say anything else. It was pair work that day, and Tsuna had to work with his lab partner: Reborn.

Fantastic.

"Let's get started, Tsuna," Reborn was still smirking next to him. Tsuna found it mildly annoying, but didn't have the courage to confront Reborn about it. Obediently, Tsuna slid the first slide under the microscope and stared at it for a long while.

"U-um, anaphase?" Tsuna's answer was phrased as a question as he pushed the microscope over to Reborn for the Vongola to check. Reborn glanced into his for less than a second and made a sound of displeasure.

"It's prophase, Tsuna," he corrected. Tsuna blushed and glanced down at the table.

"Oh."

Reborn switched the first slide with the second and glanced at it. "This is anaphase," he said. Tsuna slide the microscope towards him and peeked in, trying to memorize what he saw for future referencew. Reborn noticed what he was doing.

"What's wrong?" he asked, "Don't you trust my judgment?"

"N-no!" Tsuna stuttered, a bit embarrassed from getting caught. "I'm just not very good at this, and I trust your judgment so I, um…" He trailed off. Thankfully, it seemed that Reborn understood his message, as his obsidian eyes gleamed with amusement. Reborn passed the third slide over to Tsuna, and Tsuna clumsily switched the slides with slightly shaking hands. He looked into the microscope.

"Interphase? Probably," Tsuna muttered. Reborn took a look into the microscope as well.

"Yes, it is." Reborn smiled. Tsuna blushed again, feeling unreasonably happy. They went through the other few slides with Tsuna trying his best to identify them, and Reborn going through his answers, correcting him whenever necessary.

Reborn wrote down the answers on the worksheet, and the two were done with their pair work. An awkward silence descended down on them and Tsuna fidgeted.

"So, what brings you to Forks?" Reborn started the conversation. Tsuna shrugged.

"Wasn't really my decision, but I'm not really complaining."

"Why. You like it here?"

"Don't like it, but don't hate it," Tsuna replied noncommittally. It was true; he had only been here for a few days, definitely not enough time to form an actual impression of the place.

Reborn opened his mouth to answer, but the teacher called the class to attention, cutting the conversation short. Tsuna's conversation with Reborn was shoved to the back of his head in favour of paying attention to the lesson. When the bell rang, the conversation was already a dull, fading memory as Tsuna's brain was frantically processing the information the teacher had unloaded into his brain. The brunet stood up from his seat.

"Um, goodbye, Reborn. I'll see you tomorrow?" he asked Reborn more out of politeness than an actual desire to see him again.

"Sure, why not?" Reborn responded readily, a smirk on his face. Tsuna pretended that the smirk didn't make him want to punch it off the Vongola's face.

Tsuna ran into a silver haired boy after school. He vaguely identified him as Hayato Gokudera, one of the Vongolas. Hayato was glaring at him, causing Tsuna to break out into a cold sweat.

"You should stay away from us," he hissed at Tsuna. The brunet shivered in fear.

"I-it's a bit hard to do so when Reborn's my lab partner…" Tsuna pointed out, only to squeak in fear when the boy's green eyes sharpened, making his glare even more ferocious. He didn't even know it was possible.

"There are no excuses. You better keep away from us, or you'll die." And with that ominous warning, Hayato stalked away.

Tsuna was beginning to calculate the effort needed to convince Giotto to allow him to move to Port Angeles and transfer schools.

It was snowing a lot more the next day. Tsuna was mildly horrified, considering that it had rained last night and hence there was a thin layer of ice coating the roads and pathways in Forks. He briefly considered wearing full bodied protective armor out but decided against it on the basis that people would find him strange.

He managed to get to school without many difficulties, although that could be due to the fact that he drove at a snail's pace and that Giotto had thoughtfully put snow chains on the wheels of his car. Tsuna made a mental note to do something nice for him soon.

He got out of his car and almost walked into Hayato. The silver haired boy was glaring at him again and Tsuna wondered what he had done. He was pretty sure that he kept to himself ever since the conversation with Hayato the previous day, and definitely did not come into any contact with the Vongolas whatsoever.

"I told you to stay away from us!"

"I did!" Tsuna cried. "I stayed at home the entire day yesterday! By myself! What else do you want me to do?" Tsuna wanted to cry. Hayato was bullying him, wasn't he? What did he do wrong to deserve such treatment from the boy?

"No, you met with Reborn last night!" Hayato accused. "He came back with your scent on him!"

"What do you mean?!"

An odd sound interrupted whatever Hayato was going to say and the both of them looked to the road. Tsuna's eyes widened when he saw a dark blue van skidding towards the both of them. Without thinking, he quickly turned back to Hayato and pushed him out of the way of the van. He took in the confused and horrified expression on Hayato's face with a strange feeling of detachment. Vaguely he realized that Hayato's body was hard and cold, quite unlike that of a human's.

Tsuna had just enough time to turn back to the van before it hit, but something strange happened. Instead of getting smashed by cold, hard metal, Tsuna found himself tugged violently backwards. He landed painfully on his butt as an arm shot out protectively in front of him, and the van shuddered to a stop mere inches from his face. Tsuna stared at the metal that had been dented by hand in front of him. He blinked and suddenly the hand was gone. If he didn't trust his intuition as much as he did, he might've dismissed it as a hallucination.

"Tsunayoshi, are you okay?!" Hayato's voice sounded from beside him. Tsuna turned to his side to see green eyes staring at him, full of concern and devoid of the icy loathing from before. Tsuna found himself more confused about Hayato's sudden mood change than the fact that Hayato stopped a skidding van with his bare hands.

"Yeah, I am." Tsuna realized he was way too calm about this. Definitely calmer than he should be, that's for sure. Somewhere in his mind, something registered that he had gone into psychological shock.

"I'm sorry for shouting at you, Tsunayoshi," Hayato apologized after a small period of silence. "I thought that you were someone out to harm us, but I was greatly mistaken! No one that bad could have sacrificed their life for another without a second thought!"

"Oh. I see." Tsuna felt detached from everything around him. This probably wasn't healthy.

The ambulance found us soon enough, and everything was a blur as the ambulance arrived and Tsuna was sent to the hospital. Things soon regained clarity a while after Tsuna was set down on a hospital bed. He slowly sat up and looked around. Hayato entered the room with Reborn and an unfamiliar man with white hair. The man was wearing a white coat, so Tsuna figured that he was the doctor.

"Um hi," Tsuna said awkwardly. Hayato's green eyes lit up when he saw Tsuna and quickly ran over to his side at a speed which, in Tsuna's opinion, didn't seem very human.

"Tsunayoshi, do you feel discomfort anywhere?" Hayato asked. Tsuna slowly shook his head, multiple thoughts racing through his mind at an alarming rate. Hayato didn't feel human when Tsuna touched him. He obviously had some inhuman strength, considering that he had easily stopped a van from squashing Tsuna. And now, the speed at which he moved was pretty unbelievable. Not to mention, he had warned Tsuna to leave the Vongolas alone under the threat of death. It meant that whatever Hayato was, the rest of the Vongola was as well.

His lab partner was not human. That hypothesis eerily made more sense than it should.

"Sawada! I heard that you tried to save Octopus head from a van! That was EXTREME behavior!" the doctor yelled. Tsuna stared at him. This person must be the Vongola that had already graduated from Forks High.

"Um, thank you?" He wasn't sure if he should take it as a compliment.

"Tsuna." Reborn was talking now. His obsidian eyes flashed with controlled anger. "What were you thinking?" The small brunet shifted guiltily.

"I wasn't thinking," he confessed, looking down at his lap. He heard Reborn scoff before leaving the room.

Tsuna thought back to his theory about the Vongolas. He couldn't accuse the Vongolas without any evidence. What would he say? "You guys are human because my intuition says you're not human and my intuition's always right." Hah, how about no. He needed to find out more about the Vongolas before confronting them. But did he want to? Curiosity killed the cat, didn't it? On one hand, he would most definitely be in contact with the Vongolas for an extended period of time, if you took Hayato's clingy behavior and Reborn being Tsuna's lab partner into account, and it would probably be better if he knew what he was getting into. On the other hand, find out more might be a Bad Idea, and he didn't exactly want to throw himself headfirst into something he wasn't even involved in.

He closed his eyes and sighed. Whatever, he'll figure out what to do tomorrow.

Giotto was fussing over him. It was understandable, considering that Tsuna almost died, so he resolved not to complain. He resolve faltered a little when he found out that Giotto told his dad about it.

Tsuna had to spend a whole two hours calming Iemitsu down and reassuring him that he was fine. As usual, Iemitsu had blown this totally out of proportion, exaggeratingly crying into the phone and wanting to fly down to Forks in order to seal him away from the world and protect him from harm.

Of course, also as usual, Iemitsu didn't tell Nana anything, not wanting to worry her.

"Mum, how do you deal with this?"

"Deal with what, Tsu-kun?"

"Deal with people not telling you anything. Deal with people not listening to you."

"Oh, that. I faced the same problem at your age. You just have to not bother about them, really. Do what you want; live a life without regrets. If other people aren't going to listen to you…

Why should you listen to other people?"

Tsuna met Enma Kozato during his trip to La Push. Jessica's group of friends, which now included him, decided to organize a group outing to the nicest beach in the area. The group was sitting in a circle around a piece of driftwood that one of the boys had sat aflame. Tsuna made sure to sit as far away from it as possible. Sure, blue fire was pretty and all, but he wasn't taking any chances with his clumsiness. Half an hour passed before Tsuna realized that the person sitting next to him was continuously glancing at him. Tsuna turned to see messy red hair framing a face with many bandages, and brilliant red eyes with strange pupils. The boy was caught staring at Tsuna and immediately dropped his gaze to the floor, blushing. Tsuna stared at him. He seemed pretty familiar, but from where?

And then, it hit him.

"Say, are you related to Cozarto Shimon?" he asked. Cozarto was Giotto's best friend, and the two often hung out with one another. The boy blinked and snapped his gaze back to Tsuna.

"Yeah, I'm his cousin. Are you related to Giotto Sawada?"

"Yes, I'm his cousin." The two of them stared at one another for a while longer before they broke into giggles for absolutely no reason.

It was the start of a beautiful friendship.

"Oh!" Jessica suddenly exclaimed, as though she just remembered something. "Did you invite the Vongolas, Tsuna?"

"Um, no?" Tsuna replied, a bit confused. Jessica looked slightly disappointed.

"We thought you would, considering that you're pretty friendly with them," she said. Tsuna shrugged, but otherwise didn't say anything. To be honest, inviting the Vongolas didn't even cross his mind. They were distant acquaintances to him at most. Well, maybe Hayato was more of a 'very persistent stalker', but even he kept his distance.

"The Vongola?" Enma's voice was suddenly quiet and controlled. Tsuna's intuition sounded warning bells in his head and he hesitantly turned to look at Enma. The boy's red eyes were dark and cold. Unreadable. This new Enma was intimidating, very unlike the Enma he was talking to mere moments ago. For a brief second, Tsuna was scared, but he pushed that fear away. This was Enma, Cozarto Shimon's cousin, and someone his intuition said he could trust. So, he took a deep breath to calm himself.

"Mmm, yeah. One of them – Reborn – is my table partner, so he's basically forced into paying attention to me. Another saved me from getting squashed by a van, so I guess that counts for something," Tsuna spoke with forced nonchalance.

"I see." Enma closed his eyes for a while. When he reopened them, Tsuna could almost swear that they were glowing. "Be careful of the Vongola, Tsuna. They aren't who you think they are."

"Alright, I promise." I already knew that, anyway.

"Tsunayoshi!" Hayato was waving to Tsuna from across the cafeteria. Everyone was staring at the two of them, and Tsuna wanted to go hide himself in a hole somewhere. Mike, one of Jessica's friends, nudged Tsuna when the latter showed no signs of acknowledgment.

"Hey Tsuna," he whispered. "The Vongolas are staring at you."

"I know," Tsuna whispered back. "I'm trying to ignore them."

"Trying to ignore who?" Tsuna stiffened up and slowly turned around to see obsidian eyes gleaming down at Tsuna with silent laughter.

"No one," Tsuna squeaked. Reborn rolled his eyes and put his hands on either side of Tsuna's shoulders, steering him towards the table of Vongolas. Tsuna glanced back to ask Mike for help, but Mike merely looked at him pityingly. Tsuna was on his own for this.

"Why don't you sit with us, Tsuna?" Although Reborn phrased it as a question, Tsuna knew that it was a command. One that he was too cowardly to go against. Hence, he remained silent and pliant as he was led to, what he was quite certain was, the start of his doom.

"I hate crowding. If you become too irritating, I'll bite you to death." That was the first thing he heard after sitting down at the table.

Good start.

"How dare you talk to Tsunayoshi like that, you bastard?!" Hayato yelled. Tsuna flinched at the loud sound and tried to calm Hayato down.

"Um, Hayato, it's fine really. I don't take any offence." That was a lie, but Hayato didn't need to know that. "And I'd rather you call be Tsuna, please."

"Okay Tsuna!" Hayato chirped a bit too happily.

"How did you do that?" the black haired boy with brown eyes leaned over the table to whisper loudly at Tsuna. "It's hard enough to get him to smile!" He gets hit over the head by the very person he was talking about, but was unrepentant. "By the way, my name's Takeshi!"

"H-hello…" Takeshi was a nice, cheerful person, no doubt about that. However, there was an underlying current of dangerousness to him that set Tsuna on edge. Natural born hunter, something in his mind whispered. He tried to ignore it.

"Yo, I'm Lambo." Someone plopped down in the chair beside him and lazily rested his upper body on the table. "You must be the Tsuna I've seen so much about." Tsuna blinked at the weird phrasing Lambo used, but decided not to show that he caught it, instead filing it away for further scrutiny later on.

"Yeah, that'd be me," Tsuna confirmed with an awkward smile. He hoped that lunch break would end soon, so that he could leave the table and its awkward conversations.

"It seems that your friends are angry at us for taking you away, Tsuna," Takeshi observed. Tsuna gave a forced smile.

"They'll survive." And hopefully I will too.

"We might not give you back, though," Reborn grinned, a wicked gleam in his eyes. Tsuna gulped and stared down at his lap. As such, he missed the annoyed look Kyoya sent to Reborn.

"I hate crowding," Kyoya hissed. "If you keep him here, I'll bite all of you to death." And with that, Kyoya abruptly stood up and stalked off. The silence he left behind was heavy. Tsuna tried to break it.

"Does he say that often? It's almost as if he's a vampire or something!" Tsuna joked. The fact that everyone else at the table stiffened up at the word 'vampire' didn't escape his notice. He decided to take a leaf out of his mother's book and put on a vacant smile. "Ah, but that's impossible 'cause vampires don't exist. It'll be cool though."

"Yeah, wouldn't that be cool?" Lambo laughed shakily. Tsuna nodded and forced out a laugh as well.

Shit.

Port Angeles was a nice city. Bigger than Forks, and with a larger range of products and services too. The latest Pokémon game had come out and he had to go to Port Angeles to buy it. Of course, he went by himself as the group of friends he was with were pretending that they were too cool to play Pokémon, Giotto had work, and he'd rather hurl himself off a cliff than approach any of the Vongolas. He would've asked Enma to accompany him, though, if he had the red head's number. Too bad he didn't.

Oh well, what could go wrong?

It turned out that a lot of things could go wrong. Giotto was right when he said that Tsuna should have stayed clear of narrow alleys and darkened roads, and stick in brightly lid, populated areas.

The current situation was as such: Tsuna was brisk walking down a deserted street, hoping that he could lose the two men who were following him. It was probably his face, he decided, that labelled him as a perfect victim for a mugging. Tsuna had a pretty young face that never really lost its childhood innocence. Of course, this meant that he seemed like an easy pick for any mugger on the street.

Tsuna turned the corner and stopped in his tracks. The corner led to a dead end and there, waiting, were two more men.

Tsuna knew he should've brought someone with him to Port Angeles.

And suddenly, a car basically flew around the corner and screeched to a stop. A figure wearing all black stepped out of the driver's seat, holding something equally black in his hands. Tsuna didn't want to know what it was.

Bang! One of the men fell to the ground. Tsuna, not registering that no blood had been spilt, shrieked. A hand covered his mouth from behind and he started thrashing.

"Shh, Tsuna! It's okay!" Tsuna recognized Takeshi's voice as the black haired teen herded him into the back seat of the car. Hayato was there waiting for him.

"Tsuna, are you alright?" he asked frantically, green eyes glowing with concern. Tsuna didn't answer, shaking like a leaf. Hayato's face immediately darkened. However, before he could do anything else, Takeshi restrained him with a look.

"Reborn would rather take care of them alone. You'll only ruin his concentration and cause him to mess up." Just as Takeshi said that, the door to the driver's side opened and Reborn slid in. The murderous aura he was emitting nearly caused Tsuna to pass out.

Reborn started the car and drove off. Everything was quiet until Tsuna broke the silence.

"W-was that even legal?" he whispered. Reborn gave a hard laugh.

"What they were going to do wasn't legal. Why would you care about what happened to them?" he shot back. Tsuna swallowed but pressed on.

"Still, they're people, and killing them is bad."

"Don't worry, Tsuna. Reborn didn't kill them," Takeshi cut in before Reborn could make Tsuna misunderstand the situation even more.

"But… the gun?"

"Special bullet." This time it was Hayato that answered. "We didn't want to draw blood."

"Is it because you're vampires?" The question was blurted out before Tsuna could control himself. The car immediately jerked to a stop and all three Vongolas in the car turned to stare at him. Tsuna clasped his hands over his mouth but the damage was already done.

Reborn turned back to the front and the car started moving again. "We're going to talk about this, Tsuna."

Tsuna whimpered.

The talk went by well, although it was incredibly awkward. Tsuna found himself sitting at a large table with the rest of the Vongolas, sans Ryohei who was working the night shift in the hospital, with Reborn on his left and Hayato on his right. He was then quizzed, threatened, and pleaded with to not tell anyone that they were vampires. When they were one hundred percent sure that Tsuna wasn't going to blab to anyone, they relaxed and Kyoya walked out of the room.

"So, don't you have any questions?" Lambo asked. Tsuna shook his head and the boy pouted. "Man, I'd think that you would be a lot more curious than this. But whatever. When did you first think that we weren't human?" Lambo leaned towards Tsuna, green eyes glittering with curiosity.

From the first time I came into contact with Reborn. Tsuna thought.

"Probably when Hayato stopped the van from crushing me," he said instead. Hayato's eyes widened.

"You saw that?" he asked. Tsuna nodded slowly.

"It was a bit hard to miss."

"Then why didn't you say anything?" Tsuna shrugged, unable to answer that question.

"Tsuna, did you know that some vampires have special powers?" Takeshi cut in. "People theorize that the strongest traits we had as humans get amplified when we turn into vampires. Like I have really good reflexes, Hayato can make anything explode, Ryohei can heal almost anyone, Reborn can read minds–"

"Reborn can read minds?!" Tsuna shrieked, eyes immediately snapping to Reborn in horror. The man in question sighed.

"Yeah, I can. But I can't read yours for some reason." He didn't sound very pleased by that fact. Tsuna relaxed.

"Oh, I see. Was that why you kept staring at me in class?"

"Yes. I don't like not knowing things." Takeshi laughed at that.

"Well, that's Reborn for you!" he grinned. Tsuna nodded slowly before turning to Lambo.

"Lambo, what's your power?" he asked. Lambo puffed up with pride.

"I can see into the future! But only ten years into the future and for five minutes."

"I… see…" Tsuna didn't find it really practical, but he guessed that it had its merits. "So, I'll probably be staying near you guys from now on, huh?" he sighed.

"Yup."

At this point, Tsuna was no longer surprised that he didn't have a choice in the matter.

He wondered how he ever got talked into this. It was probably Takeshi; the guy seemed to love baseball with all his heart and soul, and Tsuna really couldn't let down such a hopeful face. At least he wasn't required to play, though. The thought made him want to laugh. Hah. Him, play baseball with vampires. What a joke.

Nearly everyone in the Vongola was there, even Ryohei. Tsuna's second meeting with Ryohei was very… extreme, for a lack of better terms. He's rather not think about it.

The only one not participating was Kyoya, but Lambo had told him that Kyoya rarely ever participated in anything that required him to 'crowd'. Tsuna never really understood what Kyoya meant by that, and he wasn't in any hurry to do so.

Everything was going on quite well, and Tsuna found himself almost enjoying himself, watching the Vongola blurs move through the forest clearing. He had absolutely no idea what was happening, but the scene was still rather entertaining. And, of course, something went wrong. Something always went wrong.

It started with Kyoya suddenly appearing in the clearing, or at least it seemed that way to Tsuna, face black with murderous rage. The game paused and Reborn suddenly crushed the baseball bat in his hands. Tsuna flinched in fear. Whatever the news Kyoya had brought, it clearly wasn't nice. In a flash, Hayato was at Tsuna's side, herding him towards one side of the field while his green eyes were fixed on the trees at the other side. The rest of the Vongola positioned themselves in front of Tsuna as well, seemingly casual but Tsuna knew better. Something was coming.

It could have been a second later, it could have been hours, when five figures emerged from the trees. The one at the front was tall with spiky black hair and dull eyes and, from his position in the group, he was undeniably the leader. Behind him was a woman with short red hair and a man with incredible messy blond hair and a scar across his nose. At the back, a tall, lanky man wearing a white beanie and glasses stood beside an indigo haired teen with a strange haircut. The one at the front walked towards Ryohei and Reborn, face blank. Tsuna felt that something was wrong, and shifted uneasily.

"We thought we heard a game, and Ken got a little excited," he said and gestured to the blond haired man behind him. "I'm Lancia, and that's M.M. The one with the beanie is Chikusa and the last one's Mukuro. May we join in the game?"

Ryohei gave a strained, apologetic smile. "Sorry, we're just finishing up. We'll be organizing another extreme game soon, so maybe you could join us then," he said. It didn't sound very sincere.

"That's too bad," Lancia replied. He didn't sound too disappointed. In fact, he didn't really sound like he had any emotions whatsoever. "We're not staying here for very long; in fact, we're heading further north tonight."

"I see, well that's a shame." Tsuna had to give it to Takeshi. If it weren't for his unnatural stiffness, Tsuna would've bought his lie.

The group of five started to move away when, all of a sudden, there was a light breeze and their eyes immediately fixed onto the human. Ken lurched forward into a crouch, lips curled up to bare his teeth in a growl. Both Hayato and Reborn let out snarls, and Takeshi zipped to Tsuna's side in a blur.

"Who's this?" Ken asked as he made to take a step forward. Chikusa held onto the collar of his shirt, restraining him.

"Behave, Ken."

"I apologize for their poor conduct," Lancia said coolly as M.M. stared at Ken with indifference, and Mukuro stared at him with slight horror. Hayato started herding me away, his eyes never once leaving the group of five vampires. Tsuna didn't get the chance to hear the rest of the conversation as he was picked up and whisked away by Takeshi, back to the Vongola house.

Enma was totally right. He shouldn't have gotten close to those vampires.

"So, how was it?" Tsuna attempted to start a light conversation when the rest of the Vongolas entered the house. They were tense, but it wasn't too bad.

"It's alright, Tsuna. They're not going to chase after you," Lambo said, a tone of relief in his voice. "Lancia said that he didn't think it was worth it to get into a fight over one human."

"I see." For some reason, Tsuna felt that it wasn't the case, but he decided to keep it to himself. It wouldn't do any good to tell the Vongolas that. If the group had a problem with him, they could take it up with him directly; there was no need to bother the Vongolas.

"Hey Giotto." Tsuna was currently at home, sitting at the dining table with Giotto opposite him. "Hypothetically, if a group of vampires are after you for no known reason, and you don't really want to involve other people, what should you do?" Giotto blinked and then pinned Tsuna with a soul-searching stare.

"Hypothetically?" Giotto asked. Tsuna nodded firmly.

"Hypothetically."

Giotto stared for a while longer before he sighed. "I knew this day would come," he muttered under his breath. Tsuna politely pretended to have not heard him, just as his mother had taught him.

The young brunet patiently sat at the table as Giotto got up and exited the room, in search of something. When he came back, he dropped a pair of mittens onto Tsuna's lap. Tsuna picked them up, staring at Giotto blankly. Giotto stared back seriously.

"Do what feels right," he said solemnly and walked out of the room. Tsuna slowly looked back at the mittens in his hand and let his head fall onto the table with a muted 'thump'.

Thanks for nothing, Giotto.

When Tsuna got hit on the head immediately after entering his room, it was kind of sad to say that he expected it.

It turned out that the leader of the group was not Lancia but, in fact, Mukuro. Again, Tsuna wasn't very surprised. He did try to act that he was, though, for it wouldn't be really nice to pop Mukuro's bubble. And Tsuna wanted to be nice; there would be a better chance for him to stay alive that way.

"So, you hate vampires, and hence want to kill all vampires. Afterwards you wish to spark the third world war and spread despair over the entire earth. However, in order to do so, you need me," Tsuna summarized Mukuro's long and dramatic monologue. "I still don't understand why you need me. I'm just human."

Mukuro smirked, his right eye glowing a rather ominous red. "You're not just any regular human, Tsunayoshi Sawada. Your bloodline contains a very interesting trait."

Tsuna stared at him blankly. "Sorry, but I really have no idea what you mean," he said. Mukuro seemed displeased.

"Well, you better 'get an idea' soon, Tsunayoshi. You wouldn't want your mother to suffer now, would you?" He lifted up a phone and Nana Sawada's anxious voice poured out of the speakers.

"Tsuna? Tsuna!" Tsuna's blood froze for a second, but something within him realized that the situation seemed off, somehow. For one, the voice was a bit static, almost as if it was... a recording...

"When in doubt, always play along, Tsu-kun!"

"Mum?" Tsuna didn't even have to try to make his voice shake. "Mum! Where are you?!" Before Nana's voice could say anything else, Mukuro hung up and smiled at Tsuna.

"You understand now, do you?" Mukuro's smile was unbearably smug. Tsuna was hit with an urge to punch it off, but he restrained himself. He could always punch Mukuro later, once he was sure he would be safe and not dead.

"Yes," he whispered, letting his gaze drop to the ground.

He needed a plan, and fast.

"Aren't you a vampire as well?" Tsuna asked Mukuro. The indigo haired teen's eyes darkened and Tsuna almost regretted asking the question. Almost.

"I was a human, as all vampires once was. However, a group of vampires decided to kidnap and experiment on us, trying to bring out the 'special powers' certain vampires seemed to have." His voice was bitter and full of loathing. Mukuro glanced at Tsuna and flinched at the sorrowful look on his face. Why did the human look like that? There was no reason for him to care about a bunch of vampires.

"I see. I can't fault you for that," Tsuna said quietly. Mukuro glared at him.

"Don't pity us. We don't need your pity," he hissed. Tsuna's eyes widened in shock and fear, and he unconsciously shuffled backwards.

"I-I'm not pitying you!" he stuttered out. "I… I just feel like I want to help."

Mukuro's glare increased in intensity. "If you want to help us, you can start by lending us your power."

"I keep telling you, I have no idea what you're talking about!" Tsuna wailed. "Why doesn't anyone listen to me?"

Tsuna wasn't really sure of how much time had passed ever since he had been captured by Mukuro's group. Since he had been kept in a windowless room, he wasn't able to see the sun in order to calculate the amount of time he had spent in captive. It was a little scary, really, but the vampires had been nice to him. Well, nicer than he thought they would be, anyway. He would like to believe that he had formed some sort of strange friendship with them. However, Mukuro still didn't believe him when he insisted that he had no idea what his supposed power was, and it really put a damper on their blooming friendship.

He stared down at the pair of mittens Giotto gave him. Did they have anything to do with the power Mukuro talked about? And what did Giotto mean by 'Do what feels right'?

Suddenly, an explosion shook the building, making Tsuna squeak and drop the mittens. He quickly picked them up once again and stuff them in his pocket. What was that? Was someone attacking? He flinched once again as the door was thrown open, and Mukuro stalked in, a dark expression on his face. Tsuna opened his mouth, about to ask him what was wrong, when Mukuro snatched up his left arm in a tight, painful grasp, and dragged him out of the room roughly. Tsuna gritted his teeth in pain. "What's wrong?" he asked. Mukuro shot him a disgusted look.

"Your little guard dogs are here," he spat out. "You called them here, didn't you? No matter what you said, you actually had to intention to help us."

"I don't know what you're talking about." When there was no answer, Tsuna felt his rage build up. In a sudden rush of strength, Tsuna twisted out of Mukuro's grasp and glared at the older male with angry, watery eyes. "I really have no idea what you're talking about! No one ever listens! I'm sick and tired of it! I didn't call them here, okay? I don't even know how they found me!" At Tsuna's words, Mukuro rolled his eyes and scoffed, not believing his words. However, there was a small glimmer of doubt in his eyes.

When Mukuro restrained Tsuna again, Tsuna didn't fight back.

Once they arrived at, what Tsuna dubbed as, the battlefield, all motion stopped and everyone's gaze flew to the pair. Tsuna found it pretty awkward, and fidgeted in Mukuro's grasp. His small, almost imperceptible, movement was what threw everything back into motion. Hayato tried to lunge at Mukuro, but was held back by Chikusa.

"Tsuna!" he yelled out desperately, "You bastards better not have done anything to him!" Mukuro merely smirked in answer, causing Hayato to let out a snarl. Takeshi tightened his grip on a sword – what? – and was promptly disarmed and thrown onto the floor by Ken. Tsuna flinched and tried to move towards Takeshi, but Mukuro tightened his grip, warning him against the action. Reborn narrowed his eyes and cocked his gun. Tsuna's eyes flickered over to his and he gave a strained smile.

"It's fine, Reborn. I'm okay."

"Don't lie." It was said flatly. Reborn didn't believe a word Tsuna had said. Tsuna sighed, aggravated.

"I'm not lying," he insisted.

"I can read their minds, Tsuna. Don't you remember? I know they've been treating you horribly." Tsuna blinked, a bit confused. He thought back to memories of his captivity. At the beginning, they only gave him bread, but once he accidentally let slip that he was fond of fried eggs and Salisbury steak, they gave it to him for almost every meal. They would accompany him whenever he needed to go to the toilet, and the bed they provided was quite comfortable.

"I think that I've been treated quite well, all things considered," Tsuna said. Before anyone could counter with anything else, however, there was a black blue and Tsuna was thrown into the wall. He winced and rubbed the back of his head. Kyoya had suddenly appeared beside Mukuro, attacking the indigo haired man, and Mukuro was forced to defend himself with a triton that literally materialized from thin air.

It was terrifying.

Tsuna slowly stood up, only to fall back down again when a bunch of chains shot past his face, restraining all five vampires in Mukuro's group. Mukuro's eyes snapped to Tsuna's betrayal clear in them. Tsuna's own eyes were wide and confused. Seriously, what the hell was happening? There were so many things he didn't know.

From the shadows behind him, a bunch of ominous looking men in black coats and black top hats stepped out. Tsuna was frozen in place as they walked past him to where Mukuro was.

"W-who are you?" Tsuna managed to force out. The man at the front paused in his movement and turned around to face the boy.

"We are the Vindice, and we dispose of those who break the laws of vampire society," he replied emotionlessly. Tsuna shuddered at his tone.

"Break the laws…? What have they done?"

"Mukuro Rokudo, Chikusa Kakimoto, Ken…" Tsuna tuned out the list of names. "…and Lancia have nearly revealed the vampire society to humans by overfeeding." Tsuna struggled to stand up and looked at the Vindice man in the eye. Or, well, where he thought their eyes were.

"'Nearly revealed' means that they haven't revealed yet, right? S-so I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that they haven't actually broken the law yet, so you are on n-no grounds to… punish them." Maybe it was Stockholm syndrome, maybe it was his bleeding heart that he probably inherited from Giotto, but Tsuna didn't feel that it was right for those people to die.

Tsuna didn't want them to die.

"Negotiations are not accepted," the man said and turned his back to Tsuna. Tsuna felt a burst of anger fill him and he impulsively ran towards the chains near Mukuro and held them in his hands. He then squeezed his eyes shut, took a deep breath, and broke them. Immediately, the Vindice refocused their attention to Tsuna. "Hunter," the whispered to one another. Tsuna was shaking in fear, but he still held his ground.

"Listen to me," he said quietly. "You will be accepting negotiations." As expected, the Vindice didn't pay attention to his words, and a chain shot out towards Tsuna at an unimaginable speed. Before it could even graze Tsuna, however, Mukuro pushed him to the side and the chain pierced him through the stomach. Tsuna stared up at Mukuro with wide, unbelieving eyes.

"Why?" he whispered. Mukuro smirked.

"Now, we're equal. I don't owe you anything," he replied and collapsed to the ground. At Mukuro's seemed incapacitation, the Vindice moved forward once again to try and capture him. Tsuna gritted his teeth and stood up.

"No. You will listen to me right this instance!" he yelled out. Everyone in the room froze and turned to him. Tsuna gave a dry smile. "Thank you," he said sarcastically and changed his smile to, what he secretly called, Nana's I'll-get-what-I-want smile version 4.0. "Now let's talk and settle this like civilized people, shall we?"

"I did not know that you could do that," Reborn commented, a little amazed. Tsuna laughed sheepishly.

"I didn't know I could do that too," he admitted, scratching the back of his head. Somehow, he had gotten out of everything without even the slightest scratch. It was really too good to be true. "Um, could you guys go first? I'll join you late I have…" Tsuna hesitated, looking back at Mukuro's group of vampire. "I have something I want to do first."

Surprisingly, it was Ryohei that spoke up, looking at him seriously. "Are you extremely sure, Tsuna?" he asked. "One of us can always wait here for you." Tsuna shook his head, smiling.

"It's fine. I'll be fine. Now, go," he shooed them out. Once the Vongola were gone. Tsuna sighed and the tension left him, only to come back when Mukuro spoke.

"So why did you spare us? So we could owe you? So that we are in your debt?" he sneered. Tsuna fiddled with his fingers, biting his lip and wondering how he should put his message across to the volatile vampire.

"I… I'm not going to pretend to understand what you have been through. B-but… while there are many awful and horrible things in the world, th-there's a lot worth protecting too! S-so I hope that one day you will understand that. That's why I… asked the Vendice to spare you lives." Tsuna fidgeted under Mukuro's stare for a while.

"And if we never understand that?" he asked. Tsuna shrunk into himself and stared at his feet.

"Then I won't ask you to stop, but I won't help you either," he said. There was a moment of silence before Mukuro started to laugh.

"Kuhahahaha! Alright then, Tsunayoshi Sawada. But you're a soft-hearted fool for allowing us to live." Mukuro was smirking. Tsuna gave a small smile in return.

He didn't think he would regret his decision.

Tsuna regretted his decision very much.

"Why are you in my English class?" he hissed to the indigo haired boy sitting next to him. Mukuro glanced at him, a smug little smile on his face.

"Kufufufu. You did ask me to understand your point of view; so what better way to do so than to live a life similar to yours, right next to yours?" he explained. Tsuna wanted to continuously hit his head against the table until the sweet salvation of unconsciousness overtook him. Of course, he restrained himself as it was improper class conduct.

"Hey Tsuna, who's that handsome boy sitting next to you? Do you know him?" the girl across the aisle whispered.

Tsuna nodded reluctantly. "Yeah, he's Mukuro Rokudo, an acquaintance of mine."

"Ah, I see. Is he single?"

Tsuna opened his mouth, about to answer, 'Yes, but you wouldn't want to date him anyway' but he got interrupted by an arm around his shoulder, dragging him backwards and into the embrace of one terribly dangerous vampire. Mukuro probably overheard the conversation and wanted to join in. Damned vampire super-hearing.

"I am taken, actually. In fact, I'm in a very happy and committed relationship with Tsunayoshi over here, isn't that right, darling?" Mukuro blew on the back of Tsuna's neck, making Tsuna jerk out of Mukuro's grasp and slam his head onto the table. Repeatedly.

"Sawada! Detention for disrupting the class!"

Should I write New Moon too?

Also, if you have anything specific you want to see in this AU, don't hesitate to tell me. I'll try to make it happen.

You can tell that I really like Sawada Nana. Also it's so weird to write Japanese names as (First name) (Last name) instead of (Last name) (First name).

I guess, if you have any questions, you can ask me. If you want to see the hypothetical next chapter turn real, message me too. I might be writing it, but I'm really on the fence about it.

I know I have like three other stories to write but I only write free. (looks off into the distance where a dolphin jumps out of the ocean)

title based on some irritating meme i dislike