Somewhere in Between

Lydia wakes up with the nagging feeling in her brain. She runs her hands through her hair, rubs her eyes. She's forgetting something. Checks her phone. Nothing. She lets out a disappointing sigh. Goes downstairs for breakfast.

But the feeling is still there. It becomes more immediate as the day goes by.

"So my dad's not coming home until late," Stiles says at lunch. "Apparently Parrish didn't show up."

Lydia forgets to swallow. Jordan.

"Why didn't he show up?" She asks hastily, but she already knows. Already feels her throat closing up with fear.

Scott notices. "Is something wrong?"

"Yes," she musters. Something is really wrong. But there is still time. Lydia hopes there's still time.

"Is this about Parrish?" Stiles asks, getting up from the table along with her. Malia looks at him uncertainly. Everyone's eyes are on Lydia now, eyebrows furrowed. She feels stupid.

"He's dying." She says.

They're running through the halls of the school. She's trying to figure our where he is, but the voices are growing louder and she knows that means he's closer to death.

"He's not answering," Stiles says somewhere in the background. "I called like twenty times."

"Can't exactly answer," Malia quips. "if he's dead."

Lydia's head whips towards her. She's angry, unreasonably so. "He's not dead." She says through gritted teeth. The voices are so loud. "Yet."

Everyone is expecting her to know. Expecting her to lead them to him, but she doesn't know what to do. She's panicking, the voices are screaming in unison but she can't discern a thing.

"Guys, calm down." It's Derek talking. He's standing next to his car. Looks calm, but Lydia can tell his mind is a mess. Parrish wasn't exactly a part of their pack, but he's important. He's important to her.

"He's been taken by a werewolf pack." Derek says hastily. "Braeden is hunting them down. We gotta follow. She's gonna need backup."

Everyone's dispersing now, Scott with Derek. Stiles is running towards his Jeep.

"Lydia?" Derek asks. "How much time have we got?"

She swallows hard. Tries to concentrate. "Not much."

Derek nods, his lips a tight line. "Get in," he says.

They're driving really fast. And it happens. Lydia feels the scream, ripping through her insides like an orb of pure energy. She tries to keep it back, give them more time, but she can't. There's no point, the scream is just a sign. She lets it out, feels the scalding hot tears running down her face. Fingernails dig into her thighs, break skin. The scream is not just a sign of Jordan's death. It's her own death too.

"Lydia," Scott says from the back. His voice is small. "Lydia, I'm sorry."

There's nothing to be sorry for. She's lost another person she loved. And Lydia loved him. He made it so difficult, age difference, this and that. There would always be time, he said. Let's take it slow. And now, there was no time. There was no Jordan Parrish to wait for.

Derek pulls the car over. They've been driving through the woods, but Lydia can barely feel the unfavorable terrain.

"We need to find him," Derek says quietly. Lydia knows they're only quiet for her sake.

She stumbles out of the car, Scott holding her up. "You should stay here," he says. "This is too much."

Lydia laughs. It's a desperate laugh. "I can help,"

"You'll drive yourself over the brink."

"I'm already there, Scott." She says. "Between Lydia, and Aiden and him. I might as well sign up for Eichen House."

There's a rustling in the distance. Autumn leaves under the feet of Braeden.

"That pack," she says, clutching her arm. "a group of fucked up bastards."

"What happened?" Derek asks, surveying the wound.

"They're into experimentation." She says. "Hyped up on something that made them a bitch to kill."

She looks to Lydia. "I'm sorry. They had him tied to a table, tortured him."

"Why?" Scott asks. "What did they want with him?"

"Wanted something he had? His powers?" Braeden says. "Dumped his body in the woods. Nearly killed me too. What took so long?"

Derek sighs. "We need to find the body."

Lydia shudders. There's a whisper in her head, a chanting she can't decipher. Something isn't right. Someone else is dying.

"Was there anyone else?" Lydia asks shakily. "Was there anyone else with Parrish?"

Braeden furrows her brows. "No one I saw."

"We need to look," she says. "There's someone else."

"Okay," Scott says finally. "Okay, let's look."

The abandoned building is empty. Medical paraphernalia scatters the floor, the wobbly table. Needles, tubes. Lydia shudders. There are deep scratches where Jordan's hands would have been on the table, bloodstains. They tortured him.

"There's nobody here," Derek says finally. "Lydia?"

She shakes her head. "No, there has to be someone."

"Are you sure? Here?"

She furrows her brows, tries to concentrate on the noises in her head. "I don't know where." She says.

They get back to the woods, search of Jordan's body because they don't want coyotes tearing it apart. Malia claims it might be too late, but she falls quiet when Stiles whispers something in her ear. Lydia feels overwhelmed, but like a game of hot or cold, she feels the voices grow louder the further they get into the woods.

They find his body near a large oak. Lydia stays back, deals with the voices. Barely hears anything else. She doesn't want to see him dead. Refuses to think about it. This has been so hard. She exhales, but the weight in her chest remains.

"Something isn't right," Stiles' voice cuts through the noise. "I think he's still alive!"

Lydia whips around, approaches the group cautiously. They pull away to let her through. The voices still hiss and scream in her head, and she tries her best to block them out. And there he is. His torn up body, covered in cuts and bruises. Swollen. Hair matted to his forehead, eyes purple with bruising. Mouth covered in old blood. She feels a cold shiver run down her spine, wants to clutch his broken body. Wants to scream.

"We need to get him to the hospital. He's dying. Fast." Derek instructs.

And they're in the car again, Jordan's head in her lap and she's cradling him, trying to stop her hot tears from falling onto his face. But they drip drop involuntarily. His life is hanging in a limbo, and she feels a mixture or relief and extreme fear. And confusion. Were her Banshee abilities wrong? Why did she scream if he wasn't dead? Perhaps someone else had died. But who?

He's in the hospital now, and the doctor says it's a coma. The Sherriff is here too, arguing with Stiles in a hushed voice. And Lydia is sitting outside the room because you have to be family to see him. She's been waiting for Scott's mom, knows she'll make an exception.

"At least he's alive," Kira says. "That's more than we expected."

Lydia nods. "I just don't understand," she says. "Why was I wrong?"

"Maybe a coma is close enough to death?"

"No," Lydia says. "It wouldn't be."

"There's only one explanation," Deaton says that evening. "He did die."

"But he's breathing," Scott interjects. "He's not dead."

Deaton sighs. "He was dead at the time of Lydia's scream."

"So he resurrected?" Stiles asks.

"Yes," he says. "He's in the process."

"He's not human, we know that." Derek says. "And this wouldn't be the first time." Stiles releases a badly timed snort.

"Precisely." Deaton says. "But if my hunch is right, then his regenerative abilities have everything to do with what he is."

"Which is?" Malia coaxes.

"A Pheonix."

"And he doesn't know?"

"He wouldn't know." He says. "He wouldn't remember."

Lydia's throat feels dry. Her eyes burn with agony and desperation. Jordan wouldn't remember. He wouldn't remember her, or-

"He's alive," Deaton says finally. "That should be enough."

"It is," Lydia croaks, but hot tears run down her face anyways.