Hey there. I've been a (silent) reader of Naruto x Total Drama fanfiction for a while, especially the harem ones. This idea jumped into my head and I just knew I had to write it.

This story is about Naruto, a high school senior student who has recurring dreams/nightmares of being a ninja back in the Shinobi Age. Moving out of Japan and to Canada so he could find the answer to his dreams, he saves Chris McLean from a speeding car. To thank Naruto, Chris casts him as the bachelor for a Bachelor-like spin-off of Total Drama, with all twenty-six Total Drama females vying for his attention. If Naruto picks a girl, then he and the girl will win a million dollars together. To keep things from looking like Naruto is a home wrecker, all of the girls are currently single. The girls who had boyfriends at the time of Pahkitew Island will have an explanation as to why they're not still with them.

But there's a twist. Every "episode", which will be two-three chapters each, Naruto has to choose to eliminate one of the twenty-six girls. However, you guys will ultimately decide through a poll who will be eliminated each "episode." There will also be challenges each episode where three girls will win immunity and a group date with Naruto. You guys will get to vote on that via poll as well.

This fic is rated M for fanservice, language, and sexual themes.

Now, without further adieu, let's get this show on the road, shall we?

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or total drama. Or I wouldn't be writing this fanfiction.

Episode 1, Part 1: Every Man's Dream

Eighteen year old Naruto Uzumaki wasn't sure how he got in this situation, but he had become the contestant on a dating reality show. He never was the biggest fan of reality shows, but the fact that twenty-six girls would be competing for his affections felt like a fair trade off.

How did it come to this? Naruto, upon insistence of his father, moved from Japan to America now that he was graduating high school. The reason for the move was to find a psychiatrist who could explain all of the dreams Naruto had been having ever since middle school.

He would have dreams that he was part of the age of ninjas, fighting in a mass war against an evil ninja by the name of Madara. He wasn't sure why, but Naruto felt as if the dreams were a little too realistic. They felt too familiar. That's why he had come to the west, to try and find someone who could decipher his dreams.

Things quickly changed, however, when Naruto saved a man named Chris McLean from a speeding car. He was the host of a reality show called Total Drama, one of the hottest reality shows in the world, which was also getting a spin-off called Total Drama Presents: The Ridonculous Race.

To show his gratefulness, Chris offered Naruto a role in the franchise's new dating reality show spin-off. Naruto would be living with the twenty-six female contestants from Total Drama Island, Action, World Tour, Revenge of the Island, All Stars and Pahkitew Island.

Naruto always thought he was fine looking enough. He stood at six foot, two inches. His muscular frame was developed from being a black belt in karate. He had messy blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. A unique birthmark that he had was in the shape of "whiskers" on his cheeks. He wore a black sleeveless shirt exposing his biceps with an orange spiral on the front and black shorts with an orange stripe running down both sides.

His athletic body, blonde hair, blue eyes, and optimistic charisma had earned Naruto a few admirers in Japan (especially since a blonde haired Japanese guy was pretty damn rare), but he never expected to be living with twenty-six girls and to be expected to fall in love with one of them.

As he stood outside of the mansion the twenty-seven of them would be staying at, he was pulled out of his thoughts by the voice of Chris McLean.

The host nudged the Japanese boy in the side, "Ready, Uzumaki? Excited?"

Naruto shrugged, "I guess so. I think it'll be fun."

"Oh, I agree," Chris snickered sadistically. Naruto cocked an eyebrow at him but didn't ask any questions.

Before Naruto could say anything else, Chris turned to the cameras and put on his usual cocky grin, "Hello, Total Drama fans! The name's Chris McLean, and this is the beginning of a beautiful spin off!"

"And-"

Naruto was cut off by the host, earning Chris a glare, but the host didn't seem to notice and continued, "This is Total Drama Romance! This season, after some discouraging break-ups behind the scenes recently, all twenty-six lovely ladies from the series will be competing for our bachelor's affections through challenges, dates, and elimination until only two remain! It's then that our bachelor will choose which lovely lady will be his one and only and the two will win one million dollars! Tell the audience your name, and make it quick!"

Naruto grinned at the camera and stated, "Sup? I'm Naruto Uzumaki from Shinjuku, Tokyo, and-"

"Great!" Chris interrupted him once again. Naruto's opinion of Chris was dropping by the minute. No, second.

"Who will find love?" Chris asked, "What drama will unfold? And who will be the first girl eliminated? Find out right here! On... Total! Drama! Romance!"

The two fell silent as Naruto sarcastically remarked at Chris's theatrics, "...Seriously?"

Once the theme song had rolled, Chris exclaimed, " And we're back! So, Naruto, are you ready to meet the girls?"

"Might as well be," he grinned, "Bring it, dattebayo!"

"Datte-what now?" The host turned to look at the Japanese boy confusedly.

"It means- Oh, fuck it, that'd take too long to explain," Naruto shook his head. Just then the bus carrying the twenty-six contestants.

"First up is Amy and Samey!" Chris announced.

"Um, it's Sammy," one of the two girls nervously corrected him.

The first two off the bus were, to Naruto's surprise, twins. They both shared the same long, blonde hair and blue eyes. They also both shared their shapely frames and modest b-cup sized chests, accentuated by the red cheerleader outfits they were wearing. What made them able to be told apart was that one had a mole on one of her cheek's while the other didn't. The one with the mole, Amy, had a confident look on her face, while the one without, Sammy, had a less than comfortable look on her face.

Amy looked Naruto up and down once before her rosy red lips curled into a smirk, "Huh. Not bad. I could compete for you."

Naruto rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled sheepishly, "You two aren't half bad yourselves."

Sammy's eyes lit up at the compliment as she rubbed her arm shyly, "Um, thank you-"

"He didn't mean you, Samey," Amy sneered, "After all, you're just the younger twin. The clone-"

"Sammy, right?"

Both Amy and Sammy were shocked when Naruto addressed the more timid twin. She nodded in confirmation.

"Yeah?"

"You're just as cute as your sister," he said with a grin, just hoping to cheer her up a bit.

Sammy's face began to blush in gratefulness while Amy's began to burn red in anger. Before either twin could say anything, Chris exclaimed, "Move it along! We have twenty-four more girls to introduce! Next up is... Anne Maria!"

As the two girls reluctantly moved to stand behind Naruto in a line, the next girl exited the bus. She was short and a little chubby, but the chubbiness flattered her figure. Her skin was dyed an orange-tan due to her spray tan. She rose a can of hairspray in the air and sprayed her tall dark-purple hair, giving a smooch to the air. She adjusted her rose tank top to show off more of her ample, double-D sized cleavage, and pulled up her tight blue jeans around her wide hips, although they continued to still show a bit of her navel to the boy.

She walked up to Naruto with an air of confidence before wrapping her arms around his neck and spoke in a Jersey accent, "Hey, Doll. So you'se Naruto, right?"

Their lips rested only a few inches apart as Naruto swallowed and said, "Well, that's what my okaa-san says."

"Okaa-what?" she arched an eyebrow in confusion.

"My mom," he explained, simply."

"Ah, your Ma," she repeated, before sensually twirling her index finger around his back, "Well, dependin' how good you are, I might end up calling you daddy once this is all done with."

As she walked off to join the other two girls, Amy rolled her eyes, Sammy flashed red at Anne Maria's innuendo, and Chris tugged at his collar and twisted his legs to hide his slight arousal by her antics. Naruto, however, being raised in Japan just thought it was a cultural thing.

"Ahem," Chris cleared his throat, "Next up is... Beth!"

A green and pink blur sped out of the bus and latched herself onto Naruto. She was a very short girl with brown hair tied in a ponytail and black glasses. She wasn't the prettiest girl around, but she had a very sweet aura to her. However, despite her green vest revealing that she was very flat chested, her pink jeans showed that her hips could almost give Anne Maria a run for her money.

"It's so incredulous to meet you!" she exclaimed, before looking up at him, "Wow. You're Japanese, right? I've never seen a Japanese guy so tall before! Er- Not that that's bad or anything!"

Naruto have an uneasy laugh, "Don't worry about it." She might have been blunt and a little awkward, but he could tell she meant well. She continued the hug for a few moments before Naruto finally spoke up.

"Beth?"

"Yeah?"

"You're kinda crushing my spine."

The geek let go and flashed red, rubbing the back of her neck, "Err, sorry."

As Beth nervously went to stand with the others, Naruto chuckled and called back to her, "Don't worry about it, Dattebayo!"

"Girl number five is..." Chris gave a groan, "Not her. ANYONE but-"

"Blaineley Stacy Andrews O'Halloran is in the house!" An adult woman exclaimed as she exited the bus, "I bet you've been dying to meet me. I mean, I AM me, after all."

Naruto watched in amazement as the woman in her thirties swayed her hips as she walked towards him. Her hair and eyes reminded him of Amy and Sammy in a way; hell, even their figures were similar, only Blaineley's bust was much bigger than theirs, as the red dress she sported showed off her cleavage and pretty bangable behind in all of their glory. The one thing that Naruto noticed about her was that she seemed to have a girdle on, meaning she was a little chubbier than her body led on.

"...I'm sorry, but who are you?"

Most of the girls widened their eyes, knowing what was about to come next. Chris, however, burst out into laughter.

"Who am I? WHO AM I?" Blaineley asked, bursting out in anger, "Who are YOU? I was the host of the puppy-"

As Blaineley began to rant on and on, Naruto turned to Chris and asked, "Hey, man. What gives? I thought everyone would be around my age."

Chris shrugged, "You're eighteen so it's legal. Besides, trust me, she's the last person I wanted to be here, but the producers insisted."

Blaineley finally broke out of her ranting and crossed her arms, saying, "Oh, shut the fuck up, McLean."

Naruto turned from Blaineley back to Chris and muttered, "Back home in Japan they call people like her... You know. People in their thirties that aren't married, Christmas cake."

To the boy's surprise, Blaineley must have known what he meant as she strutted up to him and grabbed his chin, leaving their lips several inches apart, "Look, buster. I might be 'Christmas cake,' but I have tons of more experience than any of these inexperienced skanks."

Anne Maria put her hands on her hips, "Excuse me?!"

Chris took this chance to push Blaineley out of the way, "Enough of the screen hog! Next up is.. Bridgette!"

The next girl to step off the bus had her hands in her blue hoodie pockets and looked down at the ground as she walked towards Naruto. Her eyes seemed calm and collected, as she brought one of her hands out of her pockets to brush a lock of her blonde hair that was pulled into a ponytail out of her eyes. Her arms and torso were covered by a blue hoodie, paired with a pair of blue jean shorts that showed off her athletic legs.

Naruto rose an eyebrow at the girl and asked, "Uh, are you okay?"

"Oh, uh, yeah, I'm fine," Bridgette replied, looking up at the bachelor and extending her hand out to him, "I'm Bridgette. Nice to meet you."

"Likewise!" Naruto replied with a grin, more than a little glad that for once someone introduced themselves normally.

"Uh, Bridgette?" Beth asked, raising her hand, "What happened to you and Geoff?"

"I'd... Rather not talk about it," the surfer replied, pursing her lips, before retorting with, "Besides, what happened between you and Brady?"

Beth just bit her lip and fell silent. Naruto's gaze went from Bridgette to Beth and back again. He wasn't sure what, but it seemed like Chris's idea of "fun" was beginning to come into play. Obviously, he had brought two girls who had just recently broke up with their boyfriends there, and for no reason other than to exploit him. It made Naruto a little sick.

He broke out of his thoughts when he heard Chris exclaim, "Next up is Courtney!"

He watched a Latina become the next girl to exit the bus. Freckles dotted her nose and cheeks, while her brunette hair styled in a slightly longer style of a bob bounced around her ears. She wore a professional attire of a grey top and green pants, that accentuated her full, curvy figure to its utmost potential.

"I'm Courtney," she extended her hand to Naruto, "A pleasure to meet you. I hope you know to pick me so we can split that million together, right?"

He shook her hand and shrugged, responding with, "Could happen."

"Third time's the charm, eh, Courtney?" Blaineley scathingly called out, reminding the Latina of her failed relationships with Duncan and Scott.

"Oh, can it," she furrowed her brow and glared at Blaineley, "At least I'm not over the hill and looking for a man."

Naruto laughed in amusement, "See? I told you that she was Christmas cake!"

As Blaineley seethed, Courtney turned back to Naruto, "What I was saying when I was rudely interrupted was, be sure to pick the best girl. Me." With an air of confidence, she strode over to the other girls, standing next to Bridgette.

The Latina turned to her friend and asked, "So... You and Geoff still aren't together...?"

Bridgette gave a slight half-smile before shaking her head sadly. Courtney was one of the very few who knew about Bridgette and Geoff's break up, but that was fine with her.

"Our next contestant is Dakota!" Chris called out.

"Woah, you're kidding me," Naruto raised his eyebrows in surprise, "THE Dakota Milton?"

Shockingly enough, Dakota Milton was no longer mutated into a monster and was back to her regular self. She was the tallest of the girls so far with a tan model's body, albeit only having modestly B sized breasts, and a head of beautiful blonde hair. With her hand on her hip, she smiled amusedly at Naruto.

"Oh?" she asked, striking a pose, "You've heard of me? Of course, I'm not surprised-"

"Yeah!" the blonde boy exclaimed, "You got turned into a monster, right? It was all over the news back home!"

"...O-oh," her ego then deflated, as she rubbed the back of her neck self-consciously.

Naruto stood there for a moment before realizing what he said, "Oh, shit! That's not what I meant! Gomennasai!" He apologized.

"Daijoubu," she replied, giving a half-hearted smile despite saying it was okay. Naruto was shocked that an airhead heiress like her knew a little Japanese, but before he could say anything, she walked over to stand with the rest of the girls.

"Weren't you with that gamer geek or somethin'?" Anne Maria asked, as she went back to spraying her hair again.

Dakota looked down at the ground and rubbed her arm, "Yeah. Was."

"Okay, enough of the Paris Hilton knock off!" Chris exclaimed, earning glares from Dakota, Bridgette, and Naruto, "Contestant number nine is Dawn!"

Naruto turned towards the bus, but to his surprise, no one stepped out. It was then that he felt someone tapping on the bottom of his shoulder-blade. He jumped and turned around, seeing a short girl with almost elvish pointed ears. Her hair was a pale blonde, contrasting to her also pale, almost fairy-like skin. Her lips were painted with a violet lipstick, and she wore a green sweater and purple tights that clinged to her legs.

"I am very sorry to have startled you," she spoke with a very polite, elegant speech, "My name is Dawn. I hope this will be a pleasant experience for both of us."

"Uh, yeah, no problem," Naruto rubbed the back of his head, "Man, you talk really sophisticated and crap."

"And your aura indicates that you are much more blunt in your speaking," the moon child pondered, "An interesting contrast, don't you think?"

The Japanese teen blinked for a moment before asking, "My aura?"

"Yes, I'm an aura reader," she replied, modestly, "I also sense this feeling of bewilderment from you. Probably caused by a set of dreams or subconscious phenonena."

Naruto widened his eyes. The way she pegged him so quickly left him speechless. How did she do that just by reading someone's aura? Before he could ask, she had disappeared from her place beside him and was now standing beside Dakota.

"You still can read auras?" the heiress asked, thinking that maybe the whole aura thing was just a phase.

Dawn nodded, "Of course I can. In fact, I still feel a sense of wanting to belong emanating from you." Dakota bit her lip, but said nothing. She didn't want to admit it, but she knew Dawn was right.

"Next up is-" Chris interrupted himself, saying, "Oh, for fuck's sake. First Blaineley, now her?!"

A girl in a pink Disney-inspired dress stepped off of the bus. If Naruto didn't know any better, he would have thought she was Snow White. Hell, she looked almost just like her! She elegantly stepped towards Naruto and sang:

"Some day my prince will come
Some day we'll meet again
And away to his castle we'll go
To be happy forever I know!"

As Ella stopped in front of Naruto and curtsied, the boy replied with applause, "Not bad of a voice at all! What's your name?" He then ignored Chris yelling, "You LIKED that voice?!"

"I am Ella," she curtsied again, "I do believe that you are Prince Naruto, correct?"

"Well, I AM Naruto," he chuckled, "Dunno about the Prince part."

She tilted her head to the side and asked, "But you do have the affections of twenty-six fair ladies, correct? Only a Prince could have that power."

"Well, most of them ARE here for money," he admitted.

She shook her head and gave him a pleasant smile, saying, "Not ALL of us." Saying no more, she gracefully twirled over to stand with the rest of the girls.

Glad that Ella's introduction was done and over with, Chris announced, "Next up is none other than Eva!"

A scowling girl stomped off of the bus. She had a masculine look to her, with her scowl, muscular frame unibrow, and beauty mark on her cheek. But past that, the fact that she had a feminine ponytail and the fact that her sweat clothes showed off a bus that rivaled even Anne Maria's and Courtney's pretty sizable chests reassured them that she was indeed female.

She crossed her arms and arched her unibrow at Naruto, "Hm."

"Hm?" Naruto repeated.

"You've got some muscles," she spoke bluntly, "Work out at all?"

"Yeah, I do some karate. Black belt."

"Perfect," a half-smile replaced her usual scowl, "We'll get along just fine. But on one condition."

He arched an eyebrow, "And that is...?"

"Me and you having a sparring match later," Eva replied, "Capiche?"

Naruto's eyes lit up as he grinned, "Sounds like a plan! But just because you're a girl, I won't go easy on ya!"

"Even better," she smirked in amusement as she stomped over to the rest of the girls, standing next to Bridgette.

Bridgette tapped her on the shoulder, asking, "Hey, uh. Are you still upset about me voting you off back on the island?"

"Yes," was all she said.

"Wow, holding a grudge that long's bad for you, Eva," Courtney chimed in, a hand on her hip.

"You're one to talk, CIT," the bodybuilder snapped back.

Courtney opened and closed her mouth before finally admitting, "Yeah, true."

"Next up on the list is our resident goth, Gwen!" Chris announced.

A pale girl with black and blue dyed hair and blue lips slouched off of the bus, her arms crossed over her C-cup chest that seemed to mysteriously not be popping out of her black corset as much as others would assume, but enough to get a REAL good glimpse. The rest of her outfit consisted of her gothic style from her black and blue miniskirt to her long black boots.

She walked over to Naruto and studied him once before turning to Chris and saying, "At least he's not Duncan or Trent. Where did you find him?"

"Oh, just through auditions-" Chris didn't want to admit where he really found Naruto, but widened his eyes when Naruto interrupted the host.

"I saved his life," the teen shrugged, casting an amused smirk towards Chris, "Said it was the least he could do."

Gwen arched an eyebrow, but smirked nevertheless, "Kind of a waste saving his life, don't you think?"

"I'm starting to get it," he agreed with a grin.

"Hey!" Chris cried out in annoyance, but all this did was cause Naruto and Gwen to laugh at his misfortune.

"You're all right," Gwen turned back to Naruto, "Maybe something will work out."

Naruto shrugged, "Maybe." With that, Gwen went to stand with the others, standing by Courtney because there was little room elsewhere at the moment.

"Hey Gwen-"

"I'm still unhappy that you flushed our friendship down the toilet for a million dollars," Gwen recalled All Stars, "Please don't talk to me." Courtney opened her mouth to reply, but frowned and decided to comply with Gwen for now.

Still pissed off, Chris grumbled, "And girl number thirteen is Heather."

The resident Japanese queen bee stepped off the bus, her long black hair flowing behind her. She wore a mauve halter top, and judging by how perky her B-Cups seemed, she appeared to be going commando. She exuded a commandeering aura, as she stared off with her old contestants before walking towards Naruto.

"Wait a minute," Gwen mused aloud, "Aren't you with Alejandro?"

The queen bee gave a scoff, "We're on and off. Right now we're off, so..." Her gaze met Naruto's, "He'll do for now. Of course, the money comes first."

"Well, that's kinda the point of the show, right?" the blonde shrugged, "I mean, that's why you guys are here, right?"

"I'm glad you understand," she smirked, turning her nose up, "But still. You wouldn't be too bad to focus my attention on for now." She brought her slender finger up and brushed one of the teen's whisker-like birthmarks once before moving on to stand with the others.

"And with that, the first thirteen have been revealed!" Chris exclaimed, "The last thirteen contestants will arrive... after the break!" And with that, the show went to commercial break.

When it returned, Chris exclaimed, "And welcome back to Total Drama Romance! It's time to introduce the last thirteen contestants to the lucky, or unlucky, bachelor!"

"You just waited like five seconds then said we were back from commercial," Naruto pointed out, before adding, "And what's that about unlucky?!"

"You get used to it," Courtney deadpanned from the group.

"Next up is... Izzy!" Chris ignored both of them and introduced the fourteenth contestant.

Before Naruto could even turn towards the bus, he was knocked to the ground by a green and orange blur. Rubbing his head, he noticed he was now pinned to the ground by a wild-eyed redhead with vibrant green eyes. She wore a green tank-top with a hole cut in the torso, exposing a flash of cleavage. Wrapped around her hips was a lime-green wrap.

"Hey, hey!" she spoke loudly and quickly, "You're that Naruto kid right? I read somewhere you saved Chris's life or some crap like that-"

"Did not!" Chris whined from the sidelines.

"...Did too," Naruto grunted out, still pinned by Izzy.

"Man, I remember the first time I saved a life!" she exclaimed, before adding, "...Although, that wasn't really what they wanted, I think. I'm not sure. So! Am I right? You're Naruto or whatever? What's your favorite color? Food? Movie? Murder weapon?"

"Uh," Naruto blinked, processing the barrage of questions, "Yes I am, orange, instant ramen, Enter the Dragon, and I've never murdered anyone, but shuriken are pretty rad!"

"Sweet!" Izzy let him go and backflipped off of him, "We'll get along just fine, fox-face! Mind if I call you fox-face?"

"Yeah, kinda-"

"Okay, cool!" she exclaimed, no longer listening as she did a series of front-flips over to the line-up behind the teen, landing beside Eva, "Ooh! Eva! Now two-thirds of E-Scope is here! If only Noah was here! But he's not a girl, I guess. Technically."

Eva snickered, adding, "Yeah. Technically."

"Man, I wish I still had Noah as my assistant; wonder if I can force Chef to get me coffee," Chris muttered, before looking at the camera and introducing, "Contestant number fifteen is Jasmine!"

Naruto was shocked by the height of the next contestant. She was taller than him by an inch or two, although the last inch could have been from the cowboy hat she was wearing. She had dark skin and black hair pulled back in a ponytail. She wore a white tank-top that exposed her navel underneath a khaki jacket, as well as khaki shorts. She tipped her hat and extended a hand towards Naruto.

"G'day, mate," she spoke in an Australian accent, "The name's Jasmine."

"I've never met someone from Australia before," Naruto commented, shaking her hand, "Love the accent, dattebayo!"

She smiled, with a nod, "You're own 'cent isn't that bad itself, mate."

"...Mind if I say something, bluntly?"

She wrinkled her nose but nodded, "Sure. G'ahead."

"I've never seen a girl as tall as you before," he noted with a nod.

Jasmine frowned and turned away, rubbing her arms, "Well, that's-"

"Nonono!" he shook his head, "That's a good thing! It's just... I dunno. Rare, I guess?"

"Real-"

"Alright, move it along, Jasmine!" Chris called out, arms crossed, "Don't got all day!"

Jasmine and Naruto shot Chris a glare, alongside Sammy, before Jasmine turned back to the Japanese teen and nodded, "Well, thanks, blondie. 'Ppreciate it." She walked on to enter the line, taking a place next to her best friend, Sammy.

Amy frowned and looked Jasmine up and down, "I thought you and zombie boy were together?"

"That's none-"

"That's none of your business, Amy!"

Jasmine and Amy were both shocked to see Sammy stand up for Jasmine. A pleasant smile crossed Jasmine's face as a scowl of annoyance crossed Amy's. Either way, that shut up her twin.

"Thanks, Sammy," Jasmine nudged her best friend, gratefully.

"...Um, you're my friend, so it's nothing," Sammy rubbed her arm and smiled up at the taller girl.

"Gag me," Chris deadpanned, before turning back towards the bus, "Time for something to counteract the sweetness. It's Jo!"

Much like Eva, the next contestant had an air of athletic masculinity to her, but a shade of feminine awkwardness seemed to shine through every once in a while. She had short blonde hair, hazel eyes, and wore a sweat uniform that hid most of her athletic figure. She walked towards Naruto and rubbed the back of her neck.

"...Well, I guess this isn't really a competition more than it is a popularity contest, huh?" she was clearly out of her element in this season.

"I'm not really sure how this is going to work ever, to be honest," Naruto admitted with a laugh, "But hey. I think we're all pretty awkward here so-"

"Not really," Heather called out with a smirk, mostly to psyche out the usually confident Jo.

"Oh, shut your mouth, witch," Jo snapped at Heather, before turning back to Naruto, "I just... Don't do romance, y'know? I do challenges and winning and-"

"Then see this as a challenge," Naruto offered with a shrug, "Then maybe you'll win."

Jo pondered for a moment before finally saying, "...Huh. Good point, Whiskers."

"...Whiskers?" Naruto repeated, trying to hide the deadpan in his voice.

Her confidence returned, Jo elaborated, "It's a nickname, Whiskers. Deal with it." With that, she joined the others, only for Izzy to call out, "See?! I knew nicknames were the way to go!"

Chris rolled his eyes before calling out, "Next up is another double threat! It's Katie and Sadie!"

A loud squeal sounding like, "EEEEEEEEE!", escaped the lips of the next two contestants as they ran up to the blonde teen. They were a duo like Chris said, but unlike Amy and Sammy, they were not twins.

The first of them was the taller of the two with tanned skin. She was much skinnier and curvier than the other, with a smaller bust. The other was shorter and had pale skin, being on the chubby side and with a larger bust. An interesting tid-bit Naruto noticed was they both had their hair up in black pig-tails and wore a black and white striped shirt, alongside pink short-shorts.

"Oh my God, Sadie," the tanned one, named Katie, spoke up, "I was kinda hoping that Alejandro or Justin or Trent was the bachelor, but this guy's pretty yummy, too!"

"Totes!" Sadie replied to her best friend, "You do know you're totally yummy, right?"

Naruto flashed red for a moment, rubbing the back of his neck, "Uh, arigato, ladies."

"EEEEEE!" another ear-piercing squeal exited their lips as Sadie added, "And he speaks Japanese! Even better!"

"I know, right?!" Katie asked, as they let out another, "EEEEEEEEE!"

"Hey, can we chill the "Eeee"ing stuff for now?" Naruto asked, a finger in his right ear.

"Oh!" Katie replied, both of them blushing red, "Sorry!"

"Yeah, we're really sorry!" Sadie added. Now embarrassed, the two sidestepped past the boy and joined the others.

"Thank goodness," Chris muttered, pulling out earplugs he had put in his ears before saying, "Next up! LeShawna!"

"Hey, y'all, LeShawna's in the house!"

A dark-skinned girl with black hair tied back in a ponytail and a beauty mark on her cheek was the next to step off of the bus. She was on the chubby side, but her figure, chest, and hips gave Anne Maria and Courtney a clear run for their money. She wore a cream shirt with kumquats on them alongside some hip-hugging blue jeans.

"Hey, sugar baby," LeShawna greeted the bachelor, "How's it goin'?"

"Well, seeing as what my situation is, pretty good, really," Naruto teased, "How about you?"

"Well, I had to sit behind Heather on the bus, so it's not starting off all that great," she laughed, "You gonna make up for it?"

"Won't make any promises," he shrugged, "Hope so."

She laughed again, "Not bad, sugar. Least you're honest! I respect that." With that, she strutted over to stand next to Gwen.

"What's Harold going to think of this?" the goth teased her close friend.

"Girl, I've told Harold a long time ago we wouldn't work and you know it," she replied, but smiled regardless, "What about you? Third time's the charm?"

She shrugged, "That's what they say. But I'm not holding my breath."

"Next up is our very own resident looker," Chris began introducing the next contestant, "Lindsay!"

A looker was an understatement for Lindsay. She had bright blonde hair that was covered by a blue bandanna and big, baby blue eyes. Her figure was far and away the jealousy of many girls, being slender and curvy and sporting possibly the biggest rack amongst the group. She wore a brown and orange halter top that exposed a lot of her cleavage and bared her midriff, alongside an orange short skirt that exposed a lot of her legs.

"Tyler!" she cheered, latching onto Naruto, "I've missed you!"

"...Tyler?" Naruto finally asked after getting over the sensation of her breasts pressing against his chest, "My name's Naruto, not Tyler."

She let go and let out a loud, "Ohhhh! That's right, I broke up with Tyler. Oops. Sorry."

If this was an anime, Naruto definitely would have sweatdropped, "It's... alright?"

"So, Nate, you're the bachelor here, right?" she asked, getting the boy's name wrong like she did with everyone, "You do know how to treat a lady, right?"

"I believe so," Naruto chuckled, "At least, that's what my exes say amongst... well, bad things. Exes, y'know?"

"Oh, I know, Nate!" she replied, smiling.

"Naruto."

"Oh, Naruto!" she corrected herself, "Right! Sorry."

With that, she ran over to the others, most of the girls staring at her incredulously, but not too shocked. It was Lindsay after all. It wouldn't surprise them if she'd forget that she even broke up with Tyler. All believed that except for her best friend, Beth. She knew better. She knew Lindsay was smarter than she looked, as ditsy and forgetful as she was. She knew Lindsay said that to try and brush the recent break up into a comedic territory.

After blinking at, or ogling, Lindsay, Chris continued with, "Contestant number twenty-one is someone we probably should have filed a restraining order against! It's Scarlett!"

Naruto watched as all of the contestant's seemed to hold their breath at the mention of Scarlett's name. To Naruto's shock and dismay, the aforementioned contestant was led off of the bus in hand-cuffs by a police officer. A little wary, the police officer handcuffed her and entered the bus once more.

She didn't seem to fit someone who was a prisoner. She was short and mousy, with glasses and her red hair tied up in a bun. She wore a yellow sweater and a blue skirt that showed off her slender legs. She adjusted her glasses and stopped in front of Naruto.

"Wait a minute," he put two and two together, "I think I read about you. You're... Scarlett or something? You kept some reality show cast hostage until they gave you the million dollars? Or, well, obviously they didn't, but-"

She nodded, interrupting him and replying intellectually, "That is affirmative."

"...Someone didn't tell me that," Naruto turned and glared at Chris McLean.

"Shoulda read the fine print!" is all the sadistic host replied with.

"The police will be keeping a sharp eye on this mansion and island," Scarlett reassured, adjusting her glasses once more, "You can rest assured that all of you are safe. Unless, of course, I decide to take you hostage for the million dollars."

"...You're kidding, ri-"

"Yes," she confirmed, "Now let us begin anew. My name is Scarlett. I hope we can grow close to each other. If you can grow close to a prisoner, that is."

"We won't know until we hang out, right?"

"Hm. Quite." Scarlett nodded and made a mental note of that as she joined the others. Everyone took a step away from her, causing her to roll her eyes.

"...Now that that atomic bomb was defused, let's have something hilarious, shall we?" Chris tugged at his collar nervously, "It's Sierra!"

"COOOODYYYY- ...You're not Cody."

Standing in front of Naruto was a girl just a little shorter than him. She had deeply tanned skin and her hair was dyed a vibrant violet. She wore a golden tank-top that exposed quite a bit of skin, alongside some fairly nice jeans that accentuated her hips. However, she seemed fairly bewildered at what was going on.

"Sorry?" Naruto asked, arching an eyebrow and shaking her head, "No, I'm not. I'm Naruto Uzumaki."

Sierra stared at Naruto bewildered before turning to face Chris, "I thought you said Cody was the bachelor!"

"Oh, yeah, that," the host snickered, admitting, "I lied."

The fangirl turned back to the bachelor and scanned him up and down. There was no way she could do Naruto like she did Cameron and put Cody's image over him. No. She wouldn't do that anyway. That had affected her state of mind too much to do that again.

"Well," she finally spoke again, forcing a smile and extending a hand to the boy, "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade, I guess."

Naruto shook it, grinning, before shaking his head, "You don't hafta force yourself, y'know."

She shrugged, and spoke with wavering conviction, "Well... Cody never really felt the same, so..." Without saying anything else, she went to stand beside Izzy, who put a hand on the shoulder of her friend.

"That wasn't near as funny as I'd hoped," Chris deadpanned with a scowl, before brightening up, "But at least we have another chance since I lied to the next one, too! It's Sky!"

"No, no, no, no!" Naruto heard a new girl vehemently decline leaving the bus, "I'm not going on a dating show where Dave is the bachelor! You do remember that, right?!"

He watched as Chef Hatchet shoved an Asian girl out of the bus. She picked herself up and dusted herself off, before meeting Naruto's gaze and looking surprised that Dave was nowhere to be found. She had probably the most athletic toned body of the group, with a chest on the small size, but her behind more than made up for that. Her black hair was styled in a longer, curly bob and she wore a yellow blouse with a purple wrap around the waist and black yoga pants.

"...Yeah," Chris spoke up, "I lied about that too."

Sky glared at Chris, "Yeah. Obviously."

"Wait, how many potential killers have been on this show?" Naruto asked in a tone between concern and amusement.

"Too many," Sky replied with a sigh, but gave a smile, teasing, "You're not one of them, right?"

"Well, Izzy already asked me what my favorite murder weapon was," he replied, jerking a thumb back towards the psycho hose-beast, "So, I guess that door's open."

Sky giggled, "Well, as long as you don't kill me, we're good."

"It's a deal then."

The future olympian nodded and walked to stand next to Ella. She shifted uncomfortably, before saying, "Hey, uh, I know you still like Dave and I'm so-"

Ella shook her head and smiled, "It's okay. I understand completely. For now, Prince David may still be my prince, but... Until he is able to control his emotions, there are many other princes in the sea. Don't worry about little ole me."

As Sky sighed in relief, Chris announced, "Next up is... Staci!"

"Did you know that my great-great-great uncle invented buses?" Naruto heard someone lie, "Ya, before him, everyone walked to school."

Off of the bus was a chubby girl with long brown hair, wearing a pink bow in her hair, a pink turtleneck, and purple pants. She wasn't very sexually attractive, but when she wasn't lying, she had a slightly cute air to her.

"...That's nice?" Naruto asked, extending his hand, "I'm Naruto Uzumaki-"

"Is that Japanese?" she asked, before asking, "My great-great-great grandfather discovered Japan! Before then-"

"I really doubt that," he deadpanned, "Japan's existed as a nation longer than North America, right?"

Staci went quiet and turned red, "Um, uh- I'm sorry."

"'S'all'right," he shrugged, "Just don't try to lie about culture, y'know?"

She nodded awkwardly, making her way over the others in embarrassment. She mentally decided that if she was going to get far in this competition, she'd have to try and control her lying to some point.

"Only two left!" Chris announced, "Our second-to-last contestant is Sugar!"

"Sugar's gonna win this pageant!" a girl with a Southern accent exclaimed as she stepped off of the bus. Like Staci, she was also chubby and had blonde hair piled high like a bee's nest. Unlike Staci, Sugar wasn't afraid of hiding her body, flashing some skin with her pink halter top that came across as barely a strip of clothing across her chest and blue jeans.

"This pageant?" Naruto repeated, confusedly, "This is a reality show."

"I know, hun," she waved him off, before crushing him in a hug, "It's a pageant for your heart, right?"

"I guess," he choked out, "Can you let go before you snap my spine?"

She promptly let go and gave him a wink, "Sure thing, sugar. Get it? Sugar?" She gave a loud laugh before walking over to the others and announcing, "I ain't even sure why the rest of y'all are here. The prize is mine!"

"Oh, we're all secretly jealous of you, Sugar," Sky deadpanned, which Sugar didn't seem to notice.

Lastly, the final contestant walked off of the buss, "And lastly, it's Zoey!"

The girl was petite with red hair tied back into pigtails, matched with rosy red lipstick and a red tube top that exposed the tops of her c-cups. She also wore grey yoga pants and a flower in her hair, which complemented her wide eyes.

"You 'n Vito ain't together anymore?" Anne Maria gasped in horror and slight joy.

"Mike?" Zoey repeated, shaking her head, sadly, "No. I wish you hadn't brought it up."

"Okay, Chris," Naruto finally spoke up, asking, "What gives? This is like the fifteenth person who broke up with someone recently."

Chris shrugged, uncaringly, "It's good for ratings."

"Ignore him, he's always like this ," Zoey said, before awkwardly adding, "I hope we can be friends, Naruto! Err, if you want that is. But wait, the point of this is for us to be more than that-"

"Nervous?" Naruto asked, interrupting her.

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, "I just... I hope we can be friends. And if something happens, I guess something happens."

"Sounds good," he agreed with a grin.

"Alrighty!" Chris announced, "It's time for the first challenge! And boy, is it a doozy!"

"We just got here!" Heather argued, before saying, "Oh, forget it. You don't give a shit."

"You know me so well," the host chuckled before turning back to the cameras, "We'll be right back with the first challenge! On... Total! Drama! Romance!"

Naruto wasn't sure what he had got into. A show with a sadistic host, where ultimately Naruto would have to choose one of twenty-six girls.

A toothy grin crossed his face. Let the games begin.

And there's the first chapter! Who are you rooting for getting with Naruto? Tell me through a review, as well as what you thought!

Also, the first poll is up on my profile for who should win immunity, as well as the first group date with our foxy hero!

Until the next chapter!