A Stitch In Time…

Disclaimer - I don't own the rights, Zorro Production Inc does - I just like to play with the characters.

Plot - Diego has an embarrassing accident in the tavern.

One shot.

Diego knew he shouldn't have worn his dark blue suit to the pueblo, he knew the trousers were tighter than normal but he had been in a hurry and grabbed the first suit he could get his hands on.

He blamed it on his father for rushing home, after a particular nasty encounter between Zorro and de Soto in the plaza, where it seemed that the Alcalde had actually managed to get a shot off at the masked bandit but thankfully, the bullet had missed him by inches. He had seen his father leave the plaza and head out in the direction of their home and he knew he had to get back to the hacienda before the older man, if he wanted his secret identity to remain a secret. And as his father was making good time on Dulcinea, it that meant he would have to enter his rooms through the window; a risky business at any time, for how could he explain his strange behaviour if discovered coming through the window, let alone explain why he was wearing Zorro's clothing and sabre.

He had made it back to his rooms just in time and grabbed the nearest suit. A suit that should have been mended or better yet, the material reused for something else. His father had come into his room, complaining again about de Soto and his obsessive need to capture the only man in Los Angeles, who stood against the injustice of their leaders. Don Alejandro had blustered angrily for ten minutes before stating he was going to organise a meeting with the caballeros to discuss their situation.

He knew he had to calm his father down before any rash decisions were made, or people would be hurt. Eventually the older man calmed down, and they agreed to return to the tavern for lunch, where Don Alejandro could calmly talk with his friends, under his watchful gaze.

But now, as he sat carefully on one the benches in the tavern, beside his father and Felipe, he felt the material stretching across his buttocks, in a way that his tailor would not be happy about, and the two mile ride into the pueblo hadn't helped either. He sat very still, for he believed that any sudden movement would cause him great embarrassment, so he tried to focus his attention on the conversation his father was having with Sergeant Mendoza.

He was doing well until Victoria came up to their table, "Excuse Diego, I'm sorry to bother you but I was wondering if you could please help me with getting some wine bottles from the cellar?" she asked, "It's just the wine merchant didn't place them were I normally have them and it's hard for me to reach them."

Instinctively, his gluteus maximus muscles clinched in fear of bending down but what else could he do. He couldn't actually tell her that he wouldn't be able to help her because his feared his trousers might split apart, "Of course Victoria," he replied with a smile that belied his anxiety, "Both Felipe and I will help you." he added. Perhaps he could get Felipe to do the lifting and carrying, he thought to himself as he carefully rose from the bench and motioned to Felipe and together they followed Victoria to the cellar.

"I can't thank you enough for this," Victoria said as she pointed out the wine bottles she wanted, "Next time, I'll make sure the merchant places them where I can reach them."

Diego nodded, as he tapped Felipe on the shoulder and gestured for him to get the wine, "It's not a problem Victoria, friends help each other." he replied with a smile, as he ignored the strange look the youth was giving him.

He had no doubts about what Felipe must be thinking; that he didn't need his help, that he was more than capable of helping Victoria himself, and if anything, Felipe would be wondering why he wasn't taking the opportunity to be alone with Victoria, no matter how innocent it was. And if it had been any other situation, he would enjoy helping Victoria, if only to make her see him in a different light but this was not one of those times.

Victoria smiled, "Yes, they do," she replied as she gazed around, "Oh Diego, can you get that one as well? The ones on the lower shelf behind you." she asked.

He turned and felt his heart sink at the knowledge that he would have to bend down to get the bottles; Felipe had already left with the other bottles, "Of course." he replied, as he prayed that he wouldn't embarrass himself in front of her. But as luck would have it, Victoria was called away before he had a chance to reach for the wine.

"Oh, excuse me Diego, I've got to go. Just get three bottles and bring them up." she said before she turned and left him there.

He let out a sigh of relief, if his trousers were to give way, at least it would happen in private. For a moment, he was unsure whether he should squat down or just reach for the bottles from a standing position and bending at the waist. Both actions carried risk but he reasoned that squatting down would be the riskiest move, so he carefully bent at the waist, stretching his arms downwards to grab the bottles Victoria wanted.

RIPPPP

He immediately straightened up, his hand going behind him as he both felt and heard the material in the seat of his trousers give way, in the most embarrassing way possible, "Madre di dios." he cursed as he felt the tips of his ears burn. What was he going to do now? He couldn't exactly return to the taproom of the tavern, without any one noticing his little accident. He couldn't call out to Felipe, without giving away the secret of his hearing and he wasn't going to call out for Victoria either.

But again luck seemed to be on his side, or at least for some of the time, when Felipe appeared in the doorway, looking concerned at his delay in returning before he signed.

Diego sighed, "I need your help, Felipe," he replied, "It's rather embarrassing but I need you to hurry back to hacienda and bring me my other blue suit. Just the trousers." he added.

Felipe frowned, not understanding.

Diego shook his head, "I've...um...well I've had an accident," he said, "The seam in my trousers has split."

Felipe's eyes widened in surprise, then amusement and he tried to cover up his laughter with a cough but not succeeding.

"It's not funny, Felipe," he retorted, "It's downright embarrassing, especially at my age -"

"Diego, are you all right?" Victoria's voice called out.

Diego closed his eyes for a moment, oh god, please don't let her come down here, "I'm fine Victoria, I'm just talking with Felipe," he called out as he reopened his eyes, "We're coming." he added, "Felipe, get those three bottles and take them upstairs."

Felipe couldn't stop grinning as he signed before he grabbed the bottles.

"I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't even mount up on Esperanza and ride home, it would make it worse. And besides, there are too many people around." Diego replied worriedly, as they made their way back to the taproom. The answer came to him, when he saw the nearest table to the doorway was vacant, "I'll stay here, Felipe," he said as he sat down with his back to the wall, "I can't go across the room like this." he added, well aware of his ears burning with embarrassment.

Felipe nodded as he placed the three bottles on the table and signed.

Diego shook his head, "Just tell my father that I'm getting a headache, which is the truth."

Felipe tried to hide his grin but he couldn't; it was too funny.

"Felipe." Diego warned in a low voice.

"Ah, there you are Diego," Victoria said, as she came up to them and picked up the bottles from the table, "Thank you both for helping me."

"You are most welcome, Victoria." Diego replied in a voice he hoped was normal. But obviously something showed in his voice or perhaps it was his burning ears, for she gazed intently at him.

"Are you all right, Diego? You seem a little flushed." she asked worriedly.

He sighed, "I have the beginning of headache." he confirmed, "Perhaps I can have a glass of water."

"Of course, I'll get it for you straight away." she replied as she moved back to the bar, carrying the bottles of wine.

Diego turned to Felipe, "You can wipe that smirk off your face Felipe," he said, "Now go home and bring my trousers back."

The youth gave a cheeky grin, knowing that Diego couldn't do anything about it, before he turned and left the tavern.

Victoria returned with a glass of water, "Here you go, Diego," she said as she placed the glass in front of him, "I hope you feel better soon."

He smiled, the first genuine one since he entered the tavern, "Gracias, Victoria."

She smiled back, "If you need anything else, please let me know." she offered before she turned and left him alone.

Diego let out long breath and hoped that no one would want his help and he could sit in peace. He picked up his glass of water and as he took a sip, his father's voice boomed out, "Diego, what are you doing over there, son."

He silently cursed, he hoped that his father wouldn't request his presence over at the table but luck was with him again, for the older man came to him, "Is there anything wrong, son. It's not like you to sit alone."

"I have a small headache father." he explained.

Don Alejandro sat down beside him, "I'm sorry to hear that," he replied as he gazed at his son, "You do look a little flushed. You're not coming down with a cold or anything."

Diego shrugged, "I am not sure, father." he said as he took another sip of water and prayed his father wouldn't want to leave.

Don Alejandro nodded, "Well, if you are, then you must take better care of yourself, if you wish to go to the cattle sales next week. Here, I was handed this by Sergeant Mendoza." he added as he pulled out a piece of paper from inside his jacket, "This shows the ranchos who are selling their cattle...Oh blast." he said as gust of wind came through the open door and tore the paper from his hand and it landed on the floor, behind his son.

As he leant down to pick it up from the floor, he noticed something strange about his son's attire, "Diego, your trousers..." he stopped as he straightened up in his seat and gazed at his now red faced son, "Oh no Diego, don't tell me you've split -"

"Father please, stop." he said in a strangled voice. He had never been so embarrassed in all of his twenty seven years, to have his father discover his accident was beyond embarrassment.

Don Alejandro tried to control his mirth, but the look on the younger man's face was too much, "Oh Diego, my son, you haven't split your trousers since you were a boy." he commented with a large grin, but at least his voice was low, so not to draw attention to them.

"Tell me something I don't know, father." Diego grumbled as he gripped the glass tight in his hand.

Don Alejandro shook his head, trying hard not to laugh at his son's predicament, "I thought you were going to hand those trousers over to be mended."

"I was but I never got around to it."

"I bet you are regretting that decision now." Don Alejandro chuckled and shook his head, "I guess you have sent Felipe back for another pair."

"Yes I have," he turned his gaze to his father, "Please don't tell anyone about this, it's embarrassing enough as it is, without the whole pueblo knowing about it."

Don Alejandro saw the plea in his son's eyes and nodded, "Of course I won't tell but you have to admit, it's funny for someone like you, who is very conscious of their clothing, to have a seam split apart."

Diego straightened in his seat, felt the material rip further, "I don't think it is funny at all, father."

Don Alejandro heard the irritation in Diego's voice and knew he had pushed him too far, "It's all right, Diego, it can happen to any of us. Do you want me to stay here with you, to keep you out of any further trouble."

Diego let out a long breath, to calm himself, "I would be most grateful, father, if you stayed."

Father and son sat talking about the upcoming cattle sales, the weather, Zorro and anything else to take his mind of his problem. The wait seemed like an eternity for Diego but at least he had the support of his father and he was grateful for it. He didn't know what he would have done it if the older man hadn't been there, for their appearance of talking quietly together, had kept everyone from approaching their table. Only Victoria approached to serve Don Alejandro his coffee.

But eventually, Don Alejandro saw Felipe standing by the rear entrance and he motioned to his son, "He's back."

Diego nodded and together they stood up, and while he took several steps backwards, his father shielded him from view until he made his way towards the rear entrance where the wine cellar was located. He gave Felipe a small smile as the youth held out another pair of trousers, "Thank you Felipe, I don't know what I would do without you."

Felipe grinned and signed.

"Yes, I would be in a lot of trouble." he said as he began changing his trousers, "I told father that I'm going home because of my headache but you can stay here, if you wish."

Meanwhile Victoria walked up to Don Alejandro as he stood beside the table, "Where's Diego?" she asked.

"Oh Diego has gone home, he has a terrible headache." he replied.

She nodded, "So he told me earlier. Will you tell him that I hope he feels better soon."

The older man smiled, "Of course I will." he replied.

Victoria smiled warmly before she moved away and passed through the curtains and into the kitchen, where she began giggling to herself. Little had Diego known that she had placed an old mirror in the wine cellar, some time ago, and positioned it in such a way so that she could see if anyone was in the cellar from the landing, without having to go down to find out. It was when she had called out to him, from the landing that she had noticed in the mirror reflection, the split in the seat of his trousers; a split he didn't want her to see.

"Oh Diego, Diego, just want until I tell our children about the day you split your trousers, in my tavern, of all places." she muttered to herself, causing another round of giggles.

The end

I hope you enjoyed this little light hearted story. I just couldn't resist it, I mean those trousers were nice and tight, an accident waiting to happen :)