Disclaimer: I don't own jack!

Summary: Of all the things in the world, Naraku never expected the Shikon to have such a twisted sense of humor.

Hell

He was in hell. This he knew without a shadow of a doubt. After decades of being the most feared demon in all of Japan, he was now forced to witness his own demise. Oh no, dying wasn't good enough for the Shikon Jewel. Once it became purified thanks to that reincarnation, it decided that he should be punished for his hand in wreaking havoc across the lands. Never mind the fact that half the jewel itself had begged him to do so. The moment he had awoken after being left in an abyss of darkness for ages on end, he had wished he hadn't. The ex-demon realized that he was small. Too small. Beady little eyes peered up at the tiny girl he recognized was the damned woman that condemned him to his fate. Her pudgy little face beamed as she scooped the furry creature into her little arms.

He remembered trying to summon a fierce growl to warn her away, but only managed a soft purr. A purr! Him! Demon of all demons! Kagura would have laughed in his face if she could see him now. Oh how the mighty have fallen. In his case, retribution for the crimes he committed in his past life came in the form of him being turned into this giant ball of fluff that meandered through the home of the miko who had killed him. Of all the wretched fates they could've bestowed upon him, the spirits of the jewel chose this one. Many years passed from that rude awakening and he had to slowly learn how to live again in this diminutive form. He'd get his revenge soon enough though.

His fur, now course and covered in filth, stood on end. He sunk low and allowed his muscles to coil in preparation. The soft sounds of prey scuttling about reverberated like an orchestra in his ears. His tail twitched in anticipation. A small creature, no taller than a few inches, poked its head out from under the bed. Black fur and crimson eyes peered cautiously around the darkness. It took a few timid steps then proceeded to become foolishly bold. Even in this form Naraku took pleasure in torturing and maiming his prey. Albeit most the of things he killed were pests that bothered his human 'owners', the activity itself was still just as pleasing as before his untimely death. In this new life he had sworn not to help her in any way at all costs. However the now ex-demon drew the line when the little bastards decided that his secret stash of catnip was theirs for the taking. A fanged, cat-like grin spread across his muzzle. It was nearly time.

The rat scuffled its feet in front of his hiding spot. It twisted its ears this way and that, scanning the area for any potential dangers. It took one last step. The feline leapt from his perch atop the desk and pounced on the creature. He dug its claws in his flesh and started to bat it around. The rat put up quite the fight. It tried to bury its fangs into his skin but only met air as he swiftly moved his paws and continued to bat it around. Several minutes went by of him pawing at the beast as it tried to escape. Its movements slowed and its ribcage heaved rapidly. Sensing that its death was near, the rat scrambled into a corner and bared its fangs at the cat. Naraku slowly trotted up to it. Gave a wicked, cheshire smile, and went for the kill.

The death was quick. He was always certain to make it a quick death at the end of his 'game'. Eyeing the body, Naraku quickly came up with a devious plan. The miko would be back from her adventures soon. If he hurried he could extract just a small portion of his revenge. He took the carcass between his teeth, jumped up on the horrendously pink covered bedding, and stealthily hid it underneath the sheets. He laid across the pillows and waited for her to return. Despite many years of lazing about the house, he still had his brief moments of energy. In this case it worked to his advantage. That damned woman would regret the day she ever crossed his path. If he had his demon body, he'd be laughing maniacally right now. That was one thing that he missed, other than the massive amount of power and being able to terrify all living things in close proximity.

Naraku flicked his tail back and forth. It'd been nearly a month. Where in the blazes was that damned female? He stopped that train of thought as quickly as possible. He would not end up like that idiotic half demon and wait for her loyally by that stupid well! He was not a dog dammit! He was the ruler of the world! Or at least he should have been. Regardless he had claimed ownership of the people here. Whether she'd believe it or not, that woman was now his bitch. When he demanded attention, she gave it to him. When he demanded food, she fed him. When he dropped dead things in her bed, she'd scream. Ah, just as things should be.

He pressed his furry face into his paws. The distinct sound of the young boy in the house called out to him. He pretended that he didn't hear him. Buyo, what kind of name was that to give a cat? He was not flabby when they first got him. So all the weight he gained was because they cursed him with that name. It was most certainly all their fault! I wasn't the fact that he couldn't control his appetite in this form. Nor could it possibly be because he often feasted on the dead carcasses of his kill after tormenting the miko with them. Oh no, it had to have been the priestess's fault. She and that boy both cursed him. Oh how the jewel must hate him so to bestow upon him a fate such as this. Woe was he.

Orange tipped ears pricked forward with the slamming of the front door. There was only one person that ever ran inside like it was the Kentucky derby and she was the first place winner.

"I'm home!" A familiar voice cried out enthusiastically.

His tail twitched again. He could just taste victory. It didn't take long for her to arrive. Kagome smiled brightly at the sight of her beloved, if somewhat flabby, cat sprawled comfortably across her bed. She gently massaged the top of his head with her fingertips. His pleased purr rumbled loudly through his through. Damn, wasn't there some way he could stop that? She expertly moved her hands up to his ears and slowly rubbed the appendages. 'Buyo' fell over on his side—nearly asleep. He had almost forgotten about his little 'present' when Kagome laid on the bed. She threw the yellow monstrosity that was her backpack on the ground unceremoniously. Turning her cobalt gaze towards her sleeping cat, she gave him a quick pat on the head before burying her face in what little space was left on her pillows.

The miko yawned loudly. It had been a long trip. They had fought three of Naraku's little demon hordes. They had only managed to collected a single shard before having it taken away yet again by the fiendish youkai. She swore, if she ever got her hands on him she'd strangle him before stringing his cadaver up for all to see from the Goshinboku. Buyo butted his cheek against her forehead. It was his secret language of saying 'bed time'. The priestess sighed and lifted the sheets. Unfortunately she didn't look before climbing in. Dark brows knitted together tightly. Sweat formed just above her temple. Something warm and furry that was definitely not her cat brushed against her exposed leg. A chill ran down her spine. No. Freaking. Way.

Naraku watched with delight as the teenager jumped out of bed and flung the pink flowered covers back. Inside the cocoon he masterfully created was the dead rat. She let out an ear-piercing scream. The temporary ringing in his ears was nothing compared to the pleasure he experienced watching her face contort in disgusted horror. Oh if only he could truly laugh in her face. Now then, on to his next plan of attack. Drop a dead rat on her face in the middle of the night? Or a dead bird in her backpack just before she heads off to school the next morning? Oh the things he could do to ruin her day.

Souta and their mother rushed upstairs. Fear and worry creased their expression. However it quickly faded to relief as they eyed the dead rat.

"I think you're his favorite." Fumiko joked as she used a dust bin to collect the body, "After all he gives you the most of his kills." Their mother nudged Kagome gently and continued, "They say cats sometimes give you their kill as a way of showing affection. Some might say that he has a thing for you."

The shikon miko was not impressed by that statement. Neither was Naraku for that matter. He didn't have an interest in her. He just enjoyed hearing her scream in terror. Was that too much for these simple minded humans? His dark eyes moved towards his current 'owner' and watched her expression sour.

"Are you trying to set me up with our cat?"

"Of course not dear! I just thought that it was sweet."

The rest of that evening remained uneventful. Despite plans to drop another dead animal in her bed, Naraku chose to sleep in. After all even he needed his rest. The next morning however would turn out to be much more dreadful than he would ever had hoped.

The ex-demon woke up fairly early. The sun was shinning, the birds were singing, and he was just about to kill one of the oblivious creatures when something caught his eye. Or rather when someone he thought dead reappeared before him. Just not in the way that he expected.

Souta rushed inside. He pounced on Kagome's bed and proceeded to violently shake her awake. "Get up! Get up! You gotta come look at this!" He yelled excitedly. She moaned in response and pulled the fresh sheets over her head. The priestess wasn't exactly thrilled by Naraku's little 'gift' and decided that the best course of action would be to replace the beddings. Unbeknownst to her, he already had plans to wake her up with the carcass of a dead bird that morning. Damned brat for ruining his plans!

"There's no school today Souta. Go back to bed." The teen whined. It was too early for this. She still needed to recover from several sleepless nights thanks to that half-demon she called a friend. He could be such a jerk! Now here she was, curled up in a ball, trying to sleep off her exhaustion like it was a hangover.

The boy shook her again. "Ka-go-meeee!" He whined, "There's a dog outside!" He tugged at her arm to no avail. The limb dropped to the ground lifelessly. It'd take a miracle to get her awake. Souta's expression darkened. There was only one thing left to do. He spotted 'Buyo' perched on the windowsill and grinned maliciously. Naraku watched in curiosity as the boy crept out of the room. The next time he returned he was holding something dark and plastic in his hand. Cat-like eyes brightened in twisted delight. Oh? The boy was going to take a page from his book? He was starting to like the kid more already.

"Kagome look out!" He screamed as he dropped the toy on top of her. It bounced off her nose and landed harmlessly next to her head. She jumped up and screamed. Her arms frantically flailed about as she tried to 'get rid' of whatever landed on her.

"GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" The disgraced priestess yelled in terror. She patted at her clothes and danced around the room like a fire had been lit under the pads of her feet. It took everything he had not to fall off his perch and onto a branch below the window. The plastic spider that Souta used was left lying on the bed. By the time the boy could breathe she had already spotted the item and started smacking her brother with whatever was nearby. In this particular case, it happened to be her pillows. The kid was quite lucky in his opinion. Naraku wasn't ashamed to admit that, for a human woman, her right hook packed quite a punch. Then again the one time she did smack him in his previous life she amplified it with her powers of purification. Took nearly a week for the burns to heal. His mood suddenly took a dark turn at the memory.

It'll be a minimum of ten more dead animal incidents before that one infraction would be considered avenged. However he wasn't so sure if he'd need to worry about that for too much longer. Orange fur bristled at the unwanted intruder. Naraku let out a furious hiss at the mongrel. He knew it. He just freaking knew it! That damned dog had managed to get reborn as well!

In the doorway to Kagome's bedroom a large, silver dog stood. Its chops were drawn back to expose a full set of deadly fangs. Its golden eyes were trained on the cat's form. Of course. Of all the idiots the jewel decided to bring back it'd be that one! Damn you Sesshoumaru! Naraku extended his claws and took a quick swipe at the ex dog demon. At the very least the shikon had the courtesy to give Sesshoumaru a body that wasn't completely embarrassing. But him? Oh no. It decided to stuff him in the body of a stupid cat! How was that fair? Sesshoumaru had killed just as much as he did back in his heyday!

Unfortunately he didn't have much time to dwell on the subject since the dog lunged for his throat at that moment. Naraku jumped up and landed safely in Kagome's arms. She shielded him protectively from the beast's rage and turned her eyes on Souta.

"What's going on here!" She growled, trying to use her leg to keep the dog away from her precious cat.

The younger boy corralled the canine as far away as best he could. "That was why I was trying to wake you up! Mom said we could keep him!" He grinned, his arms wrapping tightly around Sesshoumaru's neck. Said male growled and eyed the feline with distinct bloodlust. It was in that moment that Naraku knew without a shadow of a doubt that he was in hell.

A/n: First off, I do plan on making this a two shot. So the next chapter will be about how things go after Sesshoumaru is introduced into their family. The dynamics between them will be rather… complicated. This particular story occurs at a time when the quest for the jewel is going on but Naraku and Sesshoumaru themselves had already passed on at an earlier time and were then reborn. Naraku was reborn as Buyo while Sesshoumaru was reborn as a dog. I felt that I may have rushed it a bit at the end, so I'll more than likely be going over that here soon and making some changes. Anyways, sorry for taking so long. I have not abandoned my current stories. I've simply just had some things in my personal life that needed tending to. So don't worry, I'll probably be posting a new story here soon along with a few updates. As always, let me know what you think! I'm always up for a spirited debate and criticism for those who have questions and/or issues with something written here. Thanks so much and let me know what you think! ^_^