Well, this was certainly a huge shift coming off of Postlude, wasn't it? Going from super fluffy to super angsty was a tricky maneuver, by no stretch of the means, but I feel confident that I managed to pull it off without any major setbacks. Certainly, this was probably my toughest story to write, not just from a prose standpoint, but how much hurt I gave these characters. Believe me, there were some days where I was wondering if I was getting too dark with my writing…and then invariably some nutcase on this site would show up with some bizarre and totally unwarranted account about our favorite characters, making my fears entirely pointless.

I can definitely say that the initial inspiration for this story came from Absence of the Heart by The Sneaky Fox. Since that story went on hiatus some months ago, I decided to take a crack at the concept of having Shepard and Tali despise each other (leaving the forced marriage aspect safely behind) and see if I could avoid any negative publicity by trying to make all of the choices I wrote seem as rational as possible.

I think that by taking my time to write each chapter instead of blindly pushing through them one at a time helped my writing immensely. Also, I managed to create a much more developed conflict between Shepard and Tali when my previous iterations have been more flat and stale. Make no mistake, I felt that this was much better written than my previous works.

Chapter 1:

It took me a good long while to come up with a suitable reason for our two main characters to blindly hate each other. It must have taken me about a good hour before I could finally shape my outline around the concept, it was that difficult.

As sort of a nod to the Max Payne series, I wanted to experiment with the concept of Shepard taking painkillers to alleviate the loss of Tali in this story, touching on the topic of addiction. In the way, this proved to be a blessing because taking the drugs gave a good explanation of how Shepard's ability to make rational decisions throughout this story was so nullified, extending the conflict and thereby avoiding the cliché of acting like a child, because those drugs were supposed to make him act that way. It helped as a descriptor for why Shepard was behaving more renegade instead of a straight paragon in this case.

Also, I personally love the idea of mental demons coming to torment people in stories. It helps give us a better sense of who the characters really are underneath and their battles become more personal and more tragic. Saren was Shepard's most direct rival and I wanted him to be the one to share in the commander's torment. It was also a good way for me to describe Shepard's current train of thought to the audience instead of having text bubbles pop up on the screen. I think that this was a better alternative.

As per my usual methodology, I get a lot of inspiration from listening to music when trying to construct certain scenes. I find it to be really helpful with my writing and I like sharing the specific pieces that I based my work on in order to set the appropriate mood.

Playlist:

Calamity Main Titles: "April, 1945" by Steven Price from the film Fury. The chanting vocals in the background give a creepy vibe and do well representing the voices in Shepard's head.

Tali Leaves: "Inferno" by Hans Zimmer from the film Rush. I think that the intense strings and electronics bring a dark and brooding edge to the scene.

Chapter 2:

I didn't go into too much detail over most of the missions because I either didn't know how to make them different in a way that would affect the overall story and also because I had already detailed them in a previous story a few months ago. I decided to streamline them extensively and apparently no one minded.

In addition to showing that Shepard was pretty much lost to drink and pills, I used the opportunity to introduce Tali and have her internal demon laid out to the audience. Since she had been living in her father's shadow for most of her life, I had a last minute idea to use Rael as her tormentor. This in turn gave a different sort of conflict than the Shepard-Saren one. Here, it was a daughter trying not to disappoint her father after her emotions had been so thoroughly shattered.

The next few chapters, on the other hand, would be effectively Tali-less which would mean that I suffered more boredom when writing them. Glad I stuck with it, otherwise I wouldn't have been more motivated from the audience's shock and horror.

Playlist:

Saren Speaks: "Fabiana" by HEALTH from the video game Max Payne 3. HEALTH's score to that game is a very trippy experience that tries to emulate the effect of drugs on the brain. No way I couldn't let that influence my choices in this story.

Chapter 3:

Case in point, it's really hard in trying to make a scene that had been covered in countless fics before unique. I just mustered through Tuchanka, bumped off Mordin, and gave some more time for Shepard to spend with Saren.

I'd say more but there isn't really anything else I can elaborate on in this chapter.

Playlist:

Shoot Mordin: "Cordis Die" by Jack Wall from the video game Call of Duty: Black Ops II

Chapter 4:

Tali's conversation with Rael was meant to hammer in the point of her hating Shepard so that the audience would feel that there was a definite rift between the two. Of course, I sprinkled in some doubt to give readers a glimmer of hope, which I guess means that I operated by the Bane standard of torturing people by poising their soul by feeding them hope. Oops?

This chapter would have been nothing special but I did introduce the concept of soldiers using exoskeletons in this story. I'm sure they seemed rather unnecessary at the time, but considering the potential they had, I was going to utilize them to the fullest but I had to present the idea to you guys so that it wouldn't seem so forced when the crucial moment came.

Playlist:

Battle With the Exos: "Stahl Arms – The Icesaw Chase" by Joris de Man from the video game Killzone 3

Chapter 5:

Ho ho! Oh man, I'm actually quite envious of all of you because, having planned out the story beforehand, I will never have gotten to know just how downtrodden this story made you feel. Based on some of the reviews I got, I legitimately felt that I was making people cry (itself perhaps an exaggeration) which in turn made me laugh like a sadist.

I guess that was because I thoroughly enjoyed this chapter for it brought Shepard and Tali back in contact with the other, with some inevitable friction, naturally. And I relished the chance by having you all think I was going to make Shepard (him, mainly) go into rebound with that other girl. I did warn you about the heart attacks didn't I?

There are just some things regarding Shepard and Tali romances that are off limits to all but the most talented of writers (of which I certainly do not qualify). A few examples of what would be considered taboo is that you do not have Shepard beat Tali (itself including rape), kill her (a given), or rebound on her. I intentionally made it seem like Shepard was going to have sex with another woman but I made certain to pull out (heh…heh) at the last moment, saving myself from your ire. (Perhaps it was a jab?)

I say again, I will be envious of the roller coaster of emotions that some of you described that I was unable to feel. That's probably the biggest downside of writing, everything's spoiled for you.

Playlist:

Frosty Meeting: "Good Lord Indeed, Mr. David" by Matteo Zingales, Michael Lira, and Andrew Lancaster from the film The Hunter.

Club/Shepard Refuses Rachael: "Hammer" by Clint Mansell from the film Drive.

Chapter 6:

Well, I said that you couldn't have Shepard beat up Tali, but in no way did I say that he couldn't beat up Garrus. As the drugs amplify unstable emotions, I wanted to have Shepard start lashing out at more people, namely his best friend on the ship. I'm not sure if that sort of thing has been attempted before by another author so I'm just going to remain mum on its exclusivity for now (it probably isn't.)

And, of course, Shepard almost hitting Tali was a direct reference to the rule that I had set in place. It helped as a reminder that I was not willing to take the story to that sort of extreme, which would probably have been a seriously bad idea if I had gone through with it. Come on, did you really think that I would let Shepard hit Tali? I mean, it's Tali we're talking about here.

Playlist:

Shepard Talks With/Hits Garrus: "Heat" by Brian Tyler from the video game Far Cry 3.

Tali Confronts Shepard: "Wardaddy" by Steven Price from the film Fury.

Chapter 7:

I didn't change much for the Rannoch arc, other than Tali was the one to prevent the geth or the quarians from being annihilated. I thought that I hadn't given Tali much to do thus far and wrote the part for her to be the one to make the fateful decision. I believe it was a nice way to further develop her arc and let Shepard step aside so that he wouldn't be the focus at that point.

After that, the rest of the chapters would be a little more original in terms of content (well…mostly) so I was happy I at least got to significantly change one thing for this mission.

Playlist:

Dreadnought: "The Vex" by Martin O'Donnell and Michael Salvatori from the video game Destiny.

Tali Talks the Admirals Down: "Emma" by Steven Price from the film Fury. I personally love this piece to death and it has a nice romantic appeal that is definitely deserving of Tali.

Chapter 8:

This chapter was more or less a setup for the next one, simply taking the time for Shepard and Tali to calm down after the events on Rannoch. I didn't want to jump into the next scene so soon because I wanted the characters to breathe for a chapter so that their future can be hinted upon, mercilessly teasing the audience with a happy ending.

…And then the next chapter came along, thoroughly derailing that notion.

Playlist:

A Tense Recollection Between Old Lovers: "See You in Four" by Cliff Martinez from the film Drive.

Chapter 9:

Having Tali introduce herself in this chapter was probably the most satisfying thing that I wrote in this story. By having her punch Rachael's lights out gave her a more badass edge that I continued to draw from her in subsequent chapters.

And then the Thessia arc came. Just to clarify, yes the whole sequence was intended as an homage to Razor's Edge and that I definitely was aware of it once writing. But I personally feel that I changed enough of the situation to make it feel like less of a rip-off by switching the locale, the enemies, and hell, the character affected. In any case, having Shepard believe Tali was dead was a good catalyst for him to abandon his feigned hatred for Tali, allowing him to tell her how he really felt. It seemed like an appropriate way to end the stupid conflict, but added a new one with their separation when Tali fell to the bottom of the temple. Which was probably a good decision because my original outline had Shepard falling down rather than Tali. Then I'd wager the plagiarism accusations would be more warranted.

And…oh, man. The outcry…the pure horror coming from all of you thinking that I had killed Tali. It…was… glorious. All of your reactions were simply brilliant which made me realize that I firmly had your attention, thereby putting more pressure on me not to screw anything up. I hope that you weren't disappointed at the very least.

Playlist:

Thessia Battle/Fall: "Tiger Battle" by Steven Price from the film Fury. Just listen to this piece and I think you'll find its intense and frantic nature suitable for the scene written. Damn, if only I knew how to compose music…

Chapter 10:

I think you guys actually cared more about Tali being alive than Shepard fighting off indoctrination…

All joking aside, I love the concepts of battles in the mind. It allows me to be a little more elaborate and inventive with how the characters react, giving us a little more insight into Shepard and Tali. It was intense, writing the both of them stave off their demons and resisting the temptation of indoctrination. I wanted to have a better explanation for why their figures were manifesting themselves that wasn't due to a "broken mind." Since indoctrination was a viable concept, I decided to use it for my own purposes. One could say that it is taking a leaf out of the Indoctrination Theory, but only a very small one. Besides, it had little to no bearing on the actual ending being a dream or not. What mattered at the moment was what was happening with Shepard and Tali right now.

Reader rangersleadtheway helpfully reminded me of the picture's existence when I had blotted it from my memory. Rather than have a stupid photo be revealed to the reader, I thought a video message might be more touching. It made more sense than that blasted picture ever did…

Now that I'm looking back, I would have liked to include a few more scenes involving Tali's mother as I feel that has the potential for several interesting confrontations, given Rael's soreness of the subject. Ah well, maybe one of you can take a crack at it. I'm doubtful I'll get to it.

But…on a scale from 1 to 10, how relieved were you at Tali being alive?

Playlist:

Departing the Indoctrinated Dream: "Stay" by Hans Zimmer from the film Interstellar. As soon as I saw this film, I knew that this piece would be perfect for the dream sequence I had planned. Hopefully you agree.

Tali Wakes: "Relic of Hope" by Martin O'Donnell and Michael Salvatori from the video game Destiny.

Chapter 11:

Wow, I sure threw a lot of shit at Tali this go-around, huh?

But this was only the start of her badass streak, showing that Tali's not around this story to stand in the corner and cry. I hate the trope of the helpless female and I wanted to make sure that Tali gets some excellent moments in there. Just having her slit a few throats, brutally stab people, and do it all whilst severely injured doesn't seem like a far stretch for her character. We all know that if Tali wants something done, she is committed to the full.

Playlist:

Tali Climbs Out: "Resurrection" by John Debney from the film The Passion of the Christ. Yeah, yeah, it's an unsubtle pairing but I just wanted to use something other than Hans Zimmer's music for The Dark Knight Rises. This is a more than suitable alternative.

Chapter 12:

Ah-ha! Now you know why I included exoskeletons in this story.

Tali storming the Cerberus base by herself made sense, although she'd be severely outgunned if it was just her in her current state. To have her toting an exoskeleton made her hell on two legs, taking into account that they possess the armaments of a modern day tank crammed into a small area. I would've loved to have seen that happen in the games.

Makes you wonder what concepts they have planned for Mass Effect 4.

Playlist:

Tali Arrives Armored: "The Final Battle Begins" by Tyler Bates from the film Guardians of the Galaxy.

Shepard's Turn with the Turret: "Tears" by HEALTH from the video game Max Payne 3. I'd encourage you to look up the lyrics and tell me that they don't describe Shepard's state of mind perfectly. The haunting vocals about letting go loved ones kind of seems sinister if you consider that to be the voice of indoctrination.

Kai Leng's Final Act: "Max: Finale" by HEALTH from the video game Max Payne 3. The distorted chords continue, making this one battle very tense.

Chapter 13:

I just have to say this: I'm done writing any more of these scenes.

Yes, I realize that there is a perfectly logical reason for Shepard and Tali having sex at this point in the story, it makes a certain amount of sense. However, I don't want to be tied down thinking that I have to include at least one of these damn scenes in every story that I write. I will state that I'm going to do my next project without any extended depictions of sex whatsoever.

Sorry about that, it's just that I'm tired of writing scenes like this, even when they turn out to be perfectly fine. I mean, it's not like this one was particularly graphic compared to what could have been written. It certainly was a little more raw than anything I've ever written and it certainly did its designed purpose in showing that Shepard and Tali are back together again. But it was at this point that I felt that I didn't think that I could do this another time.

…But it was a relief to get back to the fluff.

Playlist:

Confirmation: "Solace" by Neil Davidge from the video game Halo 4.

Epilogue:

My outline for this final chapter went through a complete rewrite near the end as I was unsure of how I wanted to approach the topic. My first draft still focused on Garrus but it would have begun with him standing at Shepard and Tali's graves. He would have had a one-sided conversation with the headstones and Shepard and Tali could have served as Garrus' own demons, but comforting him instead of tormenting him.

This was bad for a few reasons in that I found myself asking more questions than I could answer when the time to write this approached, and also the existence of Shepard and Tali as ghosts to Garrus made no sense when it had been previously established that any manifestations were a result of Reaper indoctrination so they shouldn't have been able to exist after they were destroyed. Plus, I had also planned to have Garrus find his eyepiece somewhere in the graveyard but I could never find a suitable situation to accomplish that. In the end, I changed the setting and the resulting chapter unintentionally ended up as sort of a nod to You Came Back to Me.

The reason why I ended the story here instead of describing the final battle was simple. All throughout An Interval of Calamity, the Reapers weren't the main villain, Shepard and Tali were. Theirs was the conflict that was the focus of the story in that nothing else mattered, the war just served as a backdrop in this situation. Also, I didn't want to describe the confrontation in the Citadel for a third freaking time. Twice is enough, guys. I'd be tearing my hair out otherwise.

But by doing this, I still left some questions unanswered that were left that way when I cut the epilogue off when I did. My own personal take on the situation on why Shepard and Tali were never found is that they survived the explosion on the Citadel, used the chaos of the war to escape to a quiet location and spent the last two months healing their broken relationship further. To add more detail, I frankly don't think it matters. Is it a little jarring? I'd probably concede your point, but I didn't want to have an ending where everything was nicely wrapped up, seeing as this story was super dark for the majority and to have everything resolved would have been a little too convenient, a little too hopeful. This way, you're left wanting more, but can still feel content knowing that the main conflict has been resolved.

But, that's my interpretation and you're certainly allowed to have another. I just hope that the entire presentation was cohesive and enjoyable for all of you to sit through.

Playlist:

Hospital Bed: "Norman" by Steven Price from the film Fury.

Credits (Reprise): "Tears" by HEALTH from the video game Max Payne 3.

Calamity Suite: "Advanced Soldier Overture" by Harry Gregson-Williams from the video game Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare.

So, with Interval of Calamity now finished, I will take about a month to relax, as Christmas is coming around the corner, before I start off on my next project. Before I go on, you can now find me on Xbox Live (now that I've got a One) putzing around on Destiny, GTA V, or Halo: MCC if you want to hang out (Gamertag: SpyreTZ). I'll be spending a little time catching up on all the video games I've missed by writing this damn thing, grabbing a few more ideas along the way.

For my next outing, I'm going to be tackling the period between ME1 and ME2 to serve as the setting, a timeframe I have not written for, thus far. This will be more AU but it will still feature Shepard and Tali as the main characters (although their relationship won't be as heavily developed due to the timing of the story…maybe as just a really good friendship?)

The story will feature the two heroes fighting for survival on a dangerous planet in the middle of their mission to track down the last of the geth forces after the attack on the Citadel (before Shepard gets spaced). They will be cut off from the Normandy, all alone on a planet where everything wants to kill them. I will also be creating a new villain, one who is going to be very, very nasty. This new bad guy, if my initial planning is to be believed, will certainly be one of the most sinister and dastardly villains I've written thus far, and I'm rather exited to develop more of him.

I'm keeping this relatively vague as I don't want to spoil anything…and partly because I haven't written an outline yet (and maybe to prevent myself from overhyping this thing). But rest assured, production should commence next month once the holiday festivities have calmed down. Unless stated otherwise, prepare for The Disengaged to debut then.

Thank you once again for reading An Interval of Calamity and I'll see you when I see you. It was my pleasure.

-Rob