A/N Sorry it has been a while, school craziness. This update is pretty heart breaking and will catch us up to the present day and take us out of the three consecutive chapters of history. Remember the italics are flashback and the end in non italicized is present.

I also really appreciate any reviews!

7 Years Ago

Every spare moment is spent together for the rest of the summer. Innocent kisses mingled with laughter, affection that was sweet and perfect, not rushing into anything we may later regret.

Nights we spent wrapped in each other's arms and noses nuzzled under chins. I spend less nights gambling and drinking and more days at the church just to be near her. This makes the town see Regina as nothing short of a miracle worker, reforming Emma Nolan was a feat no one had been able to manage not even my parents.

We continue to ignore Regina's upcoming departure and instead revel in each stolen moment. But it's late August and though I try to not keep a countdown the number is etched into my brain: 2 weeks. Fourteen Days. 840 minutes.

Her mother has yet to send any details and I'm hoping the words never find their way and that she can instead stay forever. Though that wish is unfeasible there have been whispers and promises in the night of a return.

We each have one year of schooling left at our respective schools. Regina has spoken to Belle and my mother of moving to Storybrooke to be a teacher. Even Mr. Gold said he would try and persuade Cora, that he could set Regina up on the "right side of town" if she so wishes.

Fingers crossed, prayers made into the night, dandelions blown, and a million wishes on a million stars enforce the want of a future that is ours.

…

I drag Regina through the middle of town possessed by my newest thought, one last thing that we must do before she leaves. We come to a stop in front of the very tree where our first words were spoken.

"A few years ago, I told you this was my tree and you said to make my claim my name needed to be written on it." I look to Regina expectantly to see if she catching on.

"Yes…" she replied confused brown scrunching

"Well this, you and me I want to put my claim on it, and there is not better spot than right here."

"Oh Emma it's perfect!" she exclaims, throwing her arms around my shoulders.

With knife in hand I begin to carve the name Regina into the trunk, deep so that it will be easily spotted. I pass the knife to Regina her hand shaking; she elegantly carves my name next to hers. No hearts or arrows or forever because they are not needed this is for us, a permanent place to ingrain our forever.

Regina runs her fingers over the curves of each letter "It wont be long until I see these words again" A promise, once again made, a wish that can only be fulfilled if it is released into the universe.

…

There have been words itching at the back of my throat that have been urging their way forward with each second that I behold her beauty. I felt powerless to stop them; deeper and stronger than anything I had felt before.

The night air was heavy with humidity and impossibly still, the sky open, moon shining bright, the fireflies danced all around as we lay out in the tall grass by the river. Neither one of us had spoken a word, shoulder touching shoulder, fingers intertwined.

I could feel her pulse in time with my own, steadily drumming between our joined hands, slightly faster than normal. But that's what it was like to be with Regina, constantly warm and tingly, heart beating fast, joy spilling over and no way to suppress the emotional overload.

Regina squeezed my hand like she knew my thoughts were racing and was just urging me to release them.

"Regina, I gotta tell you something."

"Hmm" she replies completely relaxed, content

"This may be stupid and I know we talk about you coming back here and all, and we're best friends and like spending time together and well we hold hands and we kiss…"

I could feel myself blushing because we never really did talk about it and just thinking about Regina's lips made my ears get hot.

I turn to look her in the eyes and her once drooping eyes are now alert and shining.

"I know we don't tell people and that we're real young but Regina I gotta tell you because I'm always thinking it and it's so real for me, I love you."

She smiles and her eyes get glassy and she leans over to give me a kiss.

"I know Emma."

"You do?" I asked, not knowing if she thought of this as serious as I did.

"Yes Emma I love you too, no matter what anyone else thinks." She moves her hand up to my chest until it rests over my heart.

"The only thing I need in this world is right here, your heart, and your love is everything."

She lays her head on my chest and we wake the next day in the same place, words of love buzzing through the air. Unspoken words voiced, promises secured in words of love, assurance that it's all real and good and strong.

…

A week later I'm lounging in my room when a soft knock is sounded on my door.

"Emma, Regina is here to see you." But I can tell something is off my mother's voice isn't as boisterous and normally Regina would walk right in, so I answer the door confused unsure of what awaits on the other side.

The door swings open and my mother looks apologetic, sad almost and she steps out the way and proceeds down the hallway.

Regina is standing pressed against the wall as if she can't stand on her own, with tears streaming down her face but not making a sound, arms wrapped around her middle like they're trying to keep her together. Her tears are big and fat and rolling, cleaning the makeup that is not usually present off her face.

"Regina?" I step towards her wary and confused. Her body falls into my arms engulfing me, taking both of us to our knees.

"Emma" she whispers over and over each time more broken. Fifteen full minutes pass until she sits and begins to wipe her tears away.

"Regina what's going on?" Her eyes search my face, more than that they linger too long, like putting it to memory and my question goes unanswered for longer than comfortable.

"Let's move into your room. Can I use you wash basin to clean myself up a bit?" she responds

We move into my room and in silence she cleans herself up, picking up all her broken pieces, meticulously wiping at her face and when she turns she is a new girl: all traces of her breakdown almost imperceptible.

"Regina whatever it is, you can tell me, we'll figure it out." I beg her with my eyes to tell my what was happening, why I felt like I was standing on the track of an oncoming train.

"I'm leaving Emma." Cold and callous, there is no emotion behind these words her eyes search the room looking near my face but not exactly at it.

"I know but we still have a whole week, did your mom finally send word about going back to school?" Questions, digging for an answer to the emotionless being in front of me.

"No, I'm leaving tomorrow." Regina responds still avoiding my eyes.

"What, I thought we had time?! I mean is this what you were upset about? It's okay we can spend the rest of the evening together and then we can write each other and you'll be back before you know it!" I'm rambling trying to make the best of an awful situation, a whole 7 days stolen away.

" Emma," her voice cracks and then becomes hard once more "Mother has written to me and she wishes for my last weeks of the summer to begin my introduction into society."

"So what exactly does that mean Regina?" I could tell this was more than just a few weeks of fancy parties, it meant so much more.

"It means that I will start being introduced to potential suitors, mother believes it is time for me to begin to consider marriage. I don't think I will be coming back to Storybrooke." Each word calculated, precise, barely holding her together. I couldn't understand why she wouldn't want me to know how she was feeling.

This is when the dam began to break my worry turned into devastating anxiety, abandonment, and fear of losing the one thing that made me feel anything. Words wouldn't come forth and she seemed to have nothing more to offer.

"But-but you promised, we promised…" I choke out, my heart pounding and not for its usual reason. "Why would you want to look at any of these uhhh-suitors?"

"Because I have to marry, have a man love me and be a proper woman in society, and a proper woman according to mother does not need a job but a husband." This time she dares to look me in the eye and I shatter to pieces because these aren't the glimmering eyes of a girl in love that I had grown to know.

"I love you" I stated "You don't need a man to love you because I love you" my voice growing loud and angry, yelling, desperate "You love me, we're enough, you love me, you're coming back to me." My words tearing through the air vicious, broken, and portraying my all-encompassing need.

"Emma, I'm going to marry I have to." She mentions nothing of our love, no denying but also no confirmation, nothing like the words I've heard over the last month.

"No, no, no you love me- you know you do" My words are quickly turning from anger, and with every confirmation of her betrayal, turning to hate.

I don't know what intimidated her what made her change her mind and put up defenses, we knew our future would be a hard one not one that everyone would accept, but we always said that having each other was enough.

"You can't listen to your mother Regina or what your Boston society wants, we're enough remember just me and you, you have my heart all of it you know it, it's yours no matter what." I was crying, bending in half, falling to my knees, prepared to beg and plead.

" But I do care what society thinks and they want me to marry," she states resolutely. I was done, she was breaking our promise and there was nothing more for me here. All I felt was pure fire, her words felt like a denial of everything we ever said or felt.

I looked up from my broken place on the ground.

"Get out." I said in a tone that Regina had never heard, harsh and unflinching.

Her faced was shocked, close to breaking; she didn't move a hair and this made me furious. I stood, gathering all the little broken pieces along the way.

"Go, leave, I hate you" I was suffering, it all felt unbearable, building to a yell once again "I hate you…" I yelled, filling the room.

She moved to touch my shoulders as tears overwhelmed my face "Don't touch me, I hate you and I never want to see you again, just leave" tearing her hands away from my body and pushing her back.

"Em-"

"No- you did this, I can't look at you," I yell.

"Please just, I'm sorry" she tries almost begging, seeing me this way is defeating her as well. She thought putting feelings aside would make this easier, there was no getting around her mother.

"Did you not hear me? I said leave!" I pick up a glass dish from the bureau and throw it at the wall, scattering into hundreds of tiny pieces like the two people in this room.

She runs from the room and the last thing I see is her back retreating before I tear apart my room, leaving nothing untouched, desperation, anguish, all consuming fury is all I can recognize until it simmers into a numbness and haze that never seems to dissipate even for years to come.

…

A large part of me knew it was all for show, she was being forced away and didn't know how to deal or cope. The hopes she had were torn from her without a second glance. But a part of me could not overcome the doubt, the fear that it all meant nothing to her that the dreams she had with me and Storybrooke she didn't really need so she was leaving them behind. Every whispered wish and every promise's worth extending no further than the one second they were said aloud.

But something, the whole of me that loved her, the part that was desperate to say- no had to say goodbye, drug me to her window.

I pulled myself onto the roof and up to her window, which unlike normal was open. That open window alone indicated the part of her that wished to stay to love me, subconscious or not that window was left open for me.

I pulled my body through the window as quiet as possible, I didn't come to speak or to seek forgiveness. She had her chance to soak me in one last time. I spent hours just staring at her face, reveling in her smell, holding myself back from waking her up with a kiss.

When fingertips of light ghosted across the room, I turned my back and left, no turning back and no indication that I had ever come.

I ran, I ran straight into the woods, to the river and into the arms of Jack Daniels who would rock me into a calm and lull me to a blissful dead to the world sleep.

And when I awoke there no light or sound, there was nothing but numbness in my soul and a stone feeling in my gut that I may never see her face again.

...

How could she be here in Storybrooke. I had spent years trying to write her off as a childhood crush, to believe that I was born with this numbness and that it wasn't due to her. Yet from the moment my senses were filled with her once again the world came alive and even Ruby and a bottle of whiskey couldn't stop the aching near my ribs and the desperate rhythm resounding that said: love me, love me, love me.