A/N: Hello, people! Thanks for the great response to this fic.

I don't own Durarara.

I have no beta.

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Celty Sturluson was watching a documentary on aliens, when Shinra - her lover- walked into the room.

"Hey, Celty!" he grinned, always happy to see her.

She waved and reached for her PDA that was resting on the coffee table. She typed out a message and held it up for his perusal.

He leaned over, shifting his glasses higher on the bridge of his nose.

"Really?!" he stepped back in shock. "Izaya really did that all to ask for a date?"

{I think he was aiming for coming across as a hero of some sort. I was supposed to escort Shizuka to him after rescuing him from the gang. It didn't work out that way.}

Shinra stared for a second, before gasping. "What if Izaya fell for the female Shizuo!"

{I thought Izaya as gay.}

"He is. But I always thought their little squabbles and talks had more meaning to them. Maybe since Shizuo doesn't look like himself, but still acts like himself, Izaya is attracted. I don't think Izaya would ever admit to being attracted to Shizuo, but Shizuka..."

Celty shrugged.

{Well, Shizuo forgave him in return for the key and some food, so at least he made a little headway.}

Shinra laughed, "Izaya has never dated before, so it'll be fun to watch his bumblings."

The Dullahan nodded and returned to her program.

Shizuka hadn't seen the flea in a week, not that he was complaining or anything.

"Zuka-chan!~"

He should have kept his damn thoughts to himself!

"Hn."

"This is for you!~"

Izaya shoved a bright pink bag in his face and Shizuka had to withhold the urge to gag. It was too bright. Too sparkly too. Ugh.

He took it carefully, pinching the top with only two fingers, as if afraid it would attack him. He gingerly peered inside and cocked a brow. What the hell was he going to do with that?

He looked to the flea, to see the idiot watching him expectantly.

It was pink, oblong, and severely bejeweled. It was hideous.

He took the iPhone 5 from the bag and openly stared at it.

"Let me guess, there's a chip in here that will allow you to stalk me from afar. Or you'll be able to locate me through my email or something."

He'd seen those shows. He knew what technology could do. And he was not interested.

Shizuka placed the phone back in the bag and handed it to Izaya, who was gaping.

"Thanks, but I don't do stalking and I don't need a phone. Nor one that's pink," he sneered.

He began walking away, intent on making his way to Russia Sushi for lunch.

He wasn't expecting Izaya to how up half an hour later, with a different bag, holding a different colored mobile.

"I won't stalk you," the flea stated simply as he sat across from Shizuka, caging him in once more, the ex-bartender noted.

"Can I really count on your word?" Shizuka asked after stuffing some ootoro in his mouth. "You're known to take the best price and all that shit. What do you get out of giving me a phone and not stalking my life with it?"

Izaya smiled and stole a piece of ootoro from Shizuka's plate.

"Well, Zuka-chan, I've managed to accrue some information about you from simple observation. I hope that the more we get to know each other, you'll be willing to part with more information!~" Izaya smiled.

Shizuka was interested, which usually wasn't a good thing. He sat back and looked Izaya over behind his sunglasses. "And what do you know?"

Izaya leaned back as well, situating one leg over the other, assuming a posture that Shizuka recognized. Something that higher ups took on to make themselves seem more powerful. And the smirk that the flea was giving him made a chill run down his spine. From being creeped out. Definitely.

Crimson eyes shone with a glint that made Izaya seem more threatening than previously assumed.

"Well, I know you are between the ages of twenty-three and twenty-five. You like sunlight, candy, and chocolate pudding. You've only hated milk until recently. You don't like alcohol. You know Parkour though it's a bit rusty in application. You are stronger than normal people and have rather strong morals, especially since you flushed fifty thousand dollars in Meth, without a second thought."

Meth.

The bag was filled with Meth.

He was so glad he got rid of it. But that didn't mean he had super morals. It meant that he didn't want to get landed in jail because of the flea's actions.

"You're also very tolerant," Izaya smiled.

Not really.

"And nice."

Definitely not.

"And even I have to admit that you're rather lovely."

Suuuure. Wait, what?

His confusion must have shown, because Izaya was reduced to laughter and tears. "Zuka-chan, until I met you, I was certain that I was gay and would never be interested in women. And yet look at me now."

The flea was gay! He knew it!

And yet, the whole following Shizuka - whom he thought was a girl - around, was not the mark of a gay man. And he said something about not liking girls until he met… Shizuka.

Fuck.

Of course Izaya was the sick kind of twisted that fell for his enemy, without knowing it was his enemy.

Shizuka stared at the informant, wondering how the hell he was going to get out of this. He was still a man. And he was pretty certain he'd never been interested in anyone before. And he was not about to sleep with the enemy. Fuck no.

The two stared at each other. Izaya looked to be waiting for something and Shizuka was trying to think of a way to get out of it all.

"I knew you were gay."

That was the best he could come up with at present.

Izaya smiled that creepy, all knowing shit grin of his. "Not anymore Zuka-chan. It seems that I'm Bisexual now. How interesting for me."

"Good for you," Shizuka mumbled, "Hope you find someone you like, I guess."

What the hell do you say when the flea of all people confesses his sexuality to you?

"I'm working on her. She seems to be a bit slow though," Izaya smirked.

"Oi! I'm not slow, I'm just not interested, asshole!"

Well, fuck.

Izaya was leaning across the table then, hand slowly circling around Shizuka's wrist. "Zuka-chan, I can achieve anything so long as I put my mind to it.~ And I will not simply give up just because you are being stubborn."

He slapped something on the table and stood. "See you later!~"

Shizuka stared for a moment, before realizing that Izaya had left money to pay for the 'monster's' food. If he thought that was going to work, he would surely be sore to find out that that was not the case.

And the phone was left there as well.

Persistent bastard.

"Celty, he admitted he's coming on to me. What the hell do I do?"

{I know you may not think so, but Izaya isn't so bad of a person. Perhaps he just really likes you.}

"No, he likes a figment that doesn't truly exist."

{You exist. You even said yourself that he admitted to not hating you at all. That must mean something!}

"Celty, I'm not interested in the flea. I just want to go back to normal and live life like I used to."

Not true. He kind of liked the significant lack of danger. People didn't know he was Shizuo Heiwajima. Life was a bit easier to deal with. But he couldn't really connect with the other people in his life because of his… affliction. Which was a bit worse than his former affliction.

{I don't know what to tell you, Shizuka.}

"And I have no idea what to do."

Nakura: I heard that Izaya Orihara seeing someone!~

Yolo: What?! Someone actually is willing to get close to him? He's no better than Heiwajima.

Yolo: Whoever they are, they must be insane.

Himeo: Not really.

Himeo: Maybe he's finally found someone to see him for who he really is.

Yolo: You're a hopeless romantic.

Yolo: Orihara is just as much a monster as Heiwajima is. Maybe even worse, since he sets all the problems up.

Yolo: There is no good in him.

Nakura: I agree with Hime-chan!~

Nakura: Maybe Izaya Orihara finally has something he cares about besides humans?

Himeo: It's possible.

Himeo: I hope it works out for him.

Yolo: You both are nuts. Orihara has no heart and never will have one.

Nakura: In your opinion.

Nakura: Gotta go! See ya!~

~Nakura has left the chat~

Izaya sat back in his swivel chair and sighed.

He had lied, but he was hoping to make it truth soon.

Izaya was going through a difficult time, because he didn't know how to woo women. Men were much easier to please… or blackmail, whichever worked at the moment.

Shizuka wasn't normal. She didn't react like other women did. And she apparently didn't like pink like most of the girls in Ikebukuro did. so buying her pink things was out.

He could get her a lifetime supply of candy. She sometimes carried bags of it around and simply ate it. Pudding too.

She knew he was manipulative. She knew he could put on a mask in seconds and outfox anyone. She was not fooled. He had to be honest.

This had never happened before.

Sure, there was Shinara, Kida, Dota-chin, and many, many others who knew what he was like. And the only person who had mattered before in terms of sort of liking, was Shizu-chan. But he wasn't trying to gain their positive attentions. He messed with them.

But Zuka-chan, she was a mystery wrapped in confusion.

She was a challenge and he liked having challenges. He was Izaya Orihara and he lived on learning new information.

He considered going to Celty for help, because he knew no other females that would provide good assistance as far as wooing was concerned.

Namie was a creepy, incestuous stalker. Mairu and Kururi were stalkers of another breed, but they only like Shizu-chan's little brother and each other. His mother wasn't one who inspired motherly affection and good advice. Celty was literally the best choice, and she wasn't even human. How ironic that he was getting advice about humans, from a non-human entity.

He met up with her the next day and was completely baffled.

{Just continue doing whatever you are doing. She complains about you less and less as time goes by.}

That was it? That was her great advice?

{Shizuka has extremely simple tastes. She doesn't need much. She's never really had anyone to constantly come around and care about her health or day or ask her out, so she's new to this.}

Izaya loved his humans but he had to admit, they were idiots. How could they not see how amazing Zuka-chan was?

He sighed. "Thanks for trying, Celty."

She shrugged and rode off, leaving him to contemplate future actions.

He'd go with the bag of candy, first.

A/N: Another one is done! So Izaya is determined and Shizuka isn't interested... yet.

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