So I was wondering: what if Zoey wasn't so understanding of Mike's disorder when he revealed it in TDRI? How would Mike have reacted? The result was this fic.

TRIGGER WARNING: This fic is about being judged for a mental disorder. If you've ever been in that situation, this might hit you a little close to home. Read with caution.


Five words are all it takes for his world to fall apart again.

"I have Multiple Personality Disorder."

Surprised, Zoey raises her eyebrows, taking a slight step back. "Wait, you mean, like... Like Jekyl and Hyde?"

"Uh, well, yes and no." Mike tries to think of the best possible way to describe it, for her benefit, for their benefit. "It's like I have different people in my head, and we sort of 'take turns' on who controls this body, I guess..."

She starts pulling her hands away from his. "You mean to tell me that Vito and that Russian chick and that old man are all real? They just live in your head?"

"They have names," he whispers, more concerned with how she's looking at him than anything she's saying. "I-I only lied because I didn't want you to think I was crazy or something."

"What else are you hiding?!" she exclaims, crossing her arms in a defensive stance. "Do you hear voices? Are you dangerous?"

Mike can feel his heartbeat speeding up, pounding in his ears like a hammer, breaking him apart from the inside out. "I, uh, I hear the voices of the others sometimes, yeah. But I'm not dangerous or anything like that." Briefly, he recalls the personality he'd been able to lock away a few years back. The Malevolent One. Without thinking about it, he mutters, "Not anymore, at least."

"Not anymore? S-so what, you thought you could just lie to me about you being criminally insane and I'd be cool with it?"

"Zoey, I'm not..." His voice breaks. Insane. Insane. Insane. That awful, hideous word, more horrible than anything he's ever been called. He can't even get it past his throat without tears clawing at the back of his eyes. Instead, he settles for, "I'm not dangerous."

He tries to grab her wrist, like touching him will change her opinion, like that alone will make her see that he's human. She just takes another step back, holding up her palms as if to say STOP. And they're shaking, God help him, her palms are shaking.

She's afraid of him.

"I thought you were normal," she insists. "I thought you were just being a jerk when you were hitting on Anne Maria, but... But..."

"I am normal!"

"No, Mike. I'm sorry, but you're crazy!"

"Zoey―"

"Just stay away from me! O-Okay? All of you, stay away!" She takes a few more steps back, tripping slightly over a rock only to quickly regain her footing. Calming her breathing, her palms are still out, like she's warding off a wild animal...

"Zoey, please! I-I really like you."

"Which one of you?"

His skin too hot and his body shaking― he has no idea when he started crying.

When she walks away, she keeps looking over her shoulder, making sure he's not following her. He doesn't even remember what the hell he's supposed to be doing.

And it happens suddenly, his vision fading out, that familiar feeling of falling back into his mind.

When he opens his eyes, he doesn't even register that he's standing in his own subconscious. He doesn't think about who's controlling the body at this moment. His only thought is of that beautiful girl― her face friendly at first, then offended at "his" actions, and finally terrified.

Weak all over, he falls to his knees, his entire body shaking.

"I'm... Not..." He sobs, "Insane!"

"We told ya," calls a familiar accent.

Mike looks up. "V-Vito?"

His Jersey alter keeps an unreadable face. "We tried to warn ya. I could tell that Zoey broad was trouble from the minute I saw her."

Mike ignores him, continuing to cry instead. It seems like every time he wipes at a tear, three more take its place. Svetlana puts an arm around him, trying her best to stay comforting, the only other alter to know what true romantic betrayal like this feels like.

"Vito," she says, "rubbing zis in his face vill not help him."

"We told 'im to stay down! We told 'im not to step in our way! Why do you think I was tryin' to make her leave us alone in the first place?"

"So you were sabotaging me and Zoey!" Mike glares.

"Don't pin this whole wrap on me, man. I was tryin' to get her away before you dropped the MPD-bomb on 'er. Ain't my fault you wouldn't let me protect ya."

"Vito!" Svetlana snaps again.

"I thought she was different," Mike mutters. "I thought she was special."

"Well, she ain't," he replies bluntly. "No broad ever is. That's why I'm the hit-'em-and-quit-'em type."

Mike buries a hand in his hair, pulling at it in a way that's always inexplicably helped him feel better. It's become impossible to respond verbally without sounding like a three-year-old. Vito is right, after all, as strange as that sounds. While Svetlana and Manitoba had been all for 'new adventures', Vito was the one to agree with the therapist that they shouldn't go on Total Drama. He tried to keep Mike and Zoey away from each other. He knew this would happen.

"You shouldn't be holdin' onto him, Lana," Vito snorts, crossing his arms. "He needs to learn to listen."

And though Mike doesn't want to admit it, this is what always happens to him. Friends, crushes, anyone who he tries to get close to has been driven away by his "illness".

Why should some girl he met on a reality show be any different?


I felt so bad for Mike while writing this, I'm not gonna lie. Review, please?