Previously on…

"Oh no," Lanie breathed. "We're losing them."

"We're fine," rasped Beckett. "Just… do what you have to." She was already rising out of her chair, drawn to Castle like they were magnets helplessly caught in each other's pull. In seconds they were lost to the world.

"Gonna be the longest three days of my life," declared Javi.

"Two to five," Ryan inanely amended.

Lanie took a deep breath. "Well. Let's do this."

Castle and Beckett became the first couple in history to be sanctioned to have sex in the back of a police car. Lanie had determined they were highly likely to seriously injure themselves if separated and that for their own safety they had to stay together. Espo and Ryan told her straight up that she would be the one who had to drive Beckett's cruiser back to the loft. The heaviest pair of earplugs she could find were not enough. The rocking of the car was… Well. It was a drive she would never forget.

Esposito and Ryan arrived just behind her, opening their mouths to crack a joke as soon as she stepped out but the finger she immediately pointed fiercely in their direction stopped them short.

"Do. Not. Even. Think. About. It." She hissed.

Esposito gulped and ran into the building to warn Eduardo that his tenants had been in an accident and were in an extreme state of behavior. The long term doorman expressed his concerns for his secretly favourite residents but agreed to vacate the lobby for a few minutes to let them be brought in in peace. He also locked down the second elevator for their exclusive use. The well-meaning man could not, however, lock down the street outside. It was a relatively quiet neighbourhood but even so more than a few innocent passersby got an unexpected show as the three friends tried to cover the now half-dressed couple with blankets and shuffle them inside while they continued to try to at least make out.

Eduardo, sitting in the small staff room studiously ignoring the lobby security feed, frowned at the bizarre noises and muffled shouts seeping in through the door. The Castle's used to be such a quiet, simple family… Well, Ms. Rodgers had never been quiet or simple and Mr. Castle used to be quite the hellraiser, but ever since Ms. Beckett had entered their lives… he never knew quite what to expect. It was amazing what one could tell about a person's state of mind by how they entered a building and walked to the elevator. For years Mr. Castle would practically bounce through the lobby, his new "occupation" filling him with a sense of purpose he'd never had before. Then, for a while, his feet would drag, his face was shadowed, his eyes haunted. But then one night Ms. Beckett had run through across the floor like her life depended on it, leaving a wet trail behind her as her rain soaked form threw open the door to the stairwell, unable to wait for the elevator. After that she was there all the time with a huge smile on her face. Mr. Castle was more bouncy than ever. After nearly twenty years with the building Eduardo could honestly say the last few years had been the best, and that he was enjoying his time more than ever before. Never a dull day!

He heard a sudden thump that interrupted his reminiscing. He wondered if he should assist but the lobby had gone silent. After several long moments he deemed it safe to exit. The lobby was empty but there was something crumpled on the ground by the elevator which he hurried to pick up.

It was a medical scrub shirt in Ms. Beckett's size. It was torn in two.

Eduardo frowned, delicately folding the pieces as he brought it back to the staff room to return to them later.

Never a dull day.

Meanwhile in the elevator…

"Oh God," Javi sputtered, "No, Castle, seriously, you…"

"Girl!" Lanie shrieked. "Do not put that there!"

"Was that your hand, Espo, 'cause I love you bro but not like that."

"Wasn't my hand, man, it was…"

"Never mind, I don't even want to know."

Two feminine hands and a clever foot suddenly started to wander. Beckett howled with laughter as two cops and a doctor simultaneously jumped and yelled.

"WOAH!"

"HEllo…"

"Hey now!"

Castle laughed so hard his shaking body rocked Beckett right into the elevator wall. Her hands became occupied once more, frantic, and Espo got another elbow to the face. Ryan narrowly avoided a knee to the groin as Beckett's leg wrapped around Castle's waist. He sent a silent thank you heavenward that he'd already had a child. By the time they'd risen to Castle's floor the man was down to a pair of scrub pants with one leg torn off. Beckett's were now short shorts.

"I didn't know these things were so easily torn," Ryan wondered aloud.

"Neither did I," Lanie admitted.

They heard a loud rip and a squeal of triumph. Unable to resist the morbid, lurid curiosity three heads glanced towards the pair and got a close up view of Castle's bare backside being squeezed by Beckett's hands.

"Burn my eyeballs," Espo moaned. "Just burn them."

"Get them in that apartment NOW!" Ryan bellowed.

The boys herded the amorous pair towards the door at the end of the hall as Lanie turned the key with shaking hands, adrenaline, embarrassment, horror, jealousy all running through her veins. She threw open the door with relief and held it for the boys who with a final heave pushed the couple in. They tripped over each other's feet and with a great "Whoop!" fell to the floor just inside the door. There was a brief moment of pure silence before Castle moved, Beckett moaned, and they started fulfilling their body's demands.

"I am so done!" Lanie exclaimed, and slammed the door on them, leaning back against it and slumping to the floor.

The boys stood still, slightly dazed, for a few long moments before joining her on the ground.

"So what now?" Ryan finally asked in a hushed, tired voice.

"I need to go get my supplies from the car," Lanie said making no move to get up.

"I have a deck of cards in mine," supplied Ryan.

"Are we technically on duty right now or can I have a beer? Or a bottle of whiskey?" Javier inquired.

Something kicked against the door from inside the loft. The teammates collectively sighed, slowly making their way to standing.

So it begins.

"And that's how you came to be," Kate finished quickly, her cheeks faintly red.

"What?" Jaime cried. "That's it?"

"Well we obviously survived. You do not need to know the rest."

"So you don't actually know when or how I was conceived. I'm just the accidental byproduct of a mad romp fest?" Jaime's face was twisted in a way only a teenage girl could manage.

"To heck with you, Jaim, what about the case?" Ben complained. "The Arbitros guys? Revolutionary drugs that could kill everyone?"

"Kevin?" asked Kate.

"Well…"

They were going crazy. It was only the second day and they were already so done with it all. Castle's door was soundproof but every time they had to open it and go in… Not okay. They'd taken to wearing heavy duty earplugs and had hung air fresheners all over the loft, opening windows whenever Castle and Beckett were being cared for by Lanie. The blood pressure stabilizers helped prevent them from going ballistic when she separated them. She'd had to attach them to I.V's once a day in addition to force-feeding them. The boys helped her clear up any broken glass, furniture, anything. Castle was not going to be happy when he regained his sanity. What really drove them mad, though, was that the case was breaking and they couldn't be at the precinct to help.

They consulted as best they could by phone but take-downs were happening, labs were being found and suspects were being interrogated while they were stuck in Castle's hallway playing card games and reading books. Pete, the missing brother of their original victim Kyle Swaslie had even finally showed up, and they'd missed it. Turns out he'd missed his initial appointment because his wife had gone into labour; He was the only brother of the six who'd actually made an honest life for himself. He'd had Kyle over a week before his death, trying one last time to encourage him to turn his life around. Kyle had refused, gotten drunk, and blurted out all kinds of things about Nectar and Brazillians that Pete had thought was just drunken gibberish. The detectives at the Twelfth Precinct had been able to string together what Pete remembered into viable information. It led them to a warehouse filled to the brim with Nectar production. Steveson, the slimy head of the Children of Chaos, immediately turned on Os Arbitros, claiming he was just a simple buyer of goods who hadn't known they would be turned into a deadly drug.

Kyle Swaslie had been a simple pawn stupid enough to volunteer for testing thinking he would gain status and a free supply of the drug. Natalie was an unfortunate victim of his greed. By the time the poison had run through Kate and Rick's systems after three more long days Cardoso and his lieutenants had been found and convicted. Cardoso had admitted he'd drugged Castle and Beckett simply for fun, and experiment to see if Nectar could be just a love potion after all, though it's intended use was indeed as a poison. Everything had been neatly wrapped up with court dates scheduled.

"So… basically," Jaime surmised, "Everyone else at the Twelfth Precinct took down one of the most potentially dangerous drug ops of all time…"

"Hey!" Javier protested. "We started the whole thing! Laid the foundation upon which they then…"

"Okay, fine, you guys did most of the heavy lifting but then missed all the actual take downs and arrests and interrogations because you were babysitting our parents while they..."

The Latino scowled. Ryan looked like his puppy had been kicked.

"Maybe I didn't need to know all this…" Benjamin frowned. "I was hoping for big drama and sweet take down stories and, not… other ones."

"I warned you," Kate shook her head. Her son scowled.

"So was there any fallout?" Jaime asked. "I mean… The poison just completely wore off?" She suddenly looked horrified. "None of it was transferred to me, was it? If I was conceived with you guys like… that… Is it going to suddenly manifest in me and turn me into some kind of… puberty is hard enough!"

"No, girl, no!" Lanie assured her. "You wouldn't believe the amount of testing we did throughout your mom's pregnancy, and on you once you were born. You are completely and utterly normal."

"Well I wouldn't go that far," Castle joked. His daughter slapped his arm.

"There was just a lot of home furnishing shopping and apologies for accidental come-ons," Kate said, still red faced.

"I can't believe you checked out Iron Gates," Ben looked wide eyed at his father. "And survived."

The now retired Captain enjoyed playing up her role as a harshly strict taskmaster for the young boy and everyone laughed at his display of fear. They all knew Victoria actually loved him. Even so, they were all glad she wasn't present for this particular family tale.

"Well to be fair, she sure can work a skirt!" Castle grinned. This time Kate swatted at him.

"It was pretty hilarious for a while," Jenny piped up. "The way these guys would avoid eye contact."

Kate, Rick, Javier, Kevin and Lanie all shifted uncomfortably.

"No touching," Jenny continued. "Couldn't even fist bump each other for, what, a few months?"

"This story was supposed to embarrass them," Ryan groused at his wife.

"Oh you want to talk embarrassing?" Martha said. "Alexis and I gave them more than enough hell."

Alexis smirked. "Oh yeah. The state of this place when we got back home… The detectives tried to keep us away longer but refused to say why. We just didn't understand and came back anyways. Thank God Kate and Dad had already been taken to the hospital to get checked over cause if they'd still been…"

"Yes," Martha picked up. "Once we found out the real reason for our forced departure… well, you know I can't resist a good ribbing." She elbowed Alexis with a knowing wink. The actress moved slower now, didn't run out at night and disappear till the morning, but Martha Rogers was still a force to be reckoned with.

Jaime and Ben were used to their grandmother's special airs and had no desire to ask what she'd actually said to their parents.

"Well," Jaime announced clapping her hands on her knees then standing up. "I have enough lurid imagery packed in my head to last the next… long time. I'm going to my room to cleanse my brain with some solid reading."

Ben jumped up as well. "Can I go to the Cave?"

Before his son had even been born Castle had insisted that since he would no longer be the only male of the house that a "Man Cave" needed to be established where they could go do "Man things". The room of course housed a gigantic television and more gaming systems than anyone could ever need. Castle looked at his wife, who nodded. Ben ran off.

"Guess I'll follow the trend," Alexis stood up. "I have to be getting home. Damien's on night shift tonight and the babysitter has to leave by 8."

"I must say," Lanie said once kisses and hugs had been exchanged and all kids were gone. "I'm surprised you told them that story. They're still so young!"

"Had to come out eventually," Kate shrugged.

"Well they took it very well, all things considered," Ryan praised. "You raised them well."

The Castles grinned and ducked their heads. Rick slipped his hand into his wife's. "We sure did," he agreed smiling softly at her. She sighed and nodded.

"Damn," Javi suddenly stood up. "15 years and every time you guys do doe eyes I still get flashbacks!" He shuddered dramatically and everyone laughed.

"Well you're just going to have to deal with it," Kate said. "Cause we're never gonna stop. Right babe?"

"Right," Castle nodded sharply. Kate grinned and gave him a quick kiss. He grinned back and kissed her a little harder, a little longer.

"And that's our cue to leave!" Lanie announced, standing up next to her husband.

"Yup," Jenny nodded.

Castle and Beckett continued to hold hands as their friends gathered coats, purses and shoes. A chorus of "Are you sure that Nectar ever fully left their systems? Cause those two… sometimes I wonder…" trailed out the door as their friends filed out. Once the door finally clicked shut Castle blew out a breath and leaned back against it.

"Crazy family."

"Yup," Beckett nodded as she stepped into him and wound her arms around his middle, letting her cheek fall against his broad chest.

"Wouldn't have it any other way."

"Nope." She stood up on her toes and nuzzled her nose against his. He wrapped his arms around her.

"So…" said Castle.

"So…"

"All this… reminiscing," he said slowly.

"Hmm?" Kate's hands started to wander.

"Just, y'know, has me thinking…"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Thinking what?"

"That maybe we could, y'know, reenact some of those glory days?"

"Oh Castle," she chuckled darkly. "We're still in our glory days."

She kissed him. Hard. When she finally let up he sucked in air like a drowning man.

"So true," he wheezed. "Are you sure that stuff didn't have any lasting effects?"

"Baby, we never needed any love potion. This is all us."

She started leading him to their bedroom but he suddenly pulled back on her hand and gathered her into him with a move that made certain parts meet certain parts and she gasped.

"Yes," he agreed huskily. "It is."

She giggled. He kissed her. They barely made it to the bedroom.

The End

Well!? What do ya think!? I can't thank everyone who reviewed enough; My face hurt from smiling so hard. I know lots of you will probably be surprised this is over so soon… It might seem a bit abrupt that I skipped right to the end but I felt I couldn't really continue all the banter and madness without it turning into a story ONLY about Lanie and the boys or *Ahem* changing the rating, which I didn't want to do. I actually hadn't even written all the stuff about getting them into the loft until JUST now!

That being said…

I couuuuld maaaybe be persuaded to do a separate piece detailing The Days at The Loft ;) That all depends on YOUR feedback!

Thank you for sticking it through this oddball lil story of mine :) 9 Chapters... Love Potion #9... get it!? Till next time! MS xoxoxo