Omg...this is the end. No really the ACTUAL end! This story has been going for so long I'm sure everyone thought it was dead and gone. But SIKE! It's alive! Alive I tell you! Well...now it's over. But semantics. Anyways, I want to say thank you to everyone who has stuck with this story through the years (god I feel awful about that) and I hope this ending is everything you wanted. Thank you for waiting so patiently and I hope you guys enjoy the final installment of "Feel."

Love Peachee

Mikey sat sullenly in the living room, staring at the array of TVs buzzing quietly in the background. He wasn't really watching them, but they gave the distraction he needed from what was really making him so upset. He was cleaning the kitchen after dinner, digging into the cupboards that so badly needed to be cleared out. That how he came across the nearly full bottle of medication that Raph was supposed to be taking. Daily.

His face fell into a frown as he tried to understand what Raph was thinking. He had made a full recovery, ahead of schedule. Donnie called it a miracle, while Leo called it determination. Mikey called it desperation. After their heartfelt reunion, Raph and gone pale as Donnie explained just how close they had come to losing him. How he would have a LONG recovery ahead of him. Raph's eyes had narrowed in a look Mikey recognized all too well. Until a while ago, he had worn that exact same expression.

Absently he rubbed his metal plastron, remembering his desperation to get well and fight again. He could relate, really he could. But what Raph did next was…frustrating at best. As soon as he was deemed "healed" by Dr. Don, he was out of the lair faster than any of them could realize. Every night he went out, sometimes with Leo, sometimes with Casey, and sometimes, lying to them all and going out alone. Like tonight. He was "with Casey" or so he told his family, but after finding the bottle of meds, Mikey called Casey only to be told the human hadn't seen his best friend all week.

And so here Mikey was. Waiting for his older brother to come home. Oscillating between fury and worry, like a ship in a storm. What if Raph needed help? What if his heart had complications? What if he never-

His running mind was interrupted by the creak and clank of the lair door swinging aside. Whipping his head around, Mikey located Raph walking stiffly through the door, stretching his arm across himself with a grimace. Mikey watched him for some indication of injury, but was only met with a confused glare.

"What're ya doin' up?"

Mikey slowly unfolded himself from the couch, bringing the bottle of medication up in his hand.

"I think we need to talk."

Raph's glare intensified as his eyes caught sight of the bright white bottle.

"Ain't nothin' ta talk about Mikey."

Angrily, Mikey came out from behind the couch.

"Oh I think there is plenty to discuss Raph. How about the fact this bottle is practically full. Or how about the fact you've been lying to all of us and going out alone again?"

Raph's face morphed quickly from anger, to surprise, a flash of guilt, before settling on anger again. Dismissively he waved his hand at Mikey's furious expression.

"Lay off Mikey. I'm fine."

"You are NOT!" Mikey whispered furiously. "You are taking dangerous risks again, and look how well that worked out last time."

Immediately Mikey knew he had made a mistake. Raph's face went from anger to blinding fury as his lips pulled back in a snarl.

"Stay the Hell out of my business Mikey. Lord knows you are one to talk about bein' hurt and lyin'."

Mikey stared in shock, as Raph angrily stomped up the stairs before shutting his door without a backwards glance.

Recovering from his shock, Mikey sprinted up the stairs. This wasn't over! As he was about to burst into Raph's room, the sounds of gasping and choking hit him like a ton of bricks.

No! NO! Raph no!

Hurriedly Mikey opened the door, only to see Raphael, kneeling by his hammock, gripping the material tightly. One hand was closed in a tight fist over his chest, his eyes closed as he gasped and wheezed. Mikey's eyes blew wide as he came to realize what was happening. A panic attack.

"Raph! Come on Raph, breathe!"

Anxiously Mikey knelt by Raph, pulling him back from his hunched over position.

"Come on bro. Calm down. You're safe. Breathe with me."

Mikey tried to ignore the shake in his voice as he tried to calm his older brother. Should he call Donnie? Raph hadn't been taking his medication. Was his heart in danger? What happened if he passed out?

"Come on Raph please," Mikey begged, holding his brother's shell against his chest. "Calm. Breathe. Slow."

Weakly, Raph pushed himself away from the support of Mikey's arms. Without even looking at Mikey, he spoke.

"Go 'way…"

"Not a chance Raph," Mikey said staunchly. "Come on, breathe. Slow. With me."

"Whas tha point," Raph gasped, shaking. "Can't do – nothin' right – Don't matter…"

Angrily Mikey reached forward to grip Raph's bicep.

"You matter Raph! You always mattered."

Raph stared at the metal covering his brother's plastron, shaking even harder. Mikey followed his gaze, sighing heavily as he moved his hands to Raph's shoulders.

"Raph…it wasn't your fault."

Raph angrily shook his head, his breathing getting faster.

"Was my fault. Hurt ya'…never shoulda…happened. My fault-"

"I was weak," Mikey whispered.

"NO!"

Mikey staggered as Raph pushed hard at him, staring angrily through his pants for air. Slowly, his breaths slowed again and he spoke.

"It was me," Raph said brokenly. "I…I was weak. I was…afraid."

Mikey's eyes grew wide at the admission. Raphael, his strongest brother, admitted he was weak, afraid. Lowly, the red-banded ninja continued.

"I was afraid that I wouldn't be able ta protect ya." Miserably he looked at Mikey's plastron again. "Guess I was right."

Mikey stared hard at the floor, fighting back tears.

"I never wanted to be a burden to you Raphie…"

Raph snapped his gaze to look at his despondent younger brother. Shakily he reached out and placed a hand on Mikey's knee.

"Ya ain't Mikey. It's my job ta protect tha family no matta what." Gripping Mikey's knee he continued. "And I can't even do that."

Mikey quickly covered Raph's hand as he raised his tear-streaked face to Raph.

"No! What you're doing is killing yourself!"

"It don't matter if I-"

"YES it DOES!"

Raphael stared blankly at the outburst. Anger wasn't the reaction he was expecting from the youngest ninja.

"I kept trying to get stronger, tougher, for you," Mikey said softly. "I couldn't bear the fact you were getting hurt because of me. I couldn't stand it."

Raph continued to stare, eyes wide.

"Raphie, if anything happened to you I would be lost."

Raphael wasn't sure he had heard correctly. He was the big brother. The one thing between all the bad in the world and his family. He was expendable. Nothing would change with him gone, except his family would survive. But Mikey said... A broken sob escaped Raph's lips. The sound echoed in the small room, before Raph folded on himself fighting desperately against the tears already falling down his face.

Immediately Mikey leaned forward wrapping his arms around his shaking older brother tucking him beneath his chin.

"You're so strong Raphie," he said softly, as Raph's breath caught between his sobs. "But you've been alone for so long. You can't carry everything on your own like that."

"I have'ta - sniff - I gotta protect ev'ryone. I-I'm not good fer much else."

Mikey squeezed his brother tighter.

"Not true! Dude you gotta be kidding me!" he said earnestly. "Bro, knowing that you're there for me no matter what is what lets me be so happy. You're my bro. And…and you've been my hero for forever."

Raph looked up.

"Mikey?"

"You are more than a fighter Raphie! I mean yeah you're a really really really good one but you're more than that! You don't have to be the only one fighting. Let me protect you too!"

Mikey felt Raph's forehead rest on his shoulder.

"I don't want ya ta be hurt."

"The feeling is mutual bro," Mikey said. "But you can't shield me from everything and I don't want you to. I love you too much for that."

"Sap…"

"Yeah but I'm your sap."

Raph arms tightened around Mikey's shell.

"Raph, don't do this alone. Me, Donnie, Leo, you…we protect each other. It's what brothers do."

Raph gently smiled. Mikey was using his own words against him huh?

"Raph I am so proud to have such a strong brother but I swear to shell I will go all Turtle Titanium on your butt if you ever pull this crap again."

Raph felt his face break out into a genuine smile.

"Oh and don't think we aren't talking about this with the rest of the family bright and early tomorrow."

"Geez Mike," Raph chuckled weakly. "When did ya get so tough?"