A/N: A week late but two days Early... I don't know if I will be able to update next episode... consider last week a hiatus... it was preempted by pain and illness ugh! anyway I had to work today and I got to sit in front of a computer for five hours so you got this chapter! Yay! I miss you guys so much! Enjoy!

The one with the Dozen Lasagnas

"All I'm saying is that if you had told me vegetarian lasagna, Tori and I would have made vegetarian lasagna." Trina said angrily through the phone.

The gang were in Trina and Jade's apartment looking at Tori's collection of prenatal books. Robbie sat next to Jade eating a yogurt. Cat was in the kitchen with Trina and Beck and Andre were exchanging books showing each other pictures of little babies.

"Tori, did you really read all these baby books?" Andre asked looking at what to expect when you're expecting.

"Yup!" Tori said proudly, "I can deliver any random woman's baby."

"Ooh, this is cool...it says in some parts of the world, people actually eat the placenta." Jade said looking at another book. Tori looked at her with a quirked brow wondering what it is she loved about that woman.

"And, we're done with the yogurt." Robbie said setting his yogurt down on the table.

Jade grinned and picked up the yogurt and finished it up.

"Aunt Teresa, Tor and I did this as a favor, We're not caterers. What do you want me to do with a dozen lasagnas?" Trina protested on the phone giving TOri a meaningful look. TOri rolled her eyes as Trina listened. Then laughed as Trina's face transformed to a shocked expression. "Nice talk, Aunt T. You kiss Uncle Freddie with that mouth?"

"Hey Tori, listen," Andre said to his best friend holding his thumb and index finger apart about two inches. "You know that right now, your baby's only this big?"

Tori smiled and rubbed at her belly. "Yes I did."

"I mean, This is your baby." he said making the fingers move he adopted a baby voice and said " Hi mommy."

"Hello!" Tori played along with a giggle.

"How come you don't live with Daddy?" He said and"Andre!" Tori said with a growl and hit him with the pillow.

There is a knock on the door. and Jade smiles and goes to answer. "Hey Baby." She says as she opens and Paolo is revealed behind the door. She kisses him passionately in greeting, and Poor Tori cringes as she watches.

"Relax, that can't be good for the baby." Beck whispers next to her.

Tori lets out a whine as Jade brings Paolo to sit with them.

"Babe, you can say it, Poconos, Poconos, it's like Poc-o-nos" She practically cooed at him touching his nose with her fore finger with each syllable. Beck grit his teeth she had never been that gooey with him.

"Ah, poke" Paolo said touching Jade's nose. "a, nose." Then he brought his nose closer to her and they gave each other sweet eskimo kisses that made Tori Gag.

"I think I threw up a little in my mouth," Tori said.

"So, did I hear Poconos?" Trina said having hung up the phone.

"Yes, my dad's giving us his place for the weekend." Jade said leaning on Paolo.

"Woo-hoo, first weekend away together!" Cat said with a smile.

"Yeah, that's a big step." Trina said with a grin.

"I know…" Jade said excitedly.

"Ah, it's just a weekend, big deal!" Andre said.

"Wasn't this supposed to be just a fling?" Tori murmurred. "Shouldn't it be... flung by now?"

"I mean, we are way past the fling thing, I mean, I am feeling things that I've only seen in those cheesy romantic comedies Vega always watches you know?" Jade said taking a seat in a chair at the table. "I mean, when I'm with him, I'm totally, totally…"

" ...nauseous," Tori said back at the living room. "I'm physically nauseous. What am I supposed to do? Call immigration?" Tori paused and her eyebrow shot up. "I could call immigration!"

"She will never forgive you." Beck said..

"Then you call." Tori answered, "He gets to you just as much as me."

"Tori Come on…" Andre said.

"I Know… " Tori conceded then she got up. "Hey I have to go, I have to meet Carl at the doctors."

"Later Tor…" Andre said and she was finally out of range of the most annoying couple in the world.

Tori sat in the sonogram room waiting for the doctor carl… and freaking Sam. Just a little annoyed. "Hey, Hello!" carl said walking in. He bent down and kissed Tori's cheeks

"Hey, Trina sends her love." Tori said handing Carl and Sam a lasagna."

"Oh great, is it vegetarian? Sam doesn't eat meat." Carl says taking the lasagna.

Tori blinked and looked away from Carl. "I'm sure it is." she murmured.

Just then his doctor walked in. "Hello everyone." she said. Tori smiled. "So i've gotten the results to the amnio today." Dr/ Bower said.

Anxiously Tori sat up. "Oh, tell me, tell me, is everything, uhh...?"

Dr. Bower smiled again. "Yeah! Totally and completely healthy."

"That's great, that's fantastic!" Carl said hugging Tori. Sam just pet tori on the shoulder like she was a dog, and like a dog she wanted to bite that hand."

"Do you want to know about the sex?" The Doctor asked.

"Oh, you know the sex of the baby?" Tori said excitedly.

"Do you want to know?" Carl asked excitedly.

"No, no, no, no, no, I don't want to know, absolutely not." Tori said covering her ears. "I think, you know, I think you should know until you look down there, and say, oop, there it is!" a pause "Or isn't…"

"Oh come on, I want to know." Sam said

Tori glared at Sam. "Oh come on Babe… I wanna know what we're having." Carl intoned and Tori's glare turned to him.

"Weill I don't want to know." Tori said, "And I'm the carrier."

"I could just tell you you are not living together right" The Dr. said.

"Please do!" Carl and Sam said together.

"No! You can't know. if I can't."

Dr. Bower took a piece of paper and wrote something on it then placed it inside an envelope and handed it to Carl. "This is the only thing they can control. I trust that you will not tell Tori what she does not want to hear."

The two of them ripped the envelope open and they looked The squealed like little girls and Tori looked on disgusted. "I don't want to hear anything else about it." Tori said.

Carl and Sam both made a zip sign over their mouth and threw away the key.

"I can't believe you don't want to know," Jade said taking a seat Next to Tori on the couch in the Cafe. "I Mean, I couldn't not know, If… the doctor knows, and Carl knows, and Sam knows-"

"And Trina knows…" Trina interrupted taking a sip of the coffy Jade had just placed n front of her.

"How could you know?" Tori asked in shock. "I dont even know!"

"Carl called me to thank me for the lasagna, I asked, he told me." Trina said with a shrug. she didn't have a problem with her ex-brother-in-law.

"So what's it gonna be?" Beck asked, as he was sitting next to Trina. Trina leaned in and whispered the answer in his ear. Robbie leaned in close to hear as well.

"Woah, whoa!" Tori said standing up, with some difficulty and waving in their face. "Oh great! Now Beck and Robbie know and I don't?"

"I'm SORRY, I'm just excited about being an aunt." Trina said

"Or an Uncle," Robbie intoned. Everyone turned to look at him strangely as Cat entered the Cafe looking a little skittish.

"Hey Cat!" Robbie and Beck said at the same time glad to have the attention of the mother to be averted from them.

"Hi Kitten." Tori said sitting back down.

"Caterina…" Jade said standing up and heading back to work.

"I'm Fine!" Cat said shrinking away from Jade. If she only knew what her hot hot hot naked boyfriend had done to her that afternoon Cat was sure Jade would kill her.

"Cat, what's the matter?" Trina asked as Cat hurriedly took the seat Jade had vacated.

"Nothing, I'm sorry, I'm Just... " Cat said sinking down lower self consciously. "I just feel icky."

Sensing that there were about to be some girly feelings involved Beck remembered suddenly. "Hey Rob, We have to go meet Andre at that place before seven. Come on!"

"Oh yeah, for that thing." Robbie said and the men began to walk away.

Rolling her eyes at the obvious avoidance, Trina turned her attention back to Cat who sat between her sister and her. "Cat, what is it?"

"Alright… you know Paolo right?" Cat asked.

Tori groaned. "I am familiar with his work, yes…" she said rolling her eyes.

"Well… he made a move on me." Cat said and both Beck and Robbie made a one eighty and turned back to their friend.

"Whoa… Andre will find us here…" Beck said kneeling at her feet.

"More Coffee over here!" Robbie signalled and everyone glared at him because it would be Jade that would bring it. They all looked at the glaring Jade who was serving another customer. "Never mind!" Robbie yelled and the waitress rolled her eyes and ignored her friends for a little while.

"Well what happened?" Trina asked in a hushed tone.

"he came in for a massage, and everything was fine, until… he was lying on the massage table after flashing me you know. I saw everything. ThenI was by his head working on his shoulders, as his hands touched the back of my calf. and as I worked he moved his hands up my legs."

"Ooooooh!" Beck and Robbie said as Andre walked into the Cafe and wondered why his friends were huddled.

"Hey, gang… what's up?" Andre asked.

"Shhhh!" Tori said really wanting to hear where this went. "My god, Cat!"

"Are you sure he wasn't just looking for somewhere to rest his hands?" Trina asked

"Oh I'm sure since his hands went all the way to my ass and he gripped." Cat retorted.

"Gripped?" Tori and Andre said at the same time.

"And all of a sudden his hands weren't the problem anymore. Paolo flipped over and there was a freaking Tent where his groin should be." Cat said.

They all gasped. "Was it…" Trina whispered holding out her hands.

"Oh… boy scouts could have camped under there." Cat said fanning herself a little. Tori leaned back in the couch flushed, she never said he wasn't attractive… and she could only imagine. Trina licked her lips.

The guys whistled impressed as Jade ran over. "What did I miss?"

"I was telling them about a sex scene I just saw in a movie." Cat said.

"In Magic Mike…" Trina countered.

"Great movie…" Tori added.

"Okay…" Jade said and walked away confused.

Quickly Robbie turned back to Cat. "So what are you gonna do?"

"You have to tell her!" Tori interjected enthusiastically. "You have to tell her is your moral obligation as a friend… as a woman." Tori looked around to Trina. "This is a feminist issue. Right?" she looked at Andre for support.

"Oh yeah, you have to tell her." Andre agreed.

Beck nodded his head. "Yup, feminist issue."

"She is gonna hate me…" Cat said weakly.

"Yeah, well…" Tori said patting her shoulder in feigned sympathy, she knew Jade would get over it eventually. This was Cat for crying out loud.

Cat walked into Trina and Jade's apartment with her own key as Jade was now expertly folding her own laundry at the table packing for the Poconos. "Hey!" Cat said nervously.

"Hey Kitten." Jade said

Cat looks at the Luggage confused. "Are you moving out?"

"No," Jade said with a smirk. "These aren't all my suitcases." She picked up a small blue one to show her. "This one's Paolo's"

Cat bit her lower lip and lowered herself on a chair at the table. "Can we talk for a sec?"

"Sure…" Jade sad sitting next to her. "Hurry though, Paolo is on his way."

"Okay," cat said nervously. "Um… Okay."

"Spit it out already!" Jade said through gritted teeth.

"Okay… Um." Cat said clearing her throat. "We've known each other forever, and you know my friends are the most important thing in my life, that I never lie when it counts, and I make the best brownies in the world." Cat placed a tupperware container filled with her world famous brownies.

"YES!" Jade said taking a browning and biting into it. She moaned in pleasure. "Oh my god, better than sex." Cat blushed and giggled. "I also know that you have something important to say or you wouldn't have baked this, so spill."

"Paolo made a pass at me." Cat said.

"He what!?" Jade said and cat went on to tell the entire story as it happened.

"Are you okay?" Cat asked.

"I need some milk." Jade said, her throat dry.

"Here…" Cat said pulling out a tiny kiddy milk box from her bag. She had been prepared and had packed it in a little thermos lunch bag. "Better?" she asked once her friend had drained the little box.

"I feel so stupid!" Jade said her face beginning to turn hard. "I was talking about how great he was and how great he made me feel the other day… now I'm just embarrassed."

"I feel so dirty."

"If I had never met that ass clown It would have never happened." Jade interjected.

"You shouldn't be the one to apologize to me Jade." Cat said.

"He's such a pig!" Jade growled.

"The worst." Cat intoned.

"How did I not see this coming?" Jade said. "I was always on guard with Beck, and he isn't nearly as hot as Paolo."

"Oh gosh yes…" Cat said blushing a bit.

Jade looked at her friend with a scoul. "That's enough."

"Right…" Cat agreed and Jade groaned and looked regretful. She dropped her head on to the table. "Should I not have told you?" Cat asked.

"I just don't like being a fool for a man Cat…" Jade said. "I'm never going to let that happen to me again." Cat leaned in to her and hugged her best friend.

Then Paolo came to the apartment and Cat left them alone to talk to each other. She headed to the Guy's apartment where they had just purchased a foosball table. Tori and Trina were up against Andre and robbie. as she walked in. "Hey Cat, how did it go?" Trina asked her curiously.

Tori looked up suddenly losing focus on the game. Cat sauntered over and stood by them. "I think she took it pretty well. You know Paolo's over there right now so…"

"We should go over there and make sure she is okay." Trina said then looked back at the game table. "Hold up… " she makes a quick change. "score!" she said and high fived her sister. "Game… al right Cat, let's go."

Tori hesitates as she watches them leave. she doesn't know whether to follow and covers that up by saying. "I guess we kicked your Butts!'

"No… She kicked our butts. You were standing there hoping Cat had destroyed Jade so you could swoop in and save her."

"okay… come on, two on one." She challenged.

"Nah girl." Andre said, "What are you still doing here?" she just broke up with the guy, it's time for you to get in there."

"Really?" She asked insecurely.

"Yes!"

"Now is when you swoop!" Robbie said. "You got to make sure that when Paolo walks out of there, all she see's is you."

"The Anti-Paolo." Andre added.

"What about the penis problem?" Tori asked.

"That may work to your benefit." Andre said and Robbie agreed.

"That guy was large and in charge, and you're at least as hot as he is. but you are not him. She is broken, and doesn't like men right now. You like girls and she knows it. You take care of everything you need and help her pick up the pieces, and you usher in the age of Tori." Robbie stated.

She nodded and headed to the girl's apartment. When she got inside, she saw Jade in a rage with Paolo in the balcony. Jade had taken hold of his suitcase and was scattering his clothes to the wind. His protest in audible, the girls watched from the living room in amusement.

"How is it going?" Tori asked.

"Don't stare," Trina said with a chuckle. "She just finished throwing his clothes off the balcony, now there is just a lot of gesturing and arm waving." She finished. her mouth dropped in shock. "Wow… I forgot how crude she could be."

Cat covered her eyes. "That was dirty." she said.

Then Paolo walked into the apartment sheepishly he said. "I am, uh to say good-bye." he said.

"Okay, bye-bye." Cat said and turned away from him.

"Paolo, I really hate you for what you did to Jade," Trina said and handed him a lasagna. "But I still have five of these, so heat it at 375 until the cheese bubbles."

Paolo looked at the lasagna quizzically. " Uh… Grazie?"

He headed off to the door and Tori followed. "Paolo?" Tori started once he crosses the threshold. "I just want to say, and I speak for everyone here I think when I say…" then she slammed the door in his face and walked out to Jade in the balcony.

"Hey," Tori said stepping out to the balcony.

"Hey, Vega." Jade said her anger and sadness still evident in her voice.

"You alright?"

"No."

"Come here," Tori said and wrapped Jade in a hug.. The other woman was reluctant at first but eventually melted into her old Frienemy's arms. "Listen, you deserve so much better than him…" She ran her fingers through Jade's hair and kissed her temple. "I mean, you… you should be with someone who knows what they have when they have you."

"Oh, Vega…" Jade said just a little tearful. "I'm so sick of Love… I don't want to ever do that again."

"Well.." Tori said.

"Oh I'm sure you understand," Jade said signaling to her belly. and heading back inside the apartment.

Trina looked up at Jade as she did.. "Hey Gothica, you okay?"

"No." Jade responded.

"Want more brownies?" Cat asked.

Jade took the box of brownies and began to tear into them sitting on the couch. Tori walked into the apartment again determined to get the girl looking at her now. "Jade, I don't think that swearing off love altogether is the answer. I really don't. What you need is a better screening process." She sat next to her on the couch and tried to reach in to get a brownie. Jade slapped her hand away. "The baby really wants one!"

Jade rolled her eyes and extended the box to Tori. "I need to be by myself for a while. I need to figure out what I want."

"Not everyone is gonna be like Paolo." Tori said.

"I know that, I know Your little boy isn't going to be like that cre-"

"What?" Tori said

"Um.. What?" Jade said trying to pretend she didn't say what she had said. Tori, however was thrilled that it was Jade who told her she was having a baby boy. It was Jade… and it was a boy.

"I'm having a boy?" Tori said excitedly

Trina giggled and ran to hug her sister. "You're having a boy!"

Just then the three guys walked into the apartment. "I'm Having a boy!" Tori screamed.

"Hey!" they all said in unison.

"We already knew that!" Robbie said remembering.

"I'm having a son!" Tori said sitting back down on the couch ecstatic. frankly she would have been happy with anything it didn't matter. Then she thought about how she was going to raise a boy. "I'm having a son."

"You'll do great." Trina.

"We're all here for you." Andre said and they all gathered around Tori and hugged her.

A/N: YAY No more Paolo! now lets get to the Jori already! So I update this every Tuesday or Wednesday... but it's sunday and I don't Care. I hope you enjoyed it. 'Til next time, much love!-S.K. MUAH!