Zivon: An unstoppable force and an immovable object. One of the most interesting clashes in all of logic, physics, and philosophy. And, today, we see that embodied in these characters.
DAM: Those two are Doomsday, the Superman slayer, and Saitama, the hero for fun.
Hazzamo: He's DAM, that's Zivon, and I'm Hazzamo, and we're here to look at their weapons, armor, and abilities to decide who would win a Death Battle.
Zivon: Evolution to a pinnacle. The pursuit of perfection. The limitations of science and ethics. These are all things science tackles in the pursuit of advancing the species. Such was the goal of the scientist Bertron on the prehistoric Krypton.
DAM: Or just make something that can't be killed! Thanks, Space Dawkins. Also, as a historian, I have to point out them being there documenting everything is the exact opposite of what prehistoric means.
Hazzamo: How is it that we're gone this long and he becomes the buzzkill?
Zivon and DAM: HEY!
Hazzamo: Regardless, Bertron chose Krypton for how absolutely inhospitable it was, even the ancient lifeforms being jagged and carnivorous on a planet with poisonous air.
Zivon: To do this, Bertron would shoot a lab-created baby into the wilderness, watching it fight to survive and ultimately die before collecting the remains, cloning the baby, and sending out a stronger one in a rapidly sped up evolution.
DAM: Something tells me the first few times were it just hitting those damn spiky rocks everywhere! And with a vacuum? Damn, reminds me of grandma DAM's baby lasagna. Delicious.
Hazzamo: Eventually, a clone managed to not only survive the trials of Krypton but exterminate the hostile predators of Krypton and make it back to the research station. Bertron considered this clone a success and named it the Ultimate. However, he failed to realize several things throughout his experiments.
Zivon: First, it recorded every single death and feeling of agony in its genes across the clones, making it genetically predisposed to hate every form of life. Second, he remembered every single time he was murdered by Bertron's experiments and, because of his Kryptonian make-up, now considers them to be his greatest priority in killing as he sees every single one of them as Bertron. Third, the Ultimate had evolved to resurrect and evolve on its own, no longer needing Bertron and his science to do it for him. Finally, Bertron had no idea what to do with the Ultimate when he had progressed so rapidly in just 30 years.
DAM: Well, needless to say, no one was going to be able to suck up Bertron soup with a vacuum when the Ultimate was done. Then, he hitched a ride on a space craft and proceded to metaphorically fuck every single planet he came across, including Darkseid and the Green Lanterns' planets, before coming upon the planet Calaton, run by monarchs so inbred they make the Hapsburg family stump look like a fruitful tree.
Hazzamo: It was here the rulers combined their life essence to form a being of pure energy that finally killed the Ultimate but destroyed a fifth of the planet at the same time. Unsatisfied with the beast being buried on their planet, they encased him in a suit and chains so powerful they were meant to keep evil beings from going to the afterlife. Thus, his body shackled to a massive metal casket, he was shot into space before crashing on Earth, crashing deep underground where he slowly recovered and healed without the sunlight he needed to sustain himself.
Zivon: When he did escape, the Ultimate went on a rampage that would put him on the path to fight the man who would make him famous: Superman. In the process, he earned a new name: Doomsday. The fight was so ferocious it could be heard miles away like thunder until, ultimately, Doomsday was the first to kill Superman, himself being beaten to death in the process.
DAM: But, like we said, Doomsday by this point adapted to come back from whatever killed him and be immune to it. So, eventually, Doomsday was back and stronger than ever. He's basically evil Jesus!
Hazzamo: And in only there second encounter, Superman found him to be so powerful the only way to be safe from him was to leave him at the end of the universe and die to the entropy without the solar energy to sustain himself. That was until complete idiots thought, hey, we need this guy who can hardly be controlled and wants everything in existence dead.
Zivon: Aside from his ability to regenerate and come back from death, he's immensely adaptive. The energy blast of Radiant that killed him before now had no effect, and he even emitted a counter-energy that allowed him to kill the being. Or in the midst of a fight with Superman, bone plates in his ears grew to stop a sonic attack. And he's adapted to the point where he is near solid mass, save for his eyes, brain, and nervous system. He doesn't need to eat, sleep, breathe, or rest.
DAM: Plus let's not forget how ridiculously strong and surprisingly fast he is for his size, or those damn spikes all over him that are sharp enough to cut through Kryptonian hide, extend or secrete a toxic venom. He's beaten the Justice League with one arm literally tied behind his back, came back from the Omega Beams and being reduced to a skeleton, punched his way out of the supposedly inescapable Phantom Zone, led an army against the Gogs that lasted a nonstop century, took no damage from a blast equivalent to a million nukes, and, of course, "killed" Superman. How the hell do you stop this guy?
Hazzamo: Well, besides leaving him at the literal end of time, Doomsday is fairly simple-minded. When he locks on to killing something, that's all he focuses on and he can be lured into a trap, just like how he was blasted off of one planet.
Zivon: And, while he is nigh-invulnerable and incredibly hard to even harm, if one were to find a way that Doomsday is not adaptive to yet, one could kill Doomsday until he comes back again.
DAM: Oh, yeah, good luck finding a way of killing him that he hasn't already experienced as a goddamn baby. Let's just say you're doomed as soon as Doomsday shows up.
Superman attempts to shoot his heat vision into Doomsday's skull, earning a crack across the jaw for his efforts and Doomsday taunting, "Ah-ah-ah, can't beat me the same way twice."
Doomsday:
Age: ~250,000 Years Old
Height: 8'10"
Weight: 915 lbs.
Weapons, Armor, and Abilities:
Bone Spikes
- venomous and extendable
Bone Armor and Solid Mass Body
Rapid Adaptability
Resurrection and Invulnerability to Prior Means of Death
Superhuman Strength, Speed, Stamina, and Durability
Regenerative Healing Factor
Feats:
Defeated Darkseid, Green Lanterns, Justice League (one-armed) and Superman
Survived the Omega Beams, being reduced a skeleton, and a one-million-nuke explosion
Broke through the Phantom Zone
Battled Gogs for a century with an army
Exterminated life on several planets
Killed a being of pure energy in Radiant
Weaknesses:
Tunnel Vision
Adaptability and invulnerability have limits
Zivon: Imagine a world where monsters and heroes not only exist but form their own organizations. And imagine that world where the heroes are ranked on numerous criteria. Now imagine...
DAM: Oh, shut up, John Lennon, or you won't have to imagine my foot in your ass! After a lifetime of trying to be the hero, a 22-year-old man grew dejected and simply sought an office job and not being involved in any bullshit. Damn, it sounds like me if I didn't have any balls.
Hazzamo: But instead he has brains. Well, after a fateful encounter with a crab monster, which unintentionally kickstarted the Hero Association, this man set out to physically push himself to be the strongest hero of all. His name was Saitama.
DAM: I personally endorse as the patron anime saint of all fitizens. Taking on a grueling regimen of 100 squats, sit-ups, and push-ups, a 10 km run, eating healthy, and sleeping without heat nor air conditioning every single day in order to become a hero, Saitama eventually achieved his goal. But at two very dire costs.
Hazzamo: First, his hair completely fell out to to the exertion and stress he had put himself under. And secondly, well, he came to found out that he possessed the power to defeat any force against him with one punch.
Zivon: While this sounds amazing, Saitama considered it a curse as he wanted to be a hero for fun. And what fun was to be had in defeating all opponents so easily?
DAM: And why was he so able to do these things? Well, I'm glad you asked. Take it away, nerd.
Zivon: Blow it out your ass. Saitama's intense training and will to push himself beyond his limits achieved just that. As God put natural limits on all humans to make sure they could not push past a certain point, with heroes having a naturally higher threshold and some being artificially raising the ceiling, Saitama was different. You see, Saitama broke his God-given limit. And, according to Doctor Genus, this makes his strength scientifically unmeasurable.
DAM: And the reason for this, as explained my the best forearm workout in Psykos, is because Saitama went through a personally tailored Hell and overcame death. Ha, overcame.
Hazzamo: With this lack of a limit, Saitama has pushed himself beyond what a human can do. His strength, speedy, agility, durability, and stamina are far beyond what even his most powerful peers can keep with. Coupled with an unbreakable will and invulnerability to any attack he's taken thus far, Saitama is a force to be reckoned with.
Zivon: Lest we forget Saitama's series of attacks. His normal series is where he holds the most back, with a simple strike and numerous normal punches. When he has a more serious threat on his hands, he'll upgrade to his serious series, which utilizes his strongest punch in the Serious Punch, Serious Headbutt, Serious Table Flip, and Serious Consecutive Side Hops.
DAM: And lest we forget his yet-to-connect Death Punch, with a gust of wind that blew a mountain to dust. As much as a parody of an anime character as he is, Saitama is easily among the strongest. He's defeated Boros, Orochi, and Garou, tanked blows that destroyed cities or sent him to the moon, punched harder than a blast that could destroy the surface of a planet, moved faster than Speed-o'-Sound Sonic could see, easily resisted Tatsumaki's telekinetic powers, and flipped the Monster Association's headquarters. And let's put some numbers on those.
Hazzamo: As we know, the minimal energy needed to destroy the Earth would be 53 quadrillion megatons. But, to destroy the surface of the planet would require only a mere 1% of Earth be destroyed in the crust. So it would would still be a force of 530 trillion megatons of TNT Saitama overtook.
Zivon: Plus, thanks to our handy folks on the real Death Battle, Saitama's serious table flip would flip three billion tons of rock. And finally, for speed, we can scale to Saitama moving faster than Speed-o'-Sound Sonic could see. As Sonic is stated to be of hypersonic, which is at least Mach 5 speeds, we can determine the speed based off of what we know of reaction time, with the average person being able to perceive motion with 13 milliseconds. As Sonic's reaction time and speed are comparable from all given material, this would mean he could perceive things 137 times faster than a human as he is equally faster, equaling 94 microseconds. To move a foot as quickly as he did to intercept the sword means Saitama moved at Mach 9 speeds, nearly 7,000 miles per hour. That's two-and-a-half times faster than Lockheed Blackbird, the fastest jet ever built. Keep in mind these are base-level estimates.
DAM: Once again, how the fuck do you stop this guy? Well, he's incredibly impatient and cocky, putting a 20 word cap on monologues and never reacting to a lot of blows until they hit. And those goddamn mosquitoes!
Hazzamo: Additionally, Saitama has some limits left to him, as shown in his eating contest or his mental shortcomings on tests.
Zivon: Finally, Saitama is constantly holding back. While it is to his own benefit and those around him, it has led to him taking a lot of punishment, particularly in his fight with Boros or Carnage Kabuto.
DAM: Seriously, we have not even seen this guy get a lasting wound yet, I'm dying to see this fight go down!
"Not again...All it took was one punch! Dammit!"
Saitama:
Age: 25
Height: 5'9"
Weight: 154 lbs.
Abilities:
Superhuman Strength, Speed, Endurance, Durability, and Agility
Invulnerability
Normal Series
- Normal Punch
- Consecutive Normal Punches
Series Series
- Serious Punch
- Serious Headbutt
- Serious Table Flip
- Serious Consecutive Side Hops
Death Punch
Feats:
Defeated Boros, Garou, and Orochi
No-sold being hit with several city-leveling punches and being sent to the moon
Broke his Limiter
Moved faster than Speed-o'-Sound Sonic could see
Resisted Tatsumaki's telekinesis and the Collapsing Star Roaring Cannon
Flipped the Monster Association Base
Weaknesses:
Brash
Hot-headed
Careless
Still has some limits
Zivon: Alright, these combatants are set, let's settle this debate once and for all.
Hazzamo: We have Doomsday, the Ultimate Lifeform, and Saitama, the One Punch Man.
DAM: It's time for a Death Battle!
The sun rises over City Z, signaling the beginning to the morning commute of its citizens on foot or by car. One such man was on a bicycle, a glare on his goggled bringing his attention to a comet streaking across the sky. Strolling through the streets were a muscular duo in tanktops, who were cheered and lauded by the crowd around them, "Look, it's Tanktop Tiger and Tanktop Black Hole!"
"They're so dreamy!"
"See, son, those are the real heroes."
"Sick gains, brah!"
"Thank you, citizens, thank you," Tanktop Tiger responded, waving a hand, "But don't cheer us yet, we're just here on a morning patrol to make sure everything is a-okay."
"That's right, brother. Alone, we're near unstoppable but, together, no criminals would ever dream to plot any sort of evil. And let the heavens fall on us if I'm wrong." Tanktop Black Hole bragged.
Just then, a blinding light streamed across the sky, bashing through several skyscrapers before slamming into the street before them, plowing a massive gouge as it came to a stop. From the smoke rose the silhouette of a massive, jagged being. Stepping out with a thunderous crash of each foot, the monstrosity revealed itself, lowering itself and roaring at the intimidated brothers. Surveying their surroundings, Tiger realized that the people had spread out in a circle around the three of them, ready to watch a fight. Cracking a smirk, he shouted, "Fear not, citizens! This monster will be no match for the likes of the Tanktop brothers! Show them, bro."
Black Hole looked at his brother in shock, regaining his composure before stammering, "Oh...um, yeah. Totally! Take this, you freak!"
Tanktop Black Hole lunged at Doomsday, raising his fist over his head to club down on the beast. Doomsday met him with an uppercut to the stomach, impaling Tanktop Black Hole through the stomach and drawing a gasp of shock from the crowd. A trembling Black Hole looked from his wound into Doomsday's eyes, the beast grabbing his head and twisting it around a full 180 degrees. Doomsday cast the corpse aside, glaring at a panicking Tanktop Tiger, pasted in sweat and grimacing. In an instant, the hero turned and began to sprint the opposite direction, panting out incoherent screaming gibberish. Doomsday leveled his fist at Tiger and his spikes shot out at the fleeing hero, impaling him through the back and out the chest before reeling him in. Tiger's fingers left a small trail dug through the asphalt as he was dragged back, people all around screaming and fleeing the scene as the saw blood coursing from his mouth. "Please, somebody, save me!"
His pleading was met with Doomsday seizing him by the elbow, raising him overhead as he grasped the adjacent knee. Tiger's screams grew more pained and frantic as Doomsday stretched him out, abruptly tearing the hero in half at the waist. In that instant, a man shouted, "Justice crash!"
With that, Mumen Rider leapt from his bike, allowing it to crash into Doomsday's back without so much as a mark or movement from the beast. Doomsday dropped the halves of Tiger's corpse and turned to face Rider, a bead of sweat trailing down his cheek as he charged at the beast, shouting, "Justice tackle!"
Rider sprung at the beast with his hands outstretched, his spear interrupted by a rising knee to the gut that sent a shard of jagged bone through his abdomen. Rider lie limp over Doomsday's knee, shakily inhaling his breath as he propped a hand on Doomsday's thigh to face the beast. He brought his trembling fist back, mustering, "J-justice punch!"
Doomsday caught the blow in his palm, immediately retching it to an excruciating angle before tearing his arm off at the shoulder. Mumen Rider grasped the bloody wound where his arm once was and shrieked in agony, Doomsday grasping him by the head and lifting him up before him. With a quick tightening of his fist, Rider's skull was rendered into paste, dropping his corpse before him and trampling it as he rampaged on into the city in panic.
An alarm clock blared in a small apartment, the clock being crushed under the fist of a bald man. The man stood up and stretched, scratching his bald head before turning on the television. "We now go live to the scene of another monster incident."
The anchor's word's made the man in his pajamas snap around to face the screen, pinky still lodged deep in his nostril. The screen recorded a gray, jagged monster hurling vehicles and brutally murdering any who got in its way, the camera cutting to the reporter stating, "This monster fell from the sky and has immediately caused a lot of damage to the city. He's killed three C-class heroes and we are currently advising a threat level of Demon. All citizens should..." the reporter drew off, fear turning his face pale as the cameraman slowly turned and found Doomsday towering over them.
The feed cut to static, the door to the man's apartment swinging open as a siren blared loud enough to be heard all over the city.
An entire street lie in ruin, the road crumbled, cars and bodies strewn about, and fires blazing all about. A young girl in pigtails meanders through the street blindly, wiping away the tears all around her eyes as she cries out for her parents. Her wandering was met with her bumping into something that knocked her on her pants, looking up to find Doomsday looming over her. The girl only sobbed into her hands, Doomsday raising a foot to crush the girl before him. With a slam of his foot into the pavement, rubble flew in all directions in a gust. The beast was almost surprised by the fact no gore caked the road, lifting his foot to reveal no sign of the girl. "Hey," called a voice down the street, the beast looking up with a grumble.
The bald man stood with the girl in his arms, setting her down to run along her way, dressed in a yellow suit, white cape, and red gloves. The man turned his attention to Doomsday once more, the wind gently blowing his cape up as he said, "Wow, you look kinda freaky."
Doomsday roared before charging at Saitama, raising his fist before hurling it at Saitama. In an instant, Doomsday was hurled back and folded over himself, Saitama's steaming fist extended before him. The beast crashed into a building that collapsed down on him, Saitama's expressionless face staring on as he silently lamented, "Well, that was fun."
The hero turned to leave the scene before a rumble caught his attention, Doomsday bursting out of the rubble with a leap. The beast landed just before Saitama, looming over him before unleashing a furious roar on him. Saitama cracked a smirk, beaming, "Hey, you survived a punch? Alright, this could be interesting."
FIGHT!
Doomsday hurled a fist at Saitama, the gust from the blow enveloping the hero in dust and obscuring him from sight. As the dust dissipated, Doomsday growled in shock, Saitama standing where he had before with Doomsday's fist pressing against his forehead. "Ah, man," Saitama lamented, "Don't tell me you're as weak as all the others. I've really got high hopes for this."
Doomsday suddenly grasped the hero by the skull, driving him face-first into the pavement and making his head crane to the side as he stood vertically on his cheek. The beast grabbed Saitama by the ankle and hurled him down the street, the force of the hero zinging by sending any cowering pedestrians soaring in all directions. The hero slammed headfirst through a hydrant, shattering it like glass before being plastered up against a concrete wall and leaving a deep impact crater in it. Doomsday was already on Saitama, uppercutting him in the stomach and blasting a hole through the wall. The beast wheeled Saitama around crushed him into the ground beneath his fist. Unsatisfied, the beast reared back on one foot with a roar, stomping onto Saitama's face and driving his skull deeper into the earth. "Not bad," Saitama responded, punching Doomsday in the ankle with a cringe-inducing crack that dropped the beast to a knee, "My turn."
The hero leapt into the air and twirled about with a cocked fist, smashing it into the back of Doomsday's head and burying his head into the concrete. Saitama drew his foot back and punted the beast between the legs, sending him somersaulting over himself for several yards. The beast rose to its knees before cupping its crotch in both hands, moaning in agony before dropping onto one of its hands. Saitama extended a hand to the creature, comforting, "Oh my, gosh, I'm so sorry! That was an accident, I don't fight that way."
Doomsday responded by once more grasping Saitama's skull and driving it into the pavement once more, dragging him along as he sprinted through the streets. Finally, the beast hurled Saitama down the road, gouging it has he flew on and into a skyscraper, the building being knocked off its foundation and crumbling onto Saitama like a demolition. Doomsday lumbered over to the rubble he had created, lurching out and roaring in victory at what he had done. The beast stomped away to wreak more havoc and destruction, only for the rumble beneath to explode upward, revealing Saitama standing atop the mess, smiling. Doomsday's fury grew as he glared at Saitama, leaping up into the air and plummeting down at him with his fist raised. His descent was met with a fist to the gut, leaving him limp over Saitama's fist before a cross across the cheek with the other fist sent him rocketing back down the street.
Saitama sprinted past Doomsday, balling his fists overhead before slamming them down on the crown of the monster's skull. In that instant, Saitama threw his knee up into Doomsday's chin, arching his head back at an excruciating angle before booting the beast into the sky with a full extension of his leg. As Doomsday's ascent slowed, Saitama appeared behind the monster in a flash, commenting, "Hey," before chopping him in the back of the head, shooting him back down to the earth.
A cloud erupted up from Doomsday's crash-landing, the sprawled-out Doomsday lying in a perfect outline of himself in the concrete. Saitama strolled up beside the prone beast, remarking, "Alright, this is starting to get interesting. I can tell you're nowhere near finished yet. So, what do ya say, how about you show me what you're made of and I'll do the same?"
With that, the blades on Doomsday's fist shot out and imbedded themselves in Saitama's chest, the hero barely able to react before being pulled in by the beast. Saitama was met with an uppercut that catapulted him into the sky, pulling him back down once again to kick him in the chest. Saitama crashed through the concrete and glass of an upper floor of building, Doomsday grasping his extended claw in both hands and twisting with all his might. The beast dragged Saitama out of the building and spun him in all directions, bashing him through entire floors of adjacent buildings before hauling him in one last time. Doomsday brought his leg back and flung his knee up into Saitama's stomach, the jagged bone jutting up from it grinding into Saitama's organs and bones as he was propelled up through the clouds.
Saitama tumbled up into the sky, thinking to himself, Man, I gotta admit, he hits pretty hard. But let's see if he can take a little more.
Completing his thought, Saitama righted himself and threw his fist where he was still ascending towards, shooting himself back down to the ground as the clouds parted in his wake. Doomsday could merely look up at his foe before being met with an elbow over the head, driving him face-first into the ground in a similar manner he had done to Saitama. Unrelenting, the hero grasped Doomsday by the ankle, turning and slamming him into the ground before him, blasting all rubble in the vicinity through the surrounding buildings. "Consecutive normal punches."
Saitama unleashed a flurry of punches with such speed it left afterimages of his fist, Doomsday convulsing from every blow as they created small divots in his flesh. The ground beneath Doomsday erupted and sent the beast plummeting into an even larger crater, his body and the hole steaming as much as Saitama's fist. "Hey, buddy," Saitama called out, reigniting the light in Doomsday's hateful gaze, "I don't mean to ask too much of you but do you think we can keep going? This is the most fun I've had in a long time and I'm not quite ready for it to end yet."
In an instant, Doomsday had sprung up at Saitama, making him gasp in surprise. The hero managed to react in time and chop the beast over the head, lowering his trajectory but doing nothing to stop the beast from spearing him and taking them both up into the air. The two crashed through several buildings at ascending levels, finally crashing into a deep canyon beyond the city. The two tumbled like ragdolls across the dirt, Doomsday regaining his footing first and sprinted alongside Saitama. Saitama blocked a left hook from him but was still sent careening off balance, unable to defend himself in his tumbling state from a cross kick across the cheek that nearly loosened his jaw. Doomsday grasped Saitama by his cape as he nearly soared off, wheeling him around and choking him as he swung him around. Finally, the beast tugged Saitama down to him and met him with a knee blade to the chin, his body arching back as he crashed onto his knees and knelt before the beast, unmoving. Unsatisfied, Doomsday parted his arms, the blades on his knuckles extending out to several times their original, and slammed them into both sides of Saitama's skull, the hero collapsing forward once the beast retracted his fists
Doomsday stared down at his foe, the lack of movement giving him a satisfaction greater than any of his previous kills. The beast let loose a low growl as the claws sunk back into his hand, turning and trudging back towards the city, sensing it still teemed with life. "You know what? I like about you." Saitama called out, stopping the beast in its tracks.
"You don't have these massive monologues I've heard so many times before. You don't even talk. You just keep your mouth shut and fight. That's why I like you and think you're worthy enough for me to step it up."
Doomsday turned to find Saitama somersaulting at him, cracking him over the top of the head with an axe kick that sent all loose sediment blasting out of the canyon. Doomsday was driven into the earth up to his shoulders, his arms pinned at his side as Saitama stated, "Let's see how you handle this. Consecutive normal punches."
Saitama once more struck Doomsday all about the head with numerous strikes, his jaw dangling from is skull by a single strand of flesh and skull visibly dented in numerous spots. Saitama took notice of numerous gray strands of flesh shooting out like tendrils and reconnecting Doomsday's jaw, commenting, "Huh, so you regenerate, too? Interesting."
Doomsday's fist flew up from the rock that pinned him, blades extended once more as one approached Saitama's eye. "Serious series...serious headbutt."
Saitama merely threw his head forward and obliterated Doomsday's entire arm, gore and gray flesh pasted the beast as it roared in pain. Taking advantage of the beast's pain, Saitama squatted down and dug his fingers into the rock, calling out, "Serious series. Serious table flip!"
Saitama stood and flung his arms up, tearing half of the canyon and dozens of yards of crust from the earth free, flipping into the air with a pinned Doomsday. Saitama appeared on the side of the revolving rock opposite Doomsday, rearing back before slamming his fist into the rock, launching the massive projectile back down. The ungodly rock smashed into the ground with an earth-shattering clap, driving the new canyon that had been dug out even deeper into the Earth's crust and filled a quarter of the way to the brim with rocks. Saitama stood at the precipice of the new scar on the Earth, remarking, "Let's see how he handled that."
Sure enough, rubble began to shift near the surface closest to Saitama and Doomsday arose, arm regenerated but resting on a hand and knee, as if collecting himself. "Now that's what I'm talking about! Hell yeah!" Saitama cheered, unable to contain his glee.
Enraged, Doomsday grasped the largest boulder under his hand and hurled it up at Saitama, the hero easily rendering it dust with a throw of his fist. Suddenly, Doomsday sprung through the dust before Saitama and crashed two boulders together over the heroes head, earning him cross to the cheek in the immediate aftermath. Doomsday spiraled like a bullet away from Saitama, skidding to a stop near the far side of the new canyon's precipice. Doomsday rolled back onto his feet with the momentum and sprinted at Saitama in a burst, the two collided with a fist across the other's cheek. Blurs of the duo crashed all across the upper canyon, causing landslides with each titanic clash of the duo. Saitama nailing Doomsday directly in the center of the face with a hook. Doomsday lifting Saitama off the ground with a body shot. Saitama bending Doomsday backwards with a roundhouse kick. Doomsday sending Saitama's body sailing out from under him with a heel to the face. A backhanded fist that twisted Doomsday around. A knee to Saitama's spine.
Finally, the two smashed into each other fist to fist, a mushroom cloud rising overhead as the were blasted back from one another. The foes glared at each other, the upper canyon now no longer existent from its sides having collapsed in and leveled off. Doomsday licked his chops as Saitama glowered from beneath his brow, each disappearing in a flash as they charged once more. "Serious series..."
The two appeared before another in similar poses, slightly kneeling, one arm raised off to the side and their fist brought low. As they pivoted on their back foot, the ground beneath their feet cracked like ice "Serious punch."
The hero and the monster struck each other with massive uppercuts that shot them both up like rockets, the resulting blast uprooting trees and clearing several miles of forest.
An emotionless Saitama slammed into a familiar crater, the rubble slowly falling back onto him. Wow, it happened again?
Saitama's cheeks bulged out and he plugged his nose, disgusted by the stench of outer space. He sat up and swung his head in all directions, having his face seized by Doomsday as he was raised off the ground. A hook to the side left him dangling from the monster's fist. Oh, man, that actually hurt.
Left floating before him, Doomsday clubbed his fists together and slammed them over Saitama's back, pinning him between them and a knee to the chest. He's taken everything I can throw at him and keeps getting up.
The beast takes Saitama by the back of the head and drives his face into the moon's surface. Saitama pushed himself up to his hands and knees, blood spilling down his face from a gash over his eyebrow. It's almost like he's getting strong with everything I hit him with. Man, this might actually be it.
Doomsday gently nestled a finger under Saitama's chin, raising him up to a knee before crossing his cheek with a hard shot. Just as Saitama leaned of balance, he was sent teetering to the other side with another hook. Doomsday unleashed a slowly increasing barrage of strikes that sent Saitama bobbing in all directions like a speedbag. Finally, the beast grabbed Saitama by the top of his head, bringing his fist back and extending the blades out one final time. This is it.
Doomsday hurled his spiky fist at Saitama, his arm obliterated in an instant from the kneeling superhero as the moon moved several feet. Suddenly, Doomsday's other arm evaporated in a gory blast, the moon moving back to its original position. Undeterred, the beast reared back and through its gaping maw onto Saitama, clamping down on only an afterimage of the hero. Doomsday looked over his shoulder to see Saitama looming over him, fist raised back as his eyes glowed.
死
Saitama appeared massive before the beast and his fist the size of Doomsday himself hurled at him, the gloved appendage reflecting in Doomsday's eyes. Saitama's fist sunk deep into Doomsday's skull, protruding out the back and unleashed an unrelenting blast that sent shards of the shattered moon in all directions. Doomsday's flesh tore off and evaporated in the blast, revealing his bones that soon ground into oblivion.
A shooting star appeared visible over City Z, streaking across the sky with a smoky tail as it careened into the city. Having arrived on the scene, a blonde android stood amidst the people panicking and stampeding around him, one shouting, "Oh, no, he's coming back!"
The extraterrestrial fireball crashed into the city merely a block from Genos, a fireball and shockwave erupting out that engulfed the android as he braced himself. Every window in the city shattered from the impact, those closest to it crumbled to rocks and the city trembled as if an earthquake had struck it. As the blinding light ceased, Genos lowered his arms and gasped in shock at the destruction. Just before his feet was the precipice of the crater, nearby intact buildings tilted and knocked over. Lying in the smoking center of the hole was a familiar yellow-clad figure, Genos leaping down into the hole as he shouted, "Master!"
The cyborg sprinted to his master's side, speechless as he saw him sit up and hold his head, emotionless as ever. Genos knelt beside his master, congratulating him, "Master, you did it. You defeated yet another beast. But it appears this time it left a mark. Are you alright?"
Saitama appeared shell shocked, shadows engulfing his face and hiding his visage. Genos took notice of his silence, reassuring, "Master, are you alright?!"
"No, I'm not," Saitama replied, turning to face Genos with tears waving down his face and snot running out of a nostril, "I just had the greatest fight ever! And now I'll never get another like it!"
Saitama sobbed into his hands before a shocked Genos, the cyborg comforting, "Master, I ensure you you will yet find a match for your immense strength and skill. I swear that I will one day find you such an opponent, even if it means I will be such a figure."
"Really, you mean that?"
"Certainly."
Just then, a girl in gothic attire on a broomstick above called out to them, her ebony hair flowing over her corsette as she waved a wand about carelessly as she said, "God evning, u filhty prepz1! Ive cum 2 rid za waldo (AN: ged it, cuz is a Jo Jo reference, fangz Zion96) of suck dickspicable prepz! Behold; my jue power. Abra kedab..."
The girl was instantly vaporized by Saitama's punch that he apathetically threw in her direction, the hero looking down at his steaming hand as he lamented, "Back to just one punch...again...DAMMIT!"
K.O.!
DAM: Fuck, FUCK, FUCK! We're never going to hear the end of this. Ever. Fuck this, I quit. Have fun, you guys.
Zivon: We'll do our best. Whenever someone in this fight launched an attack or took on the defensive, it was the ultimate case of an unstoppable force and an immovable object. This is easily our closest fight to date with both being immensely difficult to damage and Doomsday never staying dead. Plus, speed was negated as Saitama was faster but their equal reaction time made that irrelevant. But Saitama had the few key factors that would ultimately pull him the victory. First, Saitama has taken punishment with consistently less damage. Yes, if we assume the Tsar Bomba at the high end for the nuke feat of Doomsday, which we're being generous on to begin with since it's a hydrogen bomb, he survived the equivalent of 50 million megatons of TNT. While Saitama being sent to the moon was a mere 167 megatons, we have to consider the fact Doomsday has been harmed by less. Like when he was incinerated to the bones, while Saitama was merely singed by a similar attack. Or being beaten to death. Or being beaten to death again.
Hazzamo: So that begs the question, can Saitama strike Doomsday hard enough to put him down for a while?
Zivon: This leads us down an interesting path. Doomsday has thresholds of what he can survive. Despite how adaptive he is and how quickly he can heal, it can be overtaxed. While a million Tsar Bombas is impressive, consider his next few deaths: turned to a skeleton and beaten to death by a group of super beings. A massive explosion such as the one he survived would reasonably have to boost his adaptability, yet the energy of Imperiex reduced him to a skeleton because it was pure energy. He has been beaten to death by Superman but the combined strength of Superman, Supergirl, and numerous Kandorians put him down. The force is obviously nowhere near that of the explosion yet Doomsday died and the moon wasn't obliterated or even left with a massive crater as a result. What's more, this occured due to his skull and vital brain being damaged. So it stands to very obvious reason Saitama can hit him harder and put him down for a while when him simply jumping from the moon caused more damage.
DAM: But Zivon, that was numerous super beings who did that, clearly it's different, right? There's no way Saitama can beat him to death. Also, you guys are wrong, suck, and should kill yourselves!
Zivon: Childish remarks about characters that don't exist nor matter aside, Saitama's serious punch was holding back, according to Boros, and even then it stopped a surface-leveling attack. So even when Saitama starts to take it seriously, he can strike with a force that can wipe out the surface of a planet or destroy the Earth, as his creator has said. So that means that Saitama can hit with a baseline force one billion times greater than Doomsday's most impressive no sell. Keep in mind, the blast that destroyed a fifth of a planet killed Doomsday. And, again, there's nothing in Doomsday's history of survival that shows he's capable of coming back from such a blow. Because even an improved Superman's strikes in the same fight had nowhere near the destructive yield of what encompassed Doomsday in that blast.
DAM: But if Doomsday came back again, Saitama was screwed! You guys are biased jackoff fuck boys!
Zivon: Stop prodding the bears, you moron! This is the interesting part where we will no doubt get the No Limits Fallacy cried upon us. The thing is, Saitama has broken through his Limiter, giving him power that even S-class heroes can't believe and Boros, a planet buster, was convinced Saitama was holding back while defeating him. Keep in mind, Dr. Genus, a brilliant scientist, could measure no limit to his power. Scientifically speaking, we can measure incomprehensibly massive things. The force of a supernova, the size of the universe, and the speed of light, to name a few. The fact that we scientifically cannot measure Saitama's power is every indication he is actually limitless in his power. Doomsday, however, does have limits to how strong he is and what he can withstand. Sure, he overcomes it but the limits are there. And, on a final note, Saitama has struck a being with a healing factor so immense they can regroup from being liquidized that it couldn't heal, so its clear he can strike beyond what immensely powerful beings are capable of, especially when those beings do so with energy stored to do so.
DAM: Alright, even if we grant Doomsday could get killed, he wouldn't be put down for good, you dickheads! Eventually he'd kill Saitama.
Zivon: There lies a massive pair of problems. One, Doomsday has yet to display a force that can come close to harming Saitama. By basic rules of physics, Saitama must be able to endure the force he puts out, and we've yet to see Doomsday strike anywhere near planet-busting levels, let alone even a city-level. And before we cite New 52, that Doomsday died the easiest death of all and stayed dead. Second, Doomsday can sustain himself for millenia with his solar energy he can store. Once you die, all energy ceases and nothing grows, including your hair or fingernails, that's a myth that they continue to grow. When Doomsday dies, it's the energy he stored up that helps him. That's why, when he crashed to Earth, it took him so long to revive. It was a combination of extensive damage and no ability to absorb solar radiation. Plus, if we refer back to New 52 or just the basics limits we've seen, we have yet to see Doomsday come back from his body being destroyed. He had a skeleton left from Imperiex and Superman ripping him in half and inhaling his essence kept him dead. Granted how enormously difficult that would be, if Saitama either destroyed his body or deprived it of all energy before the fatal blow, he could permanently kill Doomsday while Doomsday could never do enough damage to Saitama to even leave a lasting wound. Again, we have seen nothing Doomsday can hit with that would indicate anywhere near what Saitama has tanked. Finally, no, the Phantom Zone is less a strength feat and more a feat of Doomsday's immense adaptability. All Saitama needs to do is strike Doomsday with the force to vaporize his body. Like he did to most of the body of a rapidly-healing Boros who relied on energy to do these things. And, might we add, Doomsday only came back from his death at Imperiex's hands due to Lex Luthor literally rebuilding him.
DAM: Alright, jackass, what's that temperature then?
Zivon: Simple. To refer back to our, again, overly generous Tsar Bomba equation, the resutling explosion would be around 10 quadrillion degrees celsius, well over 666,000,000 times the temperature of the sun's core. However, considering Saitama can strike with blow a billion times greater in force and heat energy than Doomsday's feat, then the heat of such a blow would be, for a fleeting moment, comparable to the temperature of the universe within fractions of a second of its genesis, which is just a little over one-million of a percent of absolute heat, in which all physics breaks down. Logically speaking, the force Imperiex used to render him to a skeleton is, as we've shown, likely nowhere near even lunar-destorying levels of force. All this adds up to one simple thing: Doomsday's healing and resurrection have limits to which he can't come back from. And the visible steam coming off of Saitama's fist from a punch only adds to this. Sure, Superman is strong but the fact planets aren't rupturing from the force of his blows against Doomsday is indicative he's not going all out.
DAM: We're still going to have to listen to them bitch, aren't we?
Zivon: Probably. I'm just proud of how thorough this was. Truth be told, I thought Doomsday had it until we got to Saitama's limiter.
Hazzamo: It was close, but Doomsday just couldn't compete with Saitama's durability and strength.
DAM: Looks like Saitama just made sure it wasn't Doom's day.
Zivon: The winner is Saitama.
Next Time on Death Battle:
Rapier...
A white-haired girl in a white dress aims her hand at a giant suit of living armor, launching it into the air with an explosive glyph...
Weiss Schnee
Vs.
Rapier...
A red-haired girl in a white suit aims her red sword at the throat of Kirito...
Yuuki Asuna
Oh, man, I can already feel those reviews. Go ahead, make my day. Hope everyone is safe with everything going on. Thought I might as well come out of hibernation to contribute content to help people get through the day and be entertained. Soon, I'll be a licensed teacher...God help those students. See you guys in whatever I update next. Don't forget to leave a little love here, on my other stuff, and with my friends. And don't forget to cite your DAM sources.