Episode 2 – Winx
*Ganasta's paradise plays and Grimmjow enters the stage and a fan bra flies through the crowd and hits him in the face*
Grimmjow: *Removes bra and grimaces* Only clean underwear may be thrown; burn this *tosses bra to Nemu who opens her midsection and tosses it into her built in furnace*
Grimmjow: *Wide eyed* I didn't know she was a robot.
Rogue: She isn't, that psychotic clown experiments on her and that bullshit Soul Society allows it *growls at the soul reapers*
Renji: It's not like we make the rules, go fight with Yamaji. Time for the guests
Grimmjow: *eye twitches and he pulls at his collar* No one told me we were having strippers on…
Kurotsuchi: Idiot; if you bothered to read the data supplied prior to the show you'd know that these are fairies.
Grimmjow: *looks at the paper planes around him* I was bored and found better use for them. Wait a sec Fairies exist?
Rogue: You're a ghost and you exist.
Rangiku: Well if these 5 girls are here you must have some reason to burn them….
Rogue: *smirks evilly*
Renji: Let's just get on with this before my captain finds out I skipped work to do this stupid show
Rogue: If you think it's stupid; why are you here?
Renji: Ichigo said I couldn't handle it
Icy: You just got played
Bloom: Icy what are you doing here? Magic Winx *music starts playing as all the winx transform*
Grimmjow: What the fuck is this shit? If you were in a fight with me you'd be dead by now quit the awful music and poses. Argh my ears are bleeding!
Rangiku: I didn't think they could look sluttier….
Grimmjow: Don't you usually have your valley of the boobs on display? Oh look there they are *looks longingly at Rangiku's cleavage* I would love to get lost in that Valley.
Kurotsuchi: Make that blasted music stop!
Rogue: Oh it takes a while…
Icy: Why can't I be on a show without drama queens – all I wanted was world domination….
Grimmjow: You and me both honey, What's your name *Gives Icy bedroom eyes*
Icy: *smirks and sashays to Grimmjow* They call me Icy *blasts Grimmjow with a little cold air*
Grimmjow: Maybe I should warm you up…
Rangiku: *Hits Grimmjow on the head with the sheathed Heineko* You have a show to do, stop seducing the guest.
Grimmjow: The other 5 retards are still doing the transformation dance. Are you jealous?
Rangiku: Puh leeze
Rogue: Jealousy makes you nasty
Rangiku: You're trying to ship us!
Rogue: *Looking innocently* whatever do you mean
Bloom: Icy I'm coming for you!
Grimmjow: You can't attack each other! This is a talk show. You may fight when the bell rings, without powers and in the mudpit wearing the provided attire.
Rangiku: Seriously Grimmjow? Why does the 'attire' look like two sets of strings with barely enough to cover their nipples or nether areas?
Grimmjow: It's mud appropriate
Rogue: You're fucking kidding me right? You do realize we're going to have to go through another one of their transformations with their shitty music
Grimmjow: *Takes out camera* Hey Nemu mind getting that watermelon tentacle monster out?
Rangiku: Just when I thought you couldn't get more disgusting
Stella: Why is no one paying attention to me?
Rogue: Why is it that though you're the reincarnation of Daphne; Daphne was still resurrected? *looks at Rukia* can one soul inhabit 2 bodies?
Rukia: Nope
Grimmjow: They're even involved with different men….
Rogue: I oppose Musa and Rivin!
Musa: What? Why?
Rogue: Riven and Musa don't look as good as Riven and Tecna do, I thought they were pairing Tecna with Riven initially then all off a sudden Riven's with Musa?
Rangiku: Plot holes and bunnies
Rukia: Wait did the bunny fall down a hole?
Everyone: *face palm*
Rogue: Where's Ichigo when we need him?
Renji: Visiting Tatsuki in hospital, she got food poisoning
Grimmjow: Orihime?
Renji: Orihime
Rangiku: I thought it was delicious and I'm fine
Rogue: Maybe it has something to do with the colossal size of your boobs…
*Bell rings*
Grimmjow: Now put on your bikini's and get into that mud and fight!
Bloom: Let's transform! Winx Encantr-
Rogue: Now Rukia!
Rukia: Hakuren! *Winx trapped in various stages of undress in ice*
Grimmjow: This is not fucking fair! Last time you shot someone now you've frozen the guests to death!
Rogue: *Shrugs* they had it coming, all that euro trash transformation music needed to stop.
Icy: Hey how come you could kill them with your ice? I've tried freezing them several times and they break out.
Rukia: It takes one heroine to take out another; well in this case 5. Let's be honest their fighting isn't worth shit. All they do is throw pretty colours around.
Renji: Did anyone else notice that they aren't fully dressed *pulls at his collar*
Kurotsuchi: Nemu come here and help me take them to the soul society to study them, I would have appreciated a live specimen *glares at Rogue*
Rogue: Want to find yourself in my specimen jar bitch?
Kurotsuchi: One day I will unlock the secret of fanfiction and then you can be a test subject.
Grimmjow: He's creepy
Renji: He's the Soul Reaper version of Szayel
Grimmjow: *Whispers to Rogue* Maybe you should burn him next….
Rogue: His time is coming wait until we troll bleach itself.
Rukia: Why would you want to troll Bleach? I thought you loved us.
Rangiku: Have you seen the size of our plot holes and the numerous plot bunnies?
Rukia: Bunnies? Where? *Starts crawling around looking for bunnies*
Grimmjow: I was supposed to be dead then I'm magically alive
Renji: and somehow all our villains look more or less the same
Rogue: and the whole world of bleach ends up revolving around Ichigo. How the fuck did you survive without Ichigo for over a thousand years?
Rangiku: Why do you think I drink so much? Nothing makes sense
Grimmjow: Seeing as every disaster to befall you guys always involves Ichigo maybe you should just kill him off.
Rukia: Want me to turn you into a Grimmsicle like those fairies? *crazy look in Rukia's eyes*
Grimmjow: Calm down… no one's going to kill Ichigo
Rukia: Good, only I'm allowed to kill him, now where are those bunnies?
Rangiku: Who gave her sugar?
Rogue: I think Kurotsuchi did
Renji: My Captain is going to bankai his ass
Rangiku: He'll bankai yours if you don't get back soon.
Grimmjow: Well I think that's the end of the show *looks at Icy* wanna make out?
Icy: Come here big boy
Rangiku: Oh please*Pushes Icy in the mud pool and drags Grimmjow off stage by the ear*
Grimmjow: My poor ear *glares at Rangiku*
Ichigo: *Walks in red faced* Why was Kurotsuchi moving around half naked girls in ice
Rogue: Ask Rukia
Rukia: Ask Rogue
Ichigo: *looks between Rogue and Rukia and sighs* Never mind
Grimmjow: You didn't let me have my Jerry Springer moment
Rangiku: You just wanted to perve over those girls scantily clad and rolling in mud
Grimmjow: Not rolling, rubbing deliciously against each other and losing more clothing….
Renji: *Nose bleeds* It's a good thing Uryu isn't around…
Rangiku: Lose more clothing? Seriously!
Ichigo: *Looks and Grimmjow and Rangiku and bumps Rukia's shoulder*
Rukia: Lovers spat
Grimmjow and Rangiku: We are not lovers!
Ichigo: Now you know how I feel
Rogue: So guys we've had some feedback
Rangiku: Yippeeee! Well give it to us
Writophrenic: This is as awesome idea... I love it.
LOL... So funny, I still watch TVD and all I can say is this fic idea is genius. I kept laughing from the first sentence down to the last.
I like how you didn't just troll TVD but also fanfiction in general (mpreg and what not)
And thumbs up for picking Grimmjow as the host...perfect choice :)
Can't wait for the next guests (show) and I hope in future you will be accepting requests from followers and stuff.
Grimmjow: Of course I am the perfect choice, who can be better than me? I have better hair than the other twerps.
Rogue: Thank you Writophrenic; yes we will be taking requests and suggestions. This is an interactive fan fic.
Rangiku: Just don't join the writer in her obsession to pair us up
Rogue: Maybe you want to be paired up… I didn't say I was pairing you up you said so yourself. Grimmjow is pretty versatile with lots of characters; Nel, Orihime and I saw one where he was paired with Rukia
Ichigo: I will fucking kill you
Rangiku: Someone is protective…
Ichigo: I'd protect you from him if you wanted me to but you're a big soul reaper and I'm sure you won't need my help
Rukia: Are you calling me weak *punches Ichigo and walks away while Ichigo runs after her*
Rogue: It's taking a little too long for those 2 to get their shit together…. Doesn't Ichigo have hormones and all those other things that normal guys do?
Grimmjow: He's part Soul Reaper, part Quincy, part hollow and I wouldn't be surprized if his grandmother turned out to be a mod soul and his great grandfather a Vizard. That's boys DNA is complicated.
Guest: LOL
Rangiku: That's it? LOL does that even mean anything?
Grimmjow: Well LOL to you to Honey
Rangiku: Uryu needs to come back; he's the voice of modesty and decency
Rogue: He's gay and hot for Ichigo
Rangiku: I thought it was Renji…
Rogue: Renji and Ichigo are pretty similar… and apparently they grow into Byakuya
Grimmjow: I thought he had the hots for Orihime
Rangiku: He doesn't
Grimmjow: You're idiots.
Rogue: We got a fave and a follow from darkboy18
Rangiku: So what are we doing next?
Rogue: I was thinking reality TV. Let's bash 'Honey Boo Boo' that deserves to be ridiculed.
Grimmjow: What's that about?
Rogue and Rangiku: *smirk evilly* it's a surprize