"Alright, that concludes today's briefing," Marude intoned, clapping his hands once and standing up. "Please continue with your daily duties. Oh, Mado-san, I need you in my office."

Did I do something wrong? No, it's more likely that I did something right. That's usually why I'm called in to talk to the higher-ups. No use in worrying myself, I'm sure it's fine.

"I've already got Suzuya-kun waiting in there," he continued as they walked. "There's an important matter I need to discuss with you two."

"Oh? What type of matter?" A special mission?

"A reminder on company policy."

Akira's heart dropped. That sounds like I'm in trouble. From her days as a schoolgirl to her career as an investigator, she'd never gotten accustomed to discipline. Model students generally aren't. It hurt when she got chided for running in the halls in grade school, and it hurt now when he was chastised by her boss for being too blunt. Criticism isn't my thing. She tried not to scowl. If Juuzou did something stupid and got me roped into it, I'm gonna wring his neck.

Marude's office was spacious, with sunlight dripping in through the half-closed blinds. There were several chairs in front of the oak desk, one of which was occupied by Juuzou. He didn't seem to notice they were there, and was absently picking at the stitches in his arms. Akira remembered when she'd asked him about them, and he said they were no different than piercings – surgical steel in the upper layer of his skin. An odd body modification, but it obviously held some type of significance to him. Eventually he raised his head as they walked over, one eyebrow perking up in confusion. So he doesn't know what this is about either.

"Now," Marude started, settling into his leather desk chair, "there's no doubt that you are two of our most productive agents. Your skill sets complement one another, so it's good that you're working in tandem now. But while I'm glad you two have formed a closer relationship, it baffles me that two of the best employees here at the CCG completely forgot our company policy on dating between coworkers."

What? Akira turned to Juuzou, who wore a sour expression. Jeez, you don't have to look so disgusted.

"From the looks on your faces, I can tell that you still don't get it," their boss continued. "If two coworkers get into a, shall we say, intimate relationship, they are obligated to tell their supervisor. It works that way here because we are working such a high-risk job, and in a crisis situation, we can't allow our feelings to get in the way of doing what is necessary. Mado-san, I know you've had problems in the past with-"

Don't say his name.

"-prioritizing work and romantic emotions, so I would expect this slip-up from you."

The words hit Akira like an electric shock. She knew her affection for (and later grieving over) Amon hadn't been graceful, but was she really that bad that her supervisor had to "expect" mistakes from her?

"You really do take after your parents, getting together with your fellow investigators. Suzuya, on the other hand – well, I think we all had some preconceived notions about Suzuya's romantic life that conflict with what is apparently true-"

"I'm not gay!" Juuzou cried. "I've told so many people that I'm not gay! Why doesn't anyone believe me?"

"You're wearing rainbow suspenders right now, Suzuya," Akira deadpanned.

"I felt like being colorful today," he muttered. "B-but anyway, Akira and I aren't dating. Not in the slightest. We're two-for-two with your incorrect assumptions, Marude. You know what they say about assuming. If you keep this up, we're both gonna be asses."

"I really don't think that's how the saying goes," Marude chided. "And how many times have I told you to use honorifics with your superiors?"

"They waste time," Akira said. "Like this meeting. Why are we even here? What makes you think we're dating?"

"Several people have mentioned to me that you're arriving and leaving work together. And since that started, they say, you two have been acting closer than usual. You really do act like a couple, with all that playful bickering."

"We act like friends," Akira protested.

"Friends that hate each other," Juuzou added. "Were not bickering like a couple, we just like giving each other shit. It's fun. Livens up the workplace."

"Yes, well, I've had enough of you trying to 'liven up the workplace', considering how counterproductive your efforts tend to be," Marude told the young man. "You're either arguing with your coworkers, or bringing unhealthy treats to our briefings-"

"Hey, you can't deny that those donuts were good," Juuzou interjected, threatening to rise out of his chair in indignation. Akira gently grabbed his arm to rein him in.

"Or your most infamous stunt, where you hijacked and destroyed my personal property-"

"Okay, no need to bring up the motorcycle incident," Akira said quickly. She knew she had stop them before they got heated. The last time Juuzou and Marude had gotten into an argument, curses were yelled, blows were nearly exchanged, and at least one of the aforementioned donuts had been thrown across the room as an attempted weapon. In an effort to defuse the situation, she added, "We're getting off-topic here. How about we let bygones be bygones and focus on the matter at hand?" Sensing the hostility ebbing away, she continued. "With all due respect, sir, I think the conclusion you came to about me and Suzuya was a little hasty. I can confirm that we are not romantically involved. I've just been spending a few days at his place because there's construction near my apartment building. Nothing more, nothing less. Now unless there's another breach of conduct we need to discuss, I'd appreciate it if I could be excused. I'm supposed to be running a tour for some academy students at two, and I need to get going."

There was silence in the room as Marude digested her words. Finally, he sighed and waved his hand.

"Apologies to both of you. You're excused."

"I still can't believe they thought we were dating," Juuzou grumbled as he and Akira walked out to her car.

"I still can't believe I had to keep you and Marude from fighting. You're both grown-ass adults, and yet you can't even have a conversation that doesn't devolve into whining and bitching at each other over stupid things."

"It's not my fault he can't let the past go."

"Yeah, but he's your boss. You think I like everything he says? Absolutely not, but sometimes you just have to be the bigger person and let it go."

"Mm. Whatever. Anything you want to do tonight?"

"I was actually thinking we should go to the grocery store. I could teach you how to cook, if you want."

"Really?" His face lit up a though she'd just given him a new quinque. "That'd be so cool! What do you want to make?"

"You like sugar, right? We could try making a cake."

"I thought you didn't like cooking things from boxes. Doesn't the batter-powder stuff come pre-packaged?"

"We'd be making it from scratch. No box. I do it all the time."

"You can make cake without the box?" he cried, incredulous. Akira turned her eyes from the road to look at him, and couldn't help laughing at his amazed expression. That's not just being excited. Those are the eyes of a man who has seen God. "What? What's so funny?" When she didn't stop giggling, he poked her arm with a confused smile. "Hey, what's so funny? Do I get to know the joke?"

"You're a joke," she told him. "Your face – you didn't know it was possible to make cake from scratch?"

"Birthdays at the Shinohara household were not a very fancy affair," he chuckled. "Usually for birthdays, they would just buy one from the bakery. I didn't even know the boxed kind existed until I turned eighteen and they wanted to do something special."

"That's sad. What's even sadder is that you don't even argue that you're not a joke."

"You're right. I'm not a joke. I am the joke."

"Oh my god. I'm gonna crash this fucking car."

"Let's not. I want to taste this cake you're talking about."

"Are you sure this is gonna work?" Juuzou asked as he greased the baking pan. "Have you ever used this recipe before?"

"Yeah, I used it every year for my dad's birthday. He loved vanilla cake." To distract herself from the memory, Akira turned on the beater. The whir of the mixer against egg, sugar, and butter just barely drowned out Juuzou's humming – which, like his singing, was oddly loud. "Do you think you could watch this? Just add the rest in and pour it in the pans when it's evenly mixed."

"Alright, I think I can do that. Where are you going?"

"I've got to go to the bathroom."

"Think of me," he told her with a smirk.

"Always," she replied in an equally melodramatic tone. She fought to suppress a laugh as she walked away.

By the time she came out, the batter was already in the pans. Akira popped them in the oven, then set to work scrubbing away the mess Juuzou had made on the counter. How is it that he can handle weapons with expert precision but he can't pour batter without getting it all over the damn place? She went into the living room to find Juuzou scribbling in a book.

"Is that one of my crossword puzzle books?" she asked.

"Yeah. What's the answer to six down?" He waved the book in front of her face.

"Give me that." She snatched it out of his hand. "You can't just take my shit. You have to ask first."

"Fine," he sighed. "May I do a few of your crossword puzzles to pass the time?"

"If you really have to. Thank you for asking. I'll teach you manners if it's the death of me." She handed back the book. "And six down is 'Studio Ghibli'."

"Thanks, man."

Akira settled down to do her own crossword. She didn't even realize that twenty minutes had passed when the alarm on the oven sounded. Excited to see how the cake turned out, she jumped out of the chair and bolted into the kitchen, Juuzou right behind her. He leaned over her shoulder as she opened the oven door to reveal –

Two collapsed, cracked cake layers.

"That's so cool!" Juuzou cried. "Do all cakes made from scratch look like that?"

"No, you dork, it's not supposed to look like that. It's supposed to look like any other cake. Why did it collapse? I always use this recipe."

"Maybe we didn't add the special ingredient," he suggested.

"And what would that be?"

"Love." He made a heart shape with his hands.

"Shut up. Love's for losers," Akira grumbled as she pulled out the cake pans. "Wait. How long did you mix it for?"

"I just mixed until it was really liquid-y."

"Ugh. It probably got overmixed. That can collapse cakes." She eyed the cake. "It looks so gross."

"But it's what's on the inside that counts! Is it edible at least?"

"Should be. Let's get it out of the pans." She tilted the pan over a plate, tapping the bottom. "That's weird, it's not coming out." Her tapping became more furious until she was effectively smacking the pan with her oven mitt-ed hand. "Why the fuck won't it come out?"

"That's what she sa-"

"No. We're not doing that. We're not… Juuzou?"

"Mm?" He was sitting back, trying to contain his amusement at her frustration.

"You greased the pan, right?"

"Yeah, I ran butter around the sides and bottom like you told me to. Don't try to blame this on me. I did it just like this." He got the remaining butter from the fridge and pulled the oven mitts off her hands to hold the pan. As Akira watched in stunned silence, he rubbed the stick of butter very liberally along the outer sides of the pan. Her jaw dropped a bit as he tipped the whole thing over and greased the bottom surface that had been sitting on the oven rack. Of course, even though the pan was upside down, the cake stayed put inside.

"Are you kidding me?" Akira whispered. "Are you fucking kidding me? You greased the outside of the pan?"

"Um, yeah?"

She clapped her hands on his thin shoulders and bent down slightly to look him in the eye.

"Now tell me," she hissed. "What exactly did you think that would accomplish? Greasing the outside? Where the cake never touches? The whole point of greasing the pan is to get the cake out!"

"Stop shaking me! You never told me to!"

"I shouldn't have to! It's common sense! How the hell are we going to get the cake out now?"

"You are way too serious about this," Juuzou said, gently removing her hands from his shoulders. "We'll just eat it directly from the pans. Problem solved."

"No. I will not stoop that low. You know who eats cake directly out of the pan? People who have lost control of their lives."

Juuzou rolled his eyes.

"Fine. Pry it out of the pan then. I'll be waiting in the other room."

As he left, Akira simply pursed her lips and began digging one of the pans with a fork. A few lonely pieces crumbled out onto the plate before half the pan's worth of sad, cracked cake was hoisted out all at once, falling to the floor with a resounding thud. For a few seconds, complete, stunned, disappointed silence filled the apartment.

"I'm not cleaning that up," came a voice from down the hall.

That was such a disaster, Akira thought, settling into the bath. It tasted good in the end – well, what was left of it, at least. Why does life have to be so difficult? Reaching out of the tub, she smiled. Oh well, at least I brought my favorite type of bath bomb to use. I need to relax. She dropped it into the tub, the water fizzing up as bubbles emerged. The instrumental music drifting from her phone drowned out whatever Juuzou was doing in the other room, and she finally felt as though she could wind down after the long day.

After a few minutes, she thought she heard something, but wrote it off as her mind playing tricks on her. By this point, she was up to her neck in bubbles, eyes closed. The calm atmosphere dissipated when there was a loud knock on the door.

"Yes?" she called.

"Are you almost done in there?"

"Mm, five more minutes." She heard his footsteps retreating and figured her response was good enough. Before even two minutes had passed, however, the knocking returned, louder than before.

"Akira! Akira!"

"What?" she whined.

"I need to use the bathroom! Come out!"

"Alright, fine. I'll be out in a bit." She pulled herself out of the tub, lamenting that she couldn't stay longer. I'll return someday, sweet bubble bath. There was more pounding on the door as she stepped out, bubbles floating off her skin. "Hold your horses, I'm drying off!"

"I really gotta go!" he wheedled.

"I'm almost done, I promise, I'm just putting on a-"

"Akira, I will shit under your bed, so help me-"

"Calm the hell down, I'm-"

The door flew open and Akira screamed, not fully dressed. Juuzou looked her up and down, then quickly covered his eyes.

"Yeah, you fucker, I don't even have pants on! Close the goddamn door!" Trying desperately to pull up her pajama pants, she tripped and fell against the tub, half her body in the water. By this point, both of them were yelling.

"Fuck, Akira, I need to-"

"I don't care, now I'm wet and covered in bubbles!"

"Here, let me help you up." He reached out a hand, bending over her, but she shrank away.

"Cover your eyes! I'm in nothing but a t-shirt and a thong, get away from me!"

"Shit, right, sorry!" He slammed the door behind him as Akira dragged herself out of the tub, wincing in pain. Once she'd pulled up her pants and dried herself off (for the most part), she opened the door. The two of them passed by each other without a word, and she fought the urge to scream as she went out into the hall, still dripping wet. What the fuck. What the fuck. Why did this happen. Her face grew redder the more she thought about it, and by the time Juuzou came out, she felt as though she were on fire.

He gave her the once-over, as though to confirm that she was dressed, but refused to meet her eyes. His cheeks were pink, and it would have been cute if she weren't so embarrassed herself.

"So, what exactly made you think it was a good idea to open the door before I was ready to come out?" she muttered, voice nearly inaudible.

"I'm… not entirely sure. I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry."

"… Did you see anything?"

"Just your legs. Nothing else, I promise. I was too panicked to look."

"What did you have to be panicked about?" Akira asked with a derisive snort. "I was the one half-naked in a tub full of green bubbles."

"Because I was the reason you were like that?" he asked with a soft laugh, still staring down at the floor. "Look, I'm really sorry. I understand if you're mad, or if you feel weird and you want to leave."

Akira thought about the situation. Could she survive another few days here after that incident?

"Yeah, well… we all make mistakes, I guess," she conceded. "I forgive you. I didn't come here with the intent of falling into a tub, ass exposed for all to see, but it happened, and there's no going back now. I'll stay for the rest of the week, if you're okay with that. But just promise me something?"

"What?"

"Don't ever tell anyone about that. Ever. In your whole life."

Juuzou grinned at her.

"Cross my heart."