Trust

Star Trek Voyager Fan Fiction
Season 5/6
Captain Kathryn Janeway had one goal – get her crew and ship back home. The Captain puts her mission above everything else, but would that also stop her from falling in love?
No copyright infringement intended. Purely for fun.
Written by LaughingLee (First fan fiction :)

CHAPTER 15

"Kathryn, you have to give me at least three guesses, all right?" Ensign Lee Roberts said where she stood in front of the replicator.

She had heard the door slide open while she was busy getting their supper ready in Captain Janeway's quarters. The entire crew had been talking about the strange shuttle that had materialised out of a very unusual spacial anomaly. Rumours were rife that it was someone from the Alpha Quadrant or perhaps even a Starfleet officer from another time. Lee herself had seen the readings from the anomaly and agreed it could be someone from the future. The shuttle had a typical Starfleet design and the spacial irregularity resembled the ones they had encountered with Captain Braxton a few years ago.

"I'll understand if it's all top secret and you can't tell me, but I can still guess, can't I?" Lee asked as she whirled around with two glasses of wine. Her next words died in her throat when she saw the two women standing in the doorway. Kathryn couldn't help but smile at the completely confused look on her partner's face. Next to Kathryn, an older Janeway also grinned and ran a hand through her silver hair.

"Well, that takes the fun out of guessing," Lee remarked, walking towards them and smiling widely. "Oh, we'll have to give you different names! I'll call my Captain, Kathryn, and you will be Janeway. That should work, right?"

The older Janeway laughed and pulled Lee into a hug. "It's so good to see you!" Lee frowned at the intense emotion in Janeway's voice and glanced at Kathryn while the older Captain hugged her tightly.

"You too," Lee replied, pulling back slightly. "If this is what I have to look forward to, I'll be a very happy woman. Please tell Kathryn what you've done to stay so beautiful." Lee turned to Kathryn. "Is it considered cheating if I flirt with a future you?"

Both Janeways laughed and Kathryn replied, "Only you would take a completely unbelievable situation like this in your stride without even blinking."

"One of the many reasons you absolutely adore me," Lee replied with a grin and gestured to the table behind her. "How about dinner? I got a few things from the mess hall."

"That would be lovely," Janeway replied, walking past Kathryn and sitting down. Being back on Voyager was so strange and so familiar as well. It felt good to be back in her quarters, or rather, in Kathryn's quarters. Lee busied herself with getting the last few dishes on the table. Kathryn turned to help and noticed the place settings.

"I'll get another plate," Kathryn said, but Lee stopped her.

"No, I'm going to leave you two to catch up," Lee said, putting the glasses of wine on the table.

"That's really not necessary," the older Janeway quickly said. "It would be nice to have dinner together."

"Thanks, but I know you two," Lee replied with a grin. "If you're here from the future, there's probably some huge disaster or mission that we need to prepare for. You've never liked time travelling so I'm sure it'll involve something not in the Starfleet rule book."

"All right," Kathryn agreed, noticing the knowing smile on her future counterpart's face. Lee gave Kathryn a quick kiss and headed for the door.

"And, Janeway, if you wanted to come by and have a chat later, that would be fine," Lee said and slipped out into Voyager's corridor.

"She was probably the best decision I ever made," Janeway murmured, a melancholic smile on her face.

"Yes," Kathryn agreed, smiling. The women started eating and the conversation turned to more serious business.

LLLLL

Kathryn slowly woke up as she heard the door to her quarters open. Lee quietly crept into the bedroom and jumped into the shower. Within minutes she was crawling into bed next to Kathryn. The Starfleet Captain turned and Lee pulled her closer, tucking Kathryn against her side.

"Sorry, I didn't want to wake you," Lee whispered and kissed Kathryn's forehead.

"Mm," Kathryn murmured and then she remembered where Lee had been. "How did it go with Janeway?"

"Weird and nice," Lee answered. "We talked about everything except now or the future. You know, small things, like reminiscing about how you and I got together, childhood memories and other stuff like that."

"That's nice," Kathryn replied, frowning slightly. She wasn't quite sure how she felt about Janeway's presence.

"It was quite harmless, I promise," Lee chuckled. "I'm actually a bit worried about her."

"What do you mean?"

"There's a sadness in her," Lee replied, her brow furrowing. "A sense of regret or something. I can't put my finger on it."

"It's probably to do with why she's here," Kathryn murmured, trying not to worry about what she knew lay ahead. She could think about it tomorrow, right now she wanted to sleep with Lee in her arms.

"You're probably right," Lee said, closing her eyes. "I can't wait to hear about it! And, I know, I can wait until you tell everyone tomorrow."

Kathryn smiled and hugged Lee tightly. Lee kissed Kathryn again and the women drifted off to sleep.

LLLLL

Earth. Captain Janeway couldn't believe her eyes. She was staring out of the window in her quarters with the blue sphere filling almost her entire view. They had made it back to the Alpha Quadrant. Her future-self had made a great sacrifice and gotten Voyager home. The entire ship was preparing for their arrival at Starfleet's main shipyard. People were packing up their belongings and making plans to get to their loved ones as soon as possible. Brief messages had been sent, but Starfleet had stopped all further communication until final debriefings were completed. The crew grumbled a bit, but everyone understood it was standard protocol. The mood on Voyager was ecstatic, but Kathryn didn't share it. She had made an immense decision and knew following it through was going to be difficult.

"Wow, it looks amazing from here," Lee said as she entered Kathryn's quarters and went to stand next to her. "The officers' quarters really do have the best view." Lee chuckled and put an arm around Kathryn. She was surprised when the older woman moved out of her embrace and crossed her arms.

"Lee, we need to talk," Kathryn said. "Let's sit down."

"No, I would prefer to stand," Lee said, her smile fading. "Usually, I would try to lighten the mood with a joke, but somehow this feels way too serious even for that." When Kathryn simply looked at her, Lee's heart started to beat wildly. "Kathryn, you're scaring me. What's going on?"

"I don't want any confusion about what I'm about to say, so I'm simply going to say it." Kathryn paused and for a split-second, she questioned her decision. But, she had been debating it the entire night and knew she was right. "We need to break up. We're back in the Alpha Quadrant. You'll be getting back to your life and will want to carry on with your career in Starfleet. You've been saying how excited you are about seeing your family again and staying with them for a while. I don't want to influence your decisions. I'll need to explain our relationship to Starfleet Command during my debriefing, but I don't think that will be a problem. I propose we be honest about what happened in the Delta Quadrant." Kathryn paused and grabbed a breath. "I believe this to be the best decision for both of us."

Lee couldn't believe what she was hearing. She felt dizzy and leaned back against the window, hoping Kathryn wouldn't see how much this was unsettling her. Her first reaction was denial which quickly turned into anger. She closed her eyes briefly and brought her emotions under control.

"Okay," Lee said and started walking to the door.

"Is that all you have to say?" Kathryn asked, stunned. She was expecting an outburst or tears or something. Her worst fear was how she was going to handle a distraught woman. Not this complete ambivalence.

"Yes, that's it," Lee said, turning around. "What did you expect, Kathryn? I know you, you probably spent hours on this, weighing the pros and cons, deciding the supposed right course of action. I could explode and be angry. I could argue how ridiculous you sound trying to pretend this is in my best interest. If you like, I can rant and rave about why we should stay together, how happy we've been together. Hell, I could list all the reasons why this is the stupidest thing you've ever done. But, I don't think it would make a difference, would it?"

"No," Kathryn replied, not moving.

"I wish you happiness, Kathryn," Lee said softly. "I hope you find what you're looking for. That one thing that will finally make you happy."

Kathryn watched as the door slid open and Lee walked out, not looking back. Kathryn fell down into the couch, her hands shaking. It was over. She had done what needed to be done. A small doubt made its voice heard, but Kathryn ignored it.

"Janeway to the bridge," Commander Chakotay's voice came over the comms. Captain Janeway stood up, pulling her jacket straight determinedly. Pushing any final uncertainties deep down, Janeway walked out of her quarters.

LLLLL

The snow covered everything. Kathryn Janeway could barely make out the path leading to their front door. She sighed and wished a storm would blow in. It would match her mood. Kathryn was glad to be in Indiana with her mother, but it was strange being back where she grew up. A place she had thought she might never see again.

The past few months had gone by excruciatingly slowly. Voyager had been greeted with a hero's welcome. The debriefings of the crew and inspections of the ship took a few weeks and then everyone had slowly scattered. Janeway had been promoted amid some protests concerning her future-self's actions. Some in Starfleet Command believed she should be held accountable for future-Janeway's disregard of protocol and illegal use of time travel. Others welcomed Janeway with open arms and pushed for her promotion to admiral.

Kathryn threw herself in her new role as Delta Quadrant expert and practically lived in her office at Starfleet Command in San Francisco. She tried explaining her lack of energy to the adjustment of being back. Whenever her thoughts strayed to the last conversation she had in her quarters aboard Voyager, she reminded herself she had done the right thing. Her reasons were the right ones. Kathryn told herself she had made the right decision.

Gretchen Janeway had asked her daughter countless times to take the generous leave Starfleet had offered, but Kathryn kept declining. Gretchen finally resorted to contacting old friends of her husband in Starfleet to pull some strings and so forced Kathryn to take the time off and make the trip to Indiana. Gretchen was shocked by the changes in her eldest daughter. There was a spark missing. They talked about her years in the Delta Quadrant, but never mentioned Lee Roberts. Gretchen knew something had happened, but didn't want to push Kathryn. Now she watched as Kathryn stared out the window of their house. She wished she could do more for her daughter.

"Coffee, dear?" Gretchen asked, walking around the counter and into the kitchen. When Kathryn didn't answer, Gretchen repeated her question.

"What? Sorry, mom. That would be great, thanks." Kathryn moved away from the window, but then looked back. "Are we expecting anyone?"

"Not that I know of," Gretchen replied, joining her daughter at the window. "Phoebe would have mentioned if she had invited a friend." Someone was walking towards their house. That in itself was strange. The nearest transport station was miles away and their closest neighbour as well. The person was so dressed up for the cold weather that neither Janeway could see who it was. Their porch was enclosed with glass and the person carefully opened the outside door and stepped inside.

"Can I help you?" Kathryn asked, opening the kitchen door and joining their visitor on the porch. The stranger carefully removed their hat and scarf and took off the bulky snow jacket. Kathryn gasped.

"Hi, Kathryn," Lee Roberts said a bit uncertainly. "I know I'm not welcome, but what I have to say won't take long. May I please come in?"

"Yes," Kathryn managed to utter and watched in disbelief as Lee struggled to get out of her wet boots and calmly walked into the kitchen.

"Lee! What a wonderful surprise," Gretchen said, embracing the red-faced woman. "Let me make you something hot to drink."

"Thanks, Gretchen. But, I won't be long so you don't have to go to all that trouble."

"Well, then I'll leave you two alone," Gretchen said. Even she felt the tension in the air. She didn't want to get her hopes up, but she wished her daughter could see past whatever had driven them apart.

Kathryn gestured to her right and when Lee nodded, Kathryn led her into a very cosy living room with a warm fire burning in the corner. Kathryn sat down, but Lee remained standing in front of the fireplace.

"As I said, this won't take long." Lee fiddled with her hands and started pacing. "I'm not here to talk about us. I respect your decision and I've honoured it. But, I won't stand by while you destroy your life." Lee stopped pacing and looked at Kathryn. The older woman had forgotten how open and intense the engineer's gazes were. "You are not happy sitting in that tiny box of an office at Headquarters, filling out reports and writing documents. It's killing you slowly. You have to tell Starfleet to get you back on a starship. That's where you belong. There are quite a few deep space missions that need a good captain. Some are even in this quadrant. Or if you like, back to the Delta Quadrant. With your credentials, you can have your pick."

"I am not doing that," Kathryn replied, angry at how this woman could simply walk in and tell her what to do. The fact that she was completely right irked Janeway even more.

"Kathryn, you don't understand," Lee said firmly. "This isn't a request. If you haven't signed on as Captain on one of Starfleet's latest missions, I will do it for you. You know my skills with a computer. If I don't see your name under captain on a ship's roster after this weekend, I will do the paperwork for you. I will make it look as if you did it yourself. If you start telling anyone different, they'll think you've gone crazy. And I know there are people at Starfleet Command who would like nothing more than to put you under lock and key."

Kathryn gaped at the determined young woman in front of her. "You can't do that."

"Of course I can," Lee said with a grim smile. "And you know I will. I'm sorry to force this kind of decision on you, but you'll thank me later. Or, you'll hate me forever which probably won't make me feel any different than now." Lee blinked and for a second Kathryn thought she saw a tear. Her heart tugged at the sight. "Either way at least you'll be happy."

Without another word, Lee left the living room and Kathryn jumped after her. She caught up to the younger woman on the porch where she was putting her boots and jacket back on.

"Remember, Kathryn. You have four days until Monday. Get yourself re-assigned to a ship of your choosing. Otherwise, I'll do it for you."

With that, Lee opened the outside door and stepped into the snow. Kathryn didn't know what to do. Her mind was going round in circles. Everything she had been keeping bottled up bubbled to the surface. This time she couldn't push the feelings back down. Kathryn looked at the figure disappearing into the snow-covered landscape. She took a deep breath, quieted her mind and asked herself one question. When her heart immediately answered, she smiled from ear to ear.

"Mom!" Kathryn shouted into the house. "Quickly bring my jacket, please. It's in my cupboard." She heard her mother answer and grabbed her boots standing against the wall. When Gretchen brought her the jacket, she pulled it on and ran into the snow.

"What's going on?" Phoebe asked, walking into the kitchen.

"Your sister has finally gotten some sense back," Gretchen replied. They looked on as Kathryn made her way down the path. Lee was a distance away, but it had started snowing again and Kathryn was not giving up.

"Did you see that?" Phoebe asked and laughed. Gretchen shook her head in amazement. Kathryn had caught up to Lee and had tackled the younger woman into the snow.

"Kathryn? Get off me!" Lee yelled in frustration as the older woman pinned her to the ground. "I told you I'm not changing my mind. I will get you back on the bridge."

"You died!" Kathryn shouted and Lee stared at her. "Janeway, the one from the future, when she was on Voyager she told me you had died on the journey back to the Alpha Quadrant. She told me how completely broken she was. How she wished it had been her instead of you. Then she realised she wouldn't have wanted you to feel like she had." Kathryn paused, catching her breath. "I couldn't let that happen to you. I didn't want to cause you such pain. I thought it would be better if you found someone else. Someone younger. Someone you could spend your life with."

"You are such an idiot!" Lee shouted and surprised Kathryn with her strength. She flipped the auburn-haired woman over and pinned her arms above her head. "You left me before I could leave you. That's what this is all about, isn't it? You were afraid. You didn't want to get hurt." Lee laughed at Kathryn's fervent denials. "And I always knew I had died in the other timeline."

"Janeway told you?"

"No, I figured it out. She hugged me like you always do when we go on some near-death mission. Like she was never going to see me again. I know you too well." Lee smiled. "Or it might have been the fact that she accidentally said something about my last birthday. In either case, I knew." Kathryn smiled with Lee, but the blonde's mood became sombre again. "Kathryn, you should have trusted my feelings for you. If I had wanted to be with someone else, I would have been."

"I'm sorry," Kathryn said and Lee's expression softened. "At the time I truly thought I was doing the right thing. I wanted to protect us both from getting hurt."

"What do we do now?"

"I'm not sure."

"It's quite easy, actually," Lee said and stared questioningly at the woman below her. "I love you, Kathryn. If you still love me, even after I threatened your career and stupidly left you alone for months, I want to be with you."

"That easy?" Kathryn smiled. "And I told you to leave me alone, don't feel guilty about that." Kathryn looked at the face above her. Lee was smiling confidently, but Kathryn could see the uncertainty and fragility in her eyes. "You are the bravest woman I know. My stubbornness has taken too much time from us. I love you with everything I have. Can you forgive me? I know I've hurt you and I'm sorry. I'll make it up –." Kathryn's sentence was cut short as Lee's lips gentled covered hers.

"Now, can we please get back inside?" Lee asked, quickly wiping away the tears on her cheeks. "I think my legs have frozen."

"Yes, but first -," Kathryn started and pulled Lee down for another kiss. This one was not as chaste as the first and left both women breathless.

"I'd forgotten how good we are at this," Lee breathed and started laughing.

"I was doing all the work," Kathryn teased and wormed herself out from under the blonde woman. She quickly picked up some snow and threw it at Lee.

Lee gasped at the impact and glared at Kathryn. "This will not be a repeat of the kite incident, Kathryn. I will have my revenge." Kathryn burst out laughing and then had to dodge a barrage of snowballs.

"Mom, have they gone crazy?" Phoebe asked. They watched as the two women chased each other around in the yard. "It's still snowing. They should be freezing."

"They're in love, dear," Gretchen answered with a smile. "They won't feel the cold."

"I'm glad they got back together. From what I remember from Kathryn's old Delta Quadrant messages, they really fit together."

"Yes, I'm happy too," Gretchen replied and walked into the kitchen. "Come on, let's get some hot drinks ready."

The snowball fight only carried on for a few minutes more and then it was declared a draw. Both Kathryn and Lee were starting to feel the cold and reluctantly made their way back to the porch hand-in-hand. Gretchen could hear them laughing and smiled. She couldn't remember the last time she had heard Kathryn laugh.

"Here's some hot chocolate," Gretchen greeted the two women when they came in.

"Thanks, Gretchen," Lee said, immediately grabbing one. "I think my insides are frozen solid. I'm not used to snow."

"I'll have some a bit later," Kathryn said. "Mom, would you mind keeping Lee company for a while? I need to send a few messages to Starfleet. I shouldn't be long too long."

"Take your time," Lee said, grinning at Kathryn. "It gives me a chance to ask your mom about all your embarrassing moments as a child. Oh, and all the stuff you got up to when you were a teenager."

"For all those stories, we'll need a few days at least," Gretchen said and steered Lee to the living room. "And you can finally meet Phoebe as well."

Kathryn smiled as Lee was ushered away. She started up the stairs to her room, already planning how she was going to word her message to Starfleet Command.

LLLLL

Lee wanted to pinch herself. The day had definitely not gone as she had planned. The engineer had hoped to convince Kathryn to get back on a starship. The fact that she was sitting and chatting with Gretchen and Phoebe, knowing that Kathryn was upstairs, boggled her mind.

"Lee, what are you thinking about?" Phoebe asked and poked her playfully. "You've missed my amazing retelling of the pumpkin incident."

"I'm sorry," Lee said with a laugh. "It's surreal. I didn't expect the day to turn out like this. I mean it's wonderful and I'm beyond happy. It's just so strange."

"I'm so happy you two got back together, dear," Gretchen said. "Your mom and I have been discussing it and it took all our willpower not to interfere."

"You've been chatting with my mom?" Lee grinned. "I thought it was strange when she stopped bugging me about Kathryn. That's probably when you two started talking."

Lee's face suddenly lit up and she got up out of her chair. Gretchen turned to see her eldest daughter enter the room. Kathryn walked straight to Lee and kissed her fiercely. Lee was caught off guard, but quickly recovered and wrapped her arms around Kathryn.

"I think we can put out the fire. It's hot enough in here as it is," Phoebe quipped and Gretchen shook her head with smile.

"How did you know?" Kathryn asked Lee, not letting her go. "How could you possibly have known what I would do?"

"Excalibur?" Lee asked and laughed when Kathryn nodded. "O, Kathryn. Haven't you realised yet? I am amazing. I'm surprised you keep forgetting that."

"If you two are done speaking in code, would you please tell us what's going on?" Gretchen asked. Kathryn blushed and sat down next to Lee.

"Lee convinced me to captain a starship again," Kathryn started.

"Well, more like blackmail," Lee chipped in and Gretchen laughed.

"In either case, we both knew I was busy dying at Starfleet Command and needed to get back on the bridge of a starship."

"Hear, hear!" Gretchen said and Phoebe agreed. "I would like to know how you got through to Kathryn. I've been trying since she got back and nothing's worked."

"This is a perfect opportunity to make a joke about my many skills," Lee said and Kathryn burst out laughing, her blush deepening. "But, since I'd like your family to keep their good impression of me, I think I'll keep quiet."

"Your self-control is amazing," Kathryn added when the Janeway women had stopped laughing.

"I know, right?" Lee said with a huge grin. "But, please, continue."

"As I was saying, I needed to captain a starship again. First, I had to decide which ship, but I had a fairly good idea which mission I wanted to command."

"Excalibur?" Gretchen asked.

"Yes, it's a deep space mission to the Delta Quadrant to carry on with the trade agreements Voyager started. The ship has the latest in slipstream technology, shortening the journey considerably. Also, there's been progress on rebuilding the communications array so Excalibur would be in constant real-time contact with the Alpha Quadrant. The ship is one of the new generational starships allowing families to stay together." Kathryn turned to Lee who smiled innocently. "I then sent a message to Starfleet Command. I worded it such that they understood it was not a request. I re-assigning and demoted myself."

"And they agreed?" Phoebe asked, surprised. "You must have more power than I thought."

"No, she's just annoyed a lot of people and they would prefer if she were very far away," Lee said and Phoebe laughed with her. Kathryn glared at her. "And, of course, she's an excellent Captain."

"Starfleet Command has agreed," Kathryn continued, smiling at Lee's last comment. "Excalibur leaves in six weeks. I'll report to the shipyard in four weeks to do the final inspections and so on. But, that's not the best part."

"Kathryn, I'm so happy for you!" Gretchen exclaimed, getting up and embracing her daughter. "I don't like that you'll be off in space again, but I understand that this is what makes you happy."

"Me too, sis," Phoebe added. "But, what's the best part?"

"I wanted to get an idea of what my crew would look like," Kathryn said and looked at Lee. The younger woman's smile grew wider. "To my great surprise and utter joy, I find a Lieutenant Lee Roberts listed as part of the crew. I would like to know how the hell you knew I would pick Excalibur? I thought I was going to have to transfer you to the ship myself. How did you know I would even agree to command a ship again?"

"I could tell you that deep down I felt it," Lee said, sighing overly dramatic. "I could say that in my heart of hearts I knew you felt stifled at headquarters and that Excalibur was exactly what you would want. Insert romantic movie here." The women laughed, but Kathryn wouldn't be distracted.

"Lee, how did you know?"

"Kathryn, I didn't," Lee replied, shrugging with a smile. "When Excalibur and its mission were announced, I signed up immediately. The plan of making you a captain again came after that. If there was a tiny part of me that entertained the idea of us back together on a starship, I ignored it. It was too -," Lee paused and quickly wiped at her eyes. "This snow is really stinging my eyes! Anyway, I took it one step at a time. I'm just glad things worked out the way they did."

Kathryn gave Lee's hand a squeeze. "What would have happened if I had said no? If I had stayed at Starfleet Command?"

"I would be struggling through a snow storm right now!" Lee said, pointing to the window which was one solid pane of white. Gretchen and Phoebe laughed and Kathryn simply shook her head. She snuggled up to Lee who hugged her tightly.

"What?" Kathryn asked when she noticed the surprised looks on Phoebe and her mother's faces.

"It's nice seeing you so affectionate," Gretchen replied.

"She couldn't keep her hands off me on Voyager," Lee said and then immediately blushed as the Janeway women burst out laughing again. "I'm so sorry. That sounded much better in my head."

Lee started telling more incidents of when she had forgotten to censor what came out of her mouth. Kathryn slowly felt her eyes close and leaned her head on Lee's shoulder. She felt Lee pull her closer and drifted off, feeling completely at home.

"Kathryn, it's time for dinner," Lee said, gently shaking the woman in her arms. Kathryn grimaced, slowly waking up.

"Hey! Wake up, I'm hungry," Phoebe's voice came with a prod in Kathryn's side and the Captain grumbled. "Mom made her special stew. It's your favourite."

"I'm up," Kathryn said, letting Lee help her off the couch.

"You were fast asleep," Lee remarked as they walked to kitchen. Gretchen had laid the table in front of the counter and added a vase with flowers as well.

"Good cushion," Kathryn replied and smiled with Lee. They helped get the final dishes on the table and Phoebe poured them each a glass of wine. When everyone had settled, Kathryn raised her glass. "I would like to propose a toast. To Lee. Congratulations on your promotion to Lieutenant!" Everyone cheered and clinked their glasses. "And I'm sorry that I had to find out from a ship's roster. I will make it up to you." Lee nodded and couldn't smile any wider. Kathryn felt her heart expand and promised herself she would never let this woman out of her sight again.

"Ooh," Phoebe said with a mock leer. "Exactly how are you going to make it up to her, Kathryn? The walls in this house can be very thin."

"Phoebe!" Gretchen exclaimed as Lee burst out laughing.

Kathryn retorted with how jealousy can be a very unflattering personality trait. The joking continued as the women started eating. Lee was asked to fill in some of the gaps in Kathryn's retelling of their time in the Delta Quadrant. Her stories quickly turned to the more comedic adventures they lived through and had everyone in stitches. After dinner, coffee was made and they moved back to the cosiness of the fire. A few more stories later and even Lee was starting to yawn.

"I think it's time we call it a night," Gretchen said, getting up. "Lee, there's a spare room across Kathryn's if you like. Or you can stay with Kathryn, whatever works for the two of you."

"Damn," Lee said and quickly got up. "I'm so sorry. I hadn't realised it was so late. I didn't mean to impose. I can still get to town in time for a transport back to San Francisco."

"Don't be ridiculous," Kathryn said, gently grabbing Lee's hand. "You can stay here. I want you to."

"Good, then it's settled," Gretchen interjected. "Good night, girls."

"Sleep well," Phoebe said and gave a surprised Lee a quick hug. "I'm glad you're here. Kathryn hasn't been herself."

"Thanks," Lee replied, glancing at Kathryn as Phoebe left.

"Shall we?" Kathryn asked and gestured towards the stairs. Lee nodded and followed her to the bedrooms. Kathryn grabbed an extra set of pyjamas and showed Lee the guest bathroom. When Kathryn got back from her shower, Lee was dressed for bed and pacing across the room.

"I want to say something," Lee said and gestured for Kathryn to sit down. "A few somethings. It's not bad. Or I don't think so. But, it needs to be said."

"Lee, what is it?" Kathryn sat on the edge of the bed, uncertainty making the blood rush in her ears. "Is there someone else? I know you didn't plan what happened today and maybe I was a bit too rash -."

"That's exactly what I want to talk about," Lee interrupted. "I'm not involved with anyone else. But, that's my point. We have to put what happened behind us." Lee paused and glanced at Kathryn. "First, you have to trust me. You have to stop worrying that this is temporary. That I'm only with you in the meantime. You're stuck with me – for better or worse." Lee stopped pacing and sat down next to Kathryn. "And it goes both ways. You really hurt me. And I don't want to keep that hurt with me and bring it up in every argument as some kind of ammunition against you. I have to trust you won't hurt me like that again. And I know it's going to take time to build that trust again, but I think it's important that we talk about it now. Life's too short to waste on worrying about stuff from the past."

"Okay," Kathryn said and smiled at a slightly confused Lee. "I completely agree with you and couldn't have described it any better. You always surprise me with how clearly you see through me."

"Many skills, Kathryn," Lee said and relaxed. "But, you do the same with me. I found it very frustrating in the beginning when I realised I couldn't hide anything from you."

"And now?"

"You've grown on me," the engineer replied with a smile. "So, we're going to be okay?"

"I have no doubt about that," Kathryn replied and surprised Lee by kissing her. Lee felt her heart pound faster as she leaned back on the bed, pulling Kathryn with her.

"Kathryn, I have one last question," Lee said, short of breath. The Captain moved her hands to the buttons on Lee's shirt. "How thin are these walls really?"

"We'll just have to be discreet," Kathryn whispered into Lee's ear. The Captain grinned when she felt the younger woman shiver beneath her. She started working on the top button and chuckled when Lee stifled a moan. The blizzard outside should make enough noise, but Kathryn decided she didn't care in the least.