A/N: Hey everybody. I'm still here. I'm so sorry for the extremely late update. I have not been feeling myself lately. I've been trying to remember to Always Keep Fighting. I'm slowly gaining my emotional strength back.

So Season 13 finale...I have no words. The only thing I can say is that time needs to speed up so October will be here.

This chapter is original before Two Minute Before Midnight. This chapter will have so many feels that you will need some Kleenex. Please read and review. Your reviews really make me smile, and I want to know what my readers think.

Warnings: some language and angst, hurt/comfort moments.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Supernatural, that belongs to Kripke and the CW. I only own Caitlyn Winchester and original story plots and original characters.

Caitlyn's POV

After we disposed Brady's body, we took a long drive back to Sioux Falls. During the ride back, I was starting to sense some sort of calmness in Sam. I saw his shoulder towering over the passenger side car seat, and I scooted up to give him a gentle squeeze. He place his gigantic hand on top of my petite hand.

"Thanks, twin." He said.

I really wanted to say 'you're welcome', but nothing comes out. I really wanted to let Sam know that I'm there for him.

"I know you will always be there for me, Caitlyn." He said. "You talk when you are ready."

I felt my eyes start watering up. I leaned back and I stared out the window and looked up at the stars and moon. It was a beautiful moon, and it was my favorite part about riding in the Impala. It's like someone created a wonderous masterpiece in the sky.

After a long day or two drive, we started pulling up to the salvage yard. As soon as the impala stopped, I grabbed my duffel bag and walked into Bobby's house. I went straight to the library to find him reading an old book. I tossed my duffel bag onto the couch, which made him look up. His mouth slightly dropped as he looked at me. Then I remembered he hasn't seen me since I woke up in the hospital.

He wheeled towards me, and I bent down to give him a big hug. "It's good to see you darlin'."

I just gave him a weak smile as I patted him on the shoulder.

"Still the silent type, huh?" I nodded, looking down in shame. Bobby took my hand, and patted it. "Well, don't you worry darlin'; You'll talk again."

I smiled as I squeezed his hand back. The boys came in, and the boys were setting down their bags. I rushed upstairs to the room I usually stayed in. I dug into my bag and pulled out my case of throwing knives.

I picked one up, and started throwing it across the room towards a bullseye poster.

It landed way off the target.

Threw it again.

I heard someone creep into the room, and said, "You know if you put a picture of my beautiful face, you could get a bullseye."

I looked over, and I saw my big brother standing in the doorway.

Dean, I thought, I'm not in the mood for you smartass comments. Plus, I wasn't ready to face him yet, not after what he said. Possessed or not, Victor dug so deep into his brain that he was able to get Dean's darkest secrets exposed. What's worse...he thinks its my fault that mom died, let alone my entire existence.

I looked away, and walked towards the wall. I plucked the knife out of the wall, and started throwing them again.

"Kiddo, I wish you could say something." Dean said.

I took a deep breath, and just let out a loud sigh.

"I miss hearing that Texas twang of yours when you get mad." He chuckled. I heard his footsteps getting louder as he got closer. He placed his hands on my shoulders.

"Come on, Kitty cat, you..."

I shrugged my shoulders, and I walked to the wall. I took the knives out of the wall, and I walked to the dresser to place the knives back in their case. After that, I went straight to the bathroom. Dean tried to slow me down, but I just pushed on through and slammed the door, and locked up.

I could hear Dean from the other side of the door, "Caitlyn, open the door. Please I wanna talk to you about what happened in New Orleans."

I kicked the door, hoping he gets the hint that I don't want to hear anything about it.

"Do NOT kick that door, Caitlyn Marie!" He ordered. I let out a frustrated sigh. "Can I just tell you from my side?"

I felt like I was reliving my childhood again. When I was little, I locked myself in the bathroom just like now. Dean was on the other side, and he told me to knock once for 'no', and twice for 'yes'.

I knocked once.

My back hit the door as I slid to the floor. This ought to be good, I humored myself.

"I know that I can't take back with what I said back at the motel. I was a kid when I was thinking those things. I was angry that dad didn't get mom out too, just like he got you out of the fire. When I first held you, you just looked at me for the longest time. You reached your arm up to me, and I could tell you knew I was your big brother."

Oh please, I rolled my eyes remembering, He told me something like that before he went to hell.

"After you disappeared, I went looking for you. I was so worried about you that Chris and Madam Rita said that I needed to calm down. I was angry at them that they held be back from finding you. When we found you at Victor's, I..." He stopped, and I heard him sliding down to the floor on the opposite side. "I felt like someone just punched me in the gut. Seeing you cut up, barely naked, and tied up like that, I mean I didn't see your eyes open so I didn't know if you were okay."

My heart was beginning to ache from what he's telling me. It's almost like his emotional pain was mine as well.

He continued with a shaky voice, "Then I saw you hooked up to the machines. Oh God, how I wanted you to wake up. I understand what you went through when it was me in that bed, and you were there. Bobby told me and Sam to get some air. I refused to leave you because you never left my side when it was me for all the times I was laying in a hospital bed. But he ordered us, I mean...you know Bobby."

I nodded at that. Bobby was a grumpy ol' fart, but he means well. He was probably a better father figure than our own dad. Of course, dad tried, but Bobby just knew the balance between this life of hunting, and being an actual human being. I owe Bobby Singer for that.

I heard take a deep breath, and he continued, "I mean we told you what happened to Gabriel, and what he told us about what to do with Lucifer. But Victor showed up, and he was claiming how proud he was to hurt my kid sister. He taunted me with how your heart was going to stop, and then this rage...came to me...and I ended him. We rushed back to the hospital and I found that witch guy by your side. I'm sorry, but my big brother instincts told me to beat him to a pulp."

I could sense something's wrong. I heard a light sob escape his mouth. That's not like Dean, I worried in silence, he never would cry. This is an act, it has to be.

"Your heart stopped, Caitlyn. I watched strangers shock your heart repeatedly and did everything to get a pulse. They gave up, and declared you dead. I refuse to let you die, and so I did chest compressions on you for I don't know how long. But it felt like a year passed by. I told Sam to find a crossroads to make a deal. I didn't want to give up on you. I wanted you to live so I can tell you that I'm sorry."

And there it was, an apology from a choked up man. "Caitlyn, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't bring you back. Sam stopped me, and I gave up on you. I wish I didn't feel a thing when I came back from hell, and I certainly didn't want to feel anything looking at your dead body."

I opened the door, and I saw Dean's red rimmed swollen eyes, looking up at me like a little boy. Dad raised him to have grown man qualities at an early age, and never gave him the time of day to show emotions. I've taught him time and time again that it's okay to not hold everything in, and that it's okay to have the damn chick-flick moments.

I leaned forward, and tightly wrapped my arms around him. He returned a strong hug, holding me close to him. My hand reached the back of his head, through his short hair. He buried his face in my shoulder and cried.

"Please say something." He begged, muffled. "I just need to hear one word, any word."

The look on Dean's face was plastered with worry and hope. He cupped my face in his trembling hands.

My poor boy, I worried. I wish I could say something, but all I could give him was the shaking of my head.

He wiped the tears from his eyes, nodded in defeat, and leaned his forehead against mine. "It's okay. You're still my sister, with or without a voice."

The bedroom door opened, and Sam saw us on the ground.

He rushed in a hurry. "You guys okay?"

I pulled away and nodded.

Dean looked pissed, "Dammit Sammy, your timing is very crappy. Catching me in a bad spot."

"Crying is not being in a bad spot."

"Whatever bitch."

"Jerk." Sam said.

I shook my head at their behavior. My brothers, the story of my life.

Sam helped me off the floor, and whispered to Dean.

Dean turned to me and guided me to my bed, "Kiddo, why don't you lay down for a minute, and Sam and I are gonna have a chat downstairs."

I complied, and laid on the bed as Dean covered me up with one of the blankets.

I shut my eyes, and started to sense calmness overtaking me.

A/N: Man, Dean really meant everything he said. Will he hear Caitlyn talk again?

I might have a couple of flashback chapters, and I'm not sure which one to write. A flashback where Caitlyn sees Sam for the first time since he left for Stanford (aka The Pilot episode), or what happened when John came home finding out Sam ran away to Flagstaff. Next canon will be Two Minutes Before Midnight. I think I might make Chris pay a visit to Sioux Falls.

Please read and review.