I'm back folks.

You know how I said Slaanesh was really hard to write? I take it back. This was much harder and I don't think it will be all downhill from here.

I'm glad you fellas appreciated the previous chapter.

Before I continue I should mention that some of the content in here was taken from someone simply called 'Anon'. If you're reading this 'Anon' thanks for the content I greatly appreciate it and this one is for you.

I realise that there is an overuse of ellipses (…) and rhetorical questions especially in this chapter but I hope you will be able to follow along.

But now ladies and gents I present to you last, but certainly not least, the one you have all been waiting for…

NURGLE

Buboes, phlegm, blood and guts!

Humpty-dumpty-dum-dee-dum.

Boils, bogeys, rot and pus!

Bumpty-sumpty-tum-tum-tum.

Blisters, fevers, weeping sores!

Dum-dee-dum-dee-ra-ra-ra!

From your wounds the fester pours!

Dum-dee-dum-dee-da-da-da!

Oh hi little Aesina what's new?

…Woah, woah, woah! Slow down okay. Just take a deep breath and tell me what happened.

…a guest? Here? Where?

…Well hello!

Welcome to the neighbourhood! Welcome!

Oh my I have been waiting for so long to finally meet you. So you're the one that is causing all the ruckus.

Well come in! Sit, sit, anywhere you like really! Mind the little ones beneath you.

Oh, can I offer you something to drink? Something normal, what is it humans drink…y'know, that clear stuff?...Water? Yes water. Shakaaa'rreet, be a lad and bring our guest some water, that clean stuff not the normal brew…that might take a while.

…alright boys and girls don't crowd our guest. Come on! Come on! I'm sure there are other things you should be doing.

HEY! Kra'sitik, what have I told you about manners? No biting guests! Apologise! NOW!...That's a good boy. Now go back and play with your brothers.

…I am so sorry about that, the little ones don't listen to anyone half the time. Especially me. Kids, tch! Speaking of kids, I apologise for not introducing them to you, it's just that if I do that we are going to be here for a long time, and you seem to be on a tight schedule. I can relate to that, trust me.

I hope you don't mind me working while we talk but you know how it goes; busy, busy, busy. Sometimes I think I need a vacation. I'm currently working on a new mix of anthrax, tricky business but if I'm honest it's all about getting the heat right. Too cold and nothing happens, too hot and it dies.

Sorry if I seem like babbling but it is just exciting to meet you. I have heard so much about you, Slaanesh will not stop talking about you. It was sweet really. I also heard you visited Khorne and Tzeench too.

I was beginning to wonder if you have forgotten I even existed.

But here you are!

I'm actually surprised you made it this far, by that I mean actually getting past Khorne. Did he try and fight you to the death? I bet he did; he was always the serious one. I'm actually worried about him, bloody anti-social he is. Don't get me wrong, I love him deeply but I just feel his is not happy; he always claims he wants to fight somebody but he just sits on his throne looking bored.

'Khorne, my friend,' I told him, 'if you want to fight people to the death you will have to actually leave your fortress.' Then he got all huffy and tried to hit me over the head with an axe. Haven't talked to him since.

I know he is deeper than he lets on, I don't why he shows it. Maybe he's embarrassed. Perhaps he is so focused on blood, that it distracts him from the other things he could appreciate. Khorne has no appreciation for fine art, or for good music, or for the feeling of dying, he just burns and destroys. Slaanesh at least has the good sense to rape and pillage first.

Ah Slaanesh, sweet girl really. About as controllable and mature as you would expect from a 'teenager'. She's always in a hurry, got to do this, got to do that, never satisfied, blah, blah, blah.

'Relax my dear,' I said, 'you are one of us. Stop playing around with the Eldar, it's very rude. You're not going anywhere anytime soon. Take your time.'

She just rolled her eyes and says 'whatever gramps' and goes off to do…whatever it is she does. I prefer not to think about it. I hold a deep affection for my 'sister', but I fear her lack of restraint will destroy her. What will happen when she reaches a limit that cannot be transcended? What then? She will have to grow up eventually; there is nothing I can do but be there for her when that happens.

Tzeench must have been interesting. I myself have not spoken to him in ages, we just never got along you know. Breaks my heart really. I wish we could relate but alas we focus on different things. He's all progress, change and future, but you know what that tells me? You are lacking, you are found wanting and that is not a good thing.

And he was so enthusiastic when he was first born, ya know what I mean? So curious about everything; like a little kid he just would stop asking 'why', that's Tzeentch for ya.

He would ask in that echoey voice of his stuff like 'why is the sky blue?'

'Because it is' I would say.

'But why? Why not green?'

And I would reply, 'because that would be wrong.'

'Why is that wrong? I like green.'

HAHA! You like stories right? Hoo boy was Tzeench's birth something. Ha! Oh he would skin me alive if I told you….huh…you know, he actually would…maybe another time.

Which is why even though Tzeench hates my guts I still care for him. This is why everyone says Nurgle is the age-old enemy of Tzeench, not the other way around. It's not that we hate each other….well I don't hate him at least. It's just a difference of opinion.

But despite the gripes I have with my siblings and their gripes with me, I still care for them. The only thing we have in this universe is each other. I know it is cliché and sentimental but I am what the universe made me.

But I am rambling. You don't call a sewage technician to redecorate your bathroom, and you didn't come to me to hear about my siblings; not when you have done that yourself already.

Speaking of ready, I think it's time to test out little brew. You sure you don't want a taste?

…No? Oh well more for me! Now let's see….hmm not bad, not bad. But it seems to be missing something.

….Excuse me a moment. Hey Shan'Buraki'i! Could you come here for a second?...Would you be able to do me a favour: I need you and about a dozen of your brothers and sisters to get me a tonne of bacillus cereus...Huh? Oh, you'll find it on the south-east quadrant of the Garden, it's right where that brown sludge farm is…Thanks kiddo, you're the best…And hey if you get lost just ask one of the groundskeepers!

….I apologise for that. I've got a bit of a deadline if I want to get this out in time for the-ah! Sorry, I don't mean to bore you with business.

But I suppose if I am going to explain who I am, I must enquire as to what you already know about me. The Imperium of Mankind paints a picture of me as a Chaos God of Disease, Decay, and Destruction; the Plague Lord that is fuelled by humanity's despair and fear of death.

Well guess what?

It's true. I admit it.

I am not going to defend myself. I am not a 'good' being in the strictest sense. Fear of dying is what fuels the fires of my cauldron…and as you can see there is ample fear in the universe, now more than ever.

But I have never lied about it, nor made people think otherwise.

The ones that flock to me for help, crying and sobbing…begging me to save them from death. And it falls upon me to set them straight: I can't save them from death, I don't have that kind of power. No one has. They think they can cheat death, but they can't. From human to Ork, from Eldar to Necron: nothing escapes death. Not even me. That is the delusion of mortals, but I don't deal in delusion; I deal in truth. Cold, lifeless truth.

And I have to explain this truth to every one of my sons' and daughters', and it is not something I enjoy. Not a single person joined our family under deceptive terms, and no matter their background or social standing they are all welcome.

But can the Imperium, Tau or Eldar say the same thing about themselves? What about you?

Do you claim to be something you are not? Haha! I bet you do, you cheeky bugger. I bet you pretend you are perfect.

Over the past whatever millennia, little by little human beings have been confronted with situations that give them more and more clues that they aren't perfect. But the Imperium for all its guff despises humanity and the imperfections it brings. It longs to crush those faults, those little imperfections into the dust. But they are fighting a losing battle, because what they are trying to destroy the very fabric of what they are.

I mean take the Anathema they are trying to keep him alive forever, even when they know they can't. Because the thought of the God-Emperor of Mankind being nothing less than perfect is absolutely unthinkable and they fight anything that says otherwise. Why do humans insist on fighting everything? Why? It just doesn't make any sense to me, can't we all just get along?

I'm not perfect and neither are my children. I know that and you know what; I'm okay with it, I love my kin just the way they are. And they should be too.

What the Eldar, Tau and Imperium say about me is true; I am the embodiment of death and decay given form. But what they say, while true is incomplete. I am also about life…well not life in the way you would define it; more like rebirth if anything. The universe wastes nothing and no matter how hard Tzeench tries, it's impossible to alter the fundamental rules of the universe.

Nothing ever truly dies, it is merely transformed. Why do you think the Necron's failed their first attempt at exterminating all life? They can't.

You grieve the death of your friend who died whether it be in battle or accident, you wish you had more time, you wish your friend was back. But have you considered the flip side of the coin? Maybe your friend was supposed to pass on. Maybe he was supposed to lie in the earth and be food so that more worms could be born, and flowers could have fertilizer to bloom.

Out of death comes life, out of life comes death. That's it, that's the eternal cycle. Because as hard as you might try you cannot separate life from death, it is impossible and those that try are interfering with the natural order of universe.

Life is sacred because of death. Death is sacred because of life.

Hence my fondness for diseases; do you know how much life exists in a petri dish of bacteria? Do you know how many microbes are in your stomach right now much less your body? Do you know how they are important to your function as a living organism?

Let me tell you boyo, if the Imperium followed their technical definition of a 'pure human race' they would have died out eons and eons ago. Humans are not an island into themselves, you are a hive housing thousands of different lives. They are alive because of you, and you are alive because of them.

But what about the spores of some fungus, or the Ebola Virus, or the maggots hatching from a decaying corpse. Aren't these not alive as well, aren't they part of the great mystery and never ending cycle that is life? Is it just that they are alive, but they are not equal to your own? Don't you think that is just a little bit presumptuous?

How does one gage if life is superior to another? If it is based on how far they can spread or how much damage they can do, then I'm afraid smallpox is the most superior lifeform in the universe.

If it is based on how long they survived then I'm sorry, bad news; Rickettsia rickettsii aka Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever trumps humans, Eldar and just about everything else by about, oh I don't know, the dawn of life as you know it. Even if we decided to pass good old R&R, you still have leprosy and that has been around so long it is probably the only thing the species of the galaxy have in common. That stuff is hardier than even the most blessed of terminator armour!

Isn't that great? The only thing that unites life is a disease, some could say that life itself is a disease. An ever moving ever changing mass of organic matter spreading as far and wide as it can? That sounds like the influenza virus!

In this sick, sick galaxy everyone and everything is out for themselves but it doesn't have to be this way. Who's to say necrosis and living flesh can't work together? Who is to say that mortal enemies fighting each other on a cellular level can't work together and live in harmony?

Speaking of harmony I – oh Shan'Buraki'I, back already? Awesome. Well put it in fellas…Thanks guys let's have a taste shall we?

…Oh that is much better! I think this is ready for a final tasting. Well look boyo I hate to dine and dash but I have to take care of some further business. I hope the trip here was worth it.

K'Adawisa will show you out, don't worry she doesn't bite.

Well it was great to meet you, I hope we can do this again you're always welcome.

Ta Ta!

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Wait! WAIT!

Sorry, sorry! Before you go, oh this is embarrassing, pardon my manners. If you have a spare moment, there is someone I think you would like to meet…

0o0o0o

DUN! DUN! DUUUUUUUUN!

Well that's it fellas, those were the Chaos Gods. I hope you enjoyed it. But don't say goodbye we might see them again, who knows?

At this stage I am looking to continue this story to its logical conclusion.

TTFN!