Dearest readers,

I'm writing this author's note with a heart full of sorrow as I tell you that this will be the last installment of Not Guilty. If any of you follow me on twitter, you know I've been struggling for a while now with balancing fandom life with real life, and while I would still love to continue this story, i don't feel that it's fair to you, the readers, to keep you waiting. Or to me for giving myself more things to worry and stress over. I write because I find it freeing, and this story has been making me feel anything but for a very long time. I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read, favourite, follow and/or review this fanfiction - you guys are truly the reason I've even gotten as far as I have with it. To my betas and friends, for always encouraging me when I didn't feel good enough, for shouting at me when I needed a kick up the butt, and for cheering me on when the cogs got going. You all know who you are, and I love you all with all of my heart.

What you will find, should you choose to scroll down, is the full outline of the rest of this story. Little sections of future chapters I've written, and then finally, an unedited epilogue at the bottom. Bare in mind this whole chapter is essentially one huge guide I was following as I wrote. It's a peek into my creative outlet, and let me tell you, it's messy. I give it to you now, hoping with everything I've got that you'll enjoy it, that you'll understand my decision a little more safe in the knowledge that the rest of the story would have been just as monstrous to write as the first half has been (and honestly, folks, that has taken me two years - I wouldn't have made you wait another two as well!). If you decide not to scroll down, and just enjoy the words for what they are up until now, then know that I am DETERMINED to finish this as an original novel one day. It's my baby, I love it more than I've ever loved anything I've ever created, and by god it will be done if it kills me. It just might take me 64 years or so.

So… without further or do before I start blubbing, I give you my heart. I give you my story.

Hayley x

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Chapter 20

Regina feels sick. And for the first time in as long as she can remember, it is not due to angst or nerves or sorrow. She is excited. Childishly giddy as she clips her seat belt back around her waist and smiles at the air steward who asks if he may take her drink away while they land. Of course, excited should be far off from anything she ought to be experiencing; dread for the week ahead, anxiousness at the prospect of more paparazzi greeting her when she touches down would perhaps be more appropriate, and she does feel them. If she lets herself.

But she had made a decision while she checked her luggage and looked over her carryon one more time. Had stubbornly resolved not to think about all the bad things that going back to London will bring with it, and instead focus on everything good. Namely, finally seeing Robin after what's felt like a lifetime and getting to tell him she loves him to his face.

So she's excited, feels like a little girl on Christmas Eve and has spent both plane journey's (the times she's been awake) letting her mind run wild with what she'll say when she first sees him - and more importantly what she'll do when they get back to his and lock the front door. And maybe she's a little nauseous too, though she thinks that's more to do with a lack of sleep and bad airplane food than any sort of subconscious foreboding about the week ahead.

Time has been a tease this weekend, somehow speeding up and standing still in unison; the seconds she longs to hurry up and pass by never do, and the ones she could let linger forever slip through her fingers like she's clutching at sand. It feels like a lifetime since she last saw Robin, last kissed his lips and breathed in that delicious smell that is just so… Robin, done all the things that communication via technology just can't offer. He's promised he'll meet her at arrivals, press be damned (because they follow him everywhere now, she's learned), had sounded just as giddy as she feels when she called him during her brief layover in Iceland. Regina likes this denial they're both forcing, is enjoying the weightlessness that it comes with and the prospect that she and Robin actually have some alone time to look forward to. She doesn't think they've had anything to look forward to since the second they met; and while it might only be for a short time, mere hours in the grand scheme of things, it's a period wherein they can do absolutely anything but dwell on the week that's looming ahead. Dwelling can come later, along with worrying and silent fear - surely that's what tonight's inevitable sleeplessness can be for?

Touchdown at Heathrow comes quickly, the sensation making her wince because the weather isn't great (just for a change) and has done its best to provide the last leg of her journey with rocky turbulence that's likely added to that nauseous excitement she's been feeling since she took off from Boston. She hadn't let Roland come with her to Logan, had spent a good portion of yesterday filled with trepidation of how to tell her son she would be leaving for a few days; a feeling that, as it turned out, was entirely unnecessary because he'd not so much as batted an eyelid. The prospect of sharing a bedroom with Henry (David had promised the boys he would build a fort with them to sleep in) had been far more exciting to Roland than saying bye to Mommy. Regina isn't so sure it would have gone down that way if she'd told him the truth, that she was going back home to see his dad, and while there'd been a niggle of guilt in her heart as the lie has slipped from her mouth, she knows the outcome would have been devastated tears that he wasn't going too if she'd been honest, and as Emma had so casually reminded her - all parents have to tell white lies to their children from time to time.

Time plays its games once again as she passes through passport control, laughing at its ability to delay her reunion with Robin when she chooses a queue that moves about as quickly as Mr. Gold in icy weather, only to find the desk closes when she finally reaches it. She gets antsy as each delay presents itself, finds her feet shifting her weight and her toes wiggling inside her Uggs (a more than sensible choice in footwear because the weather is miserable; dark and dingy, the kind that should bring a heavy lethargy with it, but nothing, nothing will dampen her spirits today). She finds her heart beating faster when she's finally through the gate, butterflies bubbling up in her belly while she waits for her suitcase and mentally calculates how close to the front of queue she was back in Boston; does that matter? If she checked her bags first does that mean they'll be last out? Her phone buzzes as her mind churns, and a grin springs on her face.

Hurry up, woman! he writes, and as she taps back a retort he messages again. It has been a torturous amount of time since I have kissed those lips ;)

Patience, you can do more than kiss me when we get home ;P Is her response, and she drags her bottom lip between her teeth, unsuccessfully stifling the smile that's tugging at the corners of her mouth when her suitcase finally emerges on the carrousel.

Robin and Regina meet at the airport. Regina jumps into his arms, too blissful and lost in his kisses and Iloveyou's to notice the paps taking their photo. The day is followed by a generous amount of sex and talking, the very best parts of any relationship. More than once Robin asks Regina what she's done about possibly getting him access to a green card, should he be found innocent, and with each question, Regina feels queasy in her gut. She cannot bring herself to tell him that she blackmailed her step father into agreeing to obtaining one for him through the channels of government he has or she'd go to the press and tell them he used to sexually harass her. He had scoffed to begin with, had told her she didn't have the gaul to do such a thing with no proof, to which she had replied that he better call her bluff then, and that she didn't need proof for the comments to stain his reputation; a reputation that isn't exactly squeaky clean since Emma's imprisonment became public knowledge. Mulan and Aurora show up, back from France to show their support for Robin for the week, the gang all have dinner, and despite the nerves preventing either Regina or Robin from sleeping much that night, she's beyond grateful their potential last day together has been filled with nothing but love.

Chapter 21 - (trial)

Regina's first - and probably inappropriate, given their current situation - thought is that she's really glad Gold fired her, if for any reason other than not having to wear one of those wigs on her head. Another part of British law that goes straight over her head.

Lots of jeers from Lennie and Jeff at Regina, but she's there to support Robin and they can fuck off if they think she's going anywhere.

Regina internal thoughts - Jeff seems more smug today than usual? Something about him makes her feel off kilter.

Week goes on, trial lasts until Friday, Robin and Regina put on stand? Regina humiliated by Knotts?

Robin on the stand - verdict about to be read as commotion outside the court door is heard, and the juror stops mid-sentence as Emma bursts through the door.

She has absolutely ignored Regina, left Henry with Mary & David & Roland, and found Killian.

Regina/Emma conversation as Gold attempts to make the judge let him get Killian on the stand

It works - whatever Gold has on George is enough to make him bend the rules, and he tells the jurors to throw the verdict away because new evidence has come to light.

Small recess? Killian/Robin/Regina/Emma talking about what really happened - Killian seems jittery, and so does Jeff. (Killian hurt that Liam was killed?)

Regina and Emma both notice, and as Jeff attempts to leave, Killian blurts out that he recognises Jeff from Prince's inner circle.

Regina puts two and two together - realises that jeff is the person framing Robin (for god knows what reason) because it works in both his and Prince's favour.

A scene is made in the middle of the court? Revealed Jeff was the man Fara Sherazi was in love with, and Robin the reason he lost the love of his life.

Jeff/Prince have been working together - mutual benefit of taking Robin down, Jeff gets revenge, Prince gets Roland. Liam Jones was collateral for Prince because of his hold over Killian

Jeff arrested, Robin acquitted.

Regina/Emma moment outside court, "You're my savior"

"You're my sister, Regina. And I've never forgotten that at one time, you were the only person who was there for me."

Robin/Regina moment outside court

Jack will stay with John while they sort out a way to get him there too.

Flight to Boston - R&R cuddled up on the plane :)

Robin/Roland reunion. ALL SORTS OF FEELS.

Chapter 22

All kinds of fluffy feelsy.

Christmas is fast approaching, Regina & Robin, xmas shopping for Roland

Robin builds Mary Margaret a rocking chair - MM/Regina moment, she really likes him, can see why Regina fell so quickly.

Mentions of looking for a house, because her apartment isn't big enough for the three of them (Robin - "definitely not should they want a bigger family one day") She reminds him she can't have children - he tells her he would be more than happy to adopt if she wanted more children.

Date night with MM, David, Emma and August.

Robin goes to Lee to thank him for getting him a green card, Lee mentions that he's just grateful Regina didn't go to the press like she threatened - Robin puts two and two together, and realises what's happened to Regina at the hands of her step-father all her life.

Realises she used it to get him in the country (Robin's POV? May do this whole moment from both sides).

BIG ARGUMENT - Regina tells him everything, cries over her childhood, over Daniel (finally revealed that the reason Regina blamed Mary Margaret for Daniel's death was because he'd gone to pick her up from a party - the one rebellious thing she'd ever done as a teen - and because Emma was sick, one of them had to stay while the other went to get her. Daniel lost the coin toss and went to get her. She made a drunken fuss on the way home, demanding he stop off at a gas station and get her water, which he eventually relented and did, only to be shot and killed during an armed robbery in the station)

She cries over Katherine, and Robin holds her through the night. Regina - "please don't leave me, every man I've ever loved has left me. Dad, Daniel, Henry", I can't lose you too." - basically the fight which drags up a whole hell of a lot of Regina's issues.

He's still upset she did that for him, that she pandered to that sick bastard for him, and now he feels like he owes the man who abused his girlfriend.

She tells him it isn't on him, that Lee owed her, not the other way round, and this is how she chose to call in a favour. Argument is settled.

Mentions of Robin being offered a job for an architecture firm.

Things are finally all coming together, plans made to have xmas at the farm.

Niggling worry for Regina/Robin that Prince hasn't been seen in weeks, and the the police are now on the hunt for him because Jeff dobbed him in for an exchange for a lesser sentence the second he was arrested.

Chapter 23

Christmas eve rolls around, everyone is happy, excited.

Regina gets Robin ... new wallet, a watch, ... a cook book? (circles the recipes she wants to try, outfits she'll wear next to the deserts if he does them) something to do with design/architecture maybe? Laptop of some sort?

Robin gets Regina shoes (Mary on xmas morning attempts to try them on, "STOP IT," Regina cries, snatching her shoe back. "You'll stretch it out with your big fat, pregnant feet."). Perfume, jewellry - helps Roland give Regina a 'world's best mom' mug.

Robin and Regina have had Jack brought over for a surprise for Roland's Xmas present

All have a lovely day setting up for christmas - Robin and Mary Margaret are taking the reins for xmas dinner

Emma/Regina/Ruby funny moment/disaster wrapping Henry's and Roland's presents in the attic?

Smutty times xmas eve - they're in the attic and it's freeeeeezing, has started snowing, and Robin will 'keep her warm'

Post sexy time glow - Regina lying under Robin, reveling in his body on top of hers - him resting on his elbows, hovering his face above hers, and he's slipped out of her by this point but he doesn't move from in between her thighs, is too busy staring at her to do much else but tell her she's beautiful, and he loves her more than she'll ever know.

They're both silent for a moment - Regina internal thoughts - she can't believe this is happening, that he is here and they can finally be together, and he just looks at her, pulls his bottom lip under his teeth as a grin tugs at his mouth.

"Marry me," he says quietly - she's thrown, for a second doesn't think she's heard him right, and as his grin gets wider, Regina presses her head back into the pillow in an attempt to get a better look at him as her mouth drops open. "Marry me," he says it again, not breaking his gaze and the smile on his face is full blown and slays her where she lies.

"What?" Is all she can manage to breathe out.

"Marry me, Regina."

Yes. It's yes, immediately, without question, which is crazy and probably reckless, but she doesn't care, because she loves him more than she's ever loved anyone ever, and her heart explodes with a whole hell of emotions. "Robin ..." she says, because there needs to be some protest, she needs to give him some sort of out in case he's just asked in a post-sex, christmas eve, 'I'm so glad i'm not on trial anymore' haze.

"I love you with my whole heart. And I know it's fast, and we haven't been together very long in the grand scheme of things, I do know all that. But we've also been through enough shit in our short time together than most have in a lifetime, and my granddad once told me if you can find someone who can stand you at your worst, then they're the one for you. He told me to marry my best friend, to marry the one I bicker with, and care for, the one who accepts me for exactly who I am. He told me to marry the love of my life, and you, my darling, are it. You keep me on my toes, and set my soul on fire. You love my son, our son, just as much as I do ... you have turned your entire life around for him, and for me, and if you agree to marry me, I promise I will spend the rest of my days trying to thank you for that, even though nothing I do will ever be enough. I love you, Regina. Marry me."

Gives her the engagement ring - his grandmother's, that his grandpa left to him in his will, and told him to please, only give it to the love of your life.

"Of course I'll marry you."

Xmas morning - present giving

dinner cooking

family spending

all-round perfect day

Minor hiccup in the afternoon when Robin prys open the box of keep-sakes John had sent over from his house along with Jack, before the rest of the boxes get there in the new year. He flicks through the photos with Regina and she stops on one, horrified when he tells her that that was a very old photo of him, Marian, and her brother, Jonathan Prince. Regina realises it's the same man she saw in the ice cream parlour just before Robin trial. They notify the police and David tells them there's nothing they can do for tonight, and they will only end up not enjoying themselves if they dwell on it. Tonight, they are safe.

Chapter 24

Christmas night time comes, and as the adults settle with wine and nibbles, they collectively dream of what's to come in the new year with a baby on the way for Mary Margaret and David, and now a wedding to plan for Robin & Regina (and a house to find and move into).

Regina goes upstairs to the bathroom, and as she leaves, she notices Ruff on the stairs. She rolls her eyes, because she thinks Roland has tried to go and get in their bed, even though she told him he had to stay put (he's had a habit of sleeping in their bed, adjusting to new life in the States), and she's been lenient, but tonight she'd quite like to indulge in all sorts of activities with her HUSBAND-TO-BE (and the lingerie she's surprised him with as an present)

She goes into the room, and sure enough, Roland isn't there. She goes into their room, but he isn't there either. And something isn't ... right. She goes in to check on Henry, and the bottom drops out of her stomach - because Henry isn't in bed either.

Alerts the other adults, searches the house top to bottom, neither kid is anywhere to be found.

Something about Prince is mentioned - panic begins that something has happened to them.

They hurry outside, David giving Robin and Emma a gun each, knowing they both know how to use them safely, and they split up to hunt the acres of the farm. Emma and Mary will check the chicken pen, Regina will go with David and check the stables, and Robin will go to the hay barn.

They're in the chicken pen - both kids hiding under the ledge that houses the birds, cowering in the corner, freezing to their bones, and Emma calls Regina to tell them.

They can't coax Roland out - he tells them if he comes out that man will take him - and Henry tells them he woke up because he heard Roland crying, and when he went to check on him, the boy was being dragged through the dark by a man with a gun, rambling on and on about how it was okay, he was family, and he wouldn't hurt Roland.

Henry seemingly disrupted things, and the man pointed a gun in his face and told him to stay silent and come too, and he was forced to climb down the drain at the nursery at the back of the house.

Henry & Roland managed to escape, and Henry really does think the man didn't want to use the gun or he'd have shot them when they ran, and they made it to the chicken pen. They don't know where the man is now.

Regina coaxes Roland out, tells him to trust mommy, she won't let anyone take him away, and he falls into her arms easily then.

They are walking back to the house, David trying to call Robin and unable to get through - the farm has always had dodgy cell reception - Emma says she'll run ahead and tell him (because Regina is carrying Roland and Mary is too pregnant to do much more than walk, and David is carrying Henry, because both boys are too cold to move)

A gun shot sounds through the air, freezes them all in their movements,and It's then that she senses it, smells it, her nose twitching as the unmistakable smell of smoke carries through the bitter air.

Something is on fire.

- BREAK INTO ROBIN'S POV -

Him leaving Regina to go with David to the stables, him going to the hay barn, being met with Prince.

Final showdown/ has it out with his son's uncle

"You can't take him, I won't let you, your pathetic attempts to have me sent down backfired."

"I can give him everything he deserves," Prince spits, "you've made him forget all about his mother, about my baby sister! He's got some new bitch for a mother now."

"Something that wouldn't have happened had Marian not been so warped by the lifestyle YOU lead her into! She couldn't bare you, Jonathan. She hated your life, and the way you acted with her and everyone around you. Marian was terrified of you!"

Prince smoking, flicks it to the hay on the floor, and it catches.

Both men have a gun,both know the stakes are high because neither misses a mark

Robin internal thoughts - why is this happening now? When he's finally happy, when he's got his boy and his bride-to-be and they're finally on the right track to a better life?

A fire begins, flames flickering through the hay, growing with every second to the point Robin can feel the heat on his skin.

Argument gets more heated as the fire gets bigger, as smoke builds in the barn, and as Prince throws his gun up in a fit of rage, Robin is JUST quicker, swings his arm up and around to curve the bullet - it lands straight between Prince's eyes.

-BREAK BACK INTO REGINA'S POV -

They're at the porch, drop Henry and Roland down for Mary to sort, and Regina and David bolt round to the other side of the house.

Emma is running back towards them, shouting for David not to let Regina see, but he isn't quick enough to grab her, and as she rounds on the house, as the smell gets stronger and stronger, as smoke begins to billow into the sky against an orange glow, Regina is met with the sight of the hay barn fully ablaze.

Her heart stops - bile rising in her throat, and she's pretty sure she wouldn't still be upright, her legs would have given way, had David not finally caught up and grabbed around her middle because she subconsciously ran towards the fire shouting robin's name without realising it.

Regina internal dialogue - devastation, no, this cannot be happening, he cannot be gone, cannot have been snatched away from her when she's only just found him, when they've got their whole lives ahead of them.

he cannot leave roland

he cannot leave her

It's awful, and as the flames rise higher, lighting up the sky as the sound of sirens become more obvious in the distance, all Regina can do is fall from David's arms and sob in the icy grass as she watches her life burn to the ground.

"David," Emma says as she cocks her gun and points. It throws Regina, pulls her from her despair, and she follows her sister's gaze to a figure stumbling towards them, the only thing visible in the orange glow of the flames is his silhouette, but she knows it's him.

She knows it is Robin coming towards them.

Regina internal thoughts - HOLY FUCK THANK GOD

R&R reunion as the fire brigade, ambulances and david's officers turn up

His skin is black with ash, and coughing like crazy, but he's alive, and that is all she cares about.

Aftermath - Regina with Robin and Roland being checked out by paramedics in the house, the whole family around them as the story wraps up

R&R moment, she's peeling off his clothes and wiping the soot off his skin, all very intimate(bathroom? Bedroom?), Regina contemplates a life now Prince is dead.

Now all this is finally over.

EPILOGUE

She probably registers the rain first.

The sound of the droplets of water hitting the gutter outside; the bedroom window is open, cracked just an inch because the summer has been unrelenting, unforgiving, and as July 4 came and went, the heatwave it brought with it had lingered and still hasn't let up.

Regina has been cranky, all kinds of lethargic and a nightmare to live with, she's sure, so the sound of the rain as it washes down their windows, as it hits the sidewalk in an almost hypnotic rhythm is like music to her ears. She loves the summer months, don't get her wrong - will take a heatwave over snow any day - but the idea that they could have even a few days without sticky, sweaty skin and their a/c cranked up makes her breathe out a sigh of relief in her sleep-addled haze.

It is definitely the rain she registers first. The ringing comes second.

Loud, intrusive, and at first she's not quite sure whether it's a dream or really happening. It's only when Robin groans beside her, only when she hears him fumble for his cell on the nightstand does Regina realise that no, she isn't dreaming. Someone really is calling.

"S'not mine," Robin grumbles, voice thick with sleep, tossing his phone back down with a clatter before attempting to reach over and grab hers. She gets there first, grabs her cell from the surface and cracks one eye open.

Number Withheld it tells her, makes her more alert because it's still dark out, and who would be calling in the middle of the night if not for an emergency? She blinks a few times, eyelids becoming less heavy with each open and close, swallows hard as she swipes her thumb across the screen and brings the cell to her ear.

"Hello?" She asks, her voice cracking because she's not used it in hours, could really do with a glass of water to stop her mouth and her throat feeling dry and mangy.

"It's me," a voice tells her after a short pause, and Regina feels her muscles loosen, pushes a huff of air from her lips as her eyes roll and she relaxes onto her back, adjusts her head slightly on her pillow.

"What do you want?" She asks curtly, attempting to abate her anger that he's called - scared her shitless that some kind of disaster had happened that required officials to call her in the dead of night - again. Robin must sense that the phone call isn't as urgent as they had first believed, because he drops back down to the bed, makes the springs creak and her body lean inwards as his weight has the mattress dipping in the middle.

"I need your help," the voice on the other end of the phone informs her.

"With what?" She asks, letting her eyes flutter back shut.

Robin reaches over to pull her body a little closer to his own, absentmindedly rubs circles over her belly as he buries his face further into the pillow, murmurs, "who is it?"

"It's Gold," she quietly informs him with a sigh and a slight pout.

"Tell him to sod off."

Regina smirks a little, glances over to see him settle back down to sleep, then asks Gold again, "What do you need my help with?"

He's stayed silent during her exchange, makes no mention of Robin's words - words he no doubt heard, she's doing nothing to cover the receiver and the cell is right next to his head - and speaks after the brief pause provided by a long distance phone call. "I've got a case."

"Ah," she breathes out. It should probably please her, that he's come crawling back like a dog with its tail between its hind legs, that once again he wants her help, but it doesn't. It's just tiresome. She mentally rolls her eyes, purses her lips and remains quiet, a wordless invitation for him to go on, because even though she has absolutely no intention of helping this time, has no want to help, it doesn't mean she isn't curious as to what he's gotten himself into now.

"A man who's been accused of embezzling hundreds of thousands of pounds," Gold informs her curtly.

"And did he?" She asks, semi interested in the answer - is trying to ignore the tickling sensation of Robin's fingers swirling her abdomen while he 'sleeps' soundly beside her.

"Probably. He's built his entire empire on what he calls his ability to turn anything to gold. He's promised me he's innocent but well, you and I both know there's only a rare exception in clients who tell the truth."

That she does. Regina turns her head, feels her mouth twitch with a small smile as her eyes move over the features of the man lying on her left. There are lines on his face that weren't there before they met, a story of stress and turmoil and wrongdoing etched into his skin and yes, she definitely does know that there are rare exceptions when clients protesting their innocence are true in their words.

"Sounds like you've got your work cut out for you," she says matter-of-factly.

Gold murmurs something she doesn't quite catch, then presses on with, "So I can count you in? Lennie and Mel have agreed."

There is a fleeting thought that passes through her mind - one of exactly what would happen should she agree and take his case. Working with Mel again sure appeals, it's been far too long since she's seen her old friend. Lennie, well, she hasn't seen the redhead since Robin's case and has absolutely no desire to, but Regina thinks she could probably do a good job of ignoring her old frenemy if she had to.

That thought though, passes by in the blink of an eye and makes her feel nothing. She can see Mel when she's next in Boston (and save herself the trouble of flights and hotels and getting used to everything British again - not that she could go even if she wanted to). She looks back over at Robin, places her hand atop his and twists his wedding ring slightly. The gesture has his fingers halt in their continuous movement, and he flattens his palm against the small swell of her stomach.

Had anyone told her after Katherine died, after Glass's case that her next client would end up her husband and give her two children (one of which she's currently growing, nurturing in what was supposed to be a womb too hostile to house a foetus) she would have laughed in their face and accused them of ingesting illegal substances.

She is seventeen weeks in now, the summer months grating on her body worse than her pregnancy. She's been hot tempered and uncomfortable, nauseous and gassy - much to her husband's amusement, never mind the fact she finds it embarrassing. And painful. She'll take it though, take the vomiting and exhaustion, the strange appetite and the fact she now has the weirdest sleeping pattern known to man. She will take the fact she's been put on bedrest strict enough to mean she can't so much as drive her son to kindergarten, can't work or shop or stand long enough for anything other than shower and to get from her bed to the couch, or the car, whenever she has an appointment with her doctor.

It's a boy. Tonight. Tomorrow it will likely be a girl and Regina will start her yo-yoing all over again. Robin doesn't want to know what they're having (Marian had found out with Roland, he wants this one to be a surprise), and all she really cares about is that it's healthy and happy, so they've decided to keep it a surprise. But today, it's been a boy. All week really, and she's so sure she's giving their son a little brother that she's actually started putting all things blue in her basket on Amazon. Until next week, when she's no doubt the blue things will be tossed aside and everything pink and frilly will take place.

Names have been a battle. Everything Robin likes, Regina hates. Mary Margaret suggested they let Roland choose - include him in the naming process - and it's a kind gesture, one Regina is sure he would feel elated at the prospect of, and she's given it thought, really, she has. But then Robin had bought him a new stuffed monkey to replace Ruff (and oh, how that mishap had been a catastrophe - one that had ended in a crying fit so severe Roland had nearly been sick) and their boy had named it Winston. She had immediately gone off the idea of promising him he could name the baby.

This period of her life is moving at a rate both torturously slow and too quick for her liking. Time seems to stand still during the hours Robin is at work and Roland is at school, the hands of the clock only pushing forward when her sisters come to visit, or her husband can swing working from home and not at the office, and she's not totally alone staring at the same four walls of the house all day long.

The bedrest has been a necessity though, one she knows is unavoidable after two hospital trips and some bleeding - not to mention her medical history and the fact this pregnancy seems somewhat of a miracle. Not impossible, it was never impossible, her doctor has promised, it just means she has to have a close eye on her. It was fine to begin with - Regina was nearly 10 weeks along when she found out, (sitting on the bathroom floor after weeks of feeling sapped of energy - Robin had found her huddled up by the tub, sobs wracking her body because she couldn't bare the idea she would lose their baby. He had held her and kissed her, scooped her up in his arms and been exactly what he always is in a crisis - calm). She'd been assured by her doctors she was fine to go about her life as usual, to watch what she was eating and listen to her body … that she was out of the 'danger zone'. And then three weeks had gone by and she'd bled, and panicked, and her blood pressure had gone sky high and her doctor had done a complete 180 and told Regina she would have to stay on bedrest for at least a month, that they would review how she was feeling week by week.

And then this fucking heat wave had hit. And how she's feeling now is nothing short of pissed off all the time. She has another appointment this coming Thursday, is praying with every fibre of her being that her blood pressure has righted itself and she'll be allowed to at least play with Roland, or tend to her garden.

So the rain, the unrelenting splash, splash, splashing on the sidewalk and down the windows and hitting the roof tiles is an absolute godsend. Regina inhales, laces her fingers with Robin's over the life knitting together inside her, and sighs out contently.

"No," she tells Gold. "Count me out of this one," smiles warmly at Robin, feels the heat of his palm against her flesh as a feeling of serene closure floods her veins. She tells Gold good luck, genuinely means it too, is finally feeling the weight of guilt and self-loathing and a desire to prove herself ebbing away and being replaced by a zen contentedness. They're still there, still rear their ugly heads from time to time, when she's feeling low or scared - she won't be a good mother, isn't a good mother, or wife, doesn't deserve any of the things she's got because she's the reason her best friend and first love and the baby she never got a chance to meet are all dead - but they frequent much less often now. So much so that Regina feels genuinely happy almost all of the time. Excited for the future ahead, to meet their child and just bask in being in love, revel in this man she's bagged and the life he's given her.

Robin turns his hand, gives her fingers a reassuring squeeze as she repeats her answer to Gold. Really, I hope it goes well, but no, thank you.

She is good right where she is.