Well, she said it. She said I would be surprised and I have to admit that I am very surprised in what has happened as of late. I mean, I think I scared Victoria. And Trish is fine. Ain't nothing wrong with her. She's just taking a shopping trip. Watch when she comes into the airport with a bunch of bags in each hand; claiming to have some kind of injury.

But that's not the point I was trying to make. What I guess I'm trying to say is that I am surprised. Not pleasantly surprised mind you, but surprised. Lita was right. Jeff did shock me. And that's why I'm standing outside his door in this hotel.

If Lita and his brother won't talk to him, then I will before the boy kills himself. I mean what the hell was he thinking running into the Undertaker's and RVD's match? Pushing RVD off and slapping the Undertaker?! Then going up against Chris Jericho tonight just to lose again?! I bet he's really sore and bruised.

Hey, I know what you're thinking. You think I'm just going over here because I'm worried don't you? You think I'm going over here to make sure he's okay and that I'm actually attracted to him don't you? Well, you're wrong.

He's throwing some kind of tantrum and I want him to either suck it up or do something about it before we both go insane. His room is right next to mine in the crap hotel. Which I think 'someone' set up. Some of us have to compete in some house shows later on this week and I think the fans would prefer that we didn't just fall asleep in the middle of the ring.

So here I am, banging on the door, trying to get through to this boy before he kills himself or someone else.

" Jeff Hardy!! Open up!!"

The yelling and cursing subsides and I think I hear some shuffling going on in there. Aww, he's trying to make his place suitable for me. I-I mean he's cleaning up so I won't think his place has roaches. Well, with this little hotel I wouldn't be too surprised; even if the room was clean.

" Oh. Jazz. It's you."

" Yeah it's me. What are you doing in here? Throwing a tantrum or destroying Tokyo?!"

Now he's blushing. He can wear facepaint and all kinds of colors in his hair and he blushes when someone comments on him making too much noise. I tell ya this kid is something special. He can look like he jumped off the Cool-Aid tree and hit every branch, but this he blushes at?!

 Not to say that he doesn't look cute when he blushes. Kinda like the boy-next-door with his hand caught in the cookie jar. Now he's looking down to try and hid his blush. KAWAII! I mean, CUTE!!! Gah! I don't mean that either! Stupid Trish and her putting false ideas in my head!

" No. I was, umm, just, uh, venting. Was I too loud?"

" Uh, yeah." What did he think, he was too quiet?! No, no, I always enjoy the Sounds of a Venting Hardy Boy as I go to sleep. That's what I always listen to on the road. I mean I have to beg my brothers to bang pots and pans when I go home. Of course you were too loud you bloody git!

Whoa.

No more sharing a cab with William Regal and Lance Storm. Those two are starting to rub off on me.

" Sorry." Oh Bloody Mary, does he have to look like that when he apologizes?! I mean he might as well give me puppy eyes. Looking down at the ground like that. Now he's embarrassed?! After all the colors of the rainbow have been in his hair and on his face, now he's embarrassed?! Oy…

Why does he have to look so cute doing it?! I bet if he did that in matches he'd win a lot more than he does now. This must be why he has all those female fans. He looks so cute like that…ARG!!!

" Carlene? Hell-o? Jazzy? Earth to Carlene?! Come in Carlene; we're losing you."

" Huh? Oh!"

" Are you okay?"

" Yeah. I'm fine. Just fine."

" You wanna come in? It's kinda cold out in the hallway."

" It's cold period. This cheap place ain't got no heat. Unless you count the manager's room. I bet he has cable and hot water." That bloody prat of a manager charges an arm and a leg then you get this bloody soddy room without any heat, air, hot water or cable. And you have to pay to use the phone; double if it's out of town. You're so going to pay for this Regal. I should have known not to trust you when you said you already reserved a room in some 'classy' place for me.

" Yeah. All the other super stars are staying someplace else. A lot better than this place."

" Then what are you doin' here?"

" Well, when I heard that Lance and Regal had given you the address to a bum hotel in the middle of nowhere, well, I came to make sure nothing happened to you." There he goes. Lookin' all embarrassed again.

" Uh…well…thanks. That's sweet. I-I mean I can take care of myself. I know how to tough it out." Now I'm getting embarrassed. Oy, this must be contagious.

" Oh I know you're more than capable of taking care of yourself. But my parents always told me that you should never let a lady go anywhere alone if you can help it. Even if she could kick your butt." There goes that charming smile. He's really adorable when he does that; even if he is black and blue all over.  Ack! Who said that?!

" Judging by your bruises, I'd say someone already has. Since we're both up and neither are getting anymore sleep, mind if I help with that?" Well I can't very well just let the boy go with half his body a contusion. He'd probably try to compete with it though. I wouldn't put anything past him.

" Sure!!" Well, that didn't take long. Look at him; he almost tripped over himself trying to let me by. ^^ If I didn't know any better, I'd swear the Hardy Boy had a crush on me.

Oh

My

God.

That must be it. He's got a crush on me! Well, if this is what Lita meant, then I'm really surprised. I mean, me? Why would he have a crush on me? Guys like him aren't supposed to go for the dominant female. They're supposed to go for girls like Stacy and Terri. Not me. Of course, there is the odd case out.

I mean look at Jackie and Batista. Unlikely couple right? Well, no one would have guessed it. But one day Ric Flair asked her if she had seen…someone important, can't remember. But she was busy putting her hair in a ponytail (I kid you not, it's really that long) and gave him a quick 'no' and went back to what she was doing. Then he went off ranting about who he was and he thrust the walking bicep in her face like he always does to intimidate other people.

But, uh, Miss Jackie wasn't haven' it and when he got in her face, she slapped him out of it. Ever since then the boy's been hott for her. I don't care what Flair says, if Jackie showed up at the top of the ramp in a wet T-shirt and his tights, even if the World Heavyweight Title was on the line and he was winning, I promise you he'd be up that ramp like greased lightning and wouldn't look back. You wouldn't hear from them for a while. Well, actually, yes you would. And they would be loud.

But enough about them. Hell, I could be reading too much into this. He could just be in pain and will only accept help from someone who really won't care if his extremist façade is cracked just a little while he's hurt.

" So, where should we start?"

" Could you get my back? I can't reach that far."

Stupid me nodded. Of course I didn't think beforehand that he would have to take his shirt off and lay across his bed wearing only neon orange boxers which I will not ask about. I have control and I am not attracted-

-But that's just plain cruel!!