So this song Moments by One Direction is by far one of my favorite songs of theirs. And when I read this comment on facebook by a directioner saying that she thought Moments was a song about a dead girl, I thought of Divergent. So I tried to write this songfic but I had to delete the lyrics so if you want you guys could just listen to the music while reading this :) I hope you guys like it :)
I wake up in the middle of the night and sneak into the Morgue, eager to see Tris, if only to make sure that I'm not dreaming.
My hands reach out to remove the blanket covering her beautiful face. When my hand is only a few inches from the sheet I pull back. Do I really want to see her like this again?
After a moment's hesitation I gently remove the sheet. It was dark but enough light filtered through the shades to show her face and I feel my heart break all over again.
Tris' skin was so pale it almost blended with the white colored sheet covering her. She no longer had that strong, dedicated aura about her, instead she radiated nothing but cold air. And her eyes were closed shut so I can no longer see those beautiful blue orbs that I love so much.
I move closer to her and with trembling hands, I stroke her cheek. The feel of her cold skin against my fingers was enough to send me over the edge and I grip the edges of the table and sink to my knees as tears flood my eyes.
"Why Tris? Why did you leave me? I had so much planned for us, our future. We were going to have a beautiful house in Chicago, somewhere far from our old homes. We were supposed to start over. Start a family."
I pull back my right arm and punch the hard table. "Uggg! Why did I ever leave you alone Tris?! I should never have left your side. I should've jumped in front of that bullet. I should've kept you from going into that safe. I should've done something. If I had, then you'd still be alive today. You'd be with Christina in Chicago and not alone in this cold Morgue."
"I should've saved you Tris. Why didn't I save you?" My grip tightens its hold on the edge as more tears pour out of my eyes. "I should've saved you. I should've saved you." I say this over and over again along with the words "I'm sorry."
Once I got my tears to slow down I stand up and look at my love's beautiful face, if I could just stop crying I could almost make myself believe she's just sleeping. "I'm sorry I couldn't save you." I brush her hair back and lean forward to plant a small kiss on her cold forehead. "I love you Tris. Always."
I leave the morgue and start walking away from her. I don't even know where I'm going, all I know is I want to escape. Escape from this horrible pain deep inside me.
This is too much for me. A part of me still believes that she's still alive, this is just too surreal. And to think the last thing I said to her was a promise that I'll see her soon. And now... now I never get to keep that promise.
The only emotion I feel right now that is stronger than grief, is anger. Anger at Caleb for letting her take his place. Anger at David for shooting her. Anger at her for being so selfless. Anger at the world for taking her away so soon. And anger at myself for not being able to save her.
I was so lost in my grief and anger that I hadn't even realized I was no longer in the Bureau, instead I was in a vast, open desert. I do the only thing I could think of at the moment. I call out her name and then I start to run.
I ran fast and hard with no particular destination. Maybe if I run fast enough I'd be able to turn back time and do what I should've done and save Tris.
Dawn was already approaching but I just kept running and running. I love you Tobias. "I love you too Tris." I reply to Tris' voice in my head.
While I ran, pictures flashed before my eyes. Memories. My memories of Tris.
I see a speck of grey falling from the sky as she jumps into Dauntless Headquarters and into my life.
That was the first time I ever heard her voice and it was music to my ears.
I see her in the training room, her long blonde hair whipping behind her as she fights an imaginary opponent.
I see our first kiss on the chasm.
I see her in my old Abnegation room, her sleeping figure lying on my bed.
I see her face as I promise her I'd see her soon before I leave for Chicago to talk to Evelyn.
My flashbacks ended and on the horizon, I could see the sun peeking out from the darkness. But more importantly, I see a cliff.
My heart leaps at the sight of the cliff and I run faster. Eager to reach that point where the land comes to an abrupt halt.
That cliff could be the last chance I have to be with Tris again. A chance for me to fulfill my promise and see her again. A chance to have her in my arms again.
When I finally reach the cliff, I stop for a moment and look down. I close my eyes and feel the first rays of the sun warm my skin.
As I take a step forward and ready myself for the big leap, Tris' face appears before me. And the image of her frowning face is enough to make me rethink my jump. Would she want me to do this? To kill myself so we could be together?
As the image of Tris disappears, I make my decision. I will live. For her. I will do everything I can to make her happy even though she's not here. Because I'm pretty sure she wouldn't want me to die just like that, even if it meant being together again. I know because if our tables were turned, I would want her to live a full life without me. So that's what I'll do.
I will no longer have a future of living with Tris, but I still have chance at a future of living for Tris.
AN And that's that. I hope you guys liked it. It's my first songfic ever. R&R please :D