It's been two months since April, Casey and the turtles had to move to April's farmhouse. Everyone was slowly trying to get a hold of their new lives but the turtles were more than worried about Leonardo, their brother had an encounter with the Shredder and since then he hasn't opened his eyes. Donnie had told Raph that Leo might not wake up, there was a small chance of seeing his brother awake again, he had some serious bruisesnd his body wasn't healing as he expected. Donnie warned Raph not to tell this to Mikey, Donnie wanted to tell Mikey himself after waiting a little more and run a few tests on Leo, just to be sure.

Raphael couldn't believe what Donnie had said, his leader, his brother, his best friend would probably never wake up and die and Raph never got a chance to tell Leo how much he meant to him, Raph never meant it when he called Leo "Lame-o-nardo", he actually thought Leo was a good leader, it's obvious that neither Raph nor Donnie nor Mikey will ever reach Leo's leadership skills and all Raph ever did was complain about Leo's stupid orders. Raph knew they weren't stupid. Raph knew Leo only wanted his brothers to be safe and none of them ever thanked to him.

Raph was in the bathroom, watching over Leo who was unconscious inside the bathtub. It was almost 2:00AM and Raphael felt like crying, there was a lot of rage building up inside him. Raph wanted to yell, he wanted to run into the forest and try to escape from this terrible reality. If he had Shredder right in front of him Raph would use all his strength and his anger against him and his men. Anger. He realized what he had thought and remembered all of Splinter's lessons about controlling his anger.

The red clad turtle realized that not only he needed his big brother to wake up and tell him everything's going to be ok, Raph needed his father too. Everyone was stressed with the whole Leo situation, if master Splinter were here it could be easier to take care of Leo, Donnie was doing a great job but you could already see bags under Donnie's eyes. Raph feared Donnie to get sick if he kept doing that but tonight Raph had forced his brother to sleep. If there's something that Raph hates about Donnie is that he thinks he doesn't need help when taking care of Leo, Donnie is probably feeling guilty about this, once Raph could have sworn he heard Donnie crying until sleep took over him but he must learn that no one blames him, not even Leo could blame Donnie…if only he was awake.

In the other hand, Michelangelo has been having nightmare about Leo dying. Mikey would never tell the others about the nightmares, he didn't need his brothers to have another reason to be worried.

The small turtles couldn't believe all this was happening; did they ever do something bad or something? Why do bad things always happen to his family? Mikey was a happy turtle, he loved his friends and his family and he know they loved him back but disgrace always seemed to be on their side. Yes, Mikey always considered himself lucky just by the fact that he is alive and he has a family but he missed his father, he missed his big brother. The other day a sleepy Donnie yelled at him and a stressed Raph had pushed him so hard that the fall got him a sprained wrist and April was kind enough to take care of it.

Mikey felt his world was crumbling and being happy all the time was harder with every second that passed.

Two months and Leo wasn't getting any better.
Two months and Donnie had barely slept.
Two months and Raph would hit anything on his way.
Two months and April was doing her best to calm everyone down.
Two months and Casey wouldn't stop pretending he had gotten over the fact of losing his family.

2:35AM and the small turtle decided to go for a walk on his own in the woods. He didn't care if anything happened to him, he just needed to clear his mind and face the fact that he could lose a brother, he had heard Raph and Donnie talking and he felt something dying inside of him. Mikey wanted Leo to wake up, he wanted to hug his as he always did and he wanted Leo to take his nightmares away. Why? He didn't want to live without Leo, he had already lost his father and he didn't want to lose his eldest brother either.

Mikey felt a tear rolling down his check and a big lump in his throat. When he was far enough from the farmhouse, he couldn't hold it anymore and started screaming and crying. It was too much for him, not even the youngest turtle could be happy at a moment like this. Mikey was doing his best to keep his family together but he only got yelled by Donnie and a sprained wrist.

Mikey fell to his knees as he hold his head in his hands, the voices of people screaming in New York because of Kraang's invasion were revolving his head, the image of April's friend destroying their home, April's dad mutating again, Leo being thrown through the window. It was too much for him, he wished to disappear right there in that moment, he wanted to wake up from that nightmare.

-"Crying is not gonna make Leo heal faster, Michelangelo"

Mikey heard a voice and he stopped crying. He turned his head to see his brother standing next to a tree.

-"Crying is not going to bring master Splinter back." Raph said as he stared at his little brother in the ground. "Stand up, Michelangelo."

The young turtle didn't understand what was happening but he did as he was told and slowly stood up facing at the ground under him.

-"Why…why did you follow me?" said Mikey between sobs that were escaping his mouth.

-"What did you want me to do? To let you get lost in this place? I bet you didn't even see which way you took to get here." Raph said not moving from where he was.

His brother was right; Mikey didn't know where the farmhouse was.

-"And I can't understand the reason of that childish cry of yours"

-"I heard you and Donnie talking, Raph. Donnie said Leo has a small change of healing…" Mikey said as he felt more tears coming out from his eyes.

-"So?" Raph said. He voice was cold, something Mikey never expected to hear.

-"What?" Mikey asked looking at Raph "Don't you care? YOUR BROTHER IS DYING RAPHAEL" the small turtle started yelling at him. "I already lost my dad…I don't want to lose my brother. You know, Raph? He was the only one I could talk to" Mikey felt hat horrible lump in his throat again and started crying once more "I could talk to him about my problems and he would help me, he wouldn't yell at me like Donnie did the other day…he never pushed me out of his way and get me a sprained wrist." Mikey slowly showed his wrist so Raph could see it.

Raph remembers that, he was mad and pushed his brother and he never checked if he was okay.

-"Of course I care, you idiot. I care about Leo, about Splinter, about Donnie, I care about all of you" Raph said walking toward his little brother. "…but I learned that crying is not gonna solve anything."Raph reached his brother and put his arms on Mikey's shoulders. "And that's something you need to learn too"

-"But Raph, it's not only Leo or Splinter…it's about what happened in New York, that poor people the-they're all mutants and we couldn't do anything about it…And our friends…what happened to Murakami, to Leatherhead? I just want to know if they're ok, I WANT EVERYTHING TO GO BACK TO NORMAL RAPHAEL!" Mikey screamed but stopped when he felt Raphael hugging him.

There was a small silence and Raph started talking again "Mikey, everything's going to be okay…" Raph said rubbing Mikey's head.

-"I've been having these nightmares Raph, every single night" Mikey sobbed "This nightmare about Leo dying in front of our eyes and master Splinter dead and I can't take it anymore Raph, I can't." Mikey hugged Raph and started crying even harder.

-"That won't happen" Raph whispered in Mikey's ear as he kept rubbing his head.

-"H-How do y-you know?" Mikey asked

-"I know it because…because once a brave turtle told me Master Splinter was a great ninja master and he was going to be okay." Raph said letting go of Mikey and putting his finger under Mikey's chin so he could look at him in the eyes "I want that brave turtle to know that Leo is a great ninja too and he loves us so much that he won't leave us alone without fighting. Mikey, someday he'll wake up, I can feel it, and when that happens we'll make a plan and go back to New York City to show Kraang not to mess up with our city but, you have to promise me something little boy, you need to promise me you'll stay strong for Leo, Leo wouldn't want see you crying" Raph said as he wiped away Mikey's tears "Donnie never meant to yell at you, the other day he told me he was going to apologize to you as soon as he could but give him time, the poor guy doesn't even have time for himself…and I'm sorry for your wrist, I'm sorry for letting all my anger out on you" Raph said pulling Mikey in a hug once again.

-"No prob, Raph. I just needed to let it all out, I guess I'm feeling a little better now" Mikey said returning Raph's hug.

-"Good to hear that" Raph said as he let go of Mikey "Now, C'mon" he offered Mikey to take him on his back to the farmhouse "It's late and Donnie will kill me if he wakes up and doesn't see me watching over Leo" Mikey agreed and wrapped his arms around Raph's neck as he was lifted by his brother.

-"I'm glad you followed me, Raph, I really don't know where the farmhouse is." Mikey said as Raph started moving.

-"…" Raph stayed quiet as he kept walking.

-"You do know the way back, right?" Mikey questioned when he didn't hear his brother answering.

-"Maybe I do, maybe I don't" Raph said a little ashamed.

-"Dude, c'mon!"

After walking in circles for almost an hour Raph got to the farmhouse with a sleeping Mikey on his back and an angry Donnie waiting for him at the entrance. Donnie was mostly worried about Mikey and when he couldn't find Raph either he hoped that Raph was with his little brother. Donnie's angry face turned into a warm smile when he saw his only little brother sleeping peacefully on Raph's back. Donnie took Mikey in his arms as Raph started telling him his small adventure.

When Raph helped his brother to take Mikey to his room and forced Donnie to go back to sleep he took seat next to his older brother and grabbed his hand

-"We won't give up our hopes, bro. They need you…and so do I."

Hi everyone, this is my first fanfiction, I'm more of a fanart person but a friend of mine really wanted to see a fic from me.
I'm currently studying English so please forgive me if you find any spelling mistake.
Reviews are welcome, they'll help me improve :)

By the way, TMNT doesn't belong to me.

Thanks for reading!