I own nothing except the mistakes, they belong to me because I have no beta.

Sherlock Holmes didn't drink, he didn't drink and he didn't lament, and he certainly didn't lament the upcoming nuptials of a certain pathologist. However, here he was at a random pub deep in the heart of London alone, drinking the most expensive scotch his brother's money could buy. He had been here for over an hour, trying to quite his mind and calm his thoughts, but no matter what he did or how much he drank there she was... Molly Hooper. He couldn't figure why his perfectly honed mind was suddenly betraying him after all this time. If he was honest she had been infiltrating his mind palace for months, okay years but he didn't want to think about that right now. Right now he just wanted to forget about her and her stupid wedding and stupid dress and stupid flowers and stupid face covered with a white veil. No, that wasn't right. Molly's face was anything but stupid it was... perfect. Shit! Sherlock raised his hand to the bar tender and pointed to his glass.

This is John Watson's fault... he thought. He made me human. Made me care. NO. Molly had been there before John, she started years before didn't she? With her shy giggles and her huge brown eyes and blushing every time Sherlock came into the room. Wait, I dealt with that for years, that can't be it! He took another drink and once again tried to clear his mind, the scotch was a poor substitute for what his mind and body always wanted but NO, she'd never forgive him this time so the scotch would have to do.

Something had changed, maybe it was being attached. The Meat Dagger. She was getting married tomorrow and there was nothing he could do about it. Nothing. Getting married and abandoning him, just like John, no, worse than John. Why is it worse than John? Urgh! He took another drink. Molly, she didn't blush the same way anymore, well she still blushed but just not as much. Oh, it's Meat Dagger's fault. Stupid Meat Dagger! The man's a moron, not worthy of Molly Hooper's love. I wouldn't have noticed her if she wasn't attached. That's it!

Wrong again! Of course he was wrong, he had thought about her almost constantly while he was gone for two years and he had no idea that Tom even existed back then. Two years fighting, hunting, spying, killing and thinking about Molly Hooper. Her beautiful hair, long the perfect shade of brown. Her lips, oh to kiss those lips just once, no not once... forever. Her awful sense of humor... the worst but he loved it so much, every joke, morbid as they were had warmed his soul. Damn. Not the Dagger's fault then. Maybe he was just getting old, addled, he needed more cases, more stimulus. More Molly. But after tomorrow there'd be no more Molly, she'd belong to someone else and any claim he EVER thought he had would be forfeit. After tomorrow no more Molly Hoo...

"Hey!" Molly Hooper said, taking the empty stool next to him. Sherlock for his part just sat there thinking that somehow his subconscious had conjured her out of thin air, but no, she was here in the flesh. And what an amazing sight she was, wearing a strapless floral dress that ended just below her knees with her hair flowing over shoulders looking like some kind of vision in pastels.

"How drunk are you Sherlock? Say something, like hello." she said waving a hand in front of his face.

Sherlock shook himself out of his Molly induced stupor and said "Why are you here, how did you find me?"

"I'm here because Mary got a call from John during my Hen Night saying you were MIA and he was going looking for you, he used the GPS on your phone to track you down, one of your tricks. Mary thought it would be a good idea for me to come get you instead and I agreed. So why is Sherlock Holmes drinking, which he doesn't do, in public no less?"

How humiliating, if John had come to get him he could have mocked him and taken his frustration out on him instead of the scotch, but no, they sent Molly. This is diabolical.

"I felt like having a drink and didn't have any scotch. There's you're answer, go back to your Hen party. I'm fine." He said going back to his drink.

"I'm not leaving unless you come with me and anyway, I really don't want go back. I wasn't having any fun. Not my kind of thing."

"It's a party in your honor, what do you mean you weren't having any fun?"

"You are avoiding Sherlock. Why are drinking at all?" Molly asked insistently.

She really isn't going to let this go is she? There was really no scenario that Sherlock could think of that ended well. He could snipe at her and maybe she'd run out in tears, no, he could not take a crying Molly Hooper right now, besides even Sherlock knew that making a woman cry the night before her wedding was a bit not good. He could make something up, but right now he was having trouble concentrating on anything other than how lovely her neck looked completely exposed since she had swept her hair to one side just a few moments ago. Of course he could just tell her the truth. I love you and I'm a selfish bastard that wants you all to myself, to be my pathologist, my assistant and my lover.

"I have given you an answer, it's all I have. Please go." It's all he could come up with but he did manage to tear his eyes off of her lovely face again.

Molly looked at him for several moments then down to her hands. "You know that the wedding won't change anything. I'll still be able to help you and we'll still be friends... at least I hope you consider us friends."

Are you kidding me? Why won't she just leave me to my misery?

"Yes, I know and yes of course we are friends." he replied much sadder than intended.

"Well then what is it? I can see you, remember? You've been different lately and that's when you even come round. Honestly at first I thought you were trying to ween yourself off of me because you thought you'd not get as much lab access after the wedding, which is ridiculous. How could you think that? Don't you know me better than that by now, I wouldn't do anything to hinder your work. It's important to you and you're important to me." Now she was leaning into Sherlock's space looking directly into his eyes, almost touching. Then she did the unthinkable. She took his hand that was sitting on his knee and she held it.

Oh dear God help me! NO! This will be my undoing!

"Sherlock, please just talk to me. Things had gotten so much better between us and now you are acting so... I don't know, distant. I'd say old like Sherlock but old Sherlock would be dismissing me and cutting me down. Now it's like I'm not even here. Look tomorrow is the most important day of my life and I need to know that you are okay, do you understand?"

He snapped! Everyone has a breaking point and this was his. Molly Hooper holding his hand and looking up at him with those eyes and begging him for the truth, it broke him.

"No Molly, no I'm not okay." he said wrenching his hand out of hers, he took a deep breath and looked the other way. "I'll never be okay, you're marrying another man tomorrow. I fucked up, I made you stop loving me and now you're marrying Meat Dagger and I'm here trying to drink enough scotch to forget it. So, no I'm very much not okay."

Molly sat there, blinking and well not understanding and maybe not breathing. Breathe, she told herself. Just breathe, and don't forget to keep breathing, now she had to process what he had just said. Marrying another man? That meant... Oh. Shit.

"Sherlock, what are you saying?"

"You're going make me say it aren't you? Lord, this is so humiliating." He shook his head then rested it in his hands.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Humiliating?" Now that it was coming together, she was mad, no not mad... totally furious.

"No, not like you think... I don't know. Just, look I answered you question can you just go now?" his head still in his hands.

"You answered one question and created a hundred more and managed to piss me off in the mean time."

He turned to her looking at her face, she was flushed now but not because of a crush, no, because he had confused and upset her. Yep, that's what Sherlock did best... you hurt her... you always do... nice job! "Molly, okay yes I'm sorry. I evidently have some unresolved emotions concerning you and your upcoming wedding has been more than difficult for me to process."

"English Sherlock!" Molly was shaking she was so mad because if he was saying what all that shite sounded like, she was gonna kill him!

Sherlock shook his head furiously and yelled (loud enough for the whole bar to hear,) "Dammit Molly, I'm in love with you and I'm freaking out because you're marring an imbecile."

Molly calmly got up and very quickly walked out of the bar.

"Fuck! Cash me out!" Sherlock yelled to the bartender and ran after her. She was still trying to flag down a cab when he got out of the bar, "Molly! Molly!"

She was going to ignore him but quickly changed her mind. "What the fuck Sherlock?" She said running up to him. "Really? Now? After all this time, all these years. Now? What am I suppose to do?"

"I don't know, I... I didn't think I'd see you and then you were asking me and I... I..."

"Are you stammering? This is precious. Amazing!" She turned away shaking her head then whipped back so fast that he jumped back a little. "How long?"

"What?" Oh shit, more questions.

"How fucking long have you been in love with me? Tell me now, NOW!"

"Molly, that's a hard question to answer. I can't say when it happened." Trying desperately to not have to tell her the truth, that he's known far too long.

"Really? I know. I know exactly when I fell in love with you. So you had better have some approximation of when this happened."

"You know, you know when you fell in love with me? When was it Molly?" Sherlock said softening considerably.

"NO! You get no rewards, right now I'm pissed. I'm confused. And you will answer questions not me! Do you understand?" They were standing near an ally on the other side of the bar away from most of the foot traffic.

"Yes, sorry. Um..." Okay backed into a corner now Holmes, figure it out! Don't hurt her any more, you've lied enough. "so when I went away you were all I could think about and um, it may have been before then but if it was I didn't know it at least didn't realize it. But I've known at least since some time after the fall. I'm sorry, you've been with him and I do want you to be happy."

Molly laughed but there was no humor in it whatsoever "Happy, how am I suppose to be happy now? Do you know how hard it is to pretend to be happy when you aren't?" Looking at him square in the eyes.

"Yes Molly I do, that's why I've been avoiding you. It's killing me knowing I'm too late. I'm so sorry. It's always been you, and I'm quite sure it always will be." She grabbed his collar and kissed him painfully but soon it softened and they were holding each other like it was the end of the world. The kiss ended and they looked at each other Molly's fingers still holding onto his coat collar and Sherlock's arms encircling her back. They stayed that way for several minutes, just breathing letting the moment catch up with them.

"What am I suppose to do?" She said very softly.

"I don't know, I only know what I want you to do, but I'm a selfish bastard. Do you love him?"

"Yes, but not like this. Not like my life depends on it, not like I've always loved you. He's safe, kind, attentive."

"Boring."

"Yes, that too. But he won't hurt me. You will won't you?"

"Most likely. But I'll never be boring. And I'll never suggest a meat dagger as a murder weapon."

"I can't guarantee I won't stab you with a fork though."

"I'll take my chances."

"This will be devastating to him. I've never had to break someone's heart before... I don't like this."

"I know, that's what makes you so amazing Molly Hooper, you finally get what you want and all you can think about is someone else's happiness."

"Well I must of rubbed off on you because you were going to let me marry him." She said resting her head on his chest.

"I only want you to be happy."

"I have to get through the next couple of days but after that... I think I will be." She smiled a bright genuine smile and Sherlock placed a chaste kiss on her lips then her forehead. "I have to go talk to Tom, this won't be easy."

"Come by Baker Street if you need to talk afterwords."

"I might."

"And call if he doesn't take it well."

"That's not like Tom, boring remember. But I will." She said stepping back finally breaking the embrace, it felt almost painful. Sherlock still held her hand.

"I love you Molly Hooper." He said kissing her knuckles.

"I love you too." Then she turned and walked down the street.

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