Author's Note / Disclaimer: There, it's not Thanksgiving when I'm posting now, is it?! Haha I kid I kid, I know that I've been a bit behind. Well, more than a bit. I do apologize. Between a new job, a new state, and switching two apartments, it's been a weird balance to sit down and find writing time. But I am making myself do it, and I've got Criminal Minds on Netflix to keep my mind on the story (even if I'm starting the whole series over instead of starting in season six when this story starts). We are starting to get a bit more traction, I think, and a change between Hotch and Nina's relationship may be on the horizon. I also think I've found a good way to end the story - not that it's coming any time soon, mind you, but I was starting to wonder if there would be a specific ending or if it would just sort of trail off. I really appreciate all of you for continuing to follow this story, and thanks to gossamermouse101, Erysima, lestrangegirlwritings1539, Wombat357, Daisyangel, and Guest for reviewing this chapter. You guys remind me that there are people who still want me to keep it up!

Chapter 18

It had been a long time since Hotch had been woken up in the middle of the night. He did not sleep very deeply - one of the side effects of the job - and when Jack started having nightmares he just got used to being up at all hours of the night. Tonight, though, it wasn't the sound of screaming that woke him. In fact, it wasn't sound at all - it was light.

The apartment that Hotch had moved into following his divorce was small, just the two bedrooms, a bathroom, and the living space that was separated from the kitchen by a half wall and a countertop. With his door cracked open, left so he could get to Jack if he needed to, the flickering light from the television shone right on Hotch's face. Hotch blinked as he set up, rubbing his eyes and wondered vaguely if he'd forgotten to shut the TV off after he watched the evening news. Still, when he got up to check, he quietly pulled his gun from the nightstand.

His encounters with Foyet left little room for walking blindly through any door, even in his own home. HIs hand absently traced one off the scars on his stomach. Especially in his own home.

The TV was indeed on, but it wasn't the usual Info-mercials that followed the news, where Hotch had left it. Instead, grainy home footage scrolled across the screen, and Hotch jerked when Haley appeared, clapping her hands.

He rounded the couch slowly to find Jack, curled up on his side under a blanket. Despite the late hour, his eyes were wide open, staring at the screen as if memorizing every detail. It was the same look that Reid got when he was looking at a chessboard.

"Hey buddy." Hotch said quietly, putting the gun down noiselessly on a side table before standing behind the couch. He reached down gently to touch his shoulder, just in case Jack had been sleepwalking or something similar. Jack didn't move. "What are you doing up?"

Jack stared at the screen, curling his feet up closer to him. "Wanted to hear Mommy."

"Come on Jack, right to me! Kick it right here!"

Hotch looked back at the screen, watching Haley's face light up with a smile as a much younger Jack kicked a soccer ball towards her. She cheered him on before holding out her arms, letting the toddler fall into a mother's hug. On the couch, Jack started to wrap his arms around himself.

Hotch sat down on the couch, wondering if he should hug Jack himself, or if the boy would squirm away as he'd done over the last few days. The dilemma was solved when Jack sat up and reversed his position, laying his head in Hotch's lap.

Hotch stroked Jack's hair for a minute before saying quietly, "We should probably get you back to bed, buddy."

Jack shifted slightly on Hotch's lap. "Five more minutes?"

Onscreen, Haley lifted the smaller Jack and blew a raspberry on his cheek.

"Five more minutes." Hotch agreed.

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"He said he wanted to hear her." Hotch said, leaning back in his chair, back to the door. "Just had the video on, listening to her voice. I don't know, we've 'talked' to her at least once a week, but something about this worries me."

Nina 'hmmmm'ed over her end of the line. "Well, it's not exactly like it's unnatural for a kid to miss his mother's voice." She pointed out. "Jack's still at an age where his memories are fragile. He's worried about forgetting those little details, like her voice."

There was a knock on the door as Garcia stuck her head in. "Sir? The team's ready."

Hotch nodded and sighed heavily.

"Got a case?" Nina asked knowingly.

"Yeah, and it might be a bad one. There's a kid dead in the woods."

The two paused, each wondering how best to put their thoughts into words.

"If I had to, I would suggest that you don't go." Nina said quietly. "I don't know what it is, but Jack has been going through something over the last few weeks and I think he'll need you."

Hotch leaned back in his seat. "I know." He admitted. "But it's a dead kid, one who's been missing for months. It's an all-hands-on-deck situation."

"I know."

Another silence fell. Hotch felt a familiar twist in his stomach, one he'd had many times while married to Haley - he was about to choose between work and family, and his choice would make someone unhappy.

On her end, Nina knew that Hotch was already beating himself up. She knew he hated disappointing Jack and being away, but he would also never forgive himself if he turned away from any B.A.U. case when someone needed him. Especially if the person who needed him was another kid.

"How about I stop by while you're gone?" She said finally. She didn't let herself think about how many lines she was probably crossing by even offering. "It's a weekend; if it's okay with you and Jessica, I can stop by and keep him company. Maybe bring Willow with me," she threw in quickly, as a last-ditch attempt to be professional about the whole thing.

Hotch hesitated. "I don't want to put you in an uncomfortable-"

"Aaron, if you're going to be gone, Jack needs people surrounding him." Nina said firmly. "Jack has been going through a rough time, we both know that, and the next few weeks aren't going to get any easier for him. Just let me help."

Hotch was quiet for a moment before replying. "Alright. I'll just let Jessica know that you're coming. Jack should be excited to see Willow." Nina could hear a tap on the other end of the phone. "I, uh, have to go."

"Be safe." Nina said softly, but Hotch was already hanging up. She leaned back in her seat, one hand to her mouth in a thoughtful gesture before picking up her phone again. "Hey, Lena? Want me to take Willow for the weekend?"

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As Hotch followed the rest of the team to the cars (Pennsylvania wasn't far), he gripped his cell phone in his pocket.

It wasn't as though Nina had never called him by his first name before - he'd joked once with her that he sometimes forgot he had a first name, since only Dave used it on a regular basis. But…when Nina said it, the word 'Aaron' sounded different. It wasn't like when she called him Superman, with a hint of a laugh, or when she called him Hotch like everyone else. When she called him 'Aaron', it was as though she was seeing something that very few people saw.

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Jessica Brooks looked far more excited to see Nina and Willow than Jack was, but Jack did manage a small smile when Willow took his hand and pulled him down to the living room floor where she was pulling out her coloring books. It took a real heart of stone to stand up to Willow's cheery inner sun, and no matter how upset Jack might be, he certainly wasn't jaded enough to have a heart of stone.

Nina and Jessica chatted in the kitchen for an hour or so as the two kids giggled, sipping cups of tea that Jessica had been more than happy to brew up. The color books kept the two busy for much longer than either of them had anticipated - Nina had to admire Jack's ability to stay inside the lines (it was a bit of a mild OCD issue she had, one she'd always had to bite down on whenever Willow gave her a birthday card), and she also noticed how all of his drawings were colored normally. Willow was a carefree artist - her jungle was filled with pink gorillas, orange elephants and blue trees. Jack's picture of a farm was colored almost by numbers - red barn, black and white cows, brown horses.

She wondered vaguely if Jack had always colored that way.

Jessica's eyes didn't leave the kids as she sipped her drink. "I want to thank you for coming this weekend." She said quietly, allowing Willow's natural noise level to cover their conversation. "He needed this. I don't know what it's been but he's been upset about something lately. I don't know for sure, but it sounds like he hasn't been talking to any of his school friends - at least he hasn't been asking for playdates - and he's not saying anything to me or Aaron."

Nina took a drink too, studying Jack. He certainly looked more animated than she'd seen him at their recent appointments, but if he wasn't connecting with his friends at school, it had to be more than just Willow. "Have you heard anything from the school? Maybe something from a teacher?" When Jessica shook her head, Nina let out a 'hmmmmmm'. "Well, it is coming up on the…" She searched for the right word, one that sounded less joyous, but it wouldn't come. "…anniversary." She said, biting off the word quickly before it would turn bitter in her mouth. "It might be easier for him to be around Willow, who doesn't know about it."

There was a squeal as Willow tackled Jack, finally bored with her coloring. The two forgot about the drawing as they engaged in an impromptu wrestling match. Even if Jack was feeling down, he wasn't about to lose to a girl in a princess tiara.

"Hey, careful you two." Jessica said, but she was smiling. "We tried to keep it quiet for awhile. I mean, we had to tell his school, and a couple of friends' moms knew, but I don't know how much the other kids know, what he might have told them."

"Probably not much." Nina said, thinking back on her years counseling children's support groups in college. She'd worked in several elementary schools, often finding that there were fewer deaths than divorces, and children were far less likely to talk about the former. "A lot of times, other kids don't have the same experience with death. Maybe a grandparent, an aunt or uncle, but not as close as a mother. Without that shared experience, Jack wouldn't want to talk about it. They wouldn't be able to understand, and he wouldn't want them to pretend that they did."

At that moment, Willow wriggled out from under Jack and called out to her aunt. "Auntie Nina, can we stay over tonight? Jack and I want to build a fort, and we can watch Frozen in it."

Jack wrinkled his nose. "Nah, we should watch Captain America. Or Iron Man." He looked at Nina hopefully. "Or Hulk! Hulk's Miss Nina's favorite right?"

Jessica snorted as Nina sheepishly rubbed the back of her head. "Well, it's up to Miss Jessica and Jack for us to spend the night." She pointed out. Nina had Willow overnight anyway, and it might be good that Jack seems open to it, but in the end it was up to his guardian for the night.

The kids turned their big puppy eyes on Jessica. "I don't see why not." She said, glancing at Nina. "I stay in the master when Aaron is gone, but apparently Jack won't be in his room tonight."

"Oh, I'll probably crash on the couch." Nina said, waving her hand. "I will need to mediate the movie fight, apparently."

Jessica protested a little, but both Willow and Jack were thrilled to have Nina in on their sleepover, and Hotch called as they were setting up the fort - his case had been wrapped up in the day, and he'd be home late. Jessica ended p taking the small twin in Jack's room so that Hotch could sleep in his own bed when he finally got in. There were plenty of compromises that needed to be made when it came to the final movie selection, but eventually they settled on Tangled - Jack could enjoy the antics of Flynn Rider, and Willow could excitedly make cousin comparison s between Rapunzel and Elsa.

Nina had to admit, she missed being small enough to build a fort for herself. The two kids giggled and whispered under the blanket, propped up by two chairs and weighed down with books, and Nina wished she could snuggle into a little nest of blankets and forget the world for just a little while. She could hear Willow humming the music from Tangled, but eventually the two kids fell asleep. Nina realized that it was almost midnight - she had intended to stay awake until Aaron got in, just so it wouldn't be weird for him to walk in and find his son's psychologist on the couch asleep, but she was damn tired. She found herself drifting off, lulled by the snuffles of the two children.

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Usually in his dreams, his mother was smiling, happy to see him. Tonight, though, her face was shadowed, and he could see her mouth was turned down at the corners. He reached out his arms to her, wanting the hug she usually gave him, but she didn't come any closer.

"My hugs are too tight, remember?" She said, and her voice was dark with anger. Jack flinched away. His mother paced in the shadows, just out of his reach.

"Mommy?" Jack whispered. He just wanted to hear her voice. He missed her voice. Why wasn't she coming closer?

She took a step forward, so her eyes were in the light, but her mouth was dark, and a trickle of red ran down her forehead.

No, no! She was never red - not anymore, not since he started talking with Miss Nina!

His mom's eyes sparkled, but not in a happy way. "You went up to work the case, but not to be with me." She said harshly. "He was a bad man, Jack, and you went to work the case for your dad. Why didn't you stay with me? You didn't even want my hug, you said it was too tight!"

Jack started whimpering. That hug had been tight, so tight, but now he wanted it back. He opened his mouth, trying to tell his mom that he wanted it more than anything, that he wanted to hug her now, but no words would come out.

When Haley stepped closer, fully into the light, Jack's whimpers grew louder - her clothes, her legs, there were large blots of red everywhere, seeping onto the floor. Jack cried out, stumbled backwards, landed on his elbows. Haley kept coming forward, leaving pools behind her.

"What the matter, Jack?" She asked sharply. "What's wrong with my hugs now?" She looked sad now. "Don't you love me anymore, Jack? Don't you want to hear my voice?" The sound started to distort, and his mother's voice began to fluctuate, pitching higher and lower and back again. Then all of the different voices began to run together, high and low, all asking the same thing: "Do you still love me, Jack?"

This time, when Jack opened his mouth, sound definitely came out.

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Hotch had just quietly closed the front door of the apartment and laid his keys on the side table when a scream rang through the living room. Hotch whirled around to see Nina jerk up from the couch, and he could hear Jessica stumble out of the bed in Jack's room.

Hotch pulled the blanket off of the propped chairs. Willow had woken up too and was crying, wriggling out of her blanket and crawling towards her aunt. Hotch knelt down beside Jack, who was thrashing around in his own little nest, screaming.

Hotch wrapped jack up in this arms. "Jack, it's okay, you're okay buddy, it's just a dream, it's all okay!" He started rubbing Jack's back and smoothing out his hair softly. "It's okay buddy, just wake up, it's all okay…"

When Jack finally jerked awake, his screams dissolved into sobs, and Hotch sat in the blankets, rocking him back and forth.

"It's alright." He said softly, but when his eyes met Nina's, they both knew he was lying.